a quiet domino

Posted on By Wil

Our cat Felix, who’s been slowly losing his kidney function for the last couple of years, has gotten really sick. He’s lost a lot of weight, and he tested at about 15% kidney function when we took him to the vet two weeks ago.
Man, first Sketch (who is doing very well, by the way, despite a scary episode last week) and now The Bear. This sucks.
For the last few days, Felix has spent most of his time on our patio in a little crouch. He looks so sad and uncomfortable, and even though we’re giving him fluids and as much love as we can, he’s just not getting better. I had the “I think I may have to put my kitty to sleep” talk with my vet last week about Sketch, and it looks like I’m going to have to have the same conversation with her about Felix this week.
It’s so sad, because other than his kidney problems, he’s really tough and healthy. Anne is just devastated about him. He is totally her little bear.
I feel completely helpless. As a husband, and as a pet owner, I’m doing everything I can . . . but it just feels like it’s not enough. It really, really sucks. 🙁
I’ve got convention stuff to write up, and some more CSI stuff, but that’s currently on hold while I take care of this.
If you can spare a thought for Felix, and especially for Anne, please do.

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Comments (154)

  1. Wil & Anne,
    When I was 3 months old, my parents adopted a black kitten from some kids outside of a Gemco (GemCo? Gem, Co.?). She was the last out of a litter of nine, and she bonded with me very quickly. In every 9mm film of me learning to walk that my parents have, the cat is right there next to me. It really is quite funny to see.
    So, as you may guess by now, I’ve been an animal lover all my life. That cat followed me everywhere, even tried to follow me to school a few times, and the hardest thing I have ever done in my life was to have her euthenized. I still get emotional thinking about it–which is also funny to see, because I’m 6’4″.
    Anyhow, I didn’t come to a good place about what I had done until I worked for the vet whom we had taken her to, and saw the other side of what was being done. An end to pain. An end to suffering.
    Maybe it’s the Christian-turned-Buhhdist in me, but I now have the ability to feel good about what I did because I see that life, like energy, cannot be destroyed, only transmuted from one state to another.
    Good luck with your decision,
    Tom

  2. It’s amazing how our lil buddies become members of the family. MUCHO MOJO to all the Wheatons… four legged and two legged. Best Wishes…
    Rob

  3. So sorry to hear about the cats, that’s never fun to go through. Just wanted to say I enjoyed seeing you at the convention this weekend–I don’t know if you remember, but I had you sign a copy of Dancing Barefoot for both me and my friend Meg. When Meg realized I’d gotten her not just your book but your autographed book…well, needless to say, she was quite excited (as was I!). Thanks much! You were far more accessible than any of the other people at the convention and I appreciated that. Best of luck with your cats, and for the future.
    -Meredith

  4. Oh Wil…I’m just hurting for you guys. Like Angela up there, the word ‘crouch’ also brought me back to my late kitty. Mine was Noelle. She was only 7, but at the end she had failing kidneys and diabetes. The decision to euthanize was remarkably easy to make, (she was suffering so much) but emotionally draining to carry out.
    My two kitties, Misty and Charlie, and I send Felix-bear mucho mojo!
    (Dude…I was resisting this typekey junk so well until your site started with it. I did it for you, Wil. 😉 )

  5. It’s hard when a pet is sick… I was just thinking today that I would be so sad if my cat were sick or put down. Even though I never put her on the same level as my human family before, I do feel that attachment to her. Sending you and little kitty many positive thoughts.

  6. Lots Of love and Kitty Karma to the Felix-Bear. I know how hard it is to have “the talk” with the vet. I truly hope things work out. Love and health to all of you.

  7. My heart sank at reading the news about Felix. Me and my fur-babies are sending out the mojo.
    Scott,Khyra,and Chel C. Puss Puss a.k.a “Peanut”

  8. I’m sorry to hear about Felix. It’s very difficult to watch a furry companion suffer like that. I’ve had three cats pass away (one from a diabetic coma, one from lung cancer and one from renal failure). Pumpkin passed away last August from renal failure and I did take comfort in that he died with me at home. We knew what was happening so there were no heroic attempts to prolong his life. No rushing to the vet in the middle of the night. Pumpkin, probably the same as Felix, lived a good life. We buried him in my stand of ferns, but I know he’s out running around in a better place.
    Take care of Felix the best you can. Good comfort karma sending your way.

