Every other Wednesday night is D&D night at my friend Cal’s, but I couldn’t go tonight . . . I wanted — no, that’s not right. I needed — to stay home and be a dad.
. . . isn’t that cool? A few years ago, I would have really agonized about not being able to go play, and I probably would have ended up going, anyway . . . but I came to a realization when I was out running today: all I want in this world is to be a husband and a father. Everything I do, the writing, the acting, the voice overs . . . all of that is just a means to an end, so I can come home, and enjoy my family. It’s a big change from a few years ago, when I was myopically preoccupied with trying to Prove To Everyone That Quitting Star Trek Wasn’t A Mistake.
Writing in my blog, and then Dancing Barefoot, and Just A Geek helped me find perspective in my life, and though it took a few years, I’ve finally realized what’s important to me, and why.
I still love creating, but when I audition, I’m doing it for me now. I’m out there, doing my best because it makes me happy, and if my best ends up being the best, and that happens to land me a job, then that’s even better. If it doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of my life: I have a wife and stepkids to come home to, who I absolutely adore. And when the creative bug bites, happiness is just a keyboard away.
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Glad the community is back online. Congrats on fixing it. And congrats on all of your other victories lately. I feel much better about myself and my own seemingly small victories when I read about yours which are no less significant to you than mine are to me. You make me see how cool it is to be happy with what I have.
You rock. Keep it up.
geo
That really was beautiful, Wil. Not only is hearing about you being happy with yourself wonderful, but it helps us (well, me anyway) find perspective within my own life and enjoy it. Thanks.
wow! a first comment! prolly since no one knows they’re back.
\m/
That was a very nice blog Mr. Cleaver. The shirt looks very dapper today…did you press it? How is Mrs. Cleaver today? She looked very nice last time I saw her. Are Wally and the Beave around?
good for you Wil. Congrats.
Finding true love and happiness is never easy, but once you find and take hold it is a beautiful thing, just like your title says. Never let that go!
I’m also glad the comments are back. Don’t let a few losers spoil it for all the rest of us.
Ryan and Nolan are totally lucky to have you, as I’m sure they know.
Rockin!
Year 3 into my software engineering job I kinda came to the same conclusion. I work there to pay the mortgage and spend time doing things I would rather do. If I *enjoy* my job, it’s a bonus!
Yay…comments are back.
Wil…we’re patiently waiting for your first science fiction novel that will re-vitalize the genre and become a famous film directed by Stephen Spielberg.
We’re all very happy for you.
Glad commenting is back.
As now a long time reader, I’m glad to see the progress that you’ve made in your life. You may not even realize it, but you’re one of the true success stories, even if it’s taken you a while to get there. Why is that? Because you’ve found inside you what makes -you- happy.. and you’ve realized that you need to do things for you and your family. Many people -never- figure that out. 🙂
Keep it up. Please keep on blogging. I’ll keep on reading. 🙂
Congratulations man, I envy you so much.
Thanks for your posts. You make me think. Also, it’s gratifying that you are using this as a way to do good in a small, personal yet effective way rather than in a huge public self aggrandising way.
[holy run-on sentences, Batman!. But I’m just sayin’]
Wil,
I always enjoy reading about your family. Its wonderful to know that you love, being a father and husband. I am so happy for you…..
Funny how priorities change so much over time. I think it is wonderful that you chose to spend some time with your family.
I am also glad to see the comments back up and running.. can’t wait to see you on the World Poker Tour.. sheesh how cool is that? Are your feet touching the ground?
Wil, I know you probably hear it a lot, but I think it frequently when I read your blog: you’re giving wonderful gifts to your children. I aspire to be a father like you when I eventually get some chitlins of my own. Nice job.
Yay Wil, sounds like you’ve found your perspicacity, or whatever it was that Lisa Simpson lost. No, wait.
Well, at the risk of sounding like I’m taking a page from a Frank Capra script, you found (well, you’ve probably known for a while, but anyway…) what’s really important to you. Either this is the moment where Rod Sterling steps out from behind a tree, or it’s the moment that you realize that nothing is better than hang out and value with Anne and the guyzos.
Personally, I’m putting my money on the second one.
Glad we’ve got the community back, as many others have said already. \m/
Glad to see the comments section back. I am glad that you have seen the good in your life. It really helps you when that happens.
When you love your life it shows in other ways. Good things happen to good people. You are good people.
Beth Rose Pizana
Yay comments!!!
That was gorgeous, and I am glad you found peace of mind Wil. Writing is healing and self-discovery,and it sounds like you have found what you’ve been looking for! 🙂
Weds. night must be the universal D&D night. It was at our house tonight, so I had to take the kidlets and get my geek on in some other way. I love gaming, I do. But D&D is just not my cup of tea. I end up fireballing my own party constantly.
Anyway, I know the feeling. It’s nice to not have to impress people anymore and just worry about the things that really matter, which is just your family. Too many men and women don’t realize it and too many kids grow up in shitty homes because of it. Your kids are lucky to have you as a dad. Keep up the great work 🙂
Maybe you shouldn’t refer to them as “stepkids”, even if they are. If you act like a father around them, then perhaps you should refer to them simply as your kids, whether or not that’s the legal definition.
Calling them stepkids seems as though you expect more kudos. These aren’t my real kids, but look at what I’m doing. I’m even more wonderful.
Just thoughts. The word “stepkid” annoys me.
mdsh… He used to do just that until the “biological father” caused them a great deal of legal trouble over him referring to them as his kids.
I assure you.. he loves them as his own, anyone who has read his blog can see that.
🙂
Yes! Comments have returned! So much to say, so little space. Hope the Marathon went well! Bet you were sore after that experience, weren’t you…
But the pain comes with a great benefit, of course!
Glad to see “I Am Hubby/Stepfather” has taken over for “I’m Not Wesley.” That’s where your best entries really come from, your interaction with Anne and the boys. Family = good stories = more book material = writing career for Uncle Wil! Not to mention everything you get from your family anyway. Pretty good job to have, I’d say…
Hey Wil,
It’s good to see the comments back up! Reading your post struck a chord with me. It’s hard to keep things in perspective and in balance and too often it seems that we either let WORK become the end all and be all or conversely, family. Good for you that you have found a palace of balance between different in your life and that you clearly see where your priorities are.
Cheers! Sara
Gah! I meant a PLACE of balance. : )
Sara
Great to have the comments back, and Wil, great to see you are enjoying life and have found happiness. I hope we can all have that one day
>I’ve finally realized what’s important to me, and why.
You’ll probably find, if you haven’t already, that you’ll continue to realize what’s important to you as you age (not like once you realize it, it stays that way), because the focus of life changes, again and again, often without our realizing it. I think it is those times when life’s focus has shifted, and we have not shifted with in, that we find our inner selves in doubt, dispair, or chaos. In realizing what’s important to us, we realign ourselves with that focus.
Sorry if I just sounded like someone’s dad. I’m actually close to your age.
Hey Wil~
It is nice to see that there is a regular acting family in Hollywood. Iam just buying my first house and in the past few months a lot of growing up on my part has been done. As I start fixing the house I am sure more will happen.
Keep on Keepin on…..
Richard
Ahhh Wil… I love seeing you in anything because you are a delight. I’m happy to see a ‘celeb’ blogging. Sure there are more out there, but too much on my plate to notice.
Yes… the wife and kids ARE important. YOU and what YOU want, are as well. My mother died on the 9th, and at 33, I’m just NOW realizing just what is important to me and for me.
Good luck with everything that you do.
Isn’t it amazing how kids change your life? I only have one and I have no idea how my life was before him. I don’t know whatI’d do without him.
I’m so happy you’re happy……:D
Look at it this way: being a (step)dad just means you’re the GM for awhile.
How’s that scenario you’re working up for them coming?
You know, you could always use MNPR:RPG. . . I sent you a copy. 🙂
CU
I came to this same realisation not too terribly long ago, and it has made all of the difference.
Your family was already fortunate to have you, and now they have more of you.
This is a Perfect Thing.
You know Wil the more I read your blog the more I look at myself and say “damn why can I not be that smart?” I won’t bore everyone with all the details except to say some things at work right now are not going well. I spent most of yesterday depressed actually and was starting to dred going in today. I read your entry and now I am kicking myself for letting it get to me like I did. So much for ” I want to be like Mike” cause I want to be more like Wil! Thanks for reminding us all about the important things.
Am wondering…
What happened with the doors and windows project for the house?
The meditation back garden work?
And the all important A/C installation?
Woot!! on doing an EQ2 voice, am a fan of the game, so will look to see if I can recognize you.
Sony’s lawyer to earn their keep harrassing you over a third party error – bunk!
Centered on family – I am thinking there is an adult inside there, Wil, lol. ’bout time, eh?
