the happiest days of our lives

The last two weeks have been incredible trip back across the last three years (and in some places, the last fifteen years) as I’ve worked on my Just A Geek rewrite . . . and I’m down to the final scene in the book, which I will finish today.
I sent the 99% completed manuscript to my editor two days ago, and after reading it, he sent back a note, that he asked I share with WWdN readers.

Hello there, friends, fans, and freaks. This is Wil’s O’Reilly editor,
piping in to let you know where Wil has been lately. As he mentioned a few days ago, I’ve been cracking the proverbial whip (well, let’s just say it’s proverbial, to protect the innocent), and figured I’d write something about “Just a Geek” while I’ve got him slaving over a keyboard. First, let me say a “Thank you” to all of you guys, who made “Dancing Barefoot” nothing short of a phenomenon–I can honestly say that signing Wil as an author was made easier by every one of you who plunked down your cash to pick up a copy. It got my attention, and eventually got Tim O’Reilly’s attention, which is why you’re going to be able to buy “Just a Geek” at every store in the nation, rather than having to order it direct. Wil’s quite happy, I hear, as he and his wife were prone to squabbling over exactly how many stamps 100 pages of nostalgia cost to ship in today’s economy.
In any case, all prelude aside, I wanted to say just a word about “Just A Geek”, as I just finished reading the 99% complete manuscript.
It’s incredible.
You want this book.
You need this book.
All brevity aside, you’re all going to be very, very pleased. Without denigrating (yes, I paid a lot of college tuition to use big words like that, thank you very much) “Dancing Barefoot” at all, “Just a Geek” is a highly polished, well-written, wonderfully crafted novel that goes so much further than any of you can imagine. It’s a lot of fun, and that’s after way too many readings. I’m not trying to get you drooling too much (well, maybe a bit), but suffice it to say that the few days you’ve lost Wil on WWdN have paid off in spades. In fact, it’s as if Wil picked up a Queen of Spades on the river to make a gutshot royal straight flush, which is a pretty big deal where I come from.
I’m confident that you’ll start to see bits and pieces of JAG show up here, on oreilly.com, and of course at Wil’s appearances, but I just thought you all deserved to know that this is going to be a killer book. I’m not a flatterer, so take that as high praise. Wil has literally busted his tail to get this done, respond to hundreds of comments, add lots of new material, and generally become a terrific author. I can honestly and happily say that while JAG is great, I expect it to be only the first full-length book; only the initial offering in a long line. We’re excited here at O’Reilly to help you guys get as much of Wil as we can… to squeeze the very life out of him while his family laments what life used to be like before writing contracts… to ensure his mother knows his voice only by memory…
Oh… sorry… I got a little caught up in being an editor again. In any case, we all love Wil here, and expect to see a lot more from him in the months to come. We’ve also got some great surprises coming along, like a potentially mind-blowing foreword to “Just a Geek”, some opportunities for collectible copies, and much more… so stay tuned, right here.
I’ll go let Wil out of his cage … er … office … in a day or two, and you’ll get to read it all here.

Wow.
Thanks, Brett. I . . . don’t know what to say. I’m really happy with the way this book has turned out . . . but I don’t think I can take credit for the entire thing. A lot of people have given me valuable feedback along the way, including you.
I’m really not supposed to do this, but I’m going to share a tiny glimpse of what I’m finishing up today. Don’t tell anyone, okay?

