Anne worked late tonight, and I was too lazy to cook dinner, so I took the kids to a local hole-in-the-wall Mexican joint where we all love to eat. Especially when it means an opportunity to get away from “all that stupid healthfood” I like to cook (according to Nolan).
Ryan told me about a debate he had in school about media, and how media influences people, especially children. I realize that I’m not the most impartial observer here, but I was very impressed with the clarity of his arguments, and his responses to my challenges. In the end, we decided that media is a big influence in kid’s lives, but so are their parents (or at least, they should be.)
Nolan tuned us out most of dinner, and watched the NCAA tournament on a TV that hangs in the back of the restaurant, but he did add, “I think that kids want to be cool, and they see these people on MTV, like Outkast and Britney Spears, and the kids see how much attention they are getting, so they want to be like them. So the kids can think they’re cool.”
Like I said, I’m not the most impartial observer here, but I was impressed again by the depth of his thinking.
On the way to the car after dinner, Ryan said, “Hey, Wil, can we go . . . somewhere?”
“Somewhere? What do you mean?”
“I mean, anywhere that’s not home. I just want to hang out.”
“Yeah,” Nolan said, “I want to just hang out, too.”
I thought for a second about where we could go to just hang out. Before I could answer, Ryan said, “Hey! Why don’t we go home and play D&D?!”
I winced. “Oh man, I would love to do that, but I have been working so much, I haven’t had time to finish the adventure. I’ll work on it over the weekend, I promise.”
“Are you working a lot, now?” Nolan asked.
“Yeah, I guess I am.” The answer surprised me. “I’m on a deadline for Just A Geek, and I’m doing publicity for Dancing Barefoot . Plus, I got a job writing a monthly column for a magazine, and a bi-monthly column for another one.”
“Wow. That’s a lot of work,” he said.
I smiled. “Yeah, it is, isn’t it?! I didn’t realize that. Plus, this animation thing seems to be picking up.”
“That’s cool,” Nolan said, as we all piled into my car. “Does that mean we get to put air conditioning in our house?”
We’ve suffered through five brutal summers without A/C, and every time we think we’re going to get it, something unexpected comes up, and we buy a 15 dollar fan instead.
“Yeah. I think it does. We’ll have to see what the royalties are next quarter.” I pulled away from the curb.
“So . . . can we go do something? Ryan said.
“Yes. Yes we can.” I said.
“Oh! What?!” He said.
“Yeah! What?!” Nolan said.
“We can . . .” I paused dramatically, “Go to,” another pause, “the carwash!”
In unison, they said, “Oh man!”
I laughed. “C’mon! It’ll be an event. I haven’t washed my car in two months.”
Before they could say anything, I dug up the most saccharine voice I could muster and said, “I really want you guys to be part of this.”
We all laughed, and turned up XM. It was Rush played “Limelight” on Top Tracks.
“What the hel– er, heck is this?” Ryan said.
I affected a gasp. “Ryan, it’s RUSH! Your mom hates Rush, so whenever she’s not in the car, I crank it up.”
And I did. I cranked it up, and sang:
“Living in the limelight
The universal dream
For those who wish to seem
Those who wish to be
Must put aside the alienation,
Get on with the fascination,
The real relation,
The underlying theme.”
Then there was much air guitar, and drumming on my dashboard.
In a dry voice, Ryan said, “Yeah, you see, this sort of undermines your whole, ‘your parents influence you’ thing that you said at dinner.”
I held up a finger, finished a drum solo, and turned the radio down.
“What do you mean?” I said.
“I mean . . .” he paused. I looked over at him and saw his brow furrow. “I mean, kids at school tell me I’m funny, and my teachers tell me I’m a good writer. I obviously get that from you.”
He said it with total nonchalance, like it was just an accepted fact.
It took every ounce of self-control I have in my body and soul to not burst into tears. Ryan’s never told me that he gets anything from me. For most of our life together, there’s been an unspoken distance, a gap that I didn’t open, but could only be closed by him. In that moment, Ryan built a bridge. I don’t know how long it will stay there, but I intend to cross it every chance I get.
