lying in odessa – part one

A couple of weeks ago, I played in a no-limit hold-em tournament.
There were sixteen players at two tables. It was a freezeout, with the top three finishers taking home money. I had never played in a real money tournament before, and this was my first chance to test out the teachings of Doyle Brunson, Mike Caro, David Sklansky, and Lee Jones that I’ve spent so many hours studying.

***

The club is on the eastern edge of Hollywood, in a pretty seedy area where the cops are too busy busting crackheads to bother a poker game. To get in, you walk down an alley, and knock on the door with the big red bar painted horizontally across the middle. Most of the people who play here are in the entertainment industry, so it’s appropriate that it’s something out of a movie.
I show the doorman a business card with the club’s address written on the back, and he lets me in. I’m here to play in a no-limit hold-em tournament. It’s the first time I’ve ever played in an illegal game. It’s the first time I’ve played outside of a friendly home game. It’s the first time I’ve ever played for money.
I buy in, get 600 in tournament chips, and my table assignment: I’m seat six at table two. We don’t start for about ten minutes, so I get a bitters and soda from the bar, and try to act like I belong here.

“You play poker, right?” my friend said to me a few weeks earlier, as we waited for the subway.
“Yeah. You have a game?” I said. I’ve been looking for something similar to The Tuesday Night Game ever since I read Big Deal.
“Sort of. You ever heard of the Odessa Room?”
I shook my head. “I’m spectacularly uncool, Shane, and I live in suburbia. What’s the Odessa Room?”
“It’s an honest-to-goodness speakeasy in Hollywood. Twice a month they have poker tournaments.”
“What are the stakes?”
“You can afford it. Why don’t you come with me next Wednesday?”
“Because I’m not good enough to play for money.”
“You ever played for money?”
“No.”
“Then how do you know?”
“I appreciate the invite, but my wife would kill me if I played cards for money.”
He took out his business card, and wrote down the address.
“Think about it. If you change your mind, I’ll see you there. Show this card at the door.”
With a blast of warm, humid air, the Wilshire / Western train pulled into the station. Shane got into the car.
“Of course, if you’d rather, you can just give me 100 bucks and cut out the formality of playing.” He said as the doors closed.
I laughed and flipped him the bird. He gave it back as the train pulled away.
I turned his card over in my hand. His office at Walt Disney Studios on one side, the address to an illegal poker game on the other.
Sometimes, I love this town.

The Odessa is really just a bar, and its illegal nature means its unknown owners have forgone the interior decorating that would make it truly cinematic; the only thing of real value is a sound system that rivals any Sunset Strip night club. Three well-worn area rugs cover most of the cold cement floor. The indirect lighting is provided by those halogen uplights that were popular in the 80s. Twelve of them line one wall, and create a pretty good mood. Large cathedral-like candles sit in sconces that are nailed to the other walls. There are several enormous Samoan bouncers watching over all of us.
Everything is portable, including the bar. When I lean against it, it rolls back a few inches.
“Watch it,” the bartender says. His tone tells me that this happens all the time . . . when fuckin’ new guys like me show up.
“Sorry.”
I swallow hard. I think about leaving, but my money is already spent. Better not lose my nerve now. For the first time since I decided to come here, I wonder if the club’s name has anything to do with the Russian mafia. Then I wonder how many of these Samoan guys have guns. What am I doing here? And where the hell is Shane?

73 thoughts on “lying in odessa – part one”

  8. Sometimes the very best writing and stories are those that are unfinished. This is a really nice piece Wil, kudos to you on a job well done.

  9. Awesome. At my friends house, the first friday of every month, there is a poker tournament. Usually around a dozen guys or so at one table. We each put in 5 bucks and then play torunament style, winner takes all. It’s really fun, and there’s a couple guys that show up that are semi-pro that teach us all how to play. Some of the most fun I’ve ever has been at that table. Getting beaten in heads up holding pocket kings, getting a 4 of a kind on the river, going all in, and then losing to a straight flush is a BEATING. Also, finish the damn story…now.

  10. Yeah, where the hell IS Shane?!
    Excellent story…I’ll be tuning in for the next installment of “The Adventures of Wil at the Poker Table”…

  15. Nah. Samoans don’t need guns. They just tear you in half, then tie the pieces in knots.
    It’s best not to have to learn this the hard way unless it’s absolutely necessary.

