The Bear

ByWil

. . . and now The Balance to all the good news and joy that I’ve been floating in for the last few months:
My cat, Felix, who showed up in our garage about three years ago and never left, has kidney disease. We discovered it about a year ago, and he was in the very early stages of kidney failure. Our vet told us that it would significantly shorten his life, but if we gave him low-protein food and a subcutaneous IV every other day, we could slow the spread of the disease, and he’d probably be with us for another six years or so.
About a two weeks ago, Felix started acting strangely. He was more lethargic than normal, and he just didn’t want to eat (he hates the low-protein food), so we took him to the vet. She did blood work on him, and the lab said that his kidney failure is advancing much more rapidly than we thought. He could be in as much as 85% failure, and he’s in danger of developing anemia or a whole bunch of other scary diseases.
I took him back this morning, because the vet wants to keep him there with an IV for a few days, to flush out his little body. On Wednesday, we’re going to take him off the IV, and see if it’s flushed his body enough to toughen him up. Felix is a tough little guy, there’s no doubt about that. He’s so tough, we call him The Bear, because he’s feisty and affectionate . . . but if he can give you a chomp at any time, if you piss him off. You know how they say dogs have masters, but cats have staff? We are totally The Bear’s staff. He sticks around because he approves of us . . . and I like to think he loves us as much as we love him.
When I left the vet this morning, I was sobbing so violently, I had to pull over so I wasn’t a danger to myself and other drivers. I love my Felix bear so much, and I don’t want him to die. I’m not going to keep him alive with treatments if he’s suffering, just so I don’t have to say goodbye, but our vet told us that there’s a very good chance that he could bounce back after he gets out of the hospital, so I am doing my very best to focus on the positive chance for improvement, and remain hopeful.
It would mean a lot to me and my family if WWdN readers could spare a few moments and send some healing energy, or prayers, or magic monkey voodoo or whatever to The Bear while he’s trying to get better over the next few days.
Thanks. Hopefully, I’ll get back to normal blogging soon.
UPDATE: I just got back from the vet’s, where I was able to visit with The Bear for a few minutes.
He’s doing so much better, it’s a miracle. His eyes are bright, he purred like a Harley Davidson, and he had many things to say. most of them, I think, had to do with how much he doesn’t like the IV in his little paw.
I took his little fleece bed over to the vet, and she said that he can sleep in it, which is cool, because when he saw it, he jumped out of the tech’s arms and right into it. I could tell that he was happy to have something that smells like home, and his mom and dad.
Thank you, so much, to everyone who is keeping Felix in your thoughts and hearts. I know that the miracles of modern medicine have a lot to do with the improvement in his condition . . . but I also know that your thoughts are bending the space/time continuum to give him as good a chance as possible.

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315 Comments

  1. Good luck to you and your cat. One of my doggies just had her second friggin’ leg surgery; it’s a totally safe procedure but it scares the crap out of us every time.
    We feel for you.

  2. We’re calling it Magic Monkey Voodoo now? 🙂 I just got used to using “Mojo” in everyday conversation! Wil, here’s some Midwestern, Sunny Day, Magic Monkey Mojo Jojo Voodoo heading your way. Use it only for good… Not evil. A certain unelected president didn’t follow this simple plan, and look where it’s got him now!
    I can understand where you’re coming from. I’ve never handled pet loss well, and it’s the very reason why I haven’t had one since living on my own. My daughter would like a kitten or puppy now. We can’t have pets in our rented house, so it won’t be an issue until we have a home of own, but I’m not looking forward to the day that little critter shuffles off the mortal coil. I’ll be sobbing like you were, and just unable to deal. I hope my wife and daughter will be a lot stronger. Hang in there, Wil. Rejoice over Kris’ amazing rebound and hope for the best with Bear.
    Can we start calling you B.J. now?

  3. *sends as much mojo to Felix as she can muster*
    I’m so sorry, Wil. I’ve grown up with cats, we currently have five, and it’s always heartwenching when one gets sick.

  4. Oh Wil! I know exactly what you are going through. I had to put my cat Boo Boo down about 9 years ago. She had throat cancer and was pretty much starving to death. I remember arguing with the vet, trying to get him to work some kind of medical miracle to keep her alive and well but there was just nothing he could do. He was just as upset as I was because he had been treating her since she was a kitten. He allowed my sister and I to be in the room while he put her down and we held each other and just sobbed. Trust me when I tell you that when Bear’s time comes he will feel no pain at all.
    This was in November and by the time we got home it was dark. I carried Boo Boo’s body home with me so we could bury her in our own pet cemetery. After working a long day out in freezing temps my hubby (then my boyfriend) took her out and buried her in almost frozen earth. I knew right then I was going to marry him.
    Lots of prayers, healing mojo, whatever it takes to keep Bear around for a while longer. And a big hug for you too, Wil. Be strong and believe in yourself, that you’re doing the right thing.

