43 thoughts on “train in vain”

1. Grappling with goblins?!? Unless you’re giving them monk levels or something, that doesn’t work too well for the poor little beasties, who have both a size penalty (-4 for being small), a low Strength, AND of course the usual problem of triggering attacks of opportunity when starting a grapple, and automatically failing after being hit.
   Try using some alchemist’s fire, though. With their good ranged attack scores, goblins and kobolds can do pretty well with it, especially since it’s a touch attack (ignoring armor) AND it does splash damage, forcing the group to break up on the battlefield (making them vulnerable to flanking). If you want to be really mean, you can have a goblin fighter who’s proficient with the bola, and make ranged touch trip attacks . . . but that may be a bit much for novices to handle. 😉

2. Did I mention there’s 12 goblins?
   Heh. It’s late. The idea of a bunch of goblins trying to jump up and hold onto a Human fighter was just too funny. I don’t think they’d go for that in real life.
   Did I just say “real life” in reference to an RPG?
   Oh yeah. I really need to go to bed now. 🙂

3. Wil mate, you remind me of my friend Eriks from Seattle. AWAKE AT 1AM BECAUSE YOU DRANK TEA AT 6?
   In England we drink SO much tea that Eriks thought I was addicted when he visited. Perhaps as a nation we are. Tom Baker (great actor of Dr Who fame) said that his Mum drank 30 cups a day. You would never sleep….
   It just ocurred to me that wwdn has been my home page for a few years now. Keep up the good work pal.
   And fakers beware, 50,000 monkeys can be pretty protective!
   Cheers Wil,
   shaun
   UK

4. It’s even more amusing when you use undead chickens and squirrels instead of goblins. Players seem to find great amusement at the surreal absurdity of getting grappled by small woodland creatures and/or vicious farm animals.
   Well, alright. *My* players find it amusing. YMMV. 🙂

5. I only barely remember my days as Ambrose, whom I took to almost every discipline in D&D, but ah they come back to me now.
   Rolilng for shadows.

6. hey wil,
   good luck with the game, i can’t wait to read all about it!! I agree with shaun dude! we really do drink so much tea in this country! haha…
   well, anyway…
   take care
   rach

7. I would have commented earlier, but I was on my “TEA BREAK”

8. D&D and kids
   Last summer my extended family went camping and my brother and I brought our old D&D stuff. We ended up playing a casual game one night – no figures – just graph paper, an old dungeon and a couple of pencils. My 7 yo daughter was blown away, my 4 yo was terrified and my 18 yo nephew ended up taking everything home with him.
   Imagination kicks ass!
   Hey, what is “oil of bergamont?”

9. You should put up a couple of “now” pictures, I’m sure the site fans would probably bid on them! 🙂

10. I hope you post some details of their first adventure. I love hearing how newbies do at the game. Most of the time, they come up with ideas that seasoned players would never think of. (like the psi who made a dimensional door under the feet of a stone giant and opened the other end 50 ft above his squad of goblins. SPLAT!)

11. heh. n00bs can be soooo dangerous. A GM once gave me a spell in his homebrew system to create water in small amounts. The discussions following my attempt to create water INSIDE a bandit’s lungs forever changed the magic system of that world.
    That and creating money and reputation as an artist by selling the most intricate and finely crafted stone carvings. Out of wood carvings and a Petrification spell

12. Hey Wil,
    Given your (really interesting) descriptions of the lead-in to this D & D game, can you also write about the game itself? It’s been soooo long since I’ve played any RPGs and I’m living vicariously through you.
    -AT

13. Unless you have a high percentage of fighter types in the party I wouldn’t suggest too much grappling as it will make it very difficult to near impossible for spellcasters to do anything but get rescued by the fighters (which is always kinda frustrating). Unless there is a charge distance when they can unleash volleys of spells to break up the goblin horde. Also, I’d start out with just a few gobbos or kobolds or whatever you’re using first to assess the strength of the party so they don’t get wiped out in the first big combat. I hope this helps. I hope you guys have fun.

