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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

this ain’t no holiday

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I’ve been meaning to talk about this . . . but it’s such an incredibly divisive issue, I’ve really kept my thoughts private.
I have seen this on TV just about every day for weeks, and it’s really heated up since Sunday . . . and I can’t just sit here silently any longer.
I have to live with myself, and living with the knowledge that I was silent about this is much worse than enduring some short-term controversy.

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24 March, 2004 Wil

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i see elvis, i hear god on the phone → ← slicin’ up eyeballs

134 thoughts on “this ain’t no holiday”

  1. Gandalfe says:
    24 March, 2004 at 9:46 pm

    Regarding the astronauts vs cavemen – you have to ask, do the astronauts have weapons? I mean, do they show up with their laser pistols, or do they have to build them a la Kirk in, um, that episode whose name I can’t remember right now?
    ‘Cuz the cavemen have fire.

  2. Brandi says:
    24 March, 2004 at 9:51 pm

    \m/ Dude, I’m a hero! \m/
    (Probably only to the guys… I think the gals are still mad at me for saying we nag… hey, it’s the truth. Why lie?)
    Just ‘keeping it real’. 🙂

  3. Rhonda says:
    24 March, 2004 at 10:01 pm

    Heh. You’re too funny. I finally caught Teen Titans last night (BTW, the show rocks!), and stayed up to watch a few of the animes that come on later. I dreamt last night about the whole Shark vs. Crock thing.
    Though, I have to disagree. Only because of the whole air breathing issue the Shark will have. *gr*

  4. Kane says:
    24 March, 2004 at 10:10 pm

    The battle rages!!!
    Keep in mind folks. Cavemen had to survive wild animals and nature in order to survive.
    We need Wil to weigh in. Although i think he’s a bit biased. You know, having been an “astronaut(. . .on some kind of star trek)” himself once. 🙂
    P.S.
    Just be glad “keeping it real” didn’t go wrong Brandi. 😉

  5. Emily says:
    24 March, 2004 at 10:12 pm

    see, i just have to look at it this way. the shark will beat the croc by mobility alone. they train astronauts doing space walks by swimming, so obviously swimming and flying are very close to each other. take the shark out of water and give him a jet pack, and he might as well still be in water.
    ps – tiger and astronaut for the other two arguments. although, did they ever say how the *#$(&# astronauts and cavemen ended up fighting??

  6. edwoodca says:
    24 March, 2004 at 10:14 pm

    lol… hey… did you east coasters spill the beans for us on the West? I voted Shark way back up near the top of the posts this afternoon… guess I don’t have to tune in at 11pm, now.
    and how did I miss the spaceman v. caveman on Angel… oh, yeah… watching how the O.C. tries to emulate my county. heh… they film it in L.A. anyway.

  7. Tasha says:
    24 March, 2004 at 10:15 pm

    No way, man. Croc is totally gonna kick Shark’s ass. :p

  8. Axl says:
    24 March, 2004 at 10:24 pm

    I’ve been an anonymous reader up ’til now, but I have to weigh in on this issue.
    Astronauts will totally whip the crap out of cavemen. Spacemen are smarter and tougher, for sure. Cavemen spend most of their days laying about, waiting for food to show up. Sure, they’re strong, but where’s the endurance? Not to mention the astronauts’ military training, including personal combat, tactics, and survival. Hands down, Spacemen all the way!
    Oh, and by the way, the shark wins only if he strikes first, otherwise, croc tears him to pieces.

  9. Zanazaz says:
    24 March, 2004 at 10:28 pm

    Aaarrgggh! Me no have cable. Me no can watch Adult Swim. Me so sad. Me needs sleeps. Me needs to say good night. Good night….

  10. Drew says:
    24 March, 2004 at 10:45 pm

    Shark’s got my vote. There’s no contest.

  11. JASON FUTUREWONDER says:
    24 March, 2004 at 10:50 pm

    Wil,
    WIL!!! What in sam hell are you talking about?
    lol
    Jason

  12. Shawn says:
    24 March, 2004 at 10:52 pm

    Being from way up here in Canada… I have no clue what you’re talking about. So I’ll have to take your work for it – Go Shark!

  13. Shawn says:
    24 March, 2004 at 10:54 pm

    Umm that should read “word” for it… Crud.

  14. Kane says:
    24 March, 2004 at 10:55 pm

    Ahh, but remember Axel. The cavemans entire life has been about survival. He has to hunt for his food and kill it with either hand made weapons or his bare hands. The astronaut just squeezes it from a tube.
    Food for thought.

