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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

doing the things a particle can

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I love it when I hit command-Q when I mean to hit command-W, and Camino doesn’t say something like, “Hey, stupid! Are you sure you want to close down the entire operation? You sure you don’t just mean ‘close the Fark tab, so I can finish up the weblog entry?'” I heart my iBook, but I REALLY need to get it together and fix whatever the gdm / kdm issue is on my RedHat machine, so I can go back to using Konqueror.
Oh well. It’s my fault for not composing offline like I usually do. Let’s blame my tired little brain, mmmkay?
Here’s the incredibly brief version of what I just sent off to the depths of nowhere:
I had a fantastic time at the convention yesterday. I performed material from Just A Geek and Dancing Barefoot to a mostly-full theatre, and I think it was my best performance to date. I took material from both books, and I put it together in what I hoped would be a dramatically interesting order. I started out with two pieces from Just A Geek: the “Didn’t you used to be an actor?” story, which is a good introduction to me and my material, followed by a selection from “Still Cool.”
After that, I read “Can’t See Useless, which isn’t in any book (yet), but I think it’s cool, and I wanted to see how an audience reacted to it, especially an audience that expected mostly Star Trek material. (I think they liked it. It got some good laughs, and applause that was more than just polite when I finished.)
I read a selection from SpongeBob Vega$ Pants that I call “If you lived here you’d be home now.” It’s about the first time I went on Star Trek: The Experience in Las Vegas, and how it affected me. Then I read “Spare Us the Cutter” from JAG.
The auction thing that preceeded me ran way long (I was supposed to start at 2:10, and I don’t think I started until around 2:30) so I stopped at this point in my reading and told the audience, “I know that I’m running late, and William Shatner is about to start his talk in the big room, so if you want to go catch that, you should probably head out now.”
A couple of people got up, and a woman about 15 rows back shouted out, “I’d rather listen to five hours of you than five minutes of him!”
Applause. Applause. Applause. I’m pretty sure I blushed, and I thanked her . . . I was a little embarrassed . . . but I must admit, that felt pretty fuckin’ cool!
Most of the audience that started had left by this point, but there were still between 30 and 40 people in the room, so I took a moment look to look out at them.
These people are here to see you, Wil. That’s awesome!
“Can I read you one more?” I said.
“YES!!11!” They called back, in one mighty voice. (It was insanely cool, but not as cool as what happened next.)
“Okay. Cool!” I said, and turned to a new page in my notes.
“I first met William Shatner on the set of Star Trek V in 1988 . . . ” I said, as I started the WFS story from Dancing Barefoot, but that’s as far as I got, because they went NUTS!
Screaming, hollering, clapping, whistling . . . it was one of those Rock Star moments that happens from time to time, and I’d be the biggest liar in the world if I said I didn’t love it. I don’t feel “cool” very often, but I did when that happened, if only for a few seconds. I think it’s okay to enjoy that feeling when it happens, as long as I don’t let it consume me the way it would have when I was 18.
I finished the story, and then ended my performance with an epilogue from Just A Geek called “Hooters 2: Electric Boogaloo.”

Throughout the whole performance, I felt like the audience was 100% “with me.” I never felt like I was working to keep their attention, or that I wasn’t giving them what they expected. I had a wonderful time, and I’m grateful to everyone who showed up, even if it was only for a few minutes, to listen to me.
There is also a brief recap of some other stuff in my AudioBlog.

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28 March, 2004 Wil

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Never Threaten to Eat Your Co-Workers → ← mona lisas and madhatters

53 thoughts on “doing the things a particle can”

  1. Shelby says:
    28 March, 2004 at 11:10 am

    That’s awesome Wil. And you deserve every minute of it. I wish I could have been there.