I had my final costume fitting the next day, and the day after that, I found myself at the Melrose Avenue guard shack, half-an-hour early for my 8:30 am call time.
“ID, please.” The guard said.
I pulled my driver’s license out of my wallet, and gave it to him.
“And where are you going today . . . ” he looked at my license. “Wil?”
“I’m working on Star Trek.” I said.
“Enterprise or Nemesis?”
The Next Generation.
“Nemesis,” I said. “I play Wesley Crusher.”
He looked up at me. “Oh my god. You are Wesley Crusher. You look so . . . ”
Washed up?
“. . . grown up.”
“Yeah,” I said. “It’s been a long time.”
“Do you know where to park?”
“Yeah. But I don’t know where our dressing rooms are.”
But I do! I do know where our dressing rooms are! They’re trailers on the street in front of stages 8 and 9. Mine is filled with Warhammer 40K figures and GURPS books. It’s right next to Brent’s trailer. It’s 1989, and I’m back. I’m back home.
“Okay,” he said, and gave me directions to an area on the lot where I’d never been before.
I parked my car, and picked up my backpack. Inside was my script, a notepad, and a few tapes: Only A Lad, Music For The Masses, and Squeeze: Singles 45 and Under . . . all of them music I listened to when I was working on the series. I remember, when I put them in my backpack, that I thought to myself, “Maybe I can sit in my trailer, listen to ‘Never Let Me Down,’ and imagine that I never left.”
I locked up my car, and walked toward the dressing rooms. Other than the addition of a back lot, Paramount hadn’t changed in any substantial way since I was on the show, and my thoughts drifted as I walked down those familiar streets on auto-pilot.
That’s where I met Eddie Murphy when I was sixteen . . . Hey! I crashed a golf cart there when I was fifteen . . . There’s the mail room . . . There’s stage six, where the bridge set started out . . . I almost got up the courage to kiss that girl at the Christmas party on that stage in . . . there’s the stage where Shatner told me, “I’d never let a kid come onto my bridge” . . . this street feels exactly the way it did when I worked here . . . here’s where my trailer used to be . . .
I stopped, and tears filled my eyes — tears of joy: It’s so good to be here, mingled with tears of sadness and regret: Why didn’t this happen years ago?
Because I wasn’t ready for it to happen. I walked a few more steps, and looked into the foyer that led into stages 8 and 9. Enterprise lives there now. At least they kept the stage in the family.

Okay. Back to work.

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155 thoughts on “the happiest days of our lives”

  1. Wil – great to hear that Just a Geek is so close! I’ll be sure to start pestering the local bookstore to get my copy.
    Any chance your book tour will bring you up to Ottawa/Montreal? It would be most excellent to thank you in person.
    Thomas.

  2. So last night, i was flipping through the digi cable and watched Toy Soldiers! Wow! Remember when Sean Astin had abs? I hope he can lose those 40 pounds he gained for Lord of the Rings. And Wil, is your ear still pierced?
    *A

  3. ohh, that O’Reily editor-man-thingy sounds just right as someone to work with you-he has the sarcasm, freedom to praise and the intelligence to recognize a ‘writer’ when he sees one…it’s so exciting

  4. I’m sure that you’re getting this from all directions, but I absolutely CANNOT WAIT to see “Just a Geek” in print. The snippets you’ve been posting here and there are only whetting my appetite.
    You’ve arrived as a Popular Author, Wil. I just hope you realize it. 🙂
    cheers,
    Phil

  5. I finished reading “Dancing Barefoot” a few nights ago and I’m now passing it around to my friends. They love it, I love it and I can’t wait to read “Just A Geek”. Keep up the good work Wil. 🙂

  6. I just read your wish list and I wanted to tell you:
    I’m only 29 but I’ve been rafting down the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon. It was a two week trip and very expensive but WELL WORTH IT. I highly recommend you take your family on this one – ya’ll will love it!

  7. first off:
    \m/ !
    OK.. it’s all been said in the comments, so I’ll just sum it up in … “yeah! What they said!”
    P.S. I love how everyone’s jumping all over your editor’s grammar. One guy, Jakob said “It is his job to NOT butcher english.”, while splitting his own infinitive! Something about glass houses comes to mind… hehe.
    Congrats. Will definitely pre-order it if given the chance.
    Tom

  9. To properly split an infinitive is one of the hallmarks of someone who is fully capable of using the language to completely convey his meaning.
    🙂
    (In other words: it’s not a real grammar rule, and no editor worth the title worries about split infinitives much.)

  10. Wow! This exciting tidbit coming out AT THE SAME TIME the SciFi Channel is promo’ing the heck out of the *premiere* of “Deep Core” or something to that effect – starring Wil Wheaton and the gal that used to be on DS9 and that show with the guy from Cheers!
    😉
    Who’dathunkkit?
    Congratulations!
    MO’B

  11. Depeche Mode has been my ‘rock’, so to speak, for ages. Their albums have taken me through a lot of experiences (both good and bad) in life. It was cool to see another fan..listening to one of my favorite albums, too, by the way! 🙂
    Sincerely,
    Janelle

  13. Fantastic.
    After reading your site so much, watching TNG reruns is never the same for me. They were rerunning “Parallels” the other night on Spike and I was kind of half watching it while working on something and instead of thinking “Oh yeah, Wesley’s in this episode” when I saw you on screen, I thought “Oh, yeah, Wil’s in this one”. I’ve never been much for being starstruck by actors, they’re all human, but I look at you so differently than I do the random actors I’ve met at conventions.
    Can’t wait to read the book! Congratulations on all of this.

