So there are these Star Wars fans Übernerds who are lining up in front of Grauman’s for the premiere of “Revenge of the Sith” in a couple of months.
The only problem is, “Return of the Sith” isn’t going to screen at Graumans. For reasons that are best left to the shadowy corners of The Film Distribution World, it will be playing at the Arclight, which is about a half-mile away. (The Arclight, by the way, is the best theater in Los Angeles. Nobody else even comes close.)
When they found out about this unfortunate turn of events, the Star Wars Nerds naturally packed up their stuff, and walked down the block to Arclight.
Except they didn’t.
They’re keeping the line right where it is . . . as a self-described act of protest.
Before I go any further, I’d like to make something crystal clear: Camping out for a couple of months before the opening of a movie is a little weird . . . but essentially cool. That kind of passion is what makes it so much fun to be a Nerd. But camping out at the wrong theater and refusing to move in protest is hilarious, and it’s what makes it embarrassing to be a Nerd.
We’ve been covering this story pretty heavily over at blogging.la. In fact, my friend Sean was the very first person to break this dramatic story, long before the rest of the media got on board:
Since I know everyone is dying to find out what’s going on with the Star Wars line I’ve taken it upon myself to read through the entire thread at liningup.net as well as call them several times now and here’s the facts of the moment:
- The Star Wars line is still outside of Graumans.
- Graumans has confirmed that Star Wars will not be playing at Graumans.
- Arclight has confirmed that Star Wars will be playing at Arclight.
- The Star Wars line is pissed because they think Star Wars should be at Graumans, not at Arclight, so they are not moving the line in protest.
I thought that was so hilarious (see my points, above) that I left a comment on that entry, using the dreaded phrase, “Get A Life.”
Oops. Turns out some of The Star Wars Nerds have no sense of humor about themselves. I got some upset e-mail, and while I composed a reply, the saga continued to unfold:
OK, who would have guessed that in the very small group of people who are willing to line up months in advance of a movie to get tickets, in front of a theater where the movie isn’t going to be playing, there would be room for cliques and infighting between the popular super nerds and the unpopular super nerds? I wouldn’t. And I would have been wrong. A post in this thread by “certified instigator” has just confirmed the existence of said infighting. Read on…
“No one is talking about leaving the line. The popular clique has flat out refused to be open minded about where we see the movie as a group. They insist that no matter what we – as a group – decide they will not see it it at the Arclight.
They make it very clear here on the boards and in line. That splitting up the group is better than seeing the movie at a theater the popular clique doesn’t like.
Many people I’ve spoken to are willing to see it at a theater they don’t prefer in order to keep the group together. But they are less popular and way less vocal.”OMFG.
OK, so some waiters in line want to keep the line together no matter what theater it’s shown at, and other linesters don’t give a crap about the line and only care what theater they see it at – and this is shaking the foundation of the line to it’s core. TO IT’S CORE!
There were cliques in the line? There’s a popular clique, which implies that there are unpopular Nerds who are lining up at the wrong theater?! This new information took an already hilarious story and exploded it into the surreal realm of Terry Gilliam-esque humor. I couldn’t help myself, and I posted that they should have taken my advice (about getting a life, I mean.).
My little quip ended up pouring even more gasoline on what was now a full-blown Nerd War between the Nerds at Blogging.la, and the Star Wars Nerds. The upset e-mail I’d received was followed-up with some honest-to-goodness hate mail, so I tried to smooth things over with an open letter of my own:
Dear Star Wars Line,
I’m really sorry that you’re so offended. I was just playing around. I learned a long time ago that I have to be able to laugh at myself. (I’m the guy who had not one, but *two* newsgroups dedicated to hating him, remember?) I think it’s awesome that you guys are raising money for charity, but I hope you can see the humor in a bunch of people waiting in line at the wrong theatre, refusing to move to the theatre a couple of blocks away that *is* showing the movie. And framing it as an act of protest . . . well, that’s really funny. Movies are not the sort of thing that one generally associates with protests. Civil rights? Sure. Anti-war? Sure. Clean up this toxic waste dump? Sure.
