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misty morning

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As I write this, the house is silent, except for Ferris and Riley playing “tear the everlivingcrap out of what used to be a soccer ball” in the living room, while several varieties of finch and sparrow are singing songs in my mist-shrouded back yard. It’s cool in Pasadena — my ambient orb glows green. Nolan and Ryan are on the couch, reading books, and the smell of coffee and toast is wafting out of the kitchen behind me.
Man, it’s a peaceful, serene morning, and a great way to start out the last day of an incredible weekend.
Thanks to WWdN readers, Just A Geek climbed as high as number 21 on Amazon’s Top 100 this weekend. At one point, it was the third highest pre-order they carry, alongside books by Stephen King and Bill Clinton. Dancing Barefoot also climbed back up from the 9000s to number 208!
You know, two years ago, when I started writing what became these two books, I thought I’d be lucky to sell 1000 combined. I hoped that readers would enjoy them, but I was unsure . . . this is just amazing: Barefoot is rated 5 stars with 93 reviews, and the chief complaint is that it’s too short (I agree, but the idea all along was for it to be a companion to Geek), and Geek has already peaked higher on the charts than Barefoot ever did, and it’s not even released, yet.
But this incredible, and unexpected, book success isn’t even why the weekend has been so amazing. Actually, it pales in comparison to why I’ll treasure the memories of this weekend for the rest of my life . . .
Anne’s goofing off with a couple of her girlfriends who have birthdays this weekend, so I’ve sort of “taken point” with the kids, and it has been sublime, effortless, joyous . . . I have felt the way I’ve always hoped to feel with them: like we love and respect each other, and enjoy each other’s company.
For the last eight years I’ve done everything humanly possible to help build a loving and supportive relationship with them, while always respecting their emotional limits . . . even when it was incredibly painful to feel like I was more interested in closing the gap than they were. I don’t believe that it’s my place as their stepfather to try to be their buddy, or force closeness on them if they’re not ready for it, or interested in it. It has not always been easy, and sometimes the hardest thing I’ve experienced as a parent is setting aside what I want, when it conflicts with what the kids need. It’s been especially tough when my relationship with them, (and my role in their lives,) has been intentionally and actively undermined, but I’ve always stayed focused on what’s best for them, and it’s during times like these, when I see and feel the results of my parenting, that I know I’m doing the right thing.
Friday night we watched Miracle, which is that movie about the 1980 US Men’s Gold Medal hockey team. I remember when that happened in real life, and it was awesome to watch it with them, and share my personal historical perspective on the Iranian Hostage crisis, Jimmy Carter’s “We have to be able to dream” speech, and, of course, the Olympic games themselves.
When I was a teenager, I played ice hockey, as a goal tender, and I got to play in a few charity games with this celebrity hockey team. Several of the players on that team were from the 1980 men’s team, including Mike Eruzione and Jim Craig, and while I didn’t get to know them very well, they always treated me like a fellow player — especially Jim Craig — so I have always felt sort of a connection to those guys. It was great to see their story brought to life in such a great movie.
Hey, this is a good time to throw this line into the water: I know that the celebrity team still plays, and while I’m not really an “A” List celebrity right now, I still skate. If anyone from the team is reading this, or hears about this, I’d love to play with you guys again.
Ryan and Nolan loved the movie as much as I did, and I can enthusiastically recommend it to WWdN readers. Kurt Russell is fantastic as Herb Brooks, too. I’m hearing, “I’m proud to be an american, but I’m ashamed of my government” a LOT recently — a sentiment I wholeheartedly agree with — and “Miracle” reminded me of a time when I was younger, far more innocent (I was 8, after all) and those guys really were heroes to a generation. We could really use some more heroes right now, couldn’t we?
Yesterday, I did a virtual book signing in the afternoon (something so cool, it will have its own post later this week), then took the kids over to my brother-in-law’s so he could help Ryan with a geometry project. Ryan’s uncle is a brilliant architect, and a talented craftsman, and he helped Ryan build this art deco lamp out of several geometric shapes and solids. It’s awesome!
Nolan and I got to hang out with my niece and nephew while Ryan and his uncle worked, which was great. I hardly ever get to see my niece and nephew, and it was awesome to see how much they’ve both grown (in size and in emotional development) since the last time I saw them.
When we were done there, it was almost 8, and too late to cook, so the three of us went out to dinner at Chevy’s in Glendale. We were seated in the last booth on a wall of booths, behind a table of five teenage girls. Nolan was oblivious, but Ryan sat on the side facing them so he could “appreciate the view.”
The funniest moment of the meal was when one of them recognized me as That Guy From That Movie, — which is really weird because they probably weren’t even born when it came out — and all of them began signing “Stand By Me.”
Okay, look — I hate that. When I was a teenager, girls would see me and start singing that all the time, and it always made me feel like a sideshow freak. I used to like that song, but it follows me everywhere. I swear, 3 out of 5 times when I go shopping, it comes on the muzak. It’s on the oldies station on the radio all the time, and the Pennywise version was even on Fungus (XM 53) recently.
“Man, that follows you everywhere,” Ryan said.
“Yes, it’s haunting me,” I said.
“What following you?” Nolan asked, “The Stench?”
I have no idea where he got “The Stench”, or why he said it with capital letters, so I shook my fist at him and laughed.
“I’ll Stench you, mister.” I said.
Both of them looked at me.
“Yeah, I don’t know what it means, either. How about if I just embarrass you both in front of The Table of Hotties?” I took a deep breath, and struck a dramatic pose.
Ryan jumped like he’d been shocked with a cattle prod.
“No! It’s cool!” He looked across the table. “Nolan, Ixnay on the Enchstay!”
There was some serious giggling from us after that, enough to compete with a table filled with teenage girls . . . maybe I shouldn’t be proud of that after all. Heh.
We finished dinner (the spicy steak taco is where it’s at, yo) and made it home just after 10. Nolan was asleep as we pulled into the driveway, but insisted that he wasn’t tired, so he wrapped himself up in my geek blanket and sat on the floor while we watched Ghostbusters on TNT.
He was asleep before the first commercial, and I was asleep soon after. I woke up drooling on the arm of the couch right around the time dickless shut down the containment grid.
Ryan was still awake, so I let him watch the rest of the movie and went back to my room.
“Remember to turn the TV off,” I told him.
“Can I sleep out here?” He said.
“Yeah, that’s fine. But Riley will probably be licking your face at 7,”
“That’s okay. I love you, Wil.”
“I love you too, Ryan. Sleep well.”
“Remember this,” I thought, as I let my head settle down into my pillow.