  6. Hey there. I’m a veterinary nurse, so I’ve seen a lot of cats in chronic renal failure. Sometimes when they’re not doing well, spending a couple days on IV fluids is a great boost for their systems. It can sometimes dramatically lower their elevated kidney values and make them feel a lot better.
    Hill’s, Eukanuba, IVD and Waltham all make prescription diets for kitties with renal disease, so if Felix doesn’t like the one he’s on now, there are a few other choices he may like more. Ask your vet which ones they carry and maybe try one he hasn’t had before. I’ve found that a lot of kitties that think the Hill’s K/D diet tastes like crap will like of the others better.
    If you have any questions, I’d be glad to forward any information I can for you. The veterinarians I work with are wonderful, and have seen a lot of CRF kitties. Good luck to you, keep your chin up, and I’ll be thinking of you and Felix Bear and sending good vibes your way.
    ((((((((((((((Felix Bear and Wil)))))))))))))))

  8. Pets are a heartbreak waiting to happen. I know this–I’ve had a lot of heartbreaks, but also a lot of joy.
    Hopefully Felix will bounce back and be with you for many years, but if he doesn’t, remember that he had a good life with you and you guys had a good life with him. I (and all my pets) will be thinking good thoughts for Felix.

  9. Mucho Mojo to Felix Bear!
    Our animal friends are too wonderful to have any suffering. I hope he recovers and lives a long happy cat life.

  13. As chief of staff to my neighbours cat, I understand how these little creatures take up such a big place in our hearts. I hope your little creature gets well.

  14. Oh, Wil. I’m so very sorry. It’s remarkable how attached we get to our furry children, isn’t it? I’ve lost a couple to illness over the years, and still love and miss them.
    Sending warm thoughts…

  15. I know I’ll probably be lost in the shuffle here, with so many comments here already, but I had to share anyway.
    I used to have a cat named Junior, who was a rescued stray. He was a funny looking runty little guy with BIG eyes, but the sweetest most loving cat ever. He loved to play with water when we ran a bath or after a shower, and was really fun. We had him checked out when we first got him, while we were getting him shots and so on, and they found a heart murmur, which they warned might shorten his life quite a bit but he seemed fine at the time. He grew big and healthy for a while and was very happy with us. Then he started losing weight and drinking lots of water. We took him in and found out his kidneys were failing. They said it was probably brought on by his bad heart. It hit him hard and fast and he declined quickly. They told us that with as fast as it was happening, even if we tried surgery, it was unlikely to help much and with the bad heart, it probably wouldnt help his quality of life. We brought him home and tried to decide what to do. When it became clear that he was suffering and that nothing we did would help him, or really prolong his life much, we had to let him go and take him to be put to sleep. It was the hardest thing we’ve ever done. I didn’t think I could go through with it so I left it up to TH. He turned out to have even less strength for such a task than I did. He showed up at work with Junior crying his eyes out. I left work with him and we went together to say goodbye to our boy. He was a sweet boy and we loved him, and buried him out at the greenhouse where he could be surrounded by flowers.
    My case was very different and I feel hopeful that you will have a better outcome than we did, but even if not, I know that he will always be with you, just as Junior is still with us. We were lucky to know him for the short time he was with us, and we know he was a gift we just weren’t meant to keep.
    Me, and my other three cats, Donut, Spot and Squeak are all sending you mojo love light and healing energy. Good luck Felix!

  16. Oh.. ::prays for kittie:: My cat Moppet died a few weeks ago (on the 50th anniversary of the beatles on the ed sullivan show) and it was sad. Unexpected though, Mum found him frozen outside. It would much worse if I knew it was coming. But now he’s in kittie heaven and gets to see his friend Pooh, who died a few years ago. Oh and now I’m all sad.

  19. I’m so sorry to hear about that. My cat Phantom (as in ‘of the Opera.’ She had a little mask.) that I can’t remember EVER being without died…oh God, was it last year? about this time. It still feels like yesterday. My parents had her put to sleep while I was still at school. Many people don’t think people can be as close to their pets as they can get. I’m so sorry for your cat. I hope to God he perks up after the doctor is done, I really do. I’m not a heavily religious person, but I’ll pray.

