look up to the skies and see

Posted on By Wil

Well, I never had time to write up the ApacheCon report . . . because I got a call late last night to audition for Alias at noon today.
Holy shit. Alias!
So I spent all last night, and most of this morning, preparing for the audition. I just got back from a fantastic What’s My Line? performance, and since I need to “unwind” right now, I’ll tell you all about my audition while it’s still in my mind.
In Just A Geek, I wrote about how there are a ton of factors that I can’t control when I go to an audition, and how important it is to work on the few factors that I can control. I love Alias almost as much as I love Jennifer Garner, so I ensured that everything I could control was absolutely perfect. The material was extremely well-written, so learning it was super easy. I made bold and clear character choices, and — most importantly — I decided that I was going to enjoy the opportunity to audition for one of the greatest shows on television.
The character was described as “early 30s, charmingly familiar.” I’d love to say more, but I don’t want to blow it for fans of the show, or piss off the writers . . . so that’s all you get. 🙂
“‘Familiar!’ Hey! That’s me!” I shouted across the living room to Anne, when I took the sides off the FAX machine last night.
“Yeah, you’re totally That Guy,” she said.
I was already excited about the audition, but when I saw the character described as “familiar”, I got +5 excited, because I can actually be That Guy. Until I sort of went into semi-forced-semi-retirement a year or so ago, just about every part I auditioned for was not exactly for my “everyman” type, and it was incredibly frustrating (and documented in Just A Geek) to keep hearing “you’re a great actor, but you’re not [tall, short, sexy, scary, famous] enough for the part.
In retrospect, it wasn’t surprising to hear those comments, because I kept auditioning for parts where no matter how skillful my performance was, I wasn’t going to book the job, because my essences were wrong for the character. See, one of the factors completely beyond my control when I go into an audition are my essences. By that, I mean those certain things that I have so deeply embedded into my soul, I take them with me everywhere I go, no matter what I’m doing. If I’m playing a hero, or a villain, a leading man (quit laughing) or a nerdy neighbor, I’m always going to have this “I can relate to that guy” quality. I’m going to be a little too smart for my own good, and there will always be this faint sense of sadness, too. There’s nothing I can do about that — it’s just part of who I am — so if I have to play a character who is, well, let’s just pick any random word . . . how about . . . edgy, for instance, I’m boned. I yam what I yam, as the wacky sailor used to say.
But while I worked on the scenes for today, I knew that I was already standing on a strong foundation, and that freed me up to develop an interesting character. I also got to do a whole lot of looking at Jennifer Garner on teh Intarweb . . . for, uhm . . . research, you know.
The call was at Disney, and I got there nice and early . . . but still waited almost 25 minutes to park my car. Apparently, today was “Bring your toddler to Disney for something” day, and the place was just swarming with happy families. A few years ago, it would have annoyed the crap out of me that I was delayed getting into my audition, but I instead thought to myself, “I bet this is slowing everyone down, so it won’t actually make me late at all, in a relative sense. Maybe I should just enjoy the infectious happiness of these little kids.” I took my own advice, and when I finally got to the writer’s building (23, if you’re scoring at home) I was in very high spirits. “I can’t believe that I get to audition for fucking Alias!” I kept thinking.
I signed in, and saw that my friend and frequent WWdN commenter Keith Coogan had come in earlier in the day. I always like it when I see people I know on the sign-in sheet, as if I needed another reason to smile.