* * *

It’s been over an hour now since I sat down to write this. The kids are playing catch outside, and Ferris is trying to convince Riley that she’s ready for a nap (Riley isn’t having it. Whenever Ferris lies in her bed, Riley walks in and paws at her face until Ferris either snarls at her, or gives in and comes out to play.) I’ve turned on iTunes, and I’m listening to “Morphic Fields” from the classic ambient record “Earth To Infinity.” My coffee is cooling, and it’s about time I got up, took a shower, and started the yard work I have planned for today.
It’s still a peaceful morning here, though, in my house, and in my soul.
Remember this.

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23 May, 2004 Wil

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111 thoughts on “misty morning”

  1. Jeanna says:
    23 May, 2004 at 12:24 pm

    I watched Ghostbusters last night too. What a great trip back in time.
    Glad to hear you had such a wonderful night.

  2. Caitlin says:
    23 May, 2004 at 12:27 pm

    Good times were definitely had by all.
    Two Thumbs.

  3. Kristen says:
    23 May, 2004 at 12:29 pm

    It’s great to hear about those moments of perfection in your life written down and shared with all of us. Thanks for reminding me that there are certainly moments everyone has that we all make a conscious effort to imprint into our memories.
    Also, I laughed my ass off at the image of you waking up drooling on the sofa to that particular moment in the film. Such a clear image in my mind. :^)

  4. Frunko says:
    23 May, 2004 at 12:30 pm

    Why do Americans always say “Ice Hockey”?? Or “Tuna Fish” I suppose in Canada we just assume Hockey is on ice, and tuna is fish.

  5. i8dbbq says:
    23 May, 2004 at 12:32 pm

    I read your blog just for posts like that. Thanks for sharing.