  14. Dude! You rock! And we geocachers know it! 🙂
    So… when ya going to mention the geocache page which publicly honors your writing talent, eh? Hey, we didn’t put in all that work into “Dancing With A Barefoot Geek” for nuthin’! 🙂
    Just teasing ya. Seriously though, thanks for your part in helping make that whole thing happen. You do know how to help create postive memories for people, and we appreciate that. 🙂
    (Other folks: check out http://tinyurl.com/325xv for context on this.)

  15. Wil has literally busted his tail to get this done
    I hope your tail gets better.
    On a similar note, I wasn’t aware you HAD a tail!! I mean, you must, since you LITERALLY busted it.
    Great write up though. BA-ZING!!

  16. Joy! Just joy!
    Loved reading a letter FROM the editor, and a snippet of JAG.
    (from a newly-hooked WWdN addict, missing Wil’s blog posts!!)

  17. Update to earlier post: After I got off work, paycheck firmly in hand, I went to my favorite local independent bookstore to pick up a couple of books. Just for the heck of it, I stopped at the information counter and asked, “I’m looking for a book — it’s called Dancing Barefoot by Wil Wheaton.”
    The guy at the counter did not look at me like I was some weird alien creature. He punched a few keys on the computer, and said, “Well, looks like we’ve got one left.”
    I managed to restrain my shouts of joy, and said, “Where is it categorized?”
    “Let’s see, it’s under Essays…let’s take a look.”
    After a few minutes, we found it — it had been put back in the wrong place. (If anyone here has been at Kepler’s in Menlo Park and was trying to hide the last copy till you could get back with the cash, apologies.) I held it at the front counter while I quickly walked up the street to deposit the aforementioned paycheck and cash back enough for my purchase plus lunch.
    Read it during lunch, plan to read it many more times. And there’s a chance of rain in NoCal this weekend; wonder if the spouse would like to go for a walk… 🙂
    Kepler’s rawks. \m/
    And you definitely rawk, Wil — the book is definitely freakin’ awesome! \m/ \m/

  18. Wil,
    Indeed, you have superior taste in music. Oingo Boingo, Depeche Mode AND Squeeze UK. Ah, 1989. Senior year in college for me. Watching TNG, yadda, yadda, yadda.
    Always good to reminisce, huh? Take care!
    Ariel in the South Bay

  19. For tj,
    I miss Boingo badly, too! I spent many a Hallowe’en during college at Irvine Meadows.
    No one lives forever! 🙂
    Ariel

  20. Wow. Just…yeah wow. I can’t express how wonderful a writer I think you are, Wil. I know I’m going to enjoy reading JAG if that small peek was any indication.
    Have you ever watched show, really enjoyed it and seen one of the acotrs and thought, “that guy is gonna do great things”? Well, I did. Sure, I was like…5 years old in 1987, so it was probably more like, “Ooh, that guy that plays Wesley is really coooool,” but STILL!

  21. I don’t post comments very often, but I wanted to let you know that I think this piece of writing is phenomenal. I like your writing generally, but this… this gave me chills. That doesn’t very often for me–not with you, not with many authors. If this is representative of the quality of your whole book, then, jesus, I can’t wait to read it. Good freakin’ job.
    -Sarina

  23. sounds like I need this book.
    Very happy to see the works being penned and soon to be ready for the eyeballs! =P
    Thanks for taking out the time, energy and devotion.
    Best Always,
    RJ

  24. Don’t want to put a hex on the whole thing (and I pray to [insert favorite diety or other hallowed figure here] that I really don’t), but it’s gnawing at my brain, and I gotta say it…
    I smell Bestseller! \m/
    And to all the Oingo fans: Fret not, since former OB mainstay Danny Elfman does alot of movie scoring these days. His most recent work includes Big Fish, the theme for “Fable,” and will be scoring Spider-Man 2 and next year’s remake of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.”
    Always Quote Your Sources
    Too early to hit the bar for a Guinness… Will do so when I get there to run Karaoke tonight.