  9. Sending lots of good kitty mojo from me, Cody, and Midnight. One of my friends just had to have her dog put to sleep for kidney failure a few weeks ago.

  10. Haven’t had a cat for years, but when I was a kid we used to have several, and I remember how tough it was to lose one of them. The toughest a completely black one we’d had since he was born (called “Svarten”, Norwegian for “black one” more or less.. not very original 🙂 )
    We had his mom, and she was so mean to him, often hiding behind the curtains and hitting him hard with her paws as he passed by…
    He was very affectionate, but he also ended up becoming the most cowardly cat I’ve ever known… He was even afraid of the rabbits and canary we had.
    When he was 7-8 years old, he developed a kidney problem, and about a year later we had to have him put down.
    What hurt most was that I was away, and didn’t get to hear about it until a week later..
    He was the last cat I had. Hopefully now that I have a reasonably sized house with a garden perhaps I’ll be able to get a cat again soon…
    Hope your cats get better, Wil.

  11. New mojo coming your way for Felix. Continued mojo for Sketch, too, just for good measure. Best of luck. Be sure to let us know how they’re doing.

  12. I’m sorry Felix isn’t getting better. We lost a cat to kidney failure and it does feel like you are just standing still, unable to do anything. I wish you, Felix and Anne hugs and prayers for strength.
    Christina in GA

  13. I hope your cat gets better and if not, I hope that you can come to terms with the fact that Felix will no longer be suffering and lived a good cat life.

  14. I’m so sorry to hear about Felix.
    Just this morning I made an appointment to do the same thing to… for my cat, Tom. He has a cancerous growth on his tongue that couldn’t be surgically removed and didn’t respond to chemo. So basicially I just watch him, day by day, having a harder and harder time eating as the tumor grows, filling his mouth and making it more difficult for him to swallow and manipulate his tongue. Last week, he stopped eating dry food. Now he’s having difficulty with food that has chunks in it. He’s not in pain and he doesn’t feel sick so it makes it harder for me to pick when. I guess my decision is to wait until he can barely eat.
    I hope Felix will rally and you won’t be faced with the decision for awhile but if he doesn’t you might want to do what I’ve decided to do: get the vet to make house call. That way Felix can sit on your (or Anne’s) lap or in his favorite spot for the procedure. There’s no way it’s not icky but it minimizes some of the stress for him and for you. I live in the Valley too and found Dr. Andrea Mullen who does house calls here [Phone number removed by Wil — not everyone on the Internets is cool.]
    Good thoughts and cat blessings,
    Diane, Tom, Sam, Rascal, Mittens, Emily and Miss Hiss.

  15. Poor Felix! 🙁 I hate it when such beautiful, soft, and gentle creatures suffer so.
    Just remember that you’ve given him a wonderful life, a life that could not have been better under anyone else’s care. You have done everything you can and should only do your best to make him comfortable and to enjoy his company for whatever time he has left.
    ~R

  17. Truly sorry to hear about Felix and I more than empathize with you and your family.
    During the summer of 2001 I was caring for my Kaia, who had lung cancer. She wasn’t doing well but we had her on the best treatment possible. Then 9/11 came (I lost two cousins), two weeks later she passed, I suppose the strain of both events was just too much for me and her.
    I hear a lot of this with my clients and no matter how many times I hear about these situations my heart breaks a little and I tear up.
    I hope and pray for the best outcome for all of you. Felix knows he’s more than well-loved and cared for, a comfort all beings need.
    GirlNerfHerder

  18. Here’s sending lots of mojo to Felix and all the family.
    Two years ago we had to put down our cat because of kidney problems et al, and it was one of the toughest things I’ve ever gone through. It took a long while for us to get another kitten, especially for me, since I had lived most of my life with our cat, Cody, around.
    I know it’s tough to go through it, and I’m sending my thoughts your way.

