Anne worked late tonight, and I was too lazy to cook dinner, so I took the kids to a local hole-in-the-wall Mexican joint where we all love to eat. Especially when it means an opportunity to get away from “all that stupid healthfood” I like to cook (according to Nolan).
Ryan told me about a debate he had in school about media, and how media influences people, especially children. I realize that I’m not the most impartial observer here, but I was very impressed with the clarity of his arguments, and his responses to my challenges. In the end, we decided that media is a big influence in kid’s lives, but so are their parents (or at least, they should be.)
Nolan tuned us out most of dinner, and watched the NCAA tournament on a TV that hangs in the back of the restaurant, but he did add, “I think that kids want to be cool, and they see these people on MTV, like Outkast and Britney Spears, and the kids see how much attention they are getting, so they want to be like them. So the kids can think they’re cool.”
Like I said, I’m not the most impartial observer here, but I was impressed again by the depth of his thinking.
On the way to the car after dinner, Ryan said, “Hey, Wil, can we go . . . somewhere?”
“Somewhere? What do you mean?”
“I mean, anywhere that’s not home. I just want to hang out.”
“Yeah,” Nolan said, “I want to just hang out, too.”
I thought for a second about where we could go to just hang out. Before I could answer, Ryan said, “Hey! Why don’t we go home and play D&D?!”
I winced. “Oh man, I would love to do that, but I have been working so much, I haven’t had time to finish the adventure. I’ll work on it over the weekend, I promise.”
“Are you working a lot, now?” Nolan asked.
“Yeah, I guess I am.” The answer surprised me. “I’m on a deadline for Just A Geek, and I’m doing publicity for Dancing Barefoot . Plus, I got a job writing a monthly column for a magazine, and a bi-monthly column for another one.”
“Wow. That’s a lot of work,” he said.
I smiled. “Yeah, it is, isn’t it?! I didn’t realize that. Plus, this animation thing seems to be picking up.”
“That’s cool,” Nolan said, as we all piled into my car. “Does that mean we get to put air conditioning in our house?”
We’ve suffered through five brutal summers without A/C, and every time we think we’re going to get it, something unexpected comes up, and we buy a 15 dollar fan instead.
“Yeah. I think it does. We’ll have to see what the royalties are next quarter.” I pulled away from the curb.
“So . . . can we go do something? Ryan said.
“Yes. Yes we can.” I said.
“Oh! What?!” He said.
“Yeah! What?!” Nolan said.
“We can . . .” I paused dramatically, “Go to,” another pause, “the carwash!”
In unison, they said, “Oh man!”
I laughed. “C’mon! It’ll be an event. I haven’t washed my car in two months.”
Before they could say anything, I dug up the most saccharine voice I could muster and said, “I really want you guys to be part of this.”
We all laughed, and turned up XM. It was Rush played “Limelight” on Top Tracks.
“What the hel– er, heck is this?” Ryan said.
I affected a gasp. “Ryan, it’s RUSH! Your mom hates Rush, so whenever she’s not in the car, I crank it up.”
And I did. I cranked it up, and sang:
“Living in the limelight
The universal dream
For those who wish to seem
Those who wish to be
Must put aside the alienation,
Get on with the fascination,
The real relation,
The underlying theme.”
Then there was much air guitar, and drumming on my dashboard.
In a dry voice, Ryan said, “Yeah, you see, this sort of undermines your whole, ‘your parents influence you’ thing that you said at dinner.”
I held up a finger, finished a drum solo, and turned the radio down.
“What do you mean?” I said.
“I mean . . .” he paused. I looked over at him and saw his brow furrow. “I mean, kids at school tell me I’m funny, and my teachers tell me I’m a good writer. I obviously get that from you.”
He said it with total nonchalance, like it was just an accepted fact.
It took every ounce of self-control I have in my body and soul to not burst into tears. Ryan’s never told me that he gets anything from me. For most of our life together, there’s been an unspoken distance, a gap that I didn’t open, but could only be closed by him. In that moment, Ryan built a bridge. I don’t know how long it will stay there, but I intend to cross it every chance I get.
“Wil?”
“What?”
“Did you hear me?”
Of course, I was off in the magic land of Stepparentia, and I did not.
“Sorry, I was . . . thinking about something,” I said. “Tell me again.”
“I said that I obviously get my musical tastes from my mom. Except for the emo stuff that you like, and Cake.” He frowned. “Okay, so maybe I just get my 80s musical tastes from my mom.” He frowned again. “Okay, what I mean is, I have gotten a lot of influences from both of you.”
From both of you.
I nodded my head, and swallowed around the lump in my throat. “I think I get it.”