  25. Just came in from a visit to Neil Gaiman’s web journal. Apparently he’s going to Penguincon and realized you won’t be there — and is a bit disappointed because he wanted to meet you. Phwoar.
    I loved the excerpt you posted. What a wonderful piece of writing! I do hope that your books make it over to the Philippines — otherwise I’ll just have to start saving money to order them online somehow.
    Here’s wishing you all the best!

  26. This has nothing to do with Wil’s post but I thought you guys might find this interesting:
    Movie Captures Lives of Klingon Language Enthusiasts
    Source: PR Newswire
    DENVER/PRNewswire via COMTEX/ — The entertaining documentary EARTHLINGS: UGLY BAGS OF MOSTLY WATER captures the lives, passions and quirks of the members of the Klingon Language Institute during their annual qep’a’ (conference). Klingon is, of course, the warrior language invented by Linguist Marc Okrand for the Star Trek television show and movie franchise, including the feature Star Trek: The Search for Spock, among others. EARTHLINGS will make its international debut at the upcoming Cannes Film Market, May 12 – 23, 2004.
    “Language fascinates me,” says Dr. Lawrence Shoen, Director of the Klingon Language Institute (KLI). “By age five, we have learned a lot of our language, and it defines our humanity, forms our society, and helps to develop and transfer our technology.”
    Humanity and society are just two of the themes examined in EARTHLINGS. Director Alexandre O. Philippe artfully shows the interplay between culture and language, communication and emotion, and the rather delicate line between reality and fiction within a science fiction-like background of visual textures, lighting and images. Philippe’s Picture Show Earthlings is serious, comedic, intellectual and sad, as the various KLI members speak about what drew them into learning a constructed language.
    Among the many ‘ugly bags of mostly water’ (a term used to describe Terrans, humans on earth), the Picture Show introduces Rich Yampell (Captain Krankor), the musical composer for whom the Klingon national anthem, ‘taHaj wo’ (‘Long Live the Empire’) might turn out to be his only hit song, Dr. d’Armond Speers, a Denver-based linguist who spoke only Klingon to his son until age three-and-a-half, and Michael J. Oetting, a studious postal worker, who attends the 2003 qep’a’ to pass a language facility exam because, “It’s about acceptance. If I pass the test, it’s official — I am one of them.”
    EARTHLINGS Producer Steve Williams of SONEW productions insists that, “EARTHLINGS is not a TREKKIES imitator (the 1994 documentary of a Star Trek convention), but instead it’s an entertaining view of an intellectual (and sometimes not-so-intellectual) endeavor to sort out and to explore humans and language and the definitions of success and failure.”
    For more information about Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water, please visit http://www.earthlings-movie.com.
    Copyright (C) 2004 PR Newswire. All Rights Reserved.

  27. Nice article, Lawless1, but the Klingon community consist of nothing more than the worst society has to offer.
    I used to be a trekkie for many years. I wore the starfleet uniforms and endured every foul and negative ephithet(?) thrown my way. I endured the constant harassment and I’ve had my fill of live long and prospers to feed a third world country tenfold. I have been beaten mercilessly(this all happened in my teens and early twenties,mind you)and had my coveted starfleet uniform(at the time with ensign rank)ripped to shreds by some neophyte dipshit who just loved to pick on me. I even had my ass kicked in the parking lot for wearing said uniform to my high school prom(which I attended alone because trekkies just don’t get the chicks). I was convinced that had I adopted the ways of the Klingon and not the Federation life just might have been different. So, I ditched the starfleet uniform (burned it, more like it),purchased Marc Okrand’s Klingon dictionary and taught myself the language of a savage species so that I wouldn’t be messed with anymore. Well, take a wild guess if you think anything changed for the better.It just got worse.
    Flash forward to my first ever Trek convention. I was in full Klingon garb,feeling warrior like and ready to lash out. I run into 2 other Klingons and strike up a conversation in, what else,klingon. Before I know it, I’m given a drink by my esteemed comrades in battle and told to drink up. And I did because that’s what we Klingon’s do, right? Next thing I know, I black out and awake in the convention hall’s restroom only to find my costume around my ankles and one of the Klingon’s I drank with “feeling ” me up. I protest this and I’m told that this is an initiation ritual of sorts,that it’s common among the Klingon race especially when preparing for battle. I’m too drunk to fight them and I am taken advantage in a way that is inhumane and traumatizing.
    I have sworn off all things Trek. I cringe when I hear anything Trek related and I’m reminded of the harassment both in high school and at the Trek convention. Those people are weirdos and to think I wanted to be a part of them! I saw that Trekkies documentary and was apalled at how untruthful it was. I should have made my story known! Whenever I hear “taHaj who”, I’m reminded about the restroom incident because that’s what the Klingons sung as they humiliated me.
    Thanks for listening. I guess being a trekkie hasn’t completely worn off. Like a trekkie, I still want to embrace something I’m not and which doesn’t exist.