“Wil?”
“What?”
“Did you hear me?”
Of course, I was off in the magic land of Stepparentia, and I did not.
“Sorry, I was . . . thinking about something,” I said. “Tell me again.”
“I said that I obviously get my musical tastes from my mom. Except for the emo stuff that you like, and Cake.” He frowned. “Okay, so maybe I just get my 80s musical tastes from my mom.” He frowned again. “Okay, what I mean is, I have gotten a lot of influences from both of you.”
From both of you.
I nodded my head, and swallowed around the lump in my throat. “I think I get it.”
“Hey, when this song is over, can I put in a CD?” He said.
“Yeah! Put in a CD!” Nolan said.
I looked back at him in the rearview mirror. “Sorry, Wil,” he said, “but Rush sucks.”
I chuckled. “You are totally your mother’s son.”
The song ended, and Ryan put Comfort Eagle into the CD player. He skipped ahead to the title track, and the three of us sang along together.
“He is in the music business
He is calling you DUDE!”
We pulled into the Chevron station where the carwash is located.
“I’ll be right back, you guys.” I hopped out of the car, and ran in to buy my ticket.
I wish I could hear the attendant tell the story of the guy who came in tonight and wiped tears from his eyes while he ordered “The Works.”
170 thoughts on “symphony in c”
Comments are closed.
Ever. I’m not sorry for the double post. :0
i’ve been silently following your blog from the other side of the world for months now. i really, truly admire you for being as comfortable as you are in expressing what you feel. ryan and nolan are indeed lucky to have you, both as a stepfather and as a friend. =o)
it’s posts like this that makes a truly good blog. do keep on writing… =o)
Stepparent or not, always remember how important you are to these children. They may not always be able to express it, but they love and appreciate you more than you could ever imagine!
Maybe if you played “Subdivisions” they’d like Rush. Anyways…cool and heart warming post. 😉
Wil honey,
Please stay away from those Mexican places. You know those people carry switchblades in their boots and the food makes those horrible skidmarks in your underwear. You know how tired I get just scrubbing them out. And stop listening to that horrible rock music. What happened to the Perry Como record I gave you for Christmas?
Wil;
I know from where you come from. I have two step children whom I love tremendously. After years of being married to their mother, and they out on their own, finally, we seem to be coming together. It is a heart wrenching experience.
Bernie
You are such a cool Dad. Kudos to you and your lucky family!!
Reading that post makes me want to have kids. If only to have someone to play D&D with.
As a child, and a young man, I never had a good relationship with my father. Once, when I was 15, and caught lying about being caught smoking in the boys room, my father went overboard, and my switching, in the woodshed, became a beating. I moved away from him, and he told me to come back and take my whipping like a man. I said “whipping yes, beating, no!”, whereupon he turned and stomped off, saying “I’ll fix you” (or something to that effect). I instinctively knew what he was about to do, and ran into the house after him, screaming “Dad, don’t!”. As he dissapeared around the corner, my stepmother asked “don’t what?”, and I said “he’s going after the shotgun!”. Just then, he came around the corner, from the living room, and into view. He had the shotgun, and was loading it as he walked towards me. He jammed it into my stomach, and backed me back out into the woodshed, where he backed me up against a wall, with the gun still jammed into my navel, and with his finger twitching in anger on the trigger. I was sure I was about to die. After what seemed like forever, but was probably only a few moments, my stepmother appeared and started to speak to him. I have no recollection of what she said, but after a few moments, he gave her the shotgun and they went into the house. I stayed in the woodshed, for a long time, before I went back into the house. The incident was never spoken of then, or ever after, except for one time, and that time was even more traumatic that the event itself. It happened when I was 18, and my father found out that I was gay. His response was “I wish I’d finished what I started that day in the woodshed.” He had essentially said that not only would he prefer a dead son to a gay son, but that he wished he had killed me himself. That was 27 years ago, and I don’t think I’ve ever really recovered from it.