“Hey, when this song is over, can I put in a CD?” He said.
“Yeah! Put in a CD!” Nolan said.
I looked back at him in the rearview mirror. “Sorry, Wil,” he said, “but Rush sucks.”
I chuckled. “You are totally your mother’s son.”
The song ended, and Ryan put Comfort Eagle into the CD player. He skipped ahead to the title track, and the three of us sang along together.
“He is in the music business
He is calling you DUDE!”
We pulled into the Chevron station where the carwash is located.
“I’ll be right back, you guys.” I hopped out of the car, and ran in to buy my ticket.
I wish I could hear the attendant tell the story of the guy who came in tonight and wiped tears from his eyes while he ordered “The Works.”
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As a brand-spankin’ new step-mom to 2 little boys, I loved your post. And as a former Wesley Crusher infatuation junkie who recently found your site, I love your blog. Thanks for all the work you put into it, and all kinds of good wishes for the best of luck in your future endeavours.
I have to add, like so many others, you seem to have a great wife and two great step-kids and I’m happy for you, but Rush abolutely ROCKS!!!! Hey… nobody’s perfect.
That is the coolest blog I have ever read.
In fact, that is one of the coolest stories I have ever read.
I look forward to reading your book! Thanks for writing-
-Tom
Do Ryan and Nolan read WWDN? If they don’t, it will be an incredible gift the day when they start to, and they can see them selves growing up through your eyes, and see how much you love them.
Scott
PS, I understand the confusion here. I think what they were trying to say is that Rush Limbaugh sucks. It’s a cryin’ shame when astute political commentary gets mistaken for blasphemous musical commentary.
There are people who don’t like Rush!?!?!? Consider yourself lucky, my husband likes country! *insert gagging smiley here*
What a wonderful story! I really can’t add anything else that hasn’t already been said. I only had horrid, negative experiences with my step-dad, thank god he’s out of our lives now. You truly are a wonderful person Wil!
Oops, forgot to mention:
When they boys are old enough, introduce them to Queensryche.
Awesome, Wil! Your entries revolving around those two boys always astound me. You are a great “step-father”….but an even better “dad” to those kids.
That’s awesome! I think they might like being with you a lot too, even if they don’t say it in so many words. Affection and “I love being with you” isn’t in their emotional spectrum at this time in their life, but they feel it (and will understand it later) all the same.
Congratulations, again!
Nothing personal because I think Wil is one of the coolest…but…(and you just saw that coming I bet), much of his blog posts seem written in straight to book form.
Prior to ‘Dancing Barefoot’ it didn’t seem that way. The posts were more casually written but now there is more form… structure to them.
It’s as though WW isn’t just relating happy little events in the Wheatoniverse but posting excerpts from a book in production.
I found you site via another Anne and have this to say:
1) Wesley Crusher rocked
2) Anyone who marries an Anne is cool in my book
3) Your writing is witty and interesting and I’m glad I cruised in
4) Being a step parent also I can releate to this too!!
Have a happy weekend!!
You have really good taste in music… you introduced me to a lot of good bands when you said about liking the online station The Paved Earth. It’s always great when you have a breakthrough with a family member, I’m still trying to have that with my mother.
I can’t believe I started crying when I read this. Wow, Wil, you’ve brought me to tears. What a wonderful moment with your stepkids. All kids should have a father that makes them feel this loved and secure. Many of us did not hit the parent lottery and get this from our birth fathers. How lucky Ryan and Nolan are to have this in you as a step parent.
By the way, I have to agree with Anne. Rush reminds me of someone stabbing a blunt instrument into my ear canal. Otherwise, I’m with you, babe.
it seems you are excelling in the most important role you have ever played…don’t wait for a nomination from the academy for this role…sounds like you’re winning the best awards at home.
I like how your writing really reflects your personality and allows me to feel like I know you and recognize you. It’s intimate, revealing and brave. Thanks.
p.s. tried to buy your book this weekend… not in any local stores. had to order it. got grouchy about that.
Half the time I read your blog, my mind’s eye conjures up an image of a kid in a now old sci fi tv show. I read it sometimes, and see a kid in a Stephen King movie, whose CHARACTER can write.
In the movie “Parenthood”, Steve martin’s caracter is in danger of being overwhelmed with all the issues of a parent, uncle, step father, husband, brother, etc etc. His mother, who is played as being totally spaced, tells him about a time when she loved to ride roller coasters. She relates how you never knew what to expect nex, up, down, left, right, and that was the greatest part. Intially, Steve dismisses her story as just more rambling, but, then he starts to really listen, and begins to understand what she is telling him,life IS like a rollercoaster, in some respects, cuz, you never know what to expect. Welcome to space mountain, Mr W!
btw- Rush does not, in any way shape or form, suck…..
bbtw- the funniest scene in “Parenthood”? definately the blackout- nuff said….