  29. So…I’m just minding my own business watching a little Stargate SG1 on Sci-fi channel just chilling after a hard week when an ad for an upcoming movie pops up. It looks a little cheesy, alright, darn near hoakey, but it looks familiar. Then it hits me. This is that movie Wil always gives a disclaimer to before mentioning, and then just to confirm my suscpicions, the announcer says “Starring Wil Wheaton and Terry Farrell…Deep Core.”
    Yes, that’s right. Wil Wheaton, top billing. Great way to top off a long week. And for those of you wondering, its on Saturday at 9pm EDT.

  30. I don’t think he busted his tail in a literal sense, but I’m quite sure he has in a literary sense.

  31. I had a dream where I was in a bookstore and picked up a copy of this book, not expecting much, and then I read a bunch of really cool chapter titles and bought it. This proves: a) I have boring dreams (no offense, Wil, but how many people dream about browsing in a bookstore?) and b) I spend too much time on this site (honest, I haven’t been here for almost a week).

  32. “This is Wil’s O’Reilly editor, piping in to let you know where Wil has been lately. As he mentioned a few days ago, I’ve been cracking the proverbial whip (well, let’s just say it’s proverbial, to protect the innocent), and figured I’d write something about “Just a Geek” while I’ve got him slaving over a keyboard.”
    …Signed Epstein’s Mother.

  34. Egads Clarence!!! As a female I NEVER drink anything that’s offered to me in situations like that. I hope you got yourself some help, you do realize that you did nothing wrong. As far as Trekkies go, I’ve been to a few conventions and always wanted to go in the TNG uniform but just didn’t have the figure for it. I did wear some of the jewelry tho…
    I’ve always wanted to learn Elvish. One of my best friends used to write notes to friends in class in dwarvish.
    Saturday at 9 pm *writes that down* I’ve never heard of Deep Core.

  35. heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy weeeeeeeeeeellllllll. I’m drun hee hee! See, seriousl this is where i am when im drank! I v just cum home and thoht of u! Hows the fmily ad stuff?! Dood, ur writing maks me wannacum here evry day man! The stories of u lif mak me feel feelings and everything. In my dranken state, I want to say than u!
    thank u!111!!!1!!!11!1

  36. Just makes you remember, going home again is a painful thing.
    Out of Curiousity though, Blood Angels, Space Marines (Any Chapter), Chaos, or what?

  38. the part about Wil and the whip….is it a big whip?….does it cause much pain?….a friend wishes to know….carry on your fine work….

  39. As someone who watched you grow up in movies (yeah, I’m old) I’d have to say that any mother would be proud to claim such a talented young man. Actor, writer, community care,…but as that mother, I would also have to say that for each wonderfully polished achievement in your life, you take a bit of the shine off when you use foul language. I won’t be listening to anymore of your audio blogs. I will, however, continue reading your site. I look forward to your book. And I’m happy to see your involvment in your community.