I read over my scenes while I waited, and when they took in the actor ahead of me (Eddie Kaye Thomas, best known as “Finch” from the American Pie movies), I stepped outside and ran over the scenes. I must have looked like one of those crazy actors who’s outside acting to a tree or a bicycle (it was a folded up pingpong table for me, today) but I didn’t care. I was going to go in there and give a great audition. I timed it perfectly — when it was my turn to go into the room, I had read them over twice, and I was at the peak of readiness.
“I just want to warn you,” the casting assistant told me as we walked down the hallway, “that there are about fifteen people in the room. It’s like a pilot session in there.”
I laughed. “I’ll be sure to play to the back row,” I said.
“This is Wil Wheaton,” she said as we walked into the room.
The room was the same as ever: a huge conference table took up about 80% of the rectangular room, and about fifteen people sat across it, along its long edge They all nodded, or waved, or made some sort of friendly greeting. “Okay, this is totally not like a pilot session,” I thought, “These people are way too nice.”
There was a metal folding chair pushed against the table, presumably for the actors to sit in, but I had no intention of using it.
“Do you mind if I stand up for this?” I said.
“I think that would be appropriate,” the casting director said, not unkindly.
I slated my name, and started the first of two scenes . . . which I won’t describe, so I don’t get sued.
When I was done with the first scene, one of the producers (clearly a Very Important Producer, by the way everyone deferred to him) looked right at me and said, “That was really wonderful!”
The rest of the room nodded in agreement, and though I couldn’t tell if they were agreeing because of who he was, or because they actually agreed with his assessment of my performance, I have done this long enough to know when someone is full of shit or not, and this producer wasn’t full of shit. His compliment was genuine, and that just doesn’t happen very often anymore. It meant a lot to me.
“Thank you,” I said, as I started the second scene.
I was totally off-book for both scenes, and gave a very solid performance. When I was done, I actually wanted to do a lame little dance out in the hallway, because I felt so happy with the work I’d done. I even allowed myself a happy thought: “I think I may have just booked a job!”
When I got to my car, I called Anne before I pulled out of my parking space.
“Did you get it?” She said.
“I won’t know for a few hours . . . but I wouldn’t change a single thing. I am so happy with my audition, Anne. It was awesome.” I told her about the producer’s compliment, and how I went in after Finch.
“That’s so cool! Call me as soon as you know something.” She said.
“Okay. I love you.”
“You too.”
I hung up, and drove home, where I spent the next few hours trying to catch up on e-mail (I got down from 500 unreads to 309 unreads in about two hours. Not too shabby!)
Around 5pm, while I was getting ready to leave for ACME, I got the phone call from my manger.
“They loved you, Wil.” He said. “Everyone in that room responded to you very positively. . .”
We’ve had this conversation too many times. “But . . .” I said.
“But, you’re not physically large enough for the part. They want someone who’s much bigger than Jennifer Garner.”
To be entirely honest, I wasn’t surprised. I’ve had five auditions in the last six weeks, and for each part, I haven’t gotten the job because of the way I look (I was too short for one, they changed another part to female, I wasn’t “tough” enough for one, and I forget the other two, but it was pretty much the same thing.)
“Well,” I said. “I’m not going to try to act like I’m not bummed . . . but goddammit.”
“They’re definitely going to bring you back in the future,” he said.
“Did they say that?”
“No, but trust me.”
“Okay,” I said. I remembered how happy I felt when I walked out of the room. “I had a really good time, Chris.” I told him about the producer who complimented me.
“Was it genuine?” He said.
“Yeah. Yeah, I think it was. That was awesome!”
“Good. You’re doing the show tonight, right?” he said.
“Yeah. I’m actually about to leave right now.”
“Well, break a leg. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
And that is the story of how I almost got to spend eight days acting like I was smitten with Jennifer Garner.
. . . yeah, “acting.” That’s it.