  2. zootnarf says:
    28 March, 2004 at 11:18 am

    I’ve read most of your stories before, either here or in Dancing Barefoot, so I already knew them before you read them. Which made it even more amazing how blown away I was to hear you read them. They were like entirely new stories, and I was completely sucked into your emotions with you. You invest a lot of yourself in your writing, but in reading them, you invest a humanity that can’t be denied. People were hooting and hollering and clapping because we got to experience those stories, with all of their good times and bad, right along with you. And your emotionally involved reading of them was the reason we could come along on that ride with you.
    You know what? You’re really good at this! I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. But all I know is “Wil Wheaton – writer, web guy, and Head Monkey in Charge.” I don’t know “Wil Wheaton – actor.” I got to see both of you yesterday, and I’m very impressed. You are good at what you do – ALL of it. And your writing and acting skills combine in an amazing way. We felt that in the audience, and I’m glad you sensed it, too.
    Well done, wil. Thanks for a great afternoon.
    – zoot

  3. NolanC says:
    28 March, 2004 at 11:33 am

    Pixies to They Might Be Giants – one hell of a style change.
    Your music taste is so cool!

  4. geoster says:
    28 March, 2004 at 11:39 am

    Hip-hip-hooray!
    Way to go, Wil!

  5. Tony R says:
    28 March, 2004 at 11:56 am

    Good on ya, Wil.
    Who needs a con? This sounds like a decent stand-alone spoken-word performance.

  6. MHA says:
    28 March, 2004 at 12:02 pm

    That five hours vs five minutes comment must’ve felt wonderful! I haven’t seen you speak in public (still hoping for an opportunity), but having seen W.F.S. a couple of times, I can confidently say she’s right.
    Composing lots of text in a web browser is always dangerous… but cmd-A cmd-C (select all, copy text) every few minutes ensures that if the application suddenly vanishes, you’ve still got most of your text.

  7. D'Arcy Norman says:
    28 March, 2004 at 12:07 pm

    Rock on, particle man!

  8. jessica says:
    28 March, 2004 at 12:27 pm

    It’s definitely ok to enjoy that feeling!!! you deserve it!!

  9. Tina says:
    28 March, 2004 at 12:27 pm

    Congrats on your convention success! Just wanted to mention – I have Linux installed on my iBook and I love it very much (I also have OSX on another partition, if’n I need to use if for some reason, which I rarely do). If you like redhat, you might want to take a look at yellow dog linux (it’s a redhat based distribution that’s mad for Macs): http://www.yellowdoglinux.com
    I was able to install it painlessly as a Linux newbie.

  10. Abby says:
    28 March, 2004 at 12:39 pm

    You deserve it, Wil. You’ve earned this. Every bit of it, you’ve earned. I wish I could of been there to join in the Wheaton-loving. Hopefully, I’ll get my chance this summer.

  11. angelgypsy says:
    28 March, 2004 at 12:43 pm

    I wish I could have been there. But as someone who saw you at the Tulsa Con last year, I can empathize with the people who were there with you yesterday and how they felt when they recognized a great story coming. Like Zoot said, you are really great at this, and we loved seeing you then, just as the people with you yesterday loved seeing you.
    Glad to hear it went so well.

  12. Darkmoon says:
    28 March, 2004 at 12:46 pm

    Why not use Safari? It’s based on Konq anyway.
    Of course, you’ll still have the cmd-Q/W problem…

  13. Celticess says:
    28 March, 2004 at 1:10 pm

    Cool how that went Wil. 🙂 And I’m not suprised they hung with you. Your a cool guy even if you don’t feel cool sometimes. You got spunk I guess would be the word for it. 🙂 Also laid back, intellegent, and funny helps too…
    [mumbles]gentoo[/mumbles] ok not a nix elitist(eh I’ve got freebsd, win2k, tried mandrake & redhat, and somewhere around here is slack) but I like it…
    With gdm/kdm if you just upgraded your version(of kde or whatever then it whent wonky) there is somewhere in kde you have to change the path for somethings. I ran into a problem one time when I used kde(3.0 to 3.1 I think). Or you could just switch to using blackbox, pekwm, or fluxbox in place of those. They apprently run lots faster than the canned versions do. There are some help files online for that. Btw suprised you’ve not switched to fedora.(and gentoo btw will run on an ibook and you can map the keys to work right… I remapped mine but diffrent app as I’m not using a mac tho macs rock)
    Linky for using diffrent wm inside kde and gnome.(it also has something about kdm specifically in there too)
    Red Hat Linux 9: Red Hat Linux Reference Guide(runlevels but talks about gdm/kdm. You know tho you could do init3 instead of 5 and use .xinitrc and type startx…) 🙂

  14. Tammie says:
    28 March, 2004 at 3:04 pm

    OK…I’m tired of not having read all this great stuff except in the blog. I’m off to Amazon to buy the book now. Congrats on your success yesterday Wil. I would have stayed to watch you too.
    Tams

  15. st0ney says:
    28 March, 2004 at 3:05 pm

    Damm I wish I could have been there. I picked a hell of a weekend to go out of town. Sounds like things went extrememly well. Hopefully this is just the start. I can’t wait for JAG.

