Anne’s away overnight celebrating a Big Birthday with her friend, so I’m home alone with the kids.
That means pizza for dinner, Family Guy and Futurama on TV, and some general goofing off until their bedtime which was a few hours ago.
After they went to sleep, I sat at my desk, fired up my Death Cab For Cutie / Wilco / The Shins / Nada Surf playlist, and worked with my friend Russ on the Great WWdN Redesign of 2005. It’s coming along nicely, and I’m really excited to get it finished.
Riley has slept under my feet for much of the time I’ve been here, while Sketch has walked in and out of the room about a hundred times (that guy who said “A cat is always on the wrong side of a closed door” was talking about my Fat Guy). Sketch has been coughing a lot the last week or so, and I’m really worried that he’s nearing the end of his life. I just can’t afford the ~300 dollars it costs every single time I take him to the vet, (and he hates the tests and the drive there) so I’m just consulting with her on the phone once or twice a week, and hoping for the best. Sketch’s little heart is sick, and his disease is clearly advancing, but he still sits in my lap when I write, and sleeps on my chest every night . . . the thought of losing him (probably sooner than later) is just too much to bear. It’s really hard to face that reality, because the rest of him is healthy and happy. I guess when it’s time, he’ll tell me, just like Felix did.
I think he knows I’m writing about him — he just walked over to me, put his little paws up on my leg, and meowed until I picked him up. He’s looking over my hands as I write this . . . Hi Sketch. I love you, you fat little guy.
(Just in case he can read . . . I swear, he’s turning his head to follow the cursor while I type. Heh.)
It’s just after midnight now, and I’ve been working without a break since I put the kids into bed around 9:30, so it’s time for bed.
Before I sat down to write this, I walked through the house and checked the doors to make sure they were locked, turned off lights, got myself a glass of water . . . and walked out onto the porch to call Felix in for the night.
I really did it. I opened the door, and without even thinking called out, “Feeeeeeelix! The Bear! The Be—” before I remembered that he’s not ever going to come trotting across my lawn and up the driveway again.
That made me sad, and I cried a little bit before I walked back into the house. Then, I walked past the little memorial we made in the house for The Bear, with his (now empty) cup of water, his dish and his little paw prints in plaster, and I cried a little bit more. I still miss him. A lot.
And now Sketch is still sitting on my lap, looking back at me with his little fangface, and the tears are threatening to come back, this time for him.
I think it’s time to go to sleep.
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My thoughts are with you. I’ve screwed up my last two posts here. It made me so upset I had to take a couple of my nerve pills.
Losing a pet is losing a family member. There are no words, just know my thoughts are with you and your wonderful family.
The pain of losing a pet can be almost unbearable depending on how close you were. I lost my dog a few years back to cancer and it took me a long time to recover. Try to find comfort in knowing that you provided them with love and affection and care that otherwise might not have been given. Im not sure if this is the first time you have lost a beloved pet but the pain will cease with time.
Loss of loved ones is the one thing that we all hate but we all go through it. No one is exempt. So you have our strongest support through whatever you may have to face. Just know that we’ve been there and we’ll help you through it.
Take care, Wil!
Scott
(Blackie sends his meow too!)
Loss of loved ones is the one thing that we all hate but we all go through it. No one is exempt. So you have our strongest support through whatever you may have to face. Just know that we’ve been there and we’ll help you through it.
Take care, Wil!
Scott
(Blackie sends his meow too!)
Firstly, I would like to offer my condolences to Mr Wheaton…my family once had to take care of a paralysed pet too.
I’m not sure if the next part is appropriate to write…hope it won’t be taken negatively…
On this topic, I’d just like to add that every minute 1 African child dies of measles, when it is totally preventable by vaccination. There must be a lot of grief in Africa. Just raising awareness. Help them if you can.
I’m so sorry, Wil. I hope sharing yourself with us is helping. Take care.
Hey wil
I know how it feels to lose a pet and a friend. i should know since i jost both my oldest and second oldest ferret withing 6 months of each other. it was devestating to me since i was the one in my family to take care, love, groom etc for these two very small animal. they were sweet and every thing. so i feel sympathy to you and i hope you dont have to lose a friend before your ready. like my mom tells me. expect the worse but hope for the best!!!!!!!
I feel for you. I have 3 older dogs, 3 older cats, and an ancient guinea pig. One of the dogs is My Heart. (And his name is Riley!) I cannot stand to think about the day when I lose him. The thought of the grief I’ll feel terrifies me and I’m not even sure how I’ll get through it.
Just know there are people out there that do understand.
We are all transitory. It is the connections we make and the loves we find to be the treasures that we carry for eternity.