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Comments (117)

  1. OK – First, I have to concur with everything everybody above said about it sucking that you didn’t get the part… That being said – Don’t Despair!
    Honestly, it seems that you and John Cusack have a lot in common with the whole “familiar guy” syndrome – not utterly muscle-bound or buff, not insanely 80’s rich-guy handsome, not nastily mean, just – approachable. In a wonderful, totally honest way that can appeal to pretty much everyone who either sees, meets or reads your stuff – especially younger women and men who are tired of seeing cookie-cutter characters. I don’t know what John’s trick is for getting plum jobs, but I know that they’re out there for you – you simply need to keep looking.
    Good luck to you!
    ~M

  2. Loved reading your “Almost Famous” article. Too bad though,you were sooo close! But do you know how lucky you were to do what most of us boring office dwellers just dream about. How cool for you!
    Since you couldn’t reveal what part you were reading for(can’t afford to get sued)…maybe when that episode airs (or is about to) you could let us know so that we can see who you competition was.
    Anyway, good luck in the future and I know I speak for all of us, hope to see you on our favorite show soon!

  4. Dammit!
    I’m sorry Wil.
    It’s my fault, really.
    There’s only so much Acting MoJo floating around in the Aether, and it appears I used more than my share while auditioning for Bat Boy, the Musical.
    Hopefully it’ll replenish during the time when i’m not auditioning, and you’ll get the call for that ‘Future Part’ on Alias, and maybe even get some time alone with JG…
    Again, my apologies. I didn’t think a little show in Alaska would have such cosmic charmic consequences

  5. “Can you please explain what it means when you’re “off-book” for your audition?”
    Tor, what this means is that an actor was given the script ahead of time in order to better familiarize emself with it. Wil simply took the time to memorize his lines, so that he could better immerse himself into “the moment” of being that character, instead of having to break out and look at the page.
    Not every audition is set up like this, but it’s always great when you have the opportunity. It seems that it happens more often with TV and Movies than stage — although I only have very limited movie and TV experience.

  6. Wow. I hope you beat out “Finch”. Great Vegas write up. The Mirage is one of my favorite places on Earth. Ah… you know Halverson is in love with JenGarner?

  7. I love your ability… determination to stay on the positive side. To see it through. So, when the ugly hits, you can still look back & see the fun, the good you did.
    It will come, THE role.
    Thank you for all that you give back.

  8. I totally missed you by like five minutes. I’m bummed neither of us landed the part, it WAS well written. Wil is correct, they were very nice. Wil’s agent is also correct, if they liked you at all, they will bring you back when they have something in mind that you’ll be right for. This was that audition for me. When I saw the “charmingly familiar” description of the character, I thought I was a shoe-in. If anybody suffers from the “You’re that guy in that show” syndrome, it’s good ol’ Coogan. But alas, it was not meant to be. If I wasn’t tall enough for the part, why call me in? If they just cast a tall dude because he was tall, then please just simply cast me sight unseen the next time they have a call for a SHORT guy. To be honest, I’m bitter. I wanted the role. My dissapointment is in direct proportion to how badly I wanted the part in the first place. There are at least 60,000 S.A.G. actors out here in L.A. I have experience, I have a not-too-ugly visage, a modicum of talent, fresh headshots. It gets especially hard when “friends” say, “Hey, you know what movie you should have been in?” or “You would have been perfect in such and such project”. My response has always been, “No, I should have been in Adventures in Babysitting. I would have been perfect in “Cousins” Etc….
    I have to keep reminding myself, we get the roles that we are right for, not the roles that we want. It sucks feeling out of control, but that is the life of an actor.
    Sorry you did not land “Sam Hauser”. If I didn’t get the part,(which is pretty self evident, considering it started shooting today), I wish it could have been you. Oh well. Next time brother.
    I wonder if Sean ever feels like this? There are only a few people I can relate to, and feel like I have a shared experience with. That very short list includes, or included Wil Wheaton, Sean Astin, Jake Busey, Corey Feldman, River, Haim, Scott Grimes, David Mendenhall, Meredith Salenger, Roxanna Zal, Drew Barrymore, Nicole Eggert, David Faustino, Rick Schroeder, Jason Bateman, Justine, Kim Fields, Tammy Lauren, and maybe Scott Baio. I know that we don’t talk very much, but Wil, I know we understand each other. I think a cool project would be to have interviews with all of the survivors above. A kind of Child Star Confessions. Something that would show people what it’s like to grow up in this industry. I think something like that would be absolutely fascinating. I know my life has been interesting, but for people to understand how different it is to grow up working, to have house payments to make by the age of ten, they really have to live through it. I have no understanding of what a “normal childhood” is supposed to be like. Has that screwed me up permanently as an adult, or do I have even more tools than the average 30-something? When I talk to people like Corey, or Scott, or Wil, it seems like the most normal thing of all. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I need to talk to someone who has gone though or is going through the same kind of shit I am. Things are different when you hit your thirties. But I don’t know how far off I am from the “normal, healthy, centered” people.
    See, it’s shit like the “Alias” audition that brings this stuff up for me from time to time. I’ve been through it so many times, but as I get older, the stakes seem to be higher.
    To sum up….
    Good job on the audition, Wil. It sounds like you did your best. I wished I could have run into you, but maybe next time. Hey, I got an email from Rachel and Robin Bush regarding the Keith V.S. show. It was forwarded from Allison Ingram. They suggest I might get a kick out of being on the game show panel. Do you think Keith would like me as a guest panelist? Do you think I should call him?
    Anyway, take it easy.
    -Coogan

  9. Does Keith Coogan have a blog of his own? If not, i think he should!! I know i would read it, he has some very interesting ideas.