  20. Wil, I feel bad for Felix, but don’t feel like this is some kind of “payback” for all the good stuff that’s been happening for you. You deserve all that!

  21. My cat had a growth on the outside corner of her mouth. I took her to the vet, they cut it off, stitched her up, and sent the growth to the lab. It came back testing posituve for cancer! This was in about 1993.
    She’s still around. Though the growth came back, it wasn’t cancer, the lab result was wrong. I asked another (much better) vet about it when I had her in for a checkup, and he just kind of wiped/pulled it off. It hurt her for a second, and there was a very tiny bit of blood (less than a drop.) Then she was fine and it healed in a few days and never came back.
    So there’s always hope, no matter what the vet says.

  22. My cat had a growth on the outside corner of her mouth. I took her to the vet, they cut it off, stitched her up, and sent the growth to the lab. It came back testing posituve for cancer! This was in about 1993.
    She’s still around. Though the growth came back, it wasn’t cancer, the lab result was wrong. I asked another (much better) vet about it when I had her in for a checkup, and he just kind of wiped/pulled it off. It hurt her for a second, and there was a very tiny bit of blood (less than a drop.) Then she was fine and it healed in a few days and never came back.
    So there’s always hope, no matter what the vet says.

  24. My cat Samantha also has CRF. I give her sub-q fluids every other day and since she would not eat the prescription food, I feed her Science Diet Sr. Turkey which is almost equally low in protein, and even more importantly, phosphorous.
    Many cats go through a “crash” like you describe and can rebound quite well.
    There are also many ways to handle anemia, low potassium or other symptoms.
    A great web site is:
    http://felinecrf.org
    And there are several Yahoo Groups dedicated to this topic that are VERY helpful and have lots of accompanying information files. Just search for feline CRF.
    Good luck.
    Elisa

  25. Microsoft is not the answer.
    Microsoft is the question.
    NO (or Linux) is the answer.
    (Taken from a .signature from someone from the UK, source unknown)
    I am sorry to learn of your loss. I hope this message helps you cope. GO FELIS!
    gdLdpl FsQOuTnuZt QxdNUc glopBhktIXgf ZcMOMHZM JePJdfU kPdUCX jrtx AJmZ ebbSggg LvBBXeRVnSlE JM pZhqkIOI ygKYJxkgVHLy ddFLmZzhEXxu jQRXbZZy

  26. Ok…. first of all, the long stories above are odd and not something I’m used to seeing here.I feel dirty.
    But Regarding Kitty, Wil, 7 years ago I was in the EXACT same spot, down to the pulling over to sob. The only thing I can offer besides mojo, which I send in spades, is try to get to a place mentally and spiritually where you can summon the courage to do whatever needs to be done……God forbid…And if it comes to that, it is THE hardest thing EVER for you to do and the easiest thing for him. Just know no matter what, you guys are awesome to him, and I believe they know they are loved greatly, and love greatly in return.

  27. Wil,
    First off, I hope there’s no difficulty in deleting the material from those complete sickos.
    Now, onto the actual subject. I’ve poured a libation to the goddess Diana for Felix. Best of luck. Accept the possibility, but don’t dwell on it. Recoveries happen all the time. When my cat was 10, we were told she would need daily injections to keep her alive. We didn’t want to put her through that; she’s not the kind of cat that could deal with that, so we figured 10 years was a good run and took her home.
    She’s 18 now.

  29. Oh, I’m so sorry you’re having to go through that, my cats are some of the most important beings in my life, and I’d hate to have to see them going through something like that. I promise to send all my Jedi-Catholic healing thoughts towards you and your kitty cat.
    ps – What in Eru’s name is going on here? Was that porn I just scrolled through?!? Dude, the comments section on WWdN is not the place to post your amature slash fic!

  30. I feel for you Wil. I have had many pets, and i loved them so much. And i we had the money to help them medically we would have. You should be lucky to be able to care for your pets during there health crisis. My prayers are with you and your family.
    On a side comment, i recall the part of your book when you and dad went to your aunts house after she died, and all the feelings and memories that went through you. I’m going thru the same thing. My Mother passsed away on April 13th. Ive been staying in the house since she passed. Every nite i think of her. I ride 9.5 miles on my bike to see her each week. Its so hard to beleive that shes gone. Two of my bros, my sis and my dad and I started sorting thru stuff in the house. When we got to her bedroom we started to sort, and then all of a sudden tons of memories started coming thru. And then we went thru her closet, and we started going thru her clothes. More memories started with each blouse and pant that we took out of her closet. Each item we pulled out we held it and smelled our mamma. We found stuff that we did not know she had kept for us. In the end we were reinforced by the knowledge that our mom was a remarkable women, wife, mother and grandmother.
    In closing God bless you and your family at this time.

