As much as I wanted to turn this page into “The WWdN Dance” for April Fools, complete with annoying song and stupid animated gifs, I just didn’t have time. Fark, Homestarrunner, and Think Geek all had great things up, though.
Instead of making hilarious pranks, I was working like crazy to finish up the current draft of Just A Geek so I can get it turned in on time. I’m 99% done, but I have to leave now to go be Aqualad (\m/), so I won’t finish it until tonight. I could have been done this morning, if I hadn’t taken some time off from Just A Geek yesterday, so I could write the foreword to the Knights Of The Dinner Table Tales From The Vault Volume One.
Er, but it turns out that, due to a ripple in the very fabric of space-time itself, the Vault issue was already shipped to the printer . . . so a with a little reworking here and there, and I transformed my foreword into an article!
I’ve been given permission to share a sneak peak with you, dear monkeys. Enjoy it . . . if you dare!
I checked the clock when I heard my wife pull into the driveway: 2:OOPM.
What the hell? She’s not supposed to be back for another two hours! Crap!
A minute later, she called from the front door, “Wil? Are you home?”
“Uh, yeah,” I called back, as I scrambled to straighten up my desk. “I’m working in my office.”
I heard her footsteps on the stairs, and I knew that I was boned. There were about forty polyhedral dice on my desk, scattered around piles of graph paper, rule books, and partially-painted lead miniatures when she walked into the room.
“Honey, I know this looks bad . . . but it’s not what it seems.”
“Not what it seems?” She picked up a handful of dice, “What’s this?!”
“That’s . . . ” I looked in her fist. “That’s 3d6, 1d12, and 2d20.”
She made this strange growling noise, and rolled — okay, threw — the dice onto the table. The d6’s landed close to my hand, and showed the Number of the Beast.
“Hey! You rolled a critical success!”
She was not amused. “When I left this morning, all I asked you to do was wash the dishes, and they’re exactly where I left them! I only asked you to do one thing and . . .” She gestured wildly around my office, which, despite its name, is really not a place where much work gets done. Where most offices would have a bookshelf with reference material, I have a bookshelf covered with Simpsons figures, Star Wars toys, and an Enterprise D that lights up.
“. . . and you’re in here playing GAMES?!” She was going to blow. I saw a week, maybe two, of uncomfortable nights on the couch. I spoke quickly, before she could explode.
“I’m not playing games, I swear! I’m working on and article for a book.”
“Is it called 10 Quick Steps to Blowing Off All Your Responsibilities So You Can Spend the Day Goofing Off With HackMaster?”
“No, it’s called Knights of the Dinner Table.” I said.
“What is that, some sort of cookbook for nerds?”
“No! It’s a comic strip about guys who play Role Playing Games.” I said.
“Yeah, nerds.”
The exciting, turgid conclusion, is coming soon to a Knights of the Dinner Table near you!
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\m/
First of all, ROCK! More Aqualad! A two-parter as well, you say? Even better! More Wil on my TV. Good deal. Teen Titans ish teh r0x0r – Add Wil, throw the goat, and proceed to headbang mercilessly…
And speaking of the goat: I noticed tonight that underscoring the m created a sort of “thumb” effect for the blog goat. Just something to consider. The extra effort for those really special goat throwing occasions…
…but something the WWdN comments won’t let me do. Striped the code out each time I previewed. Oh well. C’est la vie…
I feel for you.
Why couldn’t she call first? I know I always call if I’m going to come early. One day I decided to surprise my wife by coming home early…
The house was a total wreck! This from years of always coming home to a spotless house. Surprises are for babies and death row inmates. The rest of us need a little bit of notice first!
I know I spend a lot of time on my laptop writing code when I should be doing other things. My excuse? “Honey, I’ve got this train running through my head and if I don’t unload all of it it’s gonna stay there and I will not be able to think about anything else!”
Sometimes it works..
Love the creative writing bit, Wil, but…what happened on Homestarrunner on April 1st? I missed it!
I was randomly surfing and just found your site . . . it is lovely! What a warm-hearted, interesting, funny blog you have going here! So glad that you took that leap and started your first web-site. And as for being “hung-over” after conventions – yes – it is true. I do similar sort of work (holistic work speaking and connecting with people) and have a similar sort of energy that I approach it with (how important it is to you that you genuinely connect with every single person that approaches you) and the next day I feel hungover – that is what I have always called it. In seems to stem from a sort of ‘leaving myself’ to connect with other people more intensely, and if done for hours on end, is like being high (like with drinking) for a long period and then crashing (like a hangover). Oooo, a lot more info than I’d planned . . . 🙂 best wishes to you!
Wil – love the fact you dig Underworld. Could you write about WHY you do some time?
haha , that sounds like my house. Except its only funny when it happens to other people…ha ha.
I don’t know when it was that I learned to do my chores first, but I’ve generally tried to follow that rule. A happy wife is a good thing.
Of course, I say that, and I remember shirking responsibilities with Magic Online, IFC, and whatever else caught my eye this morning. Hey, I did the trash.
Isn’t 3 sixes a critical failure? (In GURPS)
🙂
Geekily yours,
Mike
I’m a bit slow, and out of the loop I’ve been busy with http://www.xanga.com/kclocalbands... and yeah, so I had time and came back to see what you’ve been upto and saw get up kids and I flipped! I love the get up kids, last time I got to see them we were all shoved in the basement in lawernce because of the tornado… talk about up close and personal with bands. lol, anyhow I’m rambling. sorry about that lol.
um, whats your opinion on pop/punk rock? just curious. welp I’ve actually got to go back to updating kclocalbands stuff so hope you had a wonderful weekend.
laters -ang-
Wow.
I finally know what \m/ means. Thanks Eric.
When will we get to read the rest of the story? I love the way you write.
The rest of the story will be in KODT #91.
Wil,
Damn good thing you weren’t on thehun.com with your pants around your ankles!! At least you have that buffer of a staircase to pull them up and hit “Home”. My computer is next to the front door and my wife is always forgetting things. I live oh so dangerously.
When is Anne going to learn that she’s married to Wil-fucking-Wheaton and you DON’T DO DISHES?!
from everything I’ve ever read, I thought only nipples could be turgid.