But we’re not moving until you put the movie here? We’re not moving in protest? And look at the drama surrounding the whole thing: There are “cliques” of people, and “cool kids” and “factions” waiting in line at the wrong theatre, refusing to move in protest? And the self-righteous indignation? If you can’t see the humor in this, you’re really missing out.
[. . .]
Again, I am truly sorry that you and other lining-up-ers are so offended . . . but I wish you could see the humor, also. I didn’t intend to put you all down. I’m sure you’re all great people who believe they’re doing the right thing for the children. I was just enjoying the absurdity and humor.
I sincerely hope that you all enjoy your time in line, and I hope that the final movie doesn’t suck as much as Episode One.
May The Force be with you,
Wil
As an olive branch, Sean and I designed some T-Shirts for the Star Wars Nerds, so they’d have something to pass down to their own children, years from now: 
Sadly, our peace offering was viewed as further ridicule, and I got yet another angry e-mail.
Heartbroken that the Star Wars Nerds were more interested in feeling persecuted and righteously indignant, and saddened that they just couldn’t see the humor in the whole thing, I vowed to just let it go.
And I did, until yesterday, when my favorite secret Ninja, Jessica Mae Stover asked me if I wanted to go with her to take pizza to the Star Wars Nerds, who still inexplicably refuse to move to a theatre where they’ll actually be able to see the movie:
Hey WW,
I
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Whoa, first? Cool.
Geez Wil, it’s pretty bad when the nerds start getting uppity.
And what’s with the blogging.la folk, they seem to have had a humorectomy or something.
Oh, and come to the East coast some day.
Cap’n, the Nerds are revolting!
Yes, and their fashion sense needs work, too.
Maybe we should all go and visit the Nerds, and bring flower in memorial to their chances of actually seeing Sith at Midnight? Or make them all hold hands and sing Klaatu, Baratta, Nicto?
No, honey, don’t poke the Nerds, they get angry and have feelings, too.
You’d better watch it, Wil.
Those pink, telescoping light-sabers sure can leave a welt.
ps– I’m hoping that Triumph makes an appearance on the line.
–AJ @ Ova
Hilarious!! And you’re right. If we nerds can’t laugh at ourselves, what have we got left? Nothing but a pair of pointy ears and a light sabre.
Anyway, they need to lighten up and realize how insane this all is. As for me, I’m going to go sit in front of my local Starbucks and demand they serve Dunkin Donuts coolattas.
I may get my Canadian butt kicked for saying this but I’d agree with your get a life theory! These people need to get jobs and get off the sidewalk! I love Star Wars but two months of my life isn’t going to be wasted sitting on the street waiting at the wrong theatre.
Well, I wouldn’t give them a bad time just because they’re waiting in line so far in advance of the release. I think that’s actually pretty cool, and I understand that they’ve worked out a system of signing in and out for the people who have to go to their jobs, familes, etc. I guess their position in the line is ultimately based on how long they actually wait there in line.
I wouldn’t tell them to get a life just because they’re lining up. It sounds like it’s a fun social event for many of them. That’s cool.
I told them to get a life because, not only are they waiting at the wrong theatre, but they’re so hardcore about it.
The fact that the Alpha Nerd just hates my guts so bad for finding humor in their Nerdliness sort of validates my point, doesn’t it?
I honestly can’t comment on this because I am laughing too hard…
Seriously, I’ve been sitting here for 5 minutes trying to think of something and I just… can’t… stop… laughing…
…Man, 10 minutes later and I’m still laughing…
OMG, this is so funny… and yes, I’m still laughing. :)-
If they have this sign-in sign-out policy then it doesn’t really matter if they are at the right cinema or not. It’s just a matter of walking round the corner once the media has died down or the alpha nerd backs down.
Anyway, it was pretty hilarious read!
ttfn,
P.