  10. It is too bad that you didn’t get the part. But you were in the minds of the producers, right?
    I know how you feel, I am looking for work now. Its hard to keep going when you have a stack of rejection letters weighing you down. Makes me want to curse, loudly! Oooohhhhh…….Crap!! There it went. I feel better.

  13. I really like Alias, and it would have been nice to see you on there. Personally, I’d like to see you do some darker stuff. But where we aren’t sure if you are up to no good or not. Practically everyone on Alias is *one of those*, so I hope you get a call back on day.
    And about being bigger than Jen, like, um, can’t they do the right camera angles, and let you stand on stuff? I remember when the Hirogen (sp?) were first on Voyager, they were supposed to be over 10 feet tall, and they looked it. Later on though, they were quietly shortened. Lazy buggers!
    And I’m going to say something now, I hope you are still reading Wil. You enjoy writing, you enjoy acting. Have you thought about penning some scripts for television? I realise that’s easier said than done, but i think you’ve got the chops for it. Or maybe you, Keith, and some of the people on his list could do an independent film. Straight to video is good enough for me, since my young kids prevent me from going to theatres anyway. I guess I’m saying you’ve made some opportunities for yourself, why not these things too.
    And Keith Coogan, dude! where’s yer blog at?

  14. Bummer that you didn’t get it, Wil. I don’t like the show or Jennifer Garner, but I would have watched it if you were on!
    But hey. At least you got to see Keith Coogan and Eddie Kaye Thomas. 🙂

  15. Wil — if I may call you that — just wanted to say.
    I gave up acting years and years ago, because I could never get any good parts. I was taller than all the leading men, you see. Had to play the ‘character’ actresses. So, I quit.
    I’m very glad you did not do the same thing. Keep at it, guy. Your role will come again.
    Lisa

  17. Dude, thats cool as hell. You could have played the guy who beats the hell out of Ben Affleck. Oh, wait, thats real life. Do you live near him? Because the whole him and Jennifer Garner thing really bums me out.
    I’m sure they’ll find a role for you, my first thought was as one of Marshall’s smart guys. It’d be a fun role, and you could be all geeky at the same time! And Marshall’s short, so no need for lots of height when he’s in the room. Hope it all works out for you.

  18. Wil:
    Great job! I don’t usually watch “Alias” myself, but would have if you’d gotten the part. You just gotta keep trying. Something that’s right for you will eventually come your way.
    I think too, since your writing is getting better and better, what about being a writer on a TV series or even as somone suggested above, developing your own pilot?
    Remember, we live in the greatest country on earth and opportunities are only limited by our own limitations or what we suppose to be limitations.
    Anythings possible….
    Regards

  19. Hey Wil – it does my heart good to hear that you are taking the auditions so well! I have to say that I have watched alot of your acting and you really are great! The one thing that alot of other actors do NOT have that you do, is character. This can be discovered from reading your books (which I have) or from simply watching you act.
    I think that big acting jobs will come to you, and that you are definitely using the right attitude!
    Take care,
    Mark

  20. I believe I was the first to mention it when we heard about the “secret” gig before…Wil, you should be Marshall’s brother – you are perfect for it, and I’m hoping that someone at Alias has read/is reading/Wil read this (yes, that was an intentional typo) and realize how perfect you are for this. And to top it off, how cool would it be for your character to be a scientist/inventor (like Marshall) and you would get to say the ULTRA COOL ‘bad robot’ in the show?
    Geez, now the inner-geek/wanna-be script writer is breaking out. Time to put him away and enjoy a beer while I watch a DVD.
    Hest of luck Wil!

  21. I am new to these blogg journals but I am familiar with you. I have been sitting in this chair for about five minutes trying to think of something to say that wouldn’t sound lame. Can’t come up with anything so I will just say “Sorry you didn’t get the part.”