14. I agree with Razor…some ‘now’ pictures would be a brilliant idea.

15. Yes, i also agree that some current pics would be great, and sell really well. And those fakers should DIE
    And was your earl grey “HOT”

16. As far as kobolds are concerned, I just click on them and let the computer do the rest of the work. Ah, “Neverwinter Nights.” 🙂
    Cheers, Wil!
    Ariel

17. Wil,
    Goblins are a piece of cake. I believe in dice mojo…a players dice can be the makers or breakers of great heros. If your players have the mojo they can plow, right through a whole smattering of gobs. Yes… even fisrt lvl pc’s.
    However…if the mojo is tampered with then its all over. Please don’t touch the dice!!! I even have lucky gaming pj bottoms with dice on them (Joe Boxer), that I wear for gaming. Its the luck of the dice baby!!
    By the way~~
    3rd edition Halfling’s are just crazy insane, so are monk’s…Now combine the two, and you have a great pc. Earl Grey is a great thinking tea. It is one of my favorites, but Dew and Doritos are standard at our house on gaming night. Wil, I look forward to more gaming stories, you seem to have a great time with your boys. D&D rocks!!!
    GamerMom

18. Wil, twelve goblins might go for a grapple, if for some reason they wanted you alive. If they were doing four goblins per PC, they could easiley flank, and get a +2 to thier attack rolls. Also, flanked PCs don’t get thier Dex bonus. All it takes is one grapple attempt to work. If the second goblin attempts to grapple an already grappled opponent, it is an automatic success (PH p137).
    I simply love 3e rules. They reallt did simplify so many things, and having minis speeds the game so much. I can only recall with vauge horror having to calculate THAC0. Today’s game only recalls it, and hears terrible things about it, like it was some demon amidst the rules. THAC0. Ugh.
    For an interesting take on 3.5e update to D&D, go to http://www.montecook.com/arch_review26.html
    One of the writers for 3e did a review for 3.5 after WotC published it early.

19. Creating water in someone’s lungs! That is demented…I love it! The best we ever came up with was donning spiked armor and drinking a potion of gasseus form. Then you get enhaled by your enemy and either dispell it or wait for it to wear off….*insert evil laughter here*
    Ahhhh…those were the days…..

20. That’s kind of disturbing. I guess I didn’t really think that people would be stupid enough to auction off fake autographs. Are you going to say anything about it? Just curious. Though, it now makes me wonder about the hockey pucks, etc. that I have collected off of eBay. =\

21. yay for the get up kids.
    I met Matt Pryor once, he definitely gets the ‘nicest guy in a band ever’ award.

22. Wil –
    Why not sick ebay on those fake auctions? Or are they as bad at taking down fake autographed things as they are pirated video games?

23. And speaking of Wil Wheaton collectibles, I saw a repeat of Real TV on SPIKE last night that had a clip of your appearance on St. Elsewhere waaaay back in 1986. It was one of those segments where they say, “Do you recognize this actor? We’ll have the answer for you…when we come back!”

24. Be careful the boys don’t convert one of the kobolds; witness my secondary character, “Dead-Eye Meepo.”
    And just remember: there is a point at which “grappling” becomes “gropeling.” It’s a fine line, and it won my friend Michael this year’s Delver Bash! (I’d point you to the site, but it’s pretty self-explanatory. Yes, I have a friend named Michael Knight. That’s 1d4 geek points for me.)

25. Hey Wil!
    The real flattery will come in when you get to see how much the autographs go for- although i’m sure any fan willing enough to pay a mint for it would see your warning here first! Besides who needs a signature on a piece of paper when you give us all a piece of you each time you write an entry! I hope the game goes great, wish i could play too! Jenn X

26. I picture goblins and kobolds as dirty fighters and tricksters.
    Much more likely to do stuff like jumping on people who drop back to take a leak, or trip people with wires, or dump buckets of water on the torch-bearer from a hidey-hole, or rattle cans while blowing through the medieval equivalent of a digeree-do.
    All this while giggling and giving bronx cheers and the like.

27. Blain is a pain, and that’s the truth.

28. That reminds me when i was 12 and i went up to the microwave and said “Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.” My mom asked me what i was doing… “You wouldn’t understand,” i replied, while sulking away. I still drink a “cuppa” or 3 every night.
    *Ana

29. Hah, TGUK again.
    Wil, you rule more and more every day. 🙂

30. Waxed Grid Paper, that was initially used for drafting (before Autocad, children), was perfect for creating dungeon maps. Now the world’s supply of waxed grid paper is occupying prime realestate in some landfill somewhere.
    I remember our group that got together every Sunday afternoon to resume the adventure. The DM was this disfunctional kid named Keith.
    Very intelligent for his age, however the great joy he expressed while witnessing our facial expressions as our characters perished in unfortunate battles, was a bit unusual.
    The pleasure on Keith’s face while he described in detail, the care taken by a chaotic knight as he gently wiped my brains off of his glistening weapon, troubled me.
    I wonder where our former dungeon master is today. Those were the days. No matter what character I created for myself, Keith would make certain that he or she met their untimely (and often skull crushing) doom before progressing to a decent level. Although frustrating as hell, I admit it was really fun!
    Ultimately, Keith would be replaced by a more conservative DM, and adventuring with him was much more productive, if somewhat less exciting.
    You’re planting this seed in your kids, Wil. That’s great! The graphics of their imaginations will never become outdated. One thing to remember, though. Slaying a dragon and getting a magical sword during the process, will not score any XP with the girls at school. 🙂
    Keep sharpening those DM skills.
    eric b

