Viva Las Vegas — part three

Note: Part two is here.

I sat down at the table which was closest to me, which was . . . well, it would be cool if it was nineteen, since I’ve been reading Song of Susannah, but I’m pretty sure it was fifteen.
“Would you like me to get you some chips?” My helpful new friend asked.
“That’d be great,” I said, and handed him some cash as I sat down in Seat One of table fifteen.
“Two hundred behind,” he said to the dealer as he walked back to the cashier.
“Would you like to play this hand?” the dealer said.
I would be in the small blind, not exactly where I’d like to start. “I’ll wait for the button.”
The dealer mixed the cards around, and I noticed that the felt was the freshest, cleanest, and nicest upon which I’ve ever played. It’s one of those details that I never would have noticed before I thought of myself as a Capital-“W” Writer, and I’m glad I noticed it.
“No matter what happens during this session, I have a cool image to record and put down. I like that.”
The dealer finished mixing the cards, shuffled them up, and dealt them out to my new enemies. Er, opponents, I mean. Yeah, opponents:
Seat Two: Smells like booze, is drinking a margarita. Can’t be older than 22, wears the Moneymaker cap and sunglasses.
Seat Three: Older man, wrinkles up his face like he’s constantly smelling something pungent. Seems to be hanging on in not-so-quiet desperation.
Seat Four: Moneymaker’s friend, who is the obligatory drunk guy. I think they’re in town for a bachelor party.
Seat Five: Mr. Not-So-Ironic-Trucker Hat. Based on the stained mustache, heavily lined face, and greyish skin, this guy will be getting up to smoke more often than I’m opening hands.
Seat Six: Late 50s, wears a collared shirt with a Ralph Marlin Cubs novelty tie, and keeps telling his foot-tapping, watch-checking wife “Just one more hand.” Wears a watch with Sammy Sosa on it. I think I’ll call him Chicago.
Seat Seven: Sir Not Sitting At This Table. A nice stack of chips, though.
Seat Eight: The Tokyo Hipster. His Rocker Mullet has “Super Gangster!” written all over it.
Tom returns with my chips. I thank him, and tip him five bucks. I don’t know if it’s too much, or not enough, but he takes it with a smile, and wishes me luck.
I look at rags for several hands, and even though I’m not involved, I watch the other players carefully. When I played on WPT’s Hollywood Home Game, I asked Daniel for some advice that would help my game, based on what he saw. He told me to watch for betting patterns, because most low-limit players don’t know enough to mix it up . . . so that’s what I do. They all pay to see the flop, but they check when a scare card falls. Each time someone bets, he’s either holding an ace, or paired his hand. The strange thing is, just about everyone is a calling station. It’s not quite the no-fold’em games I’m used to at Commerce, but just about everyone plays to fifth street without regard to pot odds.
“This is a loose-passive game, and I’m going to have to choose my starting cards carefully, and play the best tight-aggressive game I’ve ever played if I expect to leave here ahead.”
When I finally do open, I’m two seats ahead of the button. My first peek shows a nice bullet: the Ace of Hearts. My second peek shows me an positively beautiful bullet: the Ace of Clubs.
It’s the first time I’ve ever seen Rockets when there’s real money on the line. A rush shoots through my veins and ripples out across my skin. I can feel my scalp tighten up as goose bumps form down my arms and legs. I hope nobody notices the flush I can feel burning up my chest and face.
I hear Obi-Wan Kenobi’s voice in my head, slightly louder than the Catherine Wheel song playing on my iPod: “You raise for two reasons, Luke — I mean, Wil: to get more money in the pot, and to drive out drawing hands. Don’t slowplay aces in a low-limit game.”
“Raise,” I say, stacking out chips with a hand so steady it surprises even me.
“Six to play,” the dealer says.
Moneymaker calls, Pungent Nose calls, Drunk Guy calls . . . holy shit, it’s called all the way around!
“This is either very, very good, or very, very bad. Either way, this rules!”
“Trust your feelings, Wil.” Obi-Wan says.

There’s an Ace on the flop, and I raise it again. This time the only callers are Moneymaker and Trucker Hat.
The turn is a blank, and there’s no flush or straight draw on the board. Could I have these guys drawing dead? Only one way to find out . . .

“Bet,” I say.
Moneymaker folds, and asks nobody in particular to send him a cocktail waitress. Trucker Hat calls. I put him on a big ace, or maybe a couple of cowboys. Either way, I’m still in the lead.

The river is a seven. I think for a second about check-raising, but when I scan my mental library of poker advice, I can’t find an entry that says that’s the right thing to do, so I bet it again. I can’t wait to flip up my aces, but I keep my chin planted firmly on top of my right hand while my let hand shuffles some chips. The cocktail waitress comes by, and Moneymaker orders another margarita. I look up and ask for a bottle of water, and when I look back down, the dealer is pushing the pot my way.
“What?! He went all the way to the end and didn’t call?!” I can’t believe it, but I don’t show my cards. I don’t even look up. I just stack my chips and flip two bucks to the dealer. He thanks me and shuffles the cards.
“Did you have it?” Moneymaker says.
I have waited my whole life to give my reply: “I don’t remember,” I say, with a shrug.
He laughs, and says, “Nice hand, man. Nice hand.”
“Thanks,” I say.
The cards come out, and I’m under the gun. I peek at my cards and see two red jacks.
“Two massive hands right in a row? I think The Mirage is my favorite casino on the planet!”
I try to do this thing where I frown, but I act lke I’m trying not to frown. It’s probably not worth the effort, but it’s fun, you know? I push my chips out: “Bet.”
Moneymaker can’t wait to push his checks in. Pungent calls, so does Drunk Guy. Trucker Hat sighs, frowns at me, and calls. “That’s a tell; he’s got something. Is it better than my Johnnies?”
Chicago calls, and shoots a look at his wife, who has stepped out past the rail to smoke. “Does he have a hand, or is he just sweating her? Okay, he’s more focused on her than he is on any of us. Sweet.”
Not-Sitting at this table must have come back while I was stacking the cargo American Airlines delivered, and I get a look at him while he studies his cards: Young guy with really big hair, almost Richard Marx if he was blonde. Wears a ring on his index finger that looks like a pyramid, and seems to be trying to put on an “I’m so bored” face. He foppishly calls. “Wait. Is that possible? Can anyone ‘foppishly call’ in poker?” I look up at him again. He’s pushing out his lower lip into a full-on pout. I imagine his voice sounds strikingly similar to Siegfried or Roy, and realize that he’s totally got Siegfried and Roy hair, right here in the Mirage. He calls, Hipster calls, and we’ve got eight-way action again.
The flop comes Qh-6h-9c.
Hipster checks. I bet. If someone’s got a queen and they raise me, I’m throwing this hand away.
Moneymaker calls, Pungent and Drunk Guy fold, and it comes to Trucker Hat. He glowers at me. I leave my hand on my chin, just like my hero Howard Lederer, and lose myself in “Black Metallic.” He folds. Chicago folds, Foppish folds, and Hipster calls.
“Three players,” says the dealer.
The turn is the three of diamonds. The dealer holds out his left hand like he’s going to do a karate chop, and says, “Check or bet, sir.”
“Check,” I say. As soon as the word leaves my mouth, I’m certain I’ve just made a mistake. “Okay, if I get called, I can raise, and I’ll tell myself that I intended to check-raise all along.”
Moneymaker checks. Hipster bets. “Shit.” I think about mucking it, but something tells me he doesn’t have me beat.
“Raise,” I say. Moneymaker folds before I put my chips out.
Hipster asks for time, and looks at his cards.
While he thinks, I look at the pot and try to estimate the size: eight calls on my first bet is forty-eight, plus another –”
“I call you!” He says. Trucker hat nods at him and says, “Good call.”
The river is the eight of spades. I look down at the board: Qh-6h-9c-3d-8s
Hipster checks to me again. I search my feelings for the trap, but it’s just not there. I am nervous about that queen, but I recall something I read in the back of Lou Krieger’s book: “Be selective, but be aggressive!”
“There’s no way I’m buying this pot, so if I bet, I have to hope to get called. Am I confident enough in my cards to make another bet? This could be a huge mistake . . . dammit! Why can’t I pause this game and read through my books?”
“Luke, trust me . . . “
“Bet.” I say.
This time, he speaks to the dealer. “I call him again!”
“Show ’em,” The dealer says, and I flip up my boys.
Hipster turns over the Ace of hearts and the six of clubs.
“They’re all Tourists, Wil . . . “
I look up for Tom, spot him across the room, and send him a mental fruit basket, which is not nearly as . . . fruity . . . as it sounds.
Tomorrow: Part Four

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83 thoughts on “Viva Las Vegas — part three”

  1. Nice two rounds you had there! I still can’t force myself to bet a pocket pair when there’s an overcard on the board – mostly because I play low limit where most of the table calls and someone almost always has at least a single Queen, King, or Ace.
    Looking forward to part four, of course. Also am enjoying your latest book which just arrived from Amazon today.

  2. Wil-
    Your poker stories are far and away my favorite among your blogs. Anytime you’re in CT and would like to be the guest of honor in our humble monthly tourney, drop me a line. The felt may not be brand new, but the $50’s are…nom’sayin?
    -Dave

  3. Wil, SO awesome! Almost makes me want to get back into playing poker again… Of course, that would mean pulling myself away from Burnout 3, which just ain’t happenin anytime soon, fella. 🙂

  5. It’s like I’m learning all about Poker from you.
    Well, no it doesn’t. Rivers and Flops still evade me, all I know is what I saw on Maverick (turn over a hand full of aces then shoot someone in the chest).
    Great reads, though.

  8. I love the internal dialogue! Personally, I hear Yoda when I play. Mind you, it’s penny poker … maybe Ben only helps those who play for real money.

  9. Something’s missing in the action on the turn, Wil. You checked, Moneymaker folds (presumably free to check, but hey, they’re tourists), and then Hipster.. calls? And then you call? Who bet?
    Fun read anyway, though. Thanks!

  10. Hey Wil, when you write your book, are you going to have some poker terminoligy (poker 101) or at least a good glossery? Cuz, i’ll buy it!
    great reading!

  11. I just wanted to comment that I don’t play poker… I haven’t a clue the difference between a flop and a flush…
    But reading this story and the one from the odessa, despite not understanding a word of the terminology, I understand the sentiment and the descriptive words surrounding the terminology, and know exactly whats going on.
    One of the signs of a great writer is to be able to take a situation entirely alien to the reader, and making them feel like they are a part of it.
    Thank you. And keep up the great writing.
    ~Katrina

  12. You’re right, Joe. I messed that up. I check, Moneymaker checks, Hipster bets, I raise, Moneymaker folds, Hipster calls.
    I’ll edit that right now, and blame the mistake on Peet’s coffee.

  13. Ah, got it — nothing’s missing, just one word wrong. Hipster opened the betting, rather than calling on the turn.
    Sounds like you played this one pretty well, Wil. And I’m not surprised to hear that you ran into someone who would call flopped bottom pair all the way down, but it sure is fun, eh?
    By the way, it’s sometimes easier, when computing pot odds, to count bets rather than dollars — eight calls on your first bet is sixteen small bets, or eight big bets, etc. That way you end up being able to say the pot’s laying you 10.5:1 at the point where you decided to check-raise (10.5:2, I guess, given what you decided to do). I’m not sure what you were counting as your outs, though — any jack falls on the river, and someone chasing a gutshot could’ve made their straight.
    Don’t think I would’ve played it much differently, ‘cept probably to bet out the turn — which likely would’ve cost me three big bets. Nicely done!

  14. I have waited my whole life to give my reply: “I don’t remember,” I say, with a shrug.
    Awesome! Keep it coming.
    You’re going to end up a serial novelist!

  15. Cool article – I love reading good poker stories. But the second hand you describe (the Qh-6h-9c one) doesn’t make sense. You call, the second guy folds (?), the third guy calls (?), then you raise. I think you missed a bet in there somewhere.
    Keep ’em coming, these stories are great.

  16. Whoops, should have refreshed before commenting. Thanks for the edit, I’m with you on the hand now. I’m glad you had such a good experience at the Mirage. It was my favorite place to play while I was there. I felt like I could play tight for days without rebuying.

  17. Okay, this story’s probably going to end one of two ways:
    (a) Wil cleans out the table, or:
    (b) Wil loses a close one, forgets himself and the calm advice of Obi-Wan, goes on tilt, and winds up busting out himself.
    Either way, it’s going to be a good story!
    And no, Aaron, I don’t think this is going to be one of those situations where “A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.” 🙂

  18. I can definitely see a poker novel coming out by you, Wil… You describe the action so vividly it makes me want to fly to Vegas or call people for poker night at my house…
    Keep up the fab work and I can’t wait to read part 4!

  19. Wil, I’ve never played poker in my life, but I understand the game thanks to you. But what I really wanted to say was that I admire your writing. I hope I can be as good as you are one day. You make me want to be a writer, too.

  20. you did such a great job describing that you made me sweat in anticipation; and i don’t even PLAY cards other then blackjack and hearts (in fact, i don’t even know the rules of poker).
    Excellent writing though – your stuff is usually a high point of my day.

  22. Wil-
    This has been a fantastic read – can’t wait for the next installment. I’ve watched enough Celebrity Poker Showdown to understand the terms, if not the percentages, so it’s been fun. Your writing skills actually had my heart racing a little bit as you described the second hand. Well done!

  24. The Suspense oh the suspense….I’m still on the edge of my seat. Great story Wil even though I have no clue about poker. One day I’m sure I must learn it.

  25. Ah thats awesome. You had me sucked in.. couldn’t stop reading til I finished.. but well worth the read. keep it coming wil. Not sure I would have stayed in on that last hand.. I could see a straight coming out to bite you in the arse.. but that rocks that you won.

  28. I have to say, I love the way you describe the first two hands of your poker game. I can visualize the hands being played easily. Can’t wait to read part 4 of the tale.

  30. OK the poker blogs have just become my favorite part of this blog. The shear excitement and anticipation I fell when reading Viva Las Vegas is due to your writing skills. Keep up the good work.
    I look forward to tomorrow’s read.
    Chris B of NC

  31. Love rockets… when they hold up. I’m glad they did for you. Seeing an Ace on the flop with that hand is one of the best feelings.
    With the jacks, that hand is a little more tricky. Some top players call Jacks, especially in limit, a small pocket pair (they would only consider A’s and K’s a big pocket pair… and perhaps Q’s). The check on the turn was probably a mistake, but at least you made up for it with the raise and may have earned a little more money out of it. With just one overcard on the board, the J’s are a pretty good hand. Normally, you’d be worried about someone holding J-T with that flop, especially with the 8 potentially filling the straight, but you had two of those jacks already, so you were pretty safe.

  33. This was too cool. I found my me holding my breath as you dramatically laid out each hand..giggling nervously at every Obi-Wan reference…and then letting out a laugh of relief at the end of each.
    Dude, you rock. You could write watching paint dry facinating.

  34. How appropriate for “Black Metallic” to be playing during that hand. I don’t know if you know this, Wil, but that song’s about being able to easily read someone who thinks they’ve a hidden and mysterious aura to them – Calling their bluff, & seeing more of their actions than they want you to, so to speak.
    CW rules! \m/

  35. Holy cow! Way to play it, Uncle Willie! Kind of ironic, really, for me to read about that second hand. Just last night after work, I had three-way action and pocket Jacks similar to yours, and played the hand almost exactly the way you did. The flop showed me a third jack and no other face cards, so I took it to the moon and went all-in. Pay-off like a mo-fo!
    Can’t wait for more, Wil! Good stuff!

  39. Great storytelling!! Wil – this is your next book! Maybe coauthor with one of the Poker greats and then tell stories that show how to use the advice. ‘Practical Poker’ or some such. After reading ‘Dancing Barefoot’ and ‘Just a Geek’ and then all the poker stories here, I’d buy it in a heartbeat.

  43. Hey Wil, this has nothing to do with your post, as much as I enjoyed it.
    This is a link:
    http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/09/29/earlyshow/living/main646273.shtml
    at CBS’ website regarding a former Iraqi hostage that is reporting that the Iraqi Police force is in cahoots with the “insurgents” responsible for beheading hostages. This is the same police force that will be responsible for proving “security” during the January elections in Iraq.
    It use to bother me how against Bush you are (not that I am so pro Bush) I can’t stand either. But man, this is getting rediculous. Anyhoo, thought you might want this info.

  44. LOVE the poker stories. You need to publish them collectively, it would be awesome.
    PS- we miss you at the Box! Its just not the same! (especially in ‘Teh BAC!)

  45. OK. This is a very exciting story. As a new (2 weeks) hold’em player, I wondered if that feeling I feel when I play is felt by vets. It would seem as though it is. 😉

  46. Just something I picked up on that may shed some light on hand #2. I’m betting that Hipster interpretted your saying “I don’t remember” as “no” (ie. you bluffed.) He was counting on the fact that you were bluffing again on the next hand. That would explain why he went the distance with a pair of sixes. Sound feasible?

  47. “I can definitely see a poker novel coming out by you, Wil… You describe the action so vividly it makes me want to fly to Vegas or call people for poker night at my house…”
    My thoughts exactly. Would love to see the Wil Wheaton poker novel someday…

  48. Although I don’t know a lot of the poker terms, despite watching a lot of Celebrity Poker (ha), the excitement and anticipation just comes thru all of the “poker jargon”. That’s the fun part, I may not know exactly what’s happening, but I find it a great read anyway. I love the way you describe the action and how you convey your inner dialog.

  49. ..Nothing to do with Poker…
    Wil-
    You may want to pick up the October issue of Vanity Fair… In it, a writer interviewed the law clerks of the Supreme Court Justices after the botched 2000 Presidential Election. The law clerks may have swayed the votes of the Justices…
    Thought you might be interested…

  50. AAAAAA!! Wil, maybe your next writing project should be a pilot? You totally rule with the episodic cliffhanger!
    I know Nothing about poker and I am so caught up in this story. I can’t wait for the next installment. 🙂

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