  6. Rain says:
    23 May, 2004 at 12:34 pm

    it brings a smile to my face to read of Will’s memories in the making, but it also causes me miss the quiet times with my own kids, when just being together was the sole defining moment of the day. the definition of bittersweet but at least it has a flavor, and a good one at that. 🙂

  7. Simon says:
    23 May, 2004 at 12:35 pm

    The thought of having kids sometimes scares the hell out of me. The parental role models I had as a kid were lacking, to say the least, and I often worry that I’ll be a shitty father, if only because I’ve never seen how to be a good one.
    Reading about you with your stepkids is a source of inspiration and joy for me, Wil: nobody ever taught you how to be a parent (or a stepparent), but you’re doing one hell of a job at both anyway. Seeing you excel makes me feel better about my own eventual journey into fatherhood: we’re all human, right?
    Thanks a lot, Wil.
    (P.S. What Would Will Wheaton Do? bracelets would say WWWWD? That’s a lot of W’s.)

  8. buntz says:
    23 May, 2004 at 12:39 pm

    You’re back on track Wil.
    These are the things I like to read about.
    I’m excited to read your blog again.
    Thanks

  9. Jamie says:
    23 May, 2004 at 12:49 pm

    hm…ive always tried to guess how old ryan n nolan are….but now im stumped….
    its great to see how good of a relationship u have w/ ur step-sons. ive always wished that i could have a good relationship with my father…
    ~*Jamie*~

  10. Angelwwolf says:
    23 May, 2004 at 12:56 pm

    Sounds so wonderful, Wil, but…”right around the time dickless shut down the containment grid.” Ok, that went over my head. What does that mean? Is that something to do with digital TV or a reference to a past event or something? Ah well…
    Beautiful day, Wil. 🙂

  11. Sarah says:
    23 May, 2004 at 1:00 pm

    hey wil… thats awesome…congrats on the success of your books… im ordering dancing barefoot very soon and i cant wait to read it…

  12. Roberta says:
    23 May, 2004 at 1:06 pm

    Angelwwolf: it’s from my absolute favorite part of Ghostbusters :
    Dan Ackroyd’s character: Everything was going just fine until Dickless [some guy trying to shut down the Ghostbusters] here shut down the containment grid.
    Mayor: Is this true?
    Bill Murray’s character: Yes, this is true; this man has no dick.
    Not so much the words, but the total deadpan Murray delivery…
    Okay, I digress. Great day, Wil; I’m having a relatively good day here too. Getting over viral bronchitis and feeling pretty croupy, so packed the spouse off with the in-laws to church. Bro-in-law is off playing soccer, so I’ve got the whole house to myself. Have one batch of laundry in the washer, another in the dryer, and a third sitting on the couch to be folded & put away. My Giants got rained out in San Juan, but other than that, it’s actually a pretty good day. I’m enjoying the silence (need to dig out my Depeche Mode CD to add that to my iTunes) and basically mellowing.
    Yes, life is good…

  13. eric says:
    23 May, 2004 at 1:07 pm

    Ah, the makings of a good weekend. I just had the same feelings myself. My wife and I walked out of the Hibernian pub where we sometimes go for lunch on Sundays and I just finished my first Guiness Draft. All I can say is that, “If this was the last day of my life, I would die a happy man.”

  14. edgar, or something says:
    23 May, 2004 at 1:12 pm

    SINGing. geez. it took me five full minutes to figure out they weren’t hearing-impaired 😉

  15. Jess says:
    23 May, 2004 at 1:24 pm

    Beautiful prose, as always…I always enjoy the entries that just give us a peek inside your life, the day to day stuff…..and kudos once again to the lovely relationship you maintain with the boys…..enjoy these moments, they are but fleeting, but so wonderful to muse over and over again

  16. patinhisrightmind says:
    23 May, 2004 at 1:30 pm

    Yeah, but –
    After Bill Murray says, “this man has no dick”, the “dickless” EPA man lunges for him and says, “I’ll kill you”, and Murray then says –
    “Well, that’s what I HEARD!”
    That’s the line that makes ME laugh.

  17. Dan says:
    23 May, 2004 at 1:54 pm

    Sounds like a lovely day indeed, Wil!
    As for The Stench… it may be a Terry Pratchett reference. There’s a beggar in the books, known as Foul Ole Ron, who is followed by The Stench. It’s so powerful that it has its own seat at the opera.
    (And if you don’t read Pratchett, I cannot suggest strongly enough that you pick up the Discworld books. You’d love them.
    On that note, Neil Gaiman posted in his blog that he’s going to have the introduction for your book done very very soon. I’m guessing you read his blog, but just in case…)

  18. Sarah says:
    23 May, 2004 at 1:59 pm

    Glad you had such a good day.
    And I’m glad at the success of Dancing Barefoot and Just A Geek.
    Good Luck!