  16. Jenny M. Finster says:
    28 March, 2004 at 3:34 pm

    Ok, dammit, I got all teary-eyed AGAIN! Cause you so deserved those moments. And dammit, if I’d had the money to drive down (I’m 3 hours from Pasadena) I so would’ve been at this Grand Slam. And I would’ve been that woman! She’s totally right. And the audience is giving you respect you deserve. And yeah. And I’m totally proud of you man. It’s that whole, I-watched-you on-tv-when you-were -younger-and-have-been-reading-this-site-for-forever-and-a-day thing. I feel like I know you to that miniscule extent. And yeah. Sorry if I sound like I’m talking out of my butt now…
    People like you because you’re honest, humble, hardworking, FUNNY and a very very, COOL geek. 😉
    Oh, and I LOVE what you linked to when you wrote “the biggest liar in the world.” So very true.

  17. Mike C says:
    28 March, 2004 at 3:58 pm

    WOW – you’re a TMBG fan! Absolute coolness!

  18. spi says:
    28 March, 2004 at 5:10 pm

    TMBG is awesome!
    Looking forward to seeing you at Penguicon in MI next month.
    Its cool that conventions are finely starting to be fun for ya Wil! 🙂

  19. CDL says:
    28 March, 2004 at 5:19 pm

    Great TMBG reference…
    I wish I could have heard you speak, and I hope someday I have the opportunity (ever thought of swinging by Korea?).

  20. Serenity says:
    28 March, 2004 at 5:55 pm

    Hate your politics but respectful of your feelings during the performance.
    It should never be expected but damn it feels good when the audience enjoys something you put out.
    Congratulations and best of luck in the future.

  21. barbara trumpinski-roberts says:
    28 March, 2004 at 5:58 pm

    i read _dancing barefoot_ this morning before, during and after breakfast…
    …you rock!
    can’t wait to read _just a geek.
    hugs,
    kitten

  22. carlb says:
    28 March, 2004 at 6:55 pm

    \m/
    That is all.

  23. angelica says:
    28 March, 2004 at 6:59 pm

    The Shatner part was great. I don’t even know you, but it makes me happy that you’re doing so well with all that you are doing. Who would have thought that not acting, but sharing your life would be your claim to fame? I’d take your brand of fame over Shatner’s any day, by the way.

  24. Freeman in Louisiana says:
    28 March, 2004 at 7:04 pm

    Wil,
    I know you’re probably too tired to read all these comments, so I’ll just say “good night, sleep tight, don’t let the mosquitos bite.”
    Freeman 🙂

  25. Macgenerate says:
    28 March, 2004 at 7:32 pm

    Maybe I missed this before.. but why don’t you simply use Safari.. Apples Konqueror based web Browser?

  26. Jeffery Borchert says:
    28 March, 2004 at 7:46 pm

    Kick ass Wil!
    If I were in that room, I would have moved up closer to the front when everyone else left.

  27. Kevin M says:
    28 March, 2004 at 8:24 pm

    I agree with Tony R. You could totally go all Henry Rollins and go on tour as a spoken word performer and not just do it at conventions.