  20. More kittymojo coming from Denver, Wil…in fact, I had Star on my lap as I read your words. (My laptop was resting on the chair arm; Star had come up to me and given me that look that says, “Why do you want a computer on your lap when you could have a kitty on your lap?”)
    Felix, don’t get any worse, OK? Your people love you very much.

  21. Only other pet owners know the pain of losing a pet. They are a member of the family, like children. It’s such a painful thing to see them suffer. I hope that you and Anne get through this, and that no matter what, Felix feels better.

  22. Wil,
    As a fellow cat lover my heart goes out to you and your family. You are all in my thoughts! I hope it all turns out for the best, whatever that may be. I have only ever had the two cats I have now (mostly because I am allergic to them, so it was a big move for me to get cats at all), so I don’t yet know what you are going through. I can only imagine, and even that makes me teary.
    Best wishes!
    Kris

  25. Much love and mojo for The Bear. I know what you are going through, tell Anne and Felix that tons of mojo are going thier way from little old Hutchinson Kansas from me, my son and our cat Nessa. I hope that this gets better for him. And dont worry about putting the other things on hold, a love for a pet adds presidence to other things. Best wishes.
    karla

  26. First time poster, I only recently started coming to the site. It’s good to see an actor I admired so much acting and being human.
    I’ve been a pet owner since before I can remember. I know it’s not easy. I’m sorry Felix is not doing well. Do what you can for the condition, but at the same time, don’t make them stay for longer than they have to. My step-dad held on for as long as he could to Varmit ( a cat he didn’t want in the first place! Crotchety old thing, scared the poop outta me everytime I went near him. God he was cool.)
    If you don’t mind, besides all the good vibes I’ll be sending your way, I’ll send Bianca too. She left us on the 14th of February. She’s kind, loving, loves scritches, and is a good watcher. She watched over my baby boy while he grew up. She’ll watch over Felix too, with your permission.
    Take care, Wheatons.
    Mickey in Canada

  27. I’m so sorry about Felix! My heart and my thoughts go out to him, to Anne, and to you. I’ve lost some very special friends in the last few years and it always hurts so much. I know how much this sucks and I pray you and your family will be able to have Felix for a long time to come but if that’s not possible, know that you gave him a home he loved and all the skritchies he could ever dream of.
    Hugs!
    Tracey in Santee, CA

  28. As a vet tech and a pet owner, this hurts my heart.
    Cats wander in, and they ask for nothing more than food, shelter, and an occasional display of affection. In return, they teach us to never stop playing, to be utterly unconcerned about what others think, and the value of naps in the sun. They show us how to love unconditionally, and live without regret.
    In a world that went mad long ago, cats teach us how to be still. We love them, and we hurt like hell when they have to leave, but God…how lucky we are, to be able to measure our lives in companions that true.
    I hope Felix manages to pull through, Wil, and spend a little longer with you and your family. But if that’s not in the cards, I’m grateful that he’ll go on to whatever’s next knowing how much he’s loved.

  29. All my prayers and hopes are with Felix and your wife.
    I’ve looked at the pictures of The Bear, and he’s one of the cutest cats I’ve seen… Please keep your hopes up. I know that all of us here will!!!

  30. One huge dose of Neon Las Vegas Mojo comin’ at you! It really sucks when you lose a pet, because it is like losing your best friend. Last time I moved it was cross country and we have to give away our cats, and losing them sucked and has made me not wanna get anymore for a long time until I’m settled I think.
    Well, that was kinda rambling, and not quite the same, but I think you know what I think I mean.
    Be Better Felix! *waves mojo bag around*

  33. Deepest sympathies… I know where you’re at. Our cat, also Felix, has been sick lately too… the doctor feared heart failure but it’s turning out to be much less serious than that. Best wishes and hopes for a recovery!

  35. Wil, Anne and the family……….
    I completely understand where you’re at. I’ve been there and it’s excruciating. But I would never trade the amazing time I’ve had with my cats. They’re my life, love and purpose.
    Sending lots of positive and healing vibes your way!!!!!
    Good luck!
    Scott

  36. Wil, Anne and the family……….
    I completely understand where you’re at. I’ve been there and it’s excruciating. But I would never trade the amazing time I’ve had with my cats. They’re my life, love and purpose.
    Sending lots of positive and healing vibes your way!!!!!
    Good luck!
    Scott

  37. Good mojo and empathy coming from Albuquerque….
    I have had many kitties in my life, from age 5 or so, until now, and they have all had their share of troubles… I know that feeling when you have to go to the vet and have the talk.
    Your cat knows you love him, and he knows you will do the right thing. Cats are incredibly intuitive and once they trust you, they trust and love you unconditionally and forever. I hope things turn out for the best, but if the unthinkable happens, know that you are helping Felix to a comfortable and dignified end, rather than enduring the pain of kidney failure.
    I feel helpless regarding your cat, but hopeful that all of the love and mojo that everyone is sending your way will help.

  39. Ohhh he is such a cute kitty! I have a soft spot for the name Felix since I always loved the character Felix the Cat.
    Poor little guy.
    ((Felix)) ((Anne))
    My cat Domingo sends his special kitty mojo along as well.

  40. Oh, Wil. Big hugs to you and the family. I’ll add you and yours to The List, and speak with The Boss on your behalf. The Goddess’ abilities are stretched rather thin at the moment, but I’m sure I’ll be able to find a little mojo to spare somewhere. I’m sure if I look between the couch cushions and under the seats in my car there’ll be some lying about. I’ll send it c/o the Wheaton Clan.
    Hang in there, you guys. When Wil pushes the Big Red Button, amazing things can happen. Hugs to everyone, especially you, Anne. And if the worst should happen, we’ll all be here for you then, too. Keep the faith.
    Herself,
    TGoJaV

  41. My cat Loki and I will have a send our thoughts along. Actually, I’m not sure what he thinks about, other than the opportunity to claw my hand, but I like to think that he has a streak of altruism that’s just eclipsed by his feral nature.
    In any event, I know that you treat Felix and Sketch at least as well as I’ve treated Loki; I’ve always found comfort knowing that my furry family members have lived happy, full lives with me.
    I’ll say a prayer for your kitty, you, and your family (furry family members included.)

  42. Wil, Anne,
    It’s always hard dealing with the fact that we will outlive our pets. No matter how much love we give, no matter how hard we try, we can’t outsmart nature. All we can do is give these loving little creatures as much as a chance at a healthy, happy life as we can. In return we get unconditional love, gratitude, and a little more joy in our lives.
    Sometimes, when one of my sick kitties is lying comfortably in my lap, I think that somehow, if I just love them enough, they’ll get better, maybe live a little longer. But you know what? I have loved them enough! That’s why they are in my life. They wouldn’t have had a life if I didn’t.
    Both Sketch and Felix realize that they are very lucky to have both of you as their kitty parents. And when their job here on earth is done they’ll let you know. Yes, it will be sad. Yes it will hurt a lot. But until then, just keep loving them like you always have and that will be more than enough for them.
    kbj

  43. Oh, Wil… I can sympathize. I had to have my oldest kitty put to sleep a few weeks ago. Its such a terrible feeling. You feel like you should be doing more, but you can’t. You feel like you’re letting him down.
    After Algernon was put to sleep, I felt like I had betrayed him. But, I (finally) know that I made my decision out of love. My big guy gave me so much love, I had to be there to make sure he didn’t suffer. Remember… whatever happens, he definitely knows how much you and your family love him.
    I will keep Felix and Anne (and the rest of your family) in my prayers. Keep your chin up, Wil. *huge hugs*

  44. Big mojo to both Felix and Anne. I hope you don’t have to make _that_ decision, but if you do, strength and love.

  46. Mucho Feline Mojo to all your House !
    Many HeadButts & Love to Kats & kreatures, boy kids, Will & Anne.
    …may the situation pass as quickly and peacefully as possible…
    Peaxe,
    Rev. D.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I wish there were simpler solutions to situations like this, but many times we must make decisions based more on what we feel, than on what physicians / vets / shrinks / etc. can tell us ~ in essence; being the master of our own destiny and IT IS A BiTcH. Period. The whole situation becomes much harder when other creatures, and humans, are involved… animals [cats, especially] don’t really belong to a person but more to a house and that makes the involvement of others a vital part of what happens to them.
    I have adopted and rescued a number of cats in a variety of situations from the “un-named” who had to be immediately put down and left me with twenty three stitches to “Old Mahn Cat” who lived probably another two years under the cautious care of me and my vet. The “un-named” had apparently been tortured by the horrible little children in the complex where I lived and once at the vet revealed lungs mostly full of transmission fluid and other horrors that meant it was time for him to leave the flesh; right then.
    “Old Mahn Cat” wandered in from the semi-industrial waste park next to my old Tyler Durden style house, immediately made it known that he was going to live in the house and promptly moved on in > after some horrible scenes trying to trim the matts outta his coat and the vet telling me “the old Sot” was basically healthy but would need special care; I became his caretaker. Special horrible foods, keeping a space for him away from the other house creatures, etc. and IT WAS ALL WORTH IT to know that he didn’t die in some ditch somewhere.
    When he finally decided it was time to leave the flesh, I slept on the floor next to him for one last night and was at the Vet’s when they opened; carrying a laundry basket full of blankets and cat [mostly blankets]. My vet knew it was time since I had called her the previous night and once they got the little place on his forearm shaved + did the injection, I began to cry fiercely and convulsively – the techs thought I was crying for the mean old bastard Cat that had invaded my life. I wasn’t. I was crying for me, because, frankly, I was jealous as all hell that a little forearm shave was all he had to endure. That was ten years ago and I’m in tears now writing about his easy transition to whatever’s next.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Will, Anne, boys – all I can tell you is that if it comes to it [AND I SINCERELY HOPE IT DOES NOT]is to be there when the vet gives “the” shot and don’t let the vet take the body away. Bring something to wrap up the body and have your own service for the little critter. He was one of your family, was he not, so why would you let his passing go without tears, joy and remembrance ?
    Yeah – I’ve done this all more than once, or twice and was able to arrange cremation for “un-named” and Old Mahn Cat > Hell, I even cremated one or two lost little kitty souls myself when the opportunity presented itself and have done pet memorial services more than once.
    They deserve it more than many humans.

  48. I read about your kitty on the LiveJournal feed of your blog. I have no idea if you read over there, but I thought I’d pass this along.
    If your doc hasn’t put him on Science Diet’s k/d formula kitty food, have him/her do it now! My 15 year old kitty was in the hospital with kidney failure, and when we brought her home, we had to give her fluids every other day. She’s been on k/d now for over 8 months, and we only have to give her fluids about once a month or when she’s looking a little punky and slow. This food has really, really been a quality of life enhancer for our little Samantha.

  49. I’m going through the same thing, right now. Except not my cat. My dad is 82 years old and going downhill fast.
    Family is family. I really do understand how it feels. I’m keeping my cellphone handy… expecting the call at any time…

  50. I have the same question as someone else did. When you say you’re giving him fluids, are they subcutaneous fluids? You can give these at home once a day and it makes a huge difference. Some cats lives have been prolonged an extra 3 years or so with sub-Q fluids at home. -quality lives.
    It’s a little scary to give fluids at first but then it becomes very routine, and very much worth it. It’s not like giving a shot or an IV. If you pinch a little bit of loose skin on your cat, the space under that is where put the fluids in. In that gap between that loose skin and… well.. and everything else underneath it! 🙂
    There are some very good websites on cats with CRF (Chronic Renal Failure) that can walk you through giving your cats sub-q fluids at home (it’d be nice to have a vet walk you through it as well of course!). My best advice for anyone doing this: If you give your cat a treat during the process they’ll probably sit still. Especially if it’s something it takes a long time to eat or lick off. Like some kind of oil they like.
    Of course if you’re *already* giving sub-q fluids, just ignore everything I wrote above!

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