  19. CIO says:
    23 May, 2004 at 2:22 pm

    Have I mentioned lately that you are the most inspiring person I have ever “known”? I mean, yeah, other people have had tougher lives or reached higher theoretical highs or lead nations or sold tens of millions of books of poetry–but none of them-not JFK, not Ginsberg, not Dylan, not nobody, has ever inspired me to want to do better in my own life minute to minute than you. Thank you.

  20. Delphine says:
    23 May, 2004 at 2:24 pm

    Those are great moments, aren’t they?
    The post made me smile.
    I caught part of Stand By Me on TV recently and giggled at the thought of “Where are they now?”
    “Wil Wheaton: Before the blog, before The Shirt.”

  21. SammyOfKate says:
    23 May, 2004 at 2:52 pm

    Wil,
    It sounds like you have done a great job with your kids, you should be proud! Good job with the books as well, I have barefoot, and I love it, your right it is way too short!
    Sammy

  22. Larry says:
    23 May, 2004 at 2:54 pm

    Excelllent post Wil, most parents dream of having days like that.
    Larry

  23. Artemis Jade Wetzel says:
    23 May, 2004 at 2:55 pm

    Wil,
    I remember watching that same game on tv, and how much I loved my country. I look back on that time with fond memories, and realize how much I miss them. I look forward to making new memories with my boys, as they get older. I relish the day I can look out the window and see my guys tossing the football around. I am very happy with being a mom, and I love when you share your memories, both old and new. You really are one hell of a guy Wil, and I hope that one day I can interview you for my magazine. Your top notch Wil!
    ~~One Die To Hack Them All~~

  24. Tim says:
    23 May, 2004 at 3:16 pm

    My step-father came into my life when i was about 12 or 13. Before that, it was my mother and I since I was about 7. In the past 14 years my step-dad has been in my life our relationship has gotten closer and drifted, much like the tide. I read this entry and think how lucky Nolan and Ryan are to have someone that is so devoted to being a part of their life. You’re a good man Charlie Brown!

  25. Freeman in Louisiana says:
    23 May, 2004 at 3:21 pm

    Wil,
    You shower BEFORE you do yardwork? And then shower again after? No wonder there’s a water shortage. Just kidding :). I enjoy so much your posts about your family life; thanks for sharing your life with us.
    Your website, wilwheaton.net, was published in the New Orleans Times-Picayune TV Focus (thanks to me); you should be getting lots more fans from the New Orleans area.
    Later,
    Freeman 🙂

  26. Anne says:
    23 May, 2004 at 4:16 pm

    It’s good to hear how much the boys are warming up to you, and how awesome they made your weekend thus far. I’m glad you had some bonding time with them, and I’m sure you’ll have many, many more.
    Congratulations on the bonus news about getting 3rd highest in popularity for JAG pre-orders. 🙂

  27. rach says:
    23 May, 2004 at 5:14 pm

    hey wil,
    that sounds like the perfect day! thank you so much for sharing these moments with us, as already mentioned many times, you really are an inspiration!
    thanks wil,
    take care
    rach

  28. Cat says:
    23 May, 2004 at 5:36 pm

    I read your blog just for posts like that, Wil. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your kids, and that’s awesome. It’s awesome that you try so hard with them, ya know? Wish my stepmother did that. =\
    Can’t wait for the book, doll!

  29. Spencer says:
    23 May, 2004 at 5:50 pm

    Maybe you and Kevin Bacon can start a support group for actors who are plagued by songs from movies they made years ago. If you think you have a rough time, you should hear some of his horror stories.

  30. chris says:
    23 May, 2004 at 5:53 pm

    Nice piece you’ve written.
    You and I disagree on just about everything political – I am proud to be an American and VERY proud of my government. It’s my hope that we receive 4 more years of this administration, though my belief is Kerry will win.
    However, you and I can agree to disagree on what we believe politically as that’s what helps make this country great.
    Good luck with the books.