  15. Gavin says:
    24 March, 2004 at 11:01 pm

    Shark, all the way. For one, he’s got the jetpack, meaning he’s got a faster top speed. Croc may have manuverability, but I’ve yet to see any bird outrun a jet. Another thing- Croc looks like he’s been keeping in shape and all- but Shark looks like he’s been pumping up for this fight for some time. And finally, let us not forget: If Jaws had been able to fly, Roy Schieder wouldn’t have lived to become captain of the seaQuest.

  16. Jessi says:
    24 March, 2004 at 11:03 pm

    Dudes, sorry, but I totally agree with Wil on this one.

  17. Yuri says:
    24 March, 2004 at 11:15 pm

    Richard Hatch wrestled a shark, so the wrestling croc theory is a load of crap…they wrestle little crocs, not the 15 footers.
    Caveman will crush the astronaut. Astronauts are all pansy scientists now and there’s not a lot of need for hand to hand combat in space. If it were a cosmonaut then I would change my vote.

  18. wildoates says:
    24 March, 2004 at 11:34 pm

    I tend to think that men become a tad over excited with these questions, when really one should be focusing on the important debates: in a match between a kangaroo and an emu who would claim victory?

  19. Prodigal says:
    24 March, 2004 at 11:57 pm

    The shark is totally going to kick the croc’s scaly ass. Crocs are tough, and all, but sharks are living engines of destruction.

  20. Matt says:
    25 March, 2004 at 12:00 am

    Since I have no idea what you are talking about, I’ll just nod and agree with the majority.

  21. Brandi says:
    25 March, 2004 at 12:01 am

    Kane: True, true… 🙂
    Here’s a fight for ya – you think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman? (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink…)
    ;)-

  22. Kane says:
    25 March, 2004 at 12:13 am

    Mighty Mouse and Superman?!!! That’s preposterous!!! How dare you bring such trivial nonsense into an intelligent debate!!!
    The nerve.
    Superman pwns. Boo Yah!
    🙂

  23. Alara says:
    25 March, 2004 at 12:14 am

    You make rather valid points that I myself hadn’t even considered. Except for that arm thing; I was totally thinking Trogdor as soon as I saw them. Right on Wil, right on.

  24. Christine says:
    25 March, 2004 at 12:42 am

    *sniff*, *sniff*.
    This is me sitting over by the atari while all the cool kids talk about a trend I don’t understand.
    That’s OK. Who needs it anyway?

  25. Brandi says:
    25 March, 2004 at 12:57 am

    (Actually, that Mighty Mouse – Superman thing was a Stand By Me reference…) You call this whole conversation an intelligent debate? What a [flying] croc of… blah, blah (nag, nag).
    Flying croc… I made a joke! :)-

  26. Kane says:
    25 March, 2004 at 1:07 am

    Heh, I know. I got the SBM joke. I had to throw some silliness in :p
    No!! Not the nagging!! Anything but the nagging!
    🙂

  27. Axl says:
    25 March, 2004 at 1:10 am

    Hey, look, all I’m saying is that Muhammed Ali in his prime is way better than anti-lock brakes!

  28. Evilbeard says:
    25 March, 2004 at 1:30 am

    I have but eight words:
    wing fragile. bite wing. croc fall down.

  29. jon says:
    25 March, 2004 at 2:03 am

    Definately shark: presumably the entire battle would take place in midair, and the flying shark, in an odd way, has homefield advantage–he spends his entire life underwater, which is just as fluid as air. The damned croc is essentially just a big lumbering lizard. Shark’s brain is also superior; he’d probably go straight for the croc’s genetically engineered wings. What’s the croc gonna do, try to attact a fucking jet pack? He’d get scorched by the ultrahot flame! No, shark all the way.
    And spaceman.

  30. edwood says:
    25 March, 2004 at 2:55 am

    Evilbeard… what’s the 8th word?! Don’t leave us hangin’!!!! Nooooooooooooo…

  31. ostheimerd says:
    25 March, 2004 at 4:21 am

    …
    You know what that is? Croc followed by shark poop!
    🙂

  32. blucat/redblanket says:
    25 March, 2004 at 5:42 am

    You got me Wil. I totally thought that this would be about Richard Clark…blushes.
    Brainwashed eh?
    What is this Shark and Croc of whom you all speak?

  33. Julia says:
    25 March, 2004 at 5:47 am

    Axl, I’d want you to marry me if I wasn’t already married.
    Kane – yes, I know it was foreshadowing for Illyria…but don’t you think that means, in the end, astronauts will win, because the smarter people will somehow get Fred back? She can’t be gone-gone, right?
    I mean, really…only the BAD GUYS were the ones who said she was irretrievably gone. Why would you believe THEM?