Ok, ok, Wil, first off, my name is Matt. This is my first time post on your site so far as I can remember. I liked Star wars and I always used to take some sort of solace in the fact that while I was an relatively uber Star Wars geek (Seen the original tril 89 times apiece, never dressed up like a Sith Lord for a movie premier), at least I was never a Star Trek geek. I used to think “Star Trek geeks are waaaaaaaayyy worse than Star Wars geeks, what with their phasers and near obsession with an imaginary language (Klingonian). I mean, hell Star Wars people don’t hold conventions to meet the guy Darth Vader strangled before the Battle of Hoth, Right? Today however, that image was shattered. Today, you proved me wrong. Star Wars geeks are as bad if not WORSE than the Trekkies. I’m so alooooooooone
I was thinking of starting a queue for Episode III outside inside a pub ’round the corner here. Out of like… protest.
hhmmmm
so their not going to see the movie then??
im sure someone will notice, i mean a lack unwashed nerds. think about it. would you like to sit down next to a pack filthy geeks?
nuts!
but kudos for standing up for something guys!
missguided as it may be.
C.
“Star Wars people don’t hold conventions to meet the guy Darth Vader strangled before the Battle of Hoth, Right?”
WRONG! Just check out the autograph hall guest list at Star Wars Celebration III (note Admiral Ozzel near the bottom of the list): http://www.starwarscelebration.com/displayswc.aspx?file=swc-autographs
So, wait, they’re protesting that they (the nerds) aren’t able to successfully control distribution just by being nerds?
I don’t get it. They’re mad because something they *thought* would happen didn’t…because Star Wars didn’t follow THEM.
…
…
…
Yeah I got nothing.
I worked at a movie theater for a few years, and I was never able to figure out how they decide which houses get which films. I think tea leaves are involved. Maybe also goat entrails.
Hilarious.
If the world is kind, someone will take pity and buy out a showing in a single theater (hey google, donate some tickets for these people so they can stop protesting). Or something. After all, grouping together like lemmings with other nerds is obviously the last thing you’d want to do when you have free time. Ah well, I guess you can actually tell if you’re talking to a real girl vs. irc.
I always thought that George Lucas would be laughing like a hyena before Star Wars Premieres (this occured to me as I froze my butt off in line for 3 hours). If I were him, I’d set up a web cam and a live feed in the bathroom so I can laugh while on the john.
Wil –
Thanks for sharing info about J-Sto’s review, that was hysterical. Now I’ve got yet another blogger to keep tabs on.
–T
I adore nerd hierarchy. I interviewed today for a job marketing books, and found out at the interview that it would be for Wizards of the Coast books, ie Magic and D&D. I actually got excited at the prospect. The woman interviewing me mentioned that she’d had no experience with gaming herself, but went to GenCon a few years back for work and had a fine time watching a group of pimply teenage boys in GURPS shirts making fun of a group of goths, saying they gave gaming a bad name.
She then asked me about my interest in independent hip hop (itemized on my resume), and I had to admit that it was all nerd rap, but that the people involved there liked to make fun of gamers. It’s all part of nerd hierarchy.
So, here we sit, sure we’re Star Trek fans, and sure we’re code writers, and sure we’re bloggers and bb posters. But we’re kings of the nerds, top of the geek-pile, laughing down at all we survey. I love being a nerd.
Hi Wil! First time writer-in, frequent reader-of. Thanks for doing what you do.
Mostly I have a question – if I buy one of those genius shirts, do you make a donation to the fund that the line party is raising money for? Just wondering.
I’ve had quite a lot of fun reading this post and not getting ANY work done AT ALL. If I get fired, I’m blaming it on you 🙂
OMG That is hilarious! I’m sorry, I’m a geek as well. Always have been. And I watch the three original when they first came out (yes, I’m that old). BUT to wait in a line for the movie … adn then to wait in the wrong theatre. That is just TOO much! Some people really need to get a clue. Especially since they can buy tickets faster thru the net than waiting in line. 🙂
http://onlinestench.blogspot.com/2005/04/you-think-youve-lost-touch-with.html
These people make my life worth living
Nerd Wars!
* dies giggling *
Here is the comment I left at blogging.la:
My name is Chris Reed. I am 40 years old. I was third in line opening day for The Empire Strikes Back in Hollywood. Okay, technically my mom was, but I was right there.
It wasn’t at the Chinese. It was at the Egyptian. And it was the best movie of the lot.
Take the omen, folks.
The movies world premieres have all been in San Francisco, by the way, at the Coronet Theater. It closed three weeks ago. Sad.
wow, i didn’t know a line could have cliques! ehehehee that’s too funneh XD
i want one of them T-shirts! even though i wasn’t actually in that line 😛
/btