so i have this cool new writing gig . . .

Do you ever have something really exciting that you want to share with the world, but you’re not allowed to talk about it? It drives you nuts that you have to keep it to yourself, so you quietly mention it to Janet, but Chrissy overhears you from the kitchen, and thinks you’re dying, so she tells Larry, and pretty soon you’re attending your own wake down at the Regal Beagle. You think this could be a chance to get Mr. Roper to give you a break on the rent, and maybe get a little something-something from that Kaylnn girl who passes out skates at the roller rink, but Mrs. Roper finds out the truth, and somehow you’re learning an embarassing lesson in front of all your friends, rather than getting lucky on the waterbed in your cousin’s van conversion.
In other words, I’ve been sitting on this big news for weeks, and I just got the green light to announce it. So pay attention, Chrissy:
I am writing a weekly column for The Onion A/V Club! Yeah, that’s right! The Onion A/V Club! Wooo!
Check out the spiffy announcement:

The Onion A.V. Club also extends a hearty welcome to a new contributor who comes to us from Hollywood via the Internet. Each week, actor/author/gaming enthusiast/icon/renaissance man Wil Wheaton, who maintains an online presence at wilwheaton.net, will take a look back to games past with his Games Of Our Lives column, reaching beyond Pac-Man and Donkey Kong to find the dusty arcade games and worn-out cartridges that paved the way for the games of today.

(When I read that, I told my editor, “I love it. Can I just tell you how happy I am that it’s not all ‘Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek (tiny font: writes some stuff too.)’?”
He said, “Well, the original draft referred to you as ‘the spunky lad who saved the universe’ and then went on to say ‘Star Trek, Star Trek, Star Trek.’ Then I had second thoughts.”)
Can you freakin’ believe that I get to write for them?! Holy shit! Writing this column is as much fun as doing Love Machine at ACME each week. I get a chance to be funny, add something pretty prestigious to my resume, and I finally have an excuse for playing so many classic video games. I mean, how many people do you know who could deduct an X-arcade Controller? 🙂
I did an interview with The Onion A/V Club in 2002. If you haven’t seen it, you can read it here.
My first Games of Our Lives appears tomorrow. Check it out, and let me know what you think!

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48 thoughts on “so i have this cool new writing gig . . .”

  2. Hey Wil,
    Thank you SO much for letting us know this FINALLY! (HaHaHa)I am so happy for you. I have been hoping for some good news for you every night, and it looks like you got what I asked for.
    I have been looking into writing gigs lately, and it is all die to you and your Blog. THANK YOU for giving me my “life” back, which has always been writing. Keep writing Wil, keep feeding and purging that creative energy. Drop a lone somwtime, I would love to know that you have ready my many well wishes for you.
    LOTS OF LOVE,
    Quincey

  4. That totally rocks! I can’t wait to read it.
    So, will they allow you to expand to include genre-defining games on the PC? Some I can immediately think of:
    StarFlight I & II
    Star Control 2
    Dark Forces [too contemporary, perhaps]
    Can you/will you take game suggestions? As in “WWDN[or Onion] reader Alice Jenkowitz wrote in this week to tell us how ‘Rescue The Pumpkin’ on the Atari 800 XL changed her life. We overview that classic game this week”.

  5. Ok, I am reposting my comment because I read it after and was totally embarassed. I had too many distractions in the room when typing and the grammer and spelling are hidious:
    Hey Wil,
    Thank you SO much for letting us know this news FINALLY! (HaHaHa) I am so happy for you. I have been hoping for some good news to come your way every night, and it looks like you got what I asked for.
    I also have been looking into writing gigs lately, and it is all due to you and your Blog. THANK YOU for giving me my “life” back, which has always been writing. Keep writing Wil, keep feeding and purging that creative energy. Drop a line sometime as I would love to know that you have read my many well wishes for you.
    LOTS OF LOVE,
    Quincey

  7. “renaissance man”
    Thats quite a compliment, especially coming from the onion; they don’t throw that term around lightly. I will have to check out the A/V club more often now.

  8. Hey Wil,
    Thank you for announcing this! I will go subscribe at once! You mentioned that you were going to ask them kick down a little more $$$$ when you signed my book at Borders in San Francisco…so now you can because Tim in Nor Cal is subscribing. (smile)
    Ha ha! Anyway, it is totally rad news, and I can’t think of anyone better suited!!! I look forward to reading more of your wonderful writing. Thank you for becoming such a great author!
    Tim

  13. dude – that is such great news! i have been lazy about reading the onion lately, so this will be just what i need to get my butt back over there.

  14. Sounds like someone was dealt pocket Wheatons!
    Heres hoping Robotron 2084 is one of your first few lookbacks….or any Williams game from that era. Mmmmmmmmmm, pre-MacGuyver Stargate Reference …..

  16. I don’t know anyone else with an X-Arcade stick. I love mine (although it doesn’t do so hot on Sinistar or 720 — you need an optical 256 direction joystick for that). You should deduct two of them so you can play the multi-player goodness of two-joystick games like Smash TV or four player Gauntlet.
    Oh, and congratulations.

  20. I don’t remember the exact words but in the Sound of Music, Julie Andrews says: “Whenever God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window”. I hope that this window leads you to wonderful places. You’re fabulous Wil. Don’t forget it!

  22. Congratulations, Wil!! See, if you had been able to bring The Script to life, it would have only lasted a few months, this will probably last longer!
    Can’t wait to see your article! Again, congrats!

  26. Rock on! Cool beaners, Wil. Onion = Funny Stuff, You = Funny Guy, so it should be the perfect gig for ya! Can’t wait to read and remember all those classic games I played when I was a kid.
    Pleas please please please please please do a write-up on my all-time favorite Arcade Classic – FOOD FIGHT!

  33. All RIGHT! We get The Onion in hard copy around Denver, so I’ll have to make sure to clip out your articles and post them on my cube walls at work.
    (Oh, and, if you get the chance, pick up World Championship Poker for your Xbox…I’ve been having fun with it recently, and it’s a steal at $20. This has been a totally unpaid and unsolicited testimonial. 🙂 )

  34. I just hope you won’t use up all your creative juices at The Onion AV (NO sexual innuendo implied, really!).
    Give them the funny stuff about video games and save the funny stuff about life for us, k? 🙂
    All the best

  36. w00t!
    Rock on, Wil! I know you’ve always loved the Onion. My company used to print the Denver version of The Onion, so I used to be able to get my hands on it easily. Now I will have to look around for it again.
    Cheers!

  41. Sweet!
    So did you hear about that movie yet? Huh? We’re all dying to know.
    (Okay, not dying really, but we’re interested.)

  45. Just read Games of Our Lives. Wil, that was extremely hilarious. As a former Atari 2600 player, I laughed out loud at your account of the game’s graphics. Heh. And it looks like they’ve totally revamped the A/V Club page’s look. They obviously want it to look nice for you.

  46. I know have this mental image of you and Dan Savage sitting next to each other in a cubicle farm. I know he’d be able to suggest what to do with that X-arcade controller!

  48. My wife and I were talking just the other day about how the games back then were a lot more fun that a lot of the games today (altough the graphics are better now).
    How many people had fun with Adventure (and getting to the hidden section of the game)?

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