  31. Brian says:
    23 May, 2004 at 6:32 pm

    Lollipop, lollipop…
    Oh sorry.
    I’ve never really understood why celebrities (no matter how current) get upset because people recognize them for something that they did in the past that really connected with people. Sure, I can understand why fame sucks in comparison to fortune, and fame gets bitter with age. But people DON’T know you or what all has happened to you. They “know” you from what they see on TV and the movies. (Unless they read WWDN.) So get over it already. Appreciate being appreciated. Be one with the Wes and the Gordie. And instead of seething, join them in the song.

  32. bluradish says:
    23 May, 2004 at 6:36 pm

    wow, will. just wow. to echo many of the other posts, most people who have children wish for days like that, and those of us who don’t can only hope that we’ll fare so well. entries like this one give me a tremendous amount of hope in people generally, relationships specifically, creativity, and other seemingly impossible to come-by goodness. i’m looking forward to hearing about the virtual signing, and am wondering, besides, whether or not you’ll be making an appearance at vroman’s? it seems like a crime for them to _not_ invite you. you’ve got _way_ more indie cred (and talent, and heart, imho) than dave eggers, and they hosted him 🙂 also, i’m all for the wwwwd bracelets…

  33. Nicci says:
    23 May, 2004 at 6:44 pm

    Wil, it’s posts like these that make me dream about meeting you someday, just to shake your hand. I hope I won’t geek out too much if it happens, but I hope I can shake your hand one day, just the same.

  34. Danielle says:
    23 May, 2004 at 7:27 pm

    Beautiful. I’m fehclemped.

  35. Greg says:
    23 May, 2004 at 7:41 pm

    Wil, your writing rocks. I look forward to the day that you publish a book of your “personal logs” (blogs? I am unsure as to what they are called…I am not ‘net savvy’ or ‘with it’ or cool….:) ) from the site. I enjoy reading your posts all the time and would love to see them all in one place, with some commentary by you and possibly others as well. Take care and God Bless. Hope to see you again one day soon (hopefully at a future Trek Expo in Tulsa, OK?)

  36. Fraize says:
    23 May, 2004 at 7:51 pm

    beautiful. remember this. normally when I hear (or read) sentiment like that, it seems so treakly sweet, I feel ill, but your honesty comes across in your writing wil. I’m really proud of you.

  37. Glen says:
    23 May, 2004 at 7:53 pm

    Great post, Wil
    I’ve seen some of the difficulties with step-parenting from the other side of the fence as a child. I think you do a great job. The boys obviously love you.
    I often feel inadequacy and self-doubt trying to communicate and be a proper parent to my own children; many of the difficulties you mention are actually difficulties just of being a parent, though obviously some of them are trickier

  38. Freeman in Louisiana says:
    23 May, 2004 at 8:06 pm

    Wil,
    I have another comment–I agree with Brian, “appreciate being appreciated.” When the girls were singing for you at Chevy’s you could have walked over to their table and told them how beautiful their singing was. It really would have made their day. Don’t hate the attention, relish it, absorb it–we all love you.
    Freeman 🙂

  39. Haystack says:
    23 May, 2004 at 8:18 pm

    I see the start of another story for another book. I’ve had a quiet Sunday myself. It rained all day today so I sat inside and watched movies while my cat purred on my lap.
    Remember this, Wil, when you wonder about what paths your life has taken. From reading your post, it sounds like your life is already complete.
    Thanks for sharing…I’m happy that I remembered to check your blog today. Guess what reminded me? I saw your face on the cover of the movie Stand By Me in a store. And did I start singing the Lollipop song? No, I thought, I need to read Wil’s blog. 🙂

  40. indigo says:
    23 May, 2004 at 8:24 pm

    i dont know you personally at all. i am 28 years old, and truthfully i have no idea if you are the same age as i, though i assume we are close. so i hope you do not think it patronizing of me to say what i just hafta type right now.
    i have been reading this page of yours for about 3 months now. maybe a bit longer, but not much. i was first struck by how much it made me smile. just huge-assed grins at these little snippets of life you have chosen to share. then i was surprised one day to find some of them actually succeeded in stronger emotions. i identified with them in a way i found unexpected. so, quite fascinated by this phenomenon of a real person behind the actor grin, i kept reading.
    and tonight, as i read this little view of your morning thoughts and perspective i was suddenly struck by an idea of what, in part, keeps me reading. its a sense of grounded reality and a desire to be a part of that. to find that in someone other than myself.
    but even more important, its a growing feeling of getting to watch someone completely admirable.
    you are a truly, imperfectly, and joyously good guy mr. wheaton. that is rare. and quite fabulous to see. i very much appreciate you.
    i just wished to share that.