Whenever I read about the wonderful and special relationship you have with your stepsons, and how hard you try to be a great father to them, I cry, and wish my father could have been like you. Please save all your writings about them, so that you can share them with them someday – they need to know how much you care.
Thank you Wil, that post made my otherwise awful day, better.
Dude, you gotsta stop almost bursting into tears.
I am writing a treatment that would be perfect for you, but alas it will never see the light of day.
Lynn, that was my all time favorite show on PBS.
Wil, I think you might be able to help Jim Baker (actor from the show “Tripods”, not the televangelist of course) get the BBC to release Season 2 on DVD. It was cancelled by a very dozy prat at the BBC who hated all sci-fi and didn’t care if there was only one more season to go.
I know Ryan and Nolan as well as yourself would love watching “Tripods” episodes. Few science fiction shows have the real ability to impress an audience. “The Tripods” was one of these shows. As one person on Jim Baker’s website put it, “Imagine if Peter Jackson had not made the third Lord of the Rings movie.”
BTW, I saw “Nemesis” and was less than impressed. The whole thing seemed too contrived if you ask me. I’m glad this is the last one with the Next Generation actors, they need to move on to new ideas.
How about a prequel movie, call it “The Eugenics Years”, and it’s all about how Khan ascended to power and how he escaped. The best person to play young Khan would be Antonio Banderas in my opinion. It would definately be a different kind of Trek movie.
Anyway, all hail the TRIPODS! Take care, Wil!
Rocknar
http://www.subgenius.com – Praise J. R. “Bob” Dobbs!
You are a good dad, Wil. I am a new dad and geez… talk about water works. I was never one to tear up at the same cheesy things as my wife, but now that I’ve got this little angel to look at, and watch change… well, I’m a mess.
Wow. That is so frickin’ cool.
I’ve only been coming to your site recently — should’ve been keeping up on it for years, since you were an Amiga man — and that mostly to get a feel for you, as I’ll finally get to meet you at PenguiCon next month. I didn’t know much about you at all. But what I’m learning, I really like.
(/fanboy)
I am not that much of a Rush Fan…I mean, so what, they got the greatest drummer alive, and to top it off, he is a huge fan of Ayn Rand, but that doesn’t make up for him being Canadian. My friend’s who live down the street from me at comedy central told me to hate Canadians…*horrible Cartman impression begins* So Screw you guys…I’m going home. *End Horrible Impression*
Awesome Will!!! I was reading the paper today in my humble city of Fresno, Calif. and there was an article about the best stuff on the web and your site was listed and I just had to check it out and now I’m here. I like it alot, very thoughtful and fun! I dunno if you read this, but if you do…you rock! so rock on!!!
My stepfather was an ass-and-a-half so it is really refreshing to hear about someone being a great stepdad.Those are lucky boys.
By the way, A/C is delicious you should make it a priority. And also, RUSH is da bomb biggety.
Hey Wil! As a single mom I really hope I find someone as awesome as you are that will enter my daughter’s life with all the love and patience you have with the boys. And those lumps in your throat that appear whenever they say something remarkably amazing about you? Yeah, I think those show up regardless if you’re a parent or a step-parent. It really is hard not to cry and ruin that moment they have no idea they’ve just created. It definitely rocks.
Wil and Rush! This entry RULES!
To Shaun Erickson … that, in a word, sucks. That you can still talk about it, so calmly, is a testament to your strength.
To Wil … what else to say, you fucking rock! I’m yet another of those who came to WWdN recently (from margaretcho.com … another amazing celeblog) and had the initial “Wesley fucking Crusher? No thanks!” reaction.
Glad I gave it more time than that initial reaction – you seem like the most amazing guy, if in no other way than through your normality!
Anne, Ryan and Nolan are lucky to have you. WWdN is lucky to have you. We’re all lucky to have you. Keep writing, keep feeling and keep living!
x