Every other Wednesday night is D&D night at my friend Cal’s, but I couldn’t go tonight . . . I wanted — no, that’s not right. I needed — to stay home and be a dad.
. . . isn’t that cool? A few years ago, I would have really agonized about not being able to go play, and I probably would have ended up going, anyway . . . but I came to a realization when I was out running today: all I want in this world is to be a husband and a father. Everything I do, the writing, the acting, the voice overs . . . all of that is just a means to an end, so I can come home, and enjoy my family. It’s a big change from a few years ago, when I was myopically preoccupied with trying to Prove To Everyone That Quitting Star Trek Wasn’t A Mistake.
Writing in my blog, and then Dancing Barefoot, and Just A Geek helped me find perspective in my life, and though it took a few years, I’ve finally realized what’s important to me, and why.
I still love creating, but when I audition, I’m doing it for me now. I’m out there, doing my best because it makes me happy, and if my best ends up being the best, and that happens to land me a job, then that’s even better. If it doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of my life: I have a wife and stepkids to come home to, who I absolutely adore. And when the creative bug bites, happiness is just a keyboard away.
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You really are a very cool man, Wil. Just reading your post makes me a little sad since I have no children of my own to be a role model for.
I’m glad you have found peace and happiness in your life. It is quite a change from the tone of your posts that date back to when this site first opened. Keep on keepin’ on.
Kind of a side – note and deep in comments, but I’m a geek runner too (and a dad by the way). Anyway, you’re better read than I am but just in case you’ve never checked it out “The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner” is so very worth reading. Probably you already have- but if not- I’m guessing you would really like it. It is also a movie but I’ve never seen it so I can’t comment on that. It is also a song by Iron Maiden. Came out on what I think of as one of the ‘later’ albums- but still in the good ol’ 80s. While I’m here- not to be too fan boy- but love the blog and your writing style. It has helped you which is cool and it’s helped other people too. You probably will never know all the ways. (which is probably good- don’t want that zaphod sized ego) Take care.
Congratulations!
Realising when you’re honestly happy with what you’ve achieved makes for not only a content Wil but produces your best work is a fantastic achievement.
Keep focusing on your own happiness Wil, the rest will fall into place.
Bos.
Congratulations Wil my man, you now officially have a life! Having a life is like owning a car, or having a DSL line in your house. After you have it for a while you find yourself wondering ‘How the heck did I ever get by without this?’ And you never go back. And you’re all the better for it…
For West Memphis Three:
The comment section for this entry was not up and I just saw this today.
I thought I would post a quick comment on case. Feel free to remove it if it’s not in the appropriate place.
There is a new lie detector that has been developed that is suppose to be 100% accurate. It measures brainwave recognition. There is no way to get around it since your brain either recognizes something, or it doesnt.
MERMER (memory and encoding related multifacited electroencephlographic response) shows if a person recognizes a victim, a crime scene and a murder weapon. It aready has freed one man accused of murder from death row.
Here is a web site:
http://searchsecurity.techtarget.com/sDefinition/0,,sid14_gci779704,00.html
for futher infor, google: MERMER+lie detectors
Deb
Hi Wil,
WOW! That’s a real epiphany! I’ve been reading your blog since September 2003, and I keep reading it because it shows what a wonderful human being you are. Your family is very lucky to have you.
Bye for now,
library_lady61
Wil, I really do envy you. Thanks for being able to be so transparent with the readers. My friend asked me what I was reading online the other day and I think I said “My friend Wil’s Blog” LoL.
Wil, that was heartwarming. More fathers should appreciate their families, as you do. And that’s all I got to say about that.
Hey, our group plays D&D every other Wed night too. Must be something about Wed because that seems to be a popular day for it – midweek so that people have a decent chance of making it.
Awesome! I have to agree with you, working is just a means to an end, so that we can come home, and enjoy our families. 🙂 It’s a wonderful feeling! I know.
I think I’ve been going through comment withdrawal…
Glad you’ve got your priorities straight…some of us take longer than others.