I will always miss all my companions that have given me comfort and I embrace the happiness of the current loves and the joy of those to come. I am thankful in the sharing of our lives. -Dusty
Loss of loved ones is the one thing that we all hate but we all go through it. No one is exempt. So you have our strongest support through whatever you may have to face. Just know that we’ve been there and we’ll help you through it.
Take care, Wil!
Scott
(Blackie sends his meow too!)
Loss of loved ones is the one thing that we all hate but we all go through it. No one is exempt. So you have our strongest support through whatever you may have to face. Just know that we’ve been there and we’ll help you through it.
Take care, Wil!
Scott
(Blackie sends his meow too!)
Loss of loved ones is the one thing that we all hate but we all go through it. No one is exempt. So you have our strongest support through whatever you may have to face. Just know that we’ve been there and we’ll help you through it.
Take care, Wil!
Scott
(Blackie sends his meow too!)
I think that all the sensative comments have already been said (and they are very relevant)….that said, I think you need a night out with the guys. Seems like there is a lot of emotional energy in your house…maybe a few beers and watch some baseball would perk ya up!!
Wil,
I fully understand what you’re feeling in your heart. All I can add is this…
You have an immediate family and an extended family. All of us here have grown to care for you a great deal, and when the days ahead seem to be at their darkest, all of us here are more than willing to be there for you to help shoulder the emotional burden.
You’re not alone in dealing with this Wil. Believe me, you’re NEVER alone.
It sounds like your cats are doing thier jobs very well. 🙂
Hello… i found your blog-site or whatever this is called a month or so ago.
I am captivated by your writings. I never thought i’d get hooked, but I am… i am. I come back once or twice a week. 🙂 You are indeed a “writer” and a very good one.
Thanks for sharing your heart. I understand your pain. I wish you were around when i was kid. I mourned the death of my dog, Thor, for a long time and no one (except family) comforted me. None of my friends back then seemed to understand my loss.
Again, i truly enjoy reading what you have to say. Best wishes in all your endeavors!!
Sincerely,
Valerie De La Rosa:)
Hey Wil,
Y’know, there’s a reason animals find you….
It’s cause you so obviously care about what happens to them.
They instinctively know that you and Anne are trustworthy care-givers for their kinds of needs!
They can and do trust you with their lives and in return they give you their unreserved love….
Congratulations, you passed their test! 🙂
Joe
Fyrefly1
Wil, I feel your heart pains… my siamese cat named BUBBA but I call her RODENT (almost 15 yrs old) was sick last month. Wouldn’t eat or drink, was vomiting ALOT. Took her to the vet, cost $500 for an IV and a blood test. (Just got the credit card bill a few days ago)… great, another bill I can’t afford.
Of course they didnt have a real answer why she was sick. They gave me general antibiotics and I took her home. I had fed her sugar water for starters, but she still kept throwing up.
I swore she was on death doorstep, and I was not prepared for it. I cried and cried, and begged the space gods to give her a few more years.
I’ve had her since I was 18 yrs old. She’s been with me thru good times, bad times, and times worse than bad. She’s my one true and special friend. She’s my little girl. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do without her in my life.
I force fed her “cat milk” and gravy. FINALLY, after a week of me not sleep and crying consistantly, she started to eat again. She weighed 4 pounds at her worst.
It’s been a month now, and she’s made a full recovery. But I dread the day she gets sick again. I question whether I can afford to take her to the vet again? It was a hard choice the first time, but it worked out. She lived.
Next time I might not be so lucky. And I wish I won’t have to face that day. I know I won’t be brave enough to go through it again.
I know how you feel, and I just cry because I feel your pains too.
Query… If you sit and think about it, why do we get so attached to animals? It seems so stupid in the grand scheme of things. We have animals wandering in our houses. We feed them, clean up after them. It’s weird. But we love them and treat them as our own children.
And we give them silly nicknames. My cats real name is Bubba, but I call her rodent, buttchesse, fuzzy butt, zilla, willa, mardish, ziltamard, beenie weenie, teen bean, jchosheena, marmot, piggies, little girl, big ears, fuzzy butt, drunkard… (this is just a small sample of her alternate names)
ANYWAY WIL… I guess what I am saying is that, I UNDERSTAND & I FEEL YOUR HEART PAINS. My heart hurts too.
You will keep their memories alive, because they are always with you, even when they are gone from this earth, they will be there. This sounds stupid, but I have to believe my own advice, otherwise I’ll go mad.
However, Sketch needs you now. So make the time, even when you don’t have the time. That is what I do now with Bubba. I don’t take advantage of “time” anymore. I thought I would have all the time in the world with Bubba. It seems, time is all we do have. But our perception of time isn’t infinite, so cherish every moment.
Hang in there Wil.
-Kel