Stop making me cry! (Meant in a totally joking, you’re such a damn good writer and I love hearing about your kids, kind of way)
I mean, reading posts like this, I am totally proud of Ryan and Nolan– and I’ve obviously never even met them. It’s just hearing about them here they sound like such wonderful kids and its so great to hear about you talk about them with such pride and caring and all that good stuff.
You rule. ‘Nuff said.
I had tears when I read you’re entry today. I’ve never had a father and I have never seen where a father fits into a family, but reading you’re anidotes has made me realise how a father fits into a family and has made me more determinded that there is a father in my future family….
You are a true insperation….
(Excuse spellings, but my eyes are rather wet, and they won’t seam to dry!)
Spikexx
1.13am
20th March 2004
That was really, really sweet, Wil 🙂 That sounds lame, but I can’t think of anything else to say…
Rush does suck! Both the band, and the radio personality.
Cake rules, especially for longer car trips. I recognized the song name before I even got into the post. Which was good, btw.
Comment 123ish, but I don’t care. Wil, do you need anymore evidence that you are adored and appreciated? I think not. Lovely story.
Wil,
Thanks so much for a wonderful, personal post.
You make me feel like I am part of your family.
I guess I am just an old fart when it comes to music–I am a fan of Strauss and Mozart; and Rush
just means Limbaugh.
And your story brings to mind another story (please bear with me):
An Ensign and a Captain were together in a shuttlecraft and the Ensign says, “Captain, didn’t
you ever wish you had kids of your own?”
And the Captain says, “Wishing doesn’t make it so.” Remember those lines?
Peace to you and Anne and Nolan and Ryan.
Freeman 🙂
Awwwww … that’s so sweet! That story totally made my day. Happy families make me happy too.
That’s the fun of being a parent (even if it’s only as a stepfather) – those little moments when you are able to bond.
Do you remember the BBC series “The Tripods”? It was based off the popular young adult book trilogy by John Christopher, includes “The White Mountains”, “The City of Gold and Lead” and “The Pool of Fire.” with a more recent prequel called “When The Tripods Came”, detailing the tripod aliens arrival on Earth a century before “The White Mountains”.
IF you can find the DVD of season one of “The Tripods”, it could be another one of those cool programs to show Ryan and Nolan. The DVD is in Region 0 PAL format, so you may need special equipment to see it on an NTSC television. On the other hand, Region 0 PAL DVD is playable on any computer.
Unfortunatly there is no release yet of the second season, and as you may recall BBC cancelled “The Tripods” before their third and finalseason for no real reason, despite a peak of 9 million viewers in the ratings.
Jim Baker, the actor who played Henry Parker, Will’s cousin, has set up his own website to help put pressure on both the BBC and Second Sight Video to release season two of “The Tripods” on DVD.
Visit Jim Baker’s website at http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/ican/G380
Great post Wil, you know you really are like Gordie Lachance is Stand by me in so many ways. I know this is a little off topic but I found out like last week that Jonathan Bendis passed away, and River Phoenix, passed away way to young, why do all the amazingly attractive celebrity guys pass away so young? 🙁 It must’ve been so awsome to know him Wil. So is it warm in California? Just had a snow storm here in New York. By the way how old are you’re stepkids? and what’s with the new code thing?
those are some rockin tunes, I can’t beleive your kids think they suck!
Somehow, I knew you were a fellow Rush fan, Wil.
Somehow I just knew. 🙂
Nice post, and BTW: I feel for your non-AC-havin’ ass. Spending this past winter without a working heater sucked just as bad as getting heatstroke in the comfort of your own home.
Wil,
To most younger people RUSH is just a band for old people. To some of us old people they are like mozart. From a certain point of view, it is all cool.
FG
I recently gave my mom those same tears when I realized that, now that I’ve gone back to college, I actually do have some artistic talent… soley from her. I know how much it means to her… but, I wouldn’t have 15+ years ago. That’s for sure. Some day, I hope the boys will realize just how important they are to you. Thank you for, once again, touching my heart with such a beautiful entry.
Interesting. Just glanced over the whole site, and the latest poker blog. You may be as weird as I. Cool. There’s too few of us.
Then I read this blog, and realized maybe there’s hope for even the inverted double-helix moebius Klein bottle minded as well. (That’s intended as a rueful sorta-compliment.) Sounds like you’re doing well.