Told the spouse you’re going to be on WPT HHG (I know, old news), and he thought it was totally cool. What charity are you playing for? I figure probably Leukemia & Lymphoma Society due to Kris (hope she’s still doing awesome!), but if you need a good charity, you can check out this one if you’re interested.
Okay, it’s summertime so no homework, and the book’s at the publishers…so it’s time you got back to important business and get that campaign going for the boys…
I wonder if my husband feels the same way as Wil does becase he never hangs out with the guys anymore. I recently asked him why he never goes by his friends anymore and he said he would rather stay home with us. My husband is not a wonderfully verbal man and I like to think that Wil is expressing what a lot of husbands may feel but can’t say.
Wil,
*sniff* *sniff*
Wow. Thank you for that.
wil,
thanks for letting us eavesdrop on your life. you’re one hell of a guy. \m/ you rock!
#1: \m/ on getting the comments back…I missed ’em, too, probably more than I should let on…
#2: I know how you feel…the most fulfilling parts of my day are being at home with my husband and our three cats, just being a family. Your post made me smile…heck, I’m still smiling!
Just don’t miss too many D&D sessions, or your character gets NPCed by one of your “pals”, and they use him to set off all the traps, soak up all the arrows, and when he finally goes below -10 HP, they swipe all his magic goodies. MWA HAHAHAAHAHAH!
Hey Wil, I’m just wondering why you always seem to refer to your kids as “stepkids”? I understand that’s what they are, but I dunno…I guess I feel as if it’s like saying, “this is my adopted son,” when really, why not just tell people it’s your son and leave it at that? Why the need for specifics?
I miss RIFTS.
People ask all the time about Ryan and Nolan, and why I refer to them as “my stepkids.”
I adore them, and there is no difference in my mind between “stepkids” and “kids.”
While I have chosen to not make it an issue, other adults in their lives have, and I don’t claim them as “my kids” out of respect to them.
Because I love them, and it’s not about me.
Wil,
Yes. Exactly. A job is what you do to make a living. It’s not who you are. When you’re at home with your family, that’s what you live for.
There’s nothing better than parenting. There’s also nothing harder. Sounds like you’re doing a good job in the step-dad role, and that’s an extremely difficult thing to do well.
Good job.
No worries Wil,
You do what you do out of love and respect for who they are not because you need to make a “distinction”. Trust me us stepkids understand.
Rock, Rock on!
I’m just getting started in this crazy town and let me tell you, having family to come home to is the most wonderful feeling. “My Support Group,” as I call them, is essential for my success and sanity.
What’s really funny is when I look at my calendar and see that I’ve scheduled the quality time in with “The Group” when things begin to get busy.
Wil — Meant no offense by the question. Was just wondering. Take care.
Your love for your family is inspiring. As for the “kids/stepkids” semantic argument, no one who has read your blog can question the fantastic relationship you have with the boys, nor the mutual love and respect you have for each other. You have done a wonderful job parenting them, and actions speak louder than words. Perspective? My step-mother (of 12 years) refers to me as “Bob’s daughter” – an all-too accurate representation of her feelings toward me.
I hope you had a great time on Father’s Day, and I’m so happy for you. It’s great when you know what you really want in life, and what’s really important to you. I can tell how much you love your family, and that rocks. 🙂
Family means everything. If I had nothing else, but my family, I would still have “everything”
(((hugs)))
http://www.panta-loons.boydism.net/forum/index.php
Just got out of Fahrenheit 911 (r4wk5), went to Michael Moore’s site, saw mention of Stupid White Men, and remembered seeing it recommended in… oh yeah, I wonder how WWDN is getting along! It’s been a loooong time since I visited the mighty WWDN, a healthy 9ish months?
This drop sample was a little disappointing. I never minded the self-promotion with the goings-on, and it still delivers on that trademark voyueristic high.
But the rest has gone super sappy.
This post was sweet, but sweet like a chocolate sundae with sugar coated chocolate bombs, topped with processed sugar and a light sprinkling of candy on top, with a side of insulin for the instant onset of adult diabetes.
Dude.