  40. So are all publishing agents as fake and condscending as Brett? Sheesh. Does he think we all have to be SOLD on your abilities and brilliance as a writer, Wil? Cos if he does, he’s clearly not understanding us, and he’s pissed me off TBH.
    We love your writing and your bit on this thread about returning to the “lot” was, as always, poignant and beautifully crafted. I can’t wait for JAG to come out!
    Go you. And tell Brett to get off the used car lot.
    PS … I agree with Leif … Christmas season isn’t that far away. Let us know when JAG is available for online purchase! And I’m TOTALLY with Andrea re WFS and what an ass he is. Before and after his “fan appreciation rebirth”. *gag*

  42. I take great exception to calling my editor a Used Car Salesman.
    As a matter of fact, I’m pretty fucking offended by that. I know Brett. I’ve worked very hard with Brett for many months on this and other books, and he is not effusive with praise, so it meant a LOT to me that he wrote what he did.
    He and I know that there’s a better than average chance that WWdN readers will want to pick up Just A Geek, so he doesn’t need to “sell” it to anyone. His comments made me feel good, and he said that I could share them with the rest of you. I’m sorry that the cynics can’t see that. Anyone who’s read this site for more than a few months should know that I’m not about “selling myself” to anyone.

  43. He looked up at me. “Oh my god. You are Wesley Crusher. You look so . . . “Washed up?”. . . grown up.”
    Okay, that sucks. When one meets a former child actor, what’s the proper way to address him or her to try to avoid that sucky feeling you describe?
    I used to work in television, Toronto area, so I know the pressures of the business and frequently met famous faces. Admittedly, I was technical crew (generally cameraman). Dealing with the Tom Cruises and the John Travoltas is pretty easy – no gawking or asking for autographs, treat ’em like a normal person, and get what they want.
    But you’ve just made me feel like I should be walking on eggshells when I meet people who are typecast or otherwise out of current favor. So, if I run into someone I like – either for their personal website (ie. you) or for their body of work (Jeremy Miller’s “Ben Seaver Scream” always cracked me up) – what can I do to try to minimize any of the trauma you apparently live with?
    Thanks, man. I’ll keep on reading. 🙂

  44. Sounds pretty cool but i’m a little confused. Am I to assume the thing about midget and the bucket of mustard is in one of the earlier chapeters? Because I distinctly remember being promised midgets and mustard. 🙂

  45. How to deal with meeting WIL WEATON? Hummmmmm?
    NO springing across a table to give him a headlock or dutchrub….i’m sure he’s long beyond that sort of childish amusment.
    I’d just come up to him,smiling like a drug-crazed chimp,say my name….say something like…”Wow,WIL WHEATON…I really like your work,man(be ready to name a few things,he’ll appreciate that)” Then have him sign any books,film boxes,body casts etc. you might be carrying. He’s a fine person is WIL WHEATON…I get NO MONEY for saying this….which doesn’t really make me happy….now,move along….THANX

  46. SOMEONE has had the umbrage(look it up) to criticize WIL WHEATON for his degree of MANLY LANGUAGE in his audioblog thingys. I shall now take valuable time from my efforts to have WIL WHEATON declared a living saint to respond…not that WIL WHEATON needs my defence.
    His language is the strong,MANLY language of a man-of-the-people.
    He left the monestary at a too tender age,signing up to work on shrimp boats off San Diego….and you MUST know how shrimpers talk…when that didn’t work out….he became a child actor…and everyone knows the way film lot teachers can swear….he came to such language as to MOTHERS MILK….I say…YOU GO WIL WHEATON…speak your mind….we who worship the gum wrappers in your garden will always be there for you….behind the big tree…I won’t move suddenly….you have dog…

  47. A few words in favour of the Klingon-speaking community: Klingon enthusiasts and Klingon language enthusiasts move in different spheres with only a few points of intersection. Carbonated beverages and chocolate are the drugs of choice at Klingon language events, and no one gets roughed up.
    And Wil, I admire you for, so long ago, playing your character so faithfully that many people could not distinguish between the terribly annoying Mary Sue character–who was not your fault–and you yourself.

  48. Jesus, Shatner WAS a huge tool, wasn’t he? You should have ripped that road kill off the top of his head and thrown it in the fountain near the Melrose gate.

  50. Based on this entry alone, I have decided to order Dancing Barefoot off of Amazon.com. I’ve been following Wil’s blog off and on for several years, but never felt compelled to check out his published writing until just now.
    I can’t wait to dig in.
    However it WILL have to wait until I finish reading Masters of Doom by David Kushner.

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