  28. Syd says:
    28 March, 2004 at 9:11 pm

    I’m the woman who made the “5 hours v. 5 minutes” comment to Wil–and although I said it at his table in the Annex as I bought a copy of his Cult of the One-Eyed Cat zine (which is what he said in his audioblog), I was in fact about fifteen rows back in the theater and said something there about preferring to see Wil rather than WFS. I meant it, both times, and I mean it now.
    Wil.
    Wheaton.
    Kicks.
    Ass.
    The thing I didn’t tell Wil was this: I had a friend coming into town that afternoon, and was seriously considering blowing off the Saturday program. So why did I go to Pasadena after all?
    I didn’t want to miss Wil’s reading, that’s why. Got there just before he started, left after I bought the zine. I didn’t mention this because it sounded so hopelessly fangirl and I didn’t want him to think I was auditioning for a spot in the Stalkers’ Hall of Shame!
    Anyway…maybe if we’re all very, very good, O’Reilly will foot the bill for a CD of Wil’s readings…
    Syd

  29. Skeeter says:
    28 March, 2004 at 10:12 pm

    Wil, just use the Keyboard & Mouse preferences -> Keyboard Shortcuts to redefine “Quit Camino” to use some other key combo. Here’s the hint about it.
    http://www.macosxhints.com/article.php?story=20040322013808670
    Hope that helps.
    Skeeter

  30. Angelwwolf says:
    28 March, 2004 at 10:18 pm

    “I’d rather listen to five hours of you than five minutes of him!”
    Don’t you mean “I’d rather listen to five minutes of you than five hours of him!” because that would make a lot more sense. 😉
    …and congratulations. You deserve all the happiness and success you get. 🙂

  31. Grif says:
    28 March, 2004 at 11:08 pm

    You have got to come to the UK.
    PLEASE !

  32. Brad says:
    28 March, 2004 at 11:38 pm

    Here’s a suggestion Wil, how about just running Konquerer on OS X?
    http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=03/12/30/0325256
    I’m not entirely sure it’s available for download, but this was back in December, so ya never know.
    Long time reader,
    Brad
    p.s. *LOVED* the Poker stories
    p.p.s. *LOVING* the VO stories currently. Your writing gets better and better!

  33. Wolf says:
    28 March, 2004 at 11:49 pm

    WOOT! Wish I could have been there!

  34. jenny T says:
    29 March, 2004 at 1:57 am

    You are f*n cool Wil! Seriously! I’m rootin for you with your Disney audition- you can do it! When will we be able to get Dancing Barefoot in Grande Bretagne? (Or did i just not look very well in the bookshop!)I am a huuuuge fan, the best of luck!

  35. Ben says:
    29 March, 2004 at 2:20 am

    \m/
    ’nuff

  36. rach says:
    29 March, 2004 at 6:25 am

    hey wil,
    i’m so glad things went well! you’re audioblog is great!! i wish i could have been there to listen to you read…one day!!!!
    take care
    rach

  37. millionsofcats says:
    29 March, 2004 at 6:57 am

    why is everyone so happy to comment? other than you were the son of the doctor on star trek, what’s the point.
    i’m confused. but hey i just commented too.

  38. Craig Steffen says:
    29 March, 2004 at 7:47 am

    Great to hear the readings went well! Whoo-hoo! You deserve the validation for all of the hard work you’ve done.
    Cool title for the post. I have another obscure 80’s song title for occasions like that:
    “Nothin’s Gonna Stand in Our Way” by Spectre General. 1d4+3 geek point bonus for anyone who can name the CD that comes from.

  39. E.P. says:
    29 March, 2004 at 8:25 am

    Hey Wil, great to hear you had such a good experience performing.
    … and now I have the entire “Flood” album by They Might Be Giants running through my head.

  40. Lisa says:
    29 March, 2004 at 8:29 am

    I just have to say that I so enjoyed this weekend! It was my first convention and it will definitely not be my last.
    I heard you speak and I was completely blown away! Little Wesley Crusher no more…
    I am a HUGE Star Trek fan and it was such a breath a fresh air to hear someone as “cool” as I am speak about things I love to hear about. Your words came alive to me and a few times, I forgot where I was – I had to keep myself from drifting off into your world. Your reading was surreal to me.
    Anyway, I hope to see your sketch comedy act real soon… and thanks for saying hi to me – I was all by myself and it meant a lot.
    Lisa

  41. Jason FUTUREWONDER says:
    29 March, 2004 at 9:21 am

    Wow!
    Puts on cheer leading outfit
    Go WIL! GO WIL! GIVE ME A W! GIVE ME AN I! GIVE ME AN L!
    GOOOOO WILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!