  32. Let’s see if I can wedge this in-between all the “lovely” porn ( some peoples children…).
    I recently lost my cat Sydney to similar issues, so I know exactly what you’re going through. I desperately hope that you have a better outcome. Syd was one of my best friends and deciding it “was time” was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to decide.
    So, I’m sending much mojo your way! Please pass it on to Felix!!!! And don’t let the ^(#$#ing pornsters drive you mad!

  33. oooh – good vibes to felix. i almost lost one of bunnies a couple of years ago. they’ve never identified what was wrong with her, but she occasionally has scary relapses. it’s amazing how those little fuzzy creates can bring out so much love in us… i’m thinking of felix and hoping he feels better soon. hang in there.

  34. OK I want to send mojo out to Wil’s cat.. I know pets can become an important and vibrant part of ones family! I hope everything works out for the best whatever that may be..
    On another note.. Whoever the jerk was that posted all the porn (especially the kiddie porn) needs a lesson taught to him.. One thing I know about Wil is that he is nice to everyone who comes here and is nice with him.. I hope thost individuals can find something better to do with their time!
    Jason

  35. First of all, know that my prayers are with The Bear, and you and your family over the next few days. Have Hope and Courage. There are a lot of us out here thinking about you guys tonight. Your not alone. You

  36. I will send some distance Reiki healing your way. We have four cats (and I’ve had a helluva host of many other animals as pets) and I understand completely your pain.
    And I’m also sorry for the bone heads that like to post naughty crap (not the place and time for that!!!) to your blog! EEEEEK.

  40. Wil,
    For you, Anne, the kids, and Da’ Bear…here is a prayer comming your way. I hope he is well soon.
    My best, Matt.

  42. I lost the best friend I’ve ever had on September 3, 2002. His name was Sam and about a month prior be became ill with a brain tumor.
    I understand exactly how you feel and I truly wish you all the strength in the world. You and Felix are in my heart and my thoughts.
    All the best,
    Shaun

  43. Great news Wil! Here’s hoping the treatment works and he can come home soon. My aunt’s cat lived to be 18 years old. Even more Kitty Mojo going Felix’s way! (Sorry I got his name wrong in my last post).

  45. All good healing mojo to Felix, and loads of sympathy and understanding for you and your family. Guinea pigs are my pet of choice, and I have yet to truly get over the death of one. Actually, I just start crying at the computer whenever I write one of these notes. Big huggy pets to all of you!

  46. Its great to hear that Felix is doing better. Most good pet owners have had to deal with heartwrenching decisions about their pet’s health, and it never gets easier. But on the plus side, cats are amazingly resiliant, and they seem to know how to fight serious ailments when they need to. Our cat, ‘Boo, was almost starved to death when we found her as a 4 week old kitten, and now she’s perfectly healthy and happy. I’m sure your kitty will make a speedy recovery. Best wishes… I’ll be sending happy thoughts your way.

  47. I hope The Bear does well.
    I adore cats, and three years ago, my cat, Yngwie Johann Malmsteen (yes named after the guitarist), died of liver failure, when I left him temporarily with friends, when I moved to the US.
    I miss my cat dearly, and it breaks my heart when I hear about cats going through pain.
    My best wishes go out to you, my friend.

  49. I know what you are going through, Wil. In 1998, before we were married, my wife lost her best furry friend, Emily, to cancer. She immortalized their friendship on a website that, sadly, no longer exists.
    An archive copy is at:
    http://www.tubbytabbygifts.com/emily/emily.html
    I can’t remember the number of hits the site got, but it touched a cord with several people, the hundreds that signed the guestbook, which is, sadly gone, left messages of similar sorrows. Furry friends are family, and losing one, or seeing one suffer, hurts no less.
    Major mojo heading your way from us and the furry kids.

  50. Jinx, Waffles, Lucky, Shadow, Jethro, and Lucy send furrybutt mojo to Felix the bear kitty.
    Waffles wanted to send a hairball and a slightly mangled rodent along for the rest of your family, but I had to convince her that it just wouldn’t be as well received as she might think.
    Hugs to all, especially the furbaby.

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