  22. Wil:
    when I was a brand new, young and neurotic actor, my agent and I had a talk about “winning the audition” even if you don’t “win the role”.
    Congrats… and yep, I agree with your manager they’ll call back.

  23. wil,
    congrats on the audition for ‘alias’ and i hope you get through next time around, you strike me as the sorta person that should get a chance at a gig like that.
    p.s., not sure how ‘far and wide’ people come from to read WWdN, but you’ve defintely got a reader from the isle of Barbados (in the Caribbean).
    good luck.

  24. Bummer about the outcome, but I’m glad you had such a good experience while the audition was happening. fwiw, this blog entry is incredibly vivid and charming, and I really dug reading it, even though the story ended the way it did.

  25. Definately would have been cool to see you on Alias. Always like to see my fave actors on shows that I love.
    And I too will ask the question. Does Keith Coogan have a blog? I will admit to being a closet ‘Don’t Tell Mum The Babysitter’s Dead’ fan and would love to read anything he has to say.
    Fingers crossed for you Wil that they call you back for something bigger and better on Alias in the future.
    Lauren

  26. {All of this is in response to Coogan. I already responded to Wil:}
    Oh my. Coogan can certainly ramble when he wants to. 🙂
    “I have experience, I have a not-too-ugly visage, a modicum of talent, fresh headshots.”
    That’s a start. But do you have a blog? How’s your hair?
    “I have to keep reminding myself, we get the roles that we are right for, not the roles that we want. It sucks feeling out of control, but that is the life of an actor.”
    Seriously for a moment: I believe in fate. In relation to acting, I guess the right roles come at the right time. Even if that role is in a movie like Python.
    “That very short list includes, or included Wil Wheaton, Sean Astin, Jake Busey, Corey Feldman, River, Haim, Scott Grimes, David Mendenhall, Meredith Salenger, Roxanna Zal, Drew Barrymore, Nicole Eggert, David Faustino, Rick Schroeder, Jason Bateman, Justine, Kim Fields, Tammy Lauren, and maybe Scott Baio.”
    {laughing audibly}
    I’m trying to figure out which parts of that entire paragraph are honest and which are just smart-ass commentary.
    Bateman is on one of the funniest shows on TV. Drew is one of the coolest actresses I know (and it would be cool to run into her while she’s in town shooting but that’s unlikely because I NEVER run into any well-known actors here even though I live just blocks from Yorkville).
    Corey was on The Surreal Life. You don’t want that.
    “I need to talk to someone who has gone though or is going through the same kind of shit I am.”
    My aunt is a psychiatrist in the Palisades. I can hook you up. She’s never been a child actor though. Or an actor of any age.
    Here’s an idea for you guys: Come to Canada and steal roles from Canadians. A lot of ours go off to your end of the world anyhow. Apparently Haim is living around here (Toronto) somewhere.

  27. Dude, that sucks, I’m sorry about that, still there’s always more research that can be done on Jennifer Garner so when they call you back you’ll be super-prepared!

  28. for Keith Coogan:
    I’m sure that you and Wil both know a few peeps in Hollywood who’re either totally well-known or else in the more indie-related side of things who could help you guys do some sort of a take on your idea of showing what it’s like for former child actors who’re still alive, still in Hollywood and some have “made it” whereas others are struggling. I mean, Sean Astin is one of the few who’s actually made a total and complete come-back from “no man’s land” and Drew Barrymore has always seemed to maintain the spotlight, but there are so many more people who I remember watching in theaters when I was younger (and I almost idolized them) and I wondered if they’d still be around on the screens today. It’s all about connections, right? Isn’t it possible to start something up yourselves? I’d think that after Wil has had this site going for so long and even published two books that he’d be able to land some nice jobs in Hollywood, and yet he struggles to get stuff. Most of us who read this site support Wil and Keith, am I right? Can’t we start some kind of an underground movement to get them back onto tv and the big screens? There’s gotta be a way!

  30. aw that’s a bummer about Alias. I really love that show and wish it would hurry up and come back on already!
    Personally I think they should put you in a scene with Marshall and it would be like geek heaven!
    Hope they do bring you in for something thoguh. it would be excellent to see you on one of my favorite shows!