That’s beautiful. Well said.
I think you’ve hit on what so many people have lost (even non-actors). If you love what you’re doing, and you’re doing it for you (not just to make money, or prove you’re cooler than Wesley), you are working for the right reasons. So many people work their 40-hour weeks just to get the check on Friday when it’s all over. Check out “The Culture Industry” by Adorno. He talks about this same thing and how America is driven by money instead of creating something beautiful and satisfying. It’s pretty interesting how relevant this book can be even almost sixty years after it was written.
Good for you and the family with regards to the way you feel about your family.
Further kudos for starting to run. Enjoy it.
Betrayer!
How can you leave your party behind when they are trying to fend off the evil orcs!
I love to spend time with my family too, but coming together once a week with my friends to play D&D is something I can’t miss….and whoever misses the game is a BETRAYER!!!
Hooray for comments!!
I hope this doesn’t sound weird, but I wish you were my dad, Wil….eventhough that would be absolutely impossible time wise and genetically, but whatever. That’s just so awesome.
Well said Wil. I’ve also come to that realization recently (though it took a kick in the pants to do so). I find that I’m happier now not spending hours on end in front of a computer screen playing MMORPG’s. After all, my day job is spending hours in front of a computer screen hacking out software.
BTW, the MooHarpist sends congrats on the marathon. and says “About time you caught up to me!”
You know what most parents know and are compelled towards. It’s all about the kids! People who don’t have children (step or not) can’t really comprehend the depth of feeling that goes with this. I knew it was there on an intellectual level before I had kids, but I never really *knew* how deep it went, how strong it was. It’s your greatest source of fear and strength. It’s the most powerful force in the universe.
Help!
I remember hearing an audblog from July 14, 2003, where Wil said that his whole life just changed, absolutely for the better, but he couldn’t tell us now. I have looked all over the site (a “Search” feature would be nice, Wil) and I can’t for the life of me figure out what changed? Maybe it wasn’t as big of a deal, or it was too personal? Either way I would like to know, this has been killing me for a couple months now.
Anyone know?
Wow. That was inspiring. I don’t have kids yet, and I’ve always been afraid that when you have kids, you lose your own personality. Thanks to you, this blog, and others I’ve met online, I realize that having kids doesn’t change who you are. It makes you…you, with kids. ^_^ I won’t have to stop watching science fiction & being a geek & reading manga & painting my toenails green & wearing 40 bracelets on one arm. I’ll just have kids who’ll wanna do it, too.
Thanks for sharing. Seriously. Keep it up.
*tear drops*…sniff…sniff – I think our boy is all growed up.
You so ‘get it’ Wil, what really matters and where true happiness lies. It’s a good thing.
Much continued happiness
Wil,
So glad to have the comments back… I missed them! I’m so very happy to see you are happy and that you have come to the realization that family is everything.
Wil,
Glad you figured out what’s REALLY important. I figured it out a couple of years ago and it’s made all the difference.
Paul,
I believe he had just gotten the call from O’Reiley offering him the three book deal.
Craig
yay, comments. cos for ages I’ve wanted to say that the American Doormat Rant in the audioblog is fab:)
THIS is why I come to your site. Your politics don’t mesh with mine, and just when I get sick of reading political commentary (and swear I’m never coming back) you write an entry like this and it makes it worth while. Anne and the boys are very, very lucky to have you in their lives as I’m sure you feel the lucky to have them in your life.
Yay on getting the comments back, I keep forgetting to visit the Soap Box. My bad.
Wil, the more I’m here the more I know…You Know.
It’s good to know there are other kindred spirits in this world. You inspire, act on your values, and you do what’s right. I send my best wishes to you and your family. You all are very fortunate. Congratulations and Thanks!
Wil, the more I’m here, the more I know,You Know.
It’s good to know there are other kindred spirits in this world. You inspire, act on your values, and you do what’s right. I send my best wishes to you and your family. You all are very fortunate. Congratulations and Thanks!
It sounds like you’ve really got your priorities straight. I was a little worried when you mentioned that you were still working up the D&D campaign for Ryan and Nolan. I really wanted to comment when you later were bragging about the boys and said you were a “gamer” dad instead of a “toolbench” dad. This is meant to be friendly advise, not mean-spirited, but it sounds like the boys are missing out on the advantage of having a gamer dad. Don’t let this opportunity slip by; get those dice out and use them for Good!