  34. Scott McDonald says:
    25 March, 2004 at 6:29 am

    umm…. WTF???
    -Scott
    TwoPeanuts.com

  35. NephraTari says:
    25 March, 2004 at 6:34 am

    Croc drags Sharks no leg havin arse up onto land and has his whipping way with Shark…
    I am going with Croc!
    Look at that skin baby, how can you go wrong with skin like that? 😉

  36. Lawless1 says:
    25 March, 2004 at 6:38 am

    I have no idea what you are talkin about. Not sure I wanna know either. LOL Speaking of Teen Titans, I told my best friend (the one who couldn’t stop laughing at the WFS story in Vega$pants)you were the voice of Aqualad, now he thinks you’re totally cool.

  37. anc says:
    25 March, 2004 at 6:56 am

    I quite certain something got in the water and everyone here has gone insane. You are not even speaking words, just making strange sounds and noises. The only thing I understood was something about Richard Hatch wrestling a shark.
    Or maybe it’s me.
    And Richard Hatch wreslted *an extremely small* shark btw.

  38. Groonk says:
    25 March, 2004 at 7:17 am

    One word. Two syllables.
    Deathroll.
    Croc’s got it. Shark don’t.
    Croc’s gonna whip some shark tail!

  39. Sami says:
    25 March, 2004 at 7:20 am

    Shark! Yar!
    Angel said no weapons. Caveman pounds Astronaut into pulpy, space-suited goo.

  40. chris says:
    25 March, 2004 at 7:29 am

    Croc has LEGS!!! He could totally stand on Sharks head.
    Or even kick shark in the tail really really hard.
    Whatever the outcome, you can vote on it here.
    http://www.adultswim.com/promos/200403_shark_v_croc/index.html
    nice rocketpack shark (tee-hee)

  41. David B says:
    25 March, 2004 at 8:29 am

    I just love the setup on Adult Swim for this.
    (Not exactly quoted)
    “For years, a question has been floating around the offices of Adult Swim. Who would win in a fight between a flying shark, and a flying crocodile?”
    Priceless. The things these people can get away with.
    “They will battle in a battle where there can be no winner…WHO WILL WIN?! Questions will be asked, AND DESTROYED, BY ANSWERS!”

  42. Ryan Waddell says:
    25 March, 2004 at 8:32 am

    Farking heck! I think I’m going to petition the CRTC to let them bring Cartoon Network up here. It SO kicks the crap out of our crappy “Teletoon”…

  43. Whistler says:
    25 March, 2004 at 9:12 am

    Really, how long do you think shark can last out of water? He’ll give it a go for a short time but eventually he’ll run out of air. A croc is bigger and meaner then an alligator and can be freaking huge! As long as the croc doesn’t expose his soft belly to the shark in the few minutes the shark will have before running out of air the croc will win without any problems!

  44. Jason Thomas says:
    25 March, 2004 at 9:48 am

    I have to go with Croc too.. Sure when I first looked at the situation I thought it might be Shark.. He is faster, cooler, bites hard, and drinks more alcohol. However, in the end the croc is the favorite to win. There is just now doubt about it. His immobility will be the key as he can just sit there and wait for the shark to get too close to get his head bitten off..
    Jason

  45. Wrex says:
    25 March, 2004 at 9:59 am

    Come on! How can you even consider going against a lightning fast shark with (as Wil so accurately puts it) Trogdor arms?

  46. Malcolm Harris says:
    25 March, 2004 at 10:00 am

    SHARK ALL THE WAY!
    The Shark is a flying killing machine!
    In fact after the Shark eats the Croc he just might eat the rest of us.
    Croc Can’t stop it, we can’t stop it!
    So if mankind is to survive this battle we better hope Aquaman and Aqualad are ready to save us otherwise we are so dead.
    THE SHARK WILL RULE THE DAY!

  47. Astronaut says:
    25 March, 2004 at 10:30 am

    ASTRONAUTS FOR SHARK!
    ASTRONAUTS FOR SHARK!
    ASTRONAUTS FOR SHARK!

  48. Dyanna says:
    25 March, 2004 at 10:35 am

    My brother in law is actually the shark scientist that was on the show, Dan Huber. So, naturally, I HAD to root for the shark, and it won, by golly!

  49. Sol says:
    25 March, 2004 at 10:40 am

    I am laughing so very hard right now, mostly at myself. To think that I actually understood not only the whole croc v. shark thing but also the astronauts v. cavemen thing makes me feel that prehaps I am watching just a little bit too much tv…but then again Angel and Adult Swim are great tv 😀
    Amusing entry Wil. Definitely seems to have gotten everyone riled up.

  50. seasnail says:
    25 March, 2004 at 10:58 am

    O.M.G.

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