Can’t leave without thanking you for the .wav. Why? ‘Cause He Who Must Be Obeyed While Chortling Maniacally said to. (If you can’t figure out who I am (Fairly easy problem), Illiad can tell you.
I’m sure my post will be lost admist all these others, but I can’t help but say something.
That was so incredibly sweet. Hell, I practically burst into tears when I read what Ryan said about getting things from you.
I just want to say that while I enjoy all your posts, from the poker stories I don’t get to the Tolkien geekery, I love the ones about you and the boys the best. It warms the cockles of my heart to see you bonding to well with these kids.
Warms the shit out of my cockles.
That’s wierd. I just bought that Cake album the other day. I read the title of your entry and thought hmmm.. Cake. Turned out I was right.
Wil,
What a great story… but I’m not supposed to be teary while trying to sell phones! Those are such great kids- you are trully blessed.
Gods now everytime I have the AC on I’m gonna flashback to the AC scene in Dogma and think about you. Argh!
If a collection goes up for the AC my money will be in it.
-mkf
By the way…”Python” is going to be on the Sci-Fi channel @ 1:00 P.M. Pacific Standard Time. If you’d like to see Wil get eaten by a giant genetically-engineered mutant Python, then be sure to tune in. I know I’ll be watching. hehe
I’m sure you know that Geddy Lee was born on July 29th also. Rush is one of my all time favorites too. Loved the story. –The Disneyland girl (who also shares your birthday :))
I don’t know how you’re able to write things in ways that can move me so much.. and obviously others as well. I guess you just have a gift.
Thank you for sharing that gift with us.
I almost wanted to cry reading that story!!! You got amazing sons, Wil! (I think it is ok to call them your sons now.)
I almost wanted to cry reading that story!!! You got amazing sons, Wil! (I think it is ok to call them your sons now.)
Ugh, I hate getting in the 140th comment… you probably stop reading after the 60th, heh. But man, I aspire to write even a 10th as well as you do about things like this. You’re an awesome storyteller (true stories, even!), and we can all tell, an even better father. Keep it real.
And RUSH = \m/!!
That was nice Wil.
I’ve got a stepdaughter and it has been tough trying to get that “extra” connection that is there automatically if you’re a biological parent.
Congrats.
John John
\o/
Tripods! That’s it! Thank you Rocknar. I’ve been trying to think of that series for weeks. Rush always reminds me of those books. Not the best writing as I remember, but memorable, obviously.
Wil,
I have to say that I haven’t been on the site for awhile. My wife was surfing and leaned over and said that I NEED to go check out WWDN now. I’d been in kind of a snit most of the day, having been on the spot at noon on Ticketbastard.com to get my tickets to see Rush in Milwaukee in June. Didn’t matter, ended up getting some moderatly crappy tickets. The thing is that I’m taking my 10 year old daughter to her first concert, and this being my 10th time seeing them, I wanted to be much closer. Long story short, Thank You for making me smile! That is a wonderful story. Take the boys and go see The Boys this summer there in S CA. No guarantee that they will tour again….
Thanks again,
YYZ
That so Rocked. Yes that did. Also glad to know that you are busy writing. OT: but, does this mean that you have given up acting? I’m selfish to say- but, I really hope not, your too good to lose. OT:-Again, but, did Keith Coogan say that you were on the scifi network at 1:00pm- PST? Damn it.
Wil, you seem like a great parent. Also, Rush rules. 🙂
I, like many others, can only speak as a step-daughter and not as a step-anything else, but I know I certainly got a LOT from my step-dad:
1. Writing style
2. Intellectual interest in film
3. Anal-retentive attention to mix CD detail
4. Appreciation for art museums
I also know my step-dad’s taken a few things from me, mainly my indie rock collection ^_~, but there are some things on which we will never agree (for instance, he used to call UPN the “Bad Skin” channel because of Star Trek *sighs and shakes head*). Honestly, though…for all my daughterly angst, my parents–all three of them–raised me well. Step-parents are no less important to a child’s life than their real parents, and I’m glad that you are able to see them as both yours and children. All five of you (dogs should always be included in the family count ^_~) are truly blessed.
I almost wanted to cry reading that story!!! You got amazing sons, Wil! (I think it is ok to call them your sons now.)
I almost wanted to cry reading that story!!! You got amazing sons, Wil! (I think it is ok to call them your sons now.)
I almost wanted to cry reading that story!!! You got amazing sons, Wil! (I think it is ok to call them your sons now.)
Wil, I’m not trying to suck up to you or anything, but, do you realize that you are doing a fantastic job? For kids, it’s usually a constant struggle to be loyal to the “blood father”, and more of a hard time for the step father? You are doing a fantastic job. Nver forget that.