I’m not buying it. Huge fan o’ kids, and I’m totally down with the whole nurturing exercise. Lotta fun, rewarding, the love & growth of wee ones, etc.
But your reply to the one seemingly negative comment was the tip-off that your life has not yet become a Hallmark greeting card and with any luck…
Come on.
A little affirmation is cool and 70+ comments of affirmation is way cool and assuming that’s a 10:1 ratio of silent:loud peeps, then hundreds of affirmations is Way Hella +5 Frostband Cool with a hot chick engraved on the blade.
You obviously do give at least un petit poo what people think of you. If all these creative things were just for you, you’d just do ’em, not do ’em and talk about them to gazillions of people at the expense of your opportunities to be creative by landing roles by inspiring confidence in the paranoid that your lips are zipperly.
Right?
I so don’t blame you. Quite the opposite. Helps me identify. You went through serious scaries as a committed young actor who found himself in a infamously grusome role and the target of metric assloads of unwarranted ire. It resembles altogether too closely my lifelong battle with my own self-esteem, the relentless attempts of the little inner voices to give me shit I so don’t need.
And as a new identification bonus, I just got back a DVD of my first bit part in an indie flick. As I watched it in slack-jawed horror, what came out of my mouth was something like the sound of orgasm, as heard through the ripped out gurgling throat of the undead. Shocked at this clear evidence of my fear of photons that were there whether or not a camera was sniffing them, I forced myself to show it to a single friend, point blank, and I don’t think I’ve convulsed and squirmed so hard in my life. If I had my druthers, this unforgiving documentary of a poor performance would go with me to an early grave. But if I hope to grow, I had better get back on the horse and try showing it to two friends.
I don’t know what that reaction is, but it’s some kind of boundary condition in my head where everything goes way, way non-linear, and you’ve been through that writ large. Whole new levels of respect. I realize now I had no clue, no idea at all.
I utterly remember wincing in sympathetic pain every time Ensign C graced that blasphemer’s production, the performance squished out of every actor but particularly the actor that pwned on Stand by Me, and were I in his shoes, after getting a usenet group named after my recurring role’s forced-march lameness, I’d retreat to the nearest couch, go fetal, and take my food in liquid form through a nose hose, praying for a wicked case of Alzheimer’s.
Or, assuming I somehow mustered your powerful mental trooper kung fu, I’d still grow up pretty, pretty, prettyyyyyyyy needful of appreciation to make up for whatever the conventional traumatic equivalent is, severe childhood beatings about the breast, chest, neck and head?
Fess up.
Your creativity is not just for you. You want to please. Fan lovins is good lovins.
I think that’s such an important lesson for people to learn in life…or at least me. That you don’t need validation from everyone to be happy, whole and accepted as you are. You don’t need to be a big moviestar or a New York Times Best Seller List author (although admittedly that’d be kick-ass). You can be cool just the way you are.
That’s something I’ve learned from my good friend Missy, and you.
So thanks. 🙂
Thought you’d like to hear about my husband’s recent gaming experience over in Iraq.
I bought him a sweet laptop a couple months ago.
My husband has gone through the same thing emotionally, wanting to center his life around me. Originally he wanted to be a career Army officer, but after a while apart he came to the realization I was more important to him than military (something he’d wanted to do his whole life). When we found out how soon he’d be going to Iraq, he decided to do the minimum before getting out, rather than going to Officer Candidate School and having his contract extended in the least bit. He turned 29 this week.
Family is the most important thing there is, one thing this experience has taught me. I’m glad you’ve made that realization. Many guys never do.
D&D?! Haha, you ARE a geek ;p
I also had the “what is *really* important to me” epiphany smack me upside the head one day a few years back.
So few people realize that if you find what is important to you, the rest either falls in line or fades away. And, in any form of media, the life can be sucked out of you at an alarming pace. I’m glad to see you thriving, Mr. Wheaton.
And, the happiness you have found most certainly shines through in your writing.
Your Rock Wil, you’r always my favorite character on star trek and you were hilarious in the weakest link episode stay cool
Great post. I agree with ya all the way – Janet Dental Insurance