  41. Jenifer says:
    23 May, 2004 at 8:42 pm

    I have visited to read the latest post a few times, but it was a “longer” post and life kept distracting me today. I’m glad I came back a third time to finish it. Lovely.

  42. sarah b. says:
    23 May, 2004 at 9:09 pm

    Dear Wil,
    I’m crying right now because I just read your post. Yesterday, I helped my brother and sister-in-law put their two kids (5 and 2) to bed. They are the cutest, smartest kids in the world and I know yours are, too. K & S are the closest things to children I’ll ever have (please don’t say adopt –I’m not well enough to take care of a child regardless of origin).
    I don’t want kids, at least I never did, but it is only in the last year I’ve seen first hand the true joy in raising new people. Reading your post and reading bedtime stories to the kids almost makes me want them (which is a feat, let me assure you).
    Thank you. I’m glad you know how precious it is.
    S

  43. wil says:
    23 May, 2004 at 9:35 pm

    I’m so happy that so many readers have gotten to share in this experience with me.
    Greg: That book you want to read? It’s coming out next month 🙂
    : I think you missed my point. Maybe I didn’t communicate it effectively. It’s not that I don’t appreciate being appreciated, at all. I’m pretty sure anyone who’s read this site for any length of time can attest to that. The singing of the song is just something that makes me uncomfortable, like someone pointing and staring, or something like that.
    Maybe that still doesn’t make sense. Maybe you have to live in my skin to understand the details.

  44. Nicci says:
    23 May, 2004 at 9:55 pm

    I understand completely. I’m not a star or anything really, but I’m a foreigner living in a “small” city in China. Everytime I walk down the street, people stare at me like I’m something special. I feel like I walk around naked, the way they stare! The most annoying thing for me, which is kinda fun but kinda not, is how the Chinese immediately assume that I have to be Russian because I’m short, have red hair and brown eyes. You see, all Americans are tall, blond haired and blue eyed, so I can’t possibly be that. (I’m very American though) I have to fight the urge every day to mouth off at people in Chinese that the world isn’t as cut and dry as they think it is. It’s quite an obstacle. I haven’t even experienced this being the only white person in a room full of African Americans, or the only white person in a Latin American neighborhood. Of course though, in the USA, we are blessed to know that the world has more colors and that one’s “race” (there’s really no such thing, if you ask me…..) won’t determine one’s appearance entirely. It’s just not that simple. Sure, it’s not a song that sets me off, but it’s a few phrases like “Russian” and “can she understand Chinese?” (both spoken in Chinese) that make me cringe every time I hear them.

  45. Dave says:
    23 May, 2004 at 10:22 pm

    Yes, it’s true. This man has no dick.
    Man I love that movie.

  46. Jenn says:
    23 May, 2004 at 11:05 pm

    Wil,
    Your next book should be about your experinces with your kids. I know they are your step kids, and even though you may not have supplied the sperm, they are still yours. Your best writing is about you and them, I can feel what you feel when you write about them. Hold these moments close, they are few and far between, and just love them Wil.

  47. Laura says:
    23 May, 2004 at 11:07 pm

    I saw Miracle in theaters and absolutely loved it. Being a huge hockey fanatic… growing up in Minnesota… and recognizing that it’s just the single greatest sport made it that much more amazing to watch. 😉 I’m glad you were able to share it with them. I was only 2 then… but, grew up knowing the incredible story.

  48. haiku adam says:
    23 May, 2004 at 11:46 pm

    Gordie’s breezy past…
    Neo-Wheaton memories…
    What a perfect post.

  49. Patty says:
    23 May, 2004 at 11:58 pm

    Awwwwwwwww. I seriously love this entry. I know this feeling of things being perfect and serene, but you are so bloody good at describing it.
    Congrats on your book and I’m happy for you that things go so well with the boys. 🙂

  50. Chris says:
    24 May, 2004 at 1:01 am

    Take a shower after yardwork . . . not before.

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it picks me up, puts me down

it picks me up, puts me down

I’ve been open and unashamed about my mental health struggles and triumphs, always willing to talk about my CPTSD, always willing to supportively listen when someone chooses to share their [...]

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