  17. Up until a few months ago, I personally didn’t pay much attention to the Casino-scene… I enjoyed quite a few late night games of Spades and Hearts back in my college-dorm days, but between pen & paper RPGs, the XBox, and an occasionally worthy PC-title, I don’t have the need to find more hobbies.
    What changed?
    Well, I got laid off after successfully completing an XBox game–Yes, that’s right, laid off after finishing the project on-time and on-budget, gotta love the game industry. I ended up landing a gig at Sierra Entertainment, or as the suits love to say these days Vivendi Universal Games Northwest. A few business cards and games still have the Sierra logo, but for all intensive purposes the great gaming company of elder days is long dead and I now work in its husk. What’s more, I’m now working on the next generation of the Hoyle Casino product. I’m now steeped in the games of Vegas, the obsession over the World Poker Tour, and discovered that Roulette must be French for ‘lose money fast’.
    Fascinating.
    Personally I’m not clear on why games of chance are illegal, but most every state in the union has a lottery. I would think that a state that has so much more money than sense like California would have casinos everywhere… Heck, getting married in Hollywood seems like a gamble whether your straight or gay!

  19. What made this place “illegal”? Poker is legal in California (and many other states).
    I’ve pretty much been doing nothing but play poker lately. I’m really addicted to it, but at least I (so far) have been doing reasonably well.
    It’s a ton of fun. And the amount of free food you get for playing for three hours at Bicycle is insane.

  21. Dude, I hope you didn’t give the real name of the club. Otherwise they will get busted and you will never play poker in that town again. For real, what if the Hollywood mafioso comes after you?

  23. hey wil,
    talk about a cliffhanger (well no you didn’t, but hey!) i want to know what happens next!!! i guess we’ll find out soon enough! at least i’m hoping so!!
    anyway…
    i hope it went well
    take care
    rach

  26. A friend of mines father was invited to that back in the 80’s…Sammy Hagar lived down the street from her uncle…and he invited them to a poker game…the guy who played Higgins in magnum pi was there…they of course, couldnt play. They didnt have 10 grand to ante in.

  28. Holy hell… I want the rest of the story.. don’t hold out on us Wheaton!
    Speaking of poker.. you know pokerroom has a tourneyment area now right?
    😉

  29. Admit it, is that an excerpt from JAG? You’re really not planning on continuing this are you? Tomorrow, your blog will say, “If you’d like to know the rest, buy my book!”

  30. Excellent first part — I’m on tenterhooks for the next part.I’ve played in two “real” tournaments (though up here in Seattle, we have casinos instead of illegal bars) and, for the beginner, it’s terrifying and amazing all at the same time. And funny as well, if you’re a young woman finishing much higher than a passel of old men :^)Even though the tourney is already done, I have my fingers crossed that you do well!

  33. Great story Wil! Being that my fiance use to work the back room games in Dallas, I’ve come into contact with just about all of the poker “legends.” Never hurts when you work the WSOP every year either. Of course, I won’t be doing that this year.
    For those that asked about poker being illegal…. it is illegal outside of a “sanctioned” card room. That is if there is a rake taken from the game. The government doesn’t want anyone making any money they aren’t getting a cut of. Home games are legal as long as the house/person running the game isn’t making anything off of it (so as long as all the money on the table is just going between the players its kosher).
    It scares me that I’ve never actually played live poker & know this.

  35. Was it wise to blow the cover of a secret poker operation run by shady underworld characters on your high-profile blog? You’ve seen “Rounders”. You know what these people are capable of!
    Run! Save yourself! Don’t be an Edward Norton.

  37. Don’t be an Edward Norton
    You mean, an actor who actually gets to work in quality movies and has a film career?
    Perish the thought.
    Heh.
    Actually, I changed a few details to keep the gods happy. 🙂

  41. Great opening – looking forward to reading what comes next. But I couldn’t help cracking up laughing – I expect ‘Daniel Ocean’ to walk in at any minute! 🙂

  45. Oooh shady. A friend of mine hangs around in dodgy locations like that and it seems to affect his character everytime he comes back. Don’t hang out there TOO often Wil or we’ll have to start calling you Godfather Wil, The Mafia King, instead of just plain Uncle Willie.

  46. Wasn’t Odessa the name of the cover organization that helped Nazis get out of Germany after WWII?
    Here’s hoping you didn’t just get involved with geriatric nazis.

  47. Why is everyone begging for Poker Story Part Two so soon? Wil has done multi-part stories plenty of times before!
    Give him a day or two … it takes a lot longer from him to WRITE his blog than it takes for us to READ it.
    xxxxxxxxxxx
    I’m glad to know that Wil DID change some details in order to protect the guilty (and to save his own neck!) As an occasional victim of “bad publicity” himself, Wil wouldn’t be so careless as to expose such an establishment.
    –Allan French

  48. I’m glad that “Zombie” told us what makes certain gaming illegal.
    The government wants a cut of the any alcohol sales, too, which often accompany gaming. So “Odessa” would need at least TWO licenses to be “sanctioned.”
    Speaking of government harassment:
    * Show Bush the DOOR in Two Thousand FOUR. *
    Your thoughts are welcome at http://www.CloseTheBooks.com
    –Allan French, Silicon Valley, CA

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