  31. > … or *piss off* the writers …
    Maaaate …. you’ve been hanging around with too many ANZACS …. since when did you USians start using *piss off* in the correct vernacular? 😉
    Bummer about the role, cool you were good with the audition, it’s great when you’re “in the zone” regardless of the outcome, and as with other posts, I reckon they called you in to check you out for another part later, so …. mucho MOJO …. maaaate ….

  32. Wil,
    I enjoyed reading your posting about the Alias audition, and I’m sorry that you lost the part because of a few inches. I was thinking that Danny Devito must run into that problem a lot. Maybe that’s why you see him directing more than acting.
    I don’t have all of the answers but don’t give up hope. Do you act because you like to perform? Reading and doing improv should help to feed that need. Have you ever thought about community theatre for fun? I hope you’re not offended that I suggested that. My mind is playing the scenes from “Come Along Polly” when Sandy was playing in Jesus Christ Superstar and the dad gave this profound simple speech. I can’t remember the words and don’t really know if they apply.
    I’m losing my train of thought so I’ll end the madness now. Just don’t lose hope. You certainly have lots of support here.

  33. Wil,
    When I read you had an audition for Alias, I stopped reading for a moment and thought about it. It made sense. I’m a big fan of Alias, and JJ Abrams in general, and I can definitely see you in his stuff. Was disappointed when I read you didn’t get the part. I have a feeling they will call you back.

  35. Hi Wil
    I am so Sorry you didn’t get the Part Wil Hopefully if they know what’s good for them they will hire you for Alias in the Future
    I’m sure it would be acting if you were oposite Jennifer
    Who isn’t Smitten with her
    She is just Beautiful
    Anyway Dude GoodLuck with getting on Alias one day

  36. Keith Coogan as in your co star from TOY SOLDIERS? hee hee hee. He’s a great actor like you Wil. I watched all his movies like I have of yours. I’m sorry to hear you didn’t get the job, but I do occationally catch Teen Titans just to hear your voice. LOL Maybe they will create a role for you on Alias. Anyway for christmas I might be ordering both your books to read. I’m sending ya mojo dude for you.
    morgan

  38. Whew! I can’t tell you how my heart stopped when it looked like I wouldn’t be able to woo you and your manager with a project that I wrote with you as the only person in mind for the lead character.
    Email me and I’ll give you a brief synopsis.
    I’m not kidding. This isn’t a “we think you would be perfect for this role” type of situation, this is a “what the eff will I do if he doesn’t want it” type of situation.
    I even tried to beg Mike for your manager’s contact info.

  39. Geez. Don’t they know how many WWdN readers they’d add to their viewing public if they chose you??
    I can’t even imagine what it’s like to hear “not X enough” all the time…yikes. But I concur – a very well-written account indeed!

  41. I hope they cast you into a role. It would be great to see you kick some ass with Jennifer, or at least get your ass kicked by Jennifer.

  43. Wow, Alias. One of my favorite shows, I am bummed, you would have been great. I keep hoping as much as you do that you book one of these jobs, I miss seeing you on TV.

  44. oooh, I can completely symphathize (i didnt spell that right..did I?) with the size thing. Youre too short, Im to tall. Im 6’1 and anywhere from a half-head to a head taller than most of the guys in the Theater crowd at the University.
    I hope they really do bring you back. Good luck!

  46. If they were smitten with you then they will probably bring you back for something. Besides in that type of show, it isn’t that hard to come up with a new character. So what could you be?
    Well Marshall isn’t as big as Jennifer Garner, they could have a Marshall type person working on the bad side countering him with the same moves he’s doing. You could be one of Tarantino’s henchmen when he’s on again (he has to be on again) hell, you could BE Rambaldi. Endless possiblilities

  50. ANTICIPATED SILVER LINING . . . They were so impressed that they write a part for you and call you back to be a REGULAR! How awesome would that be?! My 13-yr-old daughter and I are Alias addicts. We are in rehab right now because of Alias withdrawal, and making do with Joan of Arcadia and American Dreams — both cool shows.

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