  42. Tracy says:
    29 March, 2004 at 9:35 am

    Particle Man? Sounds like you had a couple of minutes that were downright Universe Man, W. Right on… =)

  43. Annie says:
    29 March, 2004 at 10:49 am

    You say you never feel ‘cool’. but the word is very complexed and gets thrown around way to freely. You’re cool but in a way that disguises it so people don’t get pissed off and think you’re too big-headed. You’re cool but in one of those ways that ponders and says ‘you know, I may not appear cool, but deep down there’s a Fonzie-fied, Elvis-ish Wil Wheaton waiting to break lose on an unsuspecting world!’
    Aaaah it’d so great that sooo many people out there love you as much as we do…and for those people who left the room before your talk was through-SHAME ON YOU

  44. Annie says:
    29 March, 2004 at 10:54 am

    Ooooh PS, I saw my second ever episode of Star Trek TNG last night, it was pretty exciting! It was on for three whole hours and I watched it all, I was rather pleased with myself BUT I keep trying the programme on for size but it’s not really hitting the spot…is it mainly a guy or a geek thing, or have I just missed the plot somewhere?

  45. bw says:
    29 March, 2004 at 11:32 am

    Yeah – you can download konqueror for mac – it’s available from http://kde.opendarwin.org/ among other kde apps. Pretty slick. Of course you can run X11 and run the entire KDE Desktop off of that. More info at http://ranger.befunk.com/blog/ or http://fink.sourceforge.net/
    Cheers.
    bw

  46. Kristofer Straub says:
    29 March, 2004 at 12:03 pm

    Wil, I attended the convention Saturday and heard you speak. It was probably the highlight. At the time I knew you were writing and acting with a comedy group, and I looked through WWDN a time or two in the past, and you seemed like a cool guy. After that presentation in the Little Theatre, I think you are a “class act A++++++++++ would buy again” guy, and I want to buy your book. And I never buy books! And I’m illiterate! Well, not really.
    Side note, you’re writing a blurb for a friend of mine, Aeire, who draws Queen of Wands. I was going to come up and talk to you, except that I’m terrified of celebrities.
    Side side note, I was surprised to kind of hear snippets of conversation about how little anyone at the convention wanted to see Shatner. I know my brother and I didn’t. We had lunch while waiting for the DS9 panel.

  47. Rock says:
    29 March, 2004 at 12:58 pm

    Your discussion of ctrl-Q vs. ctrl-W seems a little ironic to me. If memory serves, in “Stand By Me” at the very end of the movie didn’t the grown up version of your character shut off his computer without saving his work first? Sure seemed like it to me!

  48. Mike D. says:
    29 March, 2004 at 1:06 pm

    Wil–glad to hear you’re in the Camino club…it’s a great browser. Cocoa-y goodness with a Mozilla-y core…mmmmm.
    I’m sure you have, but check out the nightlies if you haven’t–they’re reqally coming along.
    md

  49. Tom M says:
    29 March, 2004 at 1:13 pm

    TMBG? I hate when people leave out the definitions of things like they’re in some sort of cool club and don’t want everyone else to know what they’re talking about..
    oh… and WOOHOO WIL! You rock!

  50. Gayla says:
    29 March, 2004 at 2:00 pm

    Hi Wil! I was so glad to read your take on the reading and I will be putting a longer recap of the entire weekend into my livejournal later. BUT, I HAD to stop by and say this:
    I was at the convention with some friends of mine and we are all “Rosenfangirls”. Their only reason to attend was for the Smallville forums and pics with the The Sexy. /endfangirlsquee
    Anyway, I insisted we had to go to your reading, and we all enjoyed it so much! I had read some of the stories before but just getting to hear and see you was a treat. And even when you were done? Instead of catching the very end of WFS’s talk in the main auditorium we all followed you back to the Annex (really it wasn’t stalking at all…) And they both bought Dancing Barefoot!! And you were so kind to take photos with them.
    And I won’t name any names…but you DO have a new fangirl who said to me at least six times “He’s SO Cute!”.
    Thanks for making it such a great weekend!
    g

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