31. Goblins and Kobolds? Huzzah! If you want comic relief, try Orcs. Suuuure, that 1/2 challenge rating makes them SEEEEEEEM like pushovers. ‘Til one of ’em crits you with a 1D12 x3 greataxe, slicing you into two piles of gooey goodness. (Or lawful evilness. Or…well… Did I already say “huzzah?”)
    Actually, I think they’ve got falchions now in 3.5…I’m not sure if that’s an improvement or not. Then again, battling legions of anything isn’t nearly as high a challenge rating as explaining to the wife why, despite having worked (overtime) three weekends in a row, I must now leave again this weekend to join the party.
    “But honey! We’re trapped in the Mor’Tok Stronghold. I’m the only one who can pick a lock!!”
    ojo

32. Ah, the old RPG days. Of course back about 8 years or so, I was introduced to Rolemaster. That system is a great replacement of the D&D system. Every role is 1d100. Someday when my kids are older, I’ll get reinvolved. Until then there’s NWN’s. 🙂

33. How about posting the links to the fake ebay auctions?? I know I would. I would hate being used like that!

34. Because siccing a bunch of angry people on some shmucks that are trying to make money off of a fake signature isn’t exactly polite, I imagine.
    I love the auctions, btw – I like looking at auctions where the description is just as entertaining as the product I’m bidding on. Presentation is *key* on ebay.
    And when you say ‘real life’ in reference to an RPG, yes – it is definitely time for bed. o.O
    Also – Wil, please check your email if you would – I sent you one, but er, I don’t know how often you go through your mail, and the one I sent is vaguely important-ish. To me. BECAUSE IT’S ALL ABOUT ME.

35. That 8×10 headshot makes you look pretty good…for an old guy. 😉
    lk

36. Wil,
    I just placed a bid on your Ensign Crusher photo
    on ebay. The bids are over $50–really hope I win. If I win, please give Stinky at Starbucks
    a dime for a cup of coffee (or has the price gone up?)
    You also made a comment about your “repeated failure as an actor.”
    I do not understand this comment at all. I watch
    Star Trek every night; I have seen every episode at least five times; you are a tremendous actor;
    you should still be in acting; you are NO GEEK.
    Say it aint so.
    Your admirer,
    Freeman.

37. Damn, that Stand By Me photo would be awesome–it’s one of my favorite movies. Unfortunately my five years of college have left me unemployed and thus broke.
    Here’s hoping you’ll do a similar auction in the future when I can afford to bid 😉

38. Must be gratifying that the most recent picture is doing better bidwise than the Wesley shots!

39. I have a 10-month old son and probably the most sad and geeky thing I thought when I found out I was going to have a baby was “When they are five years old I can start them with basic D&D.” Since I started gaming when I was five, I see that as the proper milestone for my kids. I haven’t had an opportunity to game in years (though I keep trying to get some friends together for one night of Paranoia backstabbing action)and I relish the idea of having a little gamer geek who will enjoy crashing through piles of orcs as much as I did.

40. The thing that I had toruble getting used to was Attacks of Opportunity. Sometimes it works really well, other times not so much.

41. Welcome to the world of d20 D&D, Wil!
    If you want to see the truly sick things that can be done with d20–from a mechanistic perspective anyhow–, check out the various RPGA campaigns… The shamelessness of the wargamer focus of Living Greyhawk is truly irritating at times, but you have to give them credit for really knowing how to abuse the system. So many people have cut their RPG-teeth on computer-based RPGs like Diablo and the SSI D&D games that I’m not sure they even know there is more to it than character builds, character descriptions based on the plus of their magic sword, and ‘kill the orc, take the gold’.
    At times I long for my college days of playing AD&D 2nd Edition campaigns run by a guy who never attended his classes ’cause he was too focused on prepping his games and the bizzaro GURPS cross-over campaign with bards from medieval fantasy settings, a ‘feelie’ star from a cyberpunk future, and a far-future scifi Martian solider all facing off with cyber’d minions of Chuthulu-worshiping cults…
    These days it seems nobody has the time for home-rolled games like that anymore, but the wide availability of RPGA Living campaigns at conventions, and some cool non-RPGA Living campaigns like Portals of Midwrathe, keep my gaming sweet-tooth satiated with a minimum of life-consuming time and effort…

42. “*chirp*
    *chirp*”
    Dude, do you read Ctrl-Alt-Del too?

43. Cool photo. Wish I could afford it. You’re up to $152!!! Brilliant idea for a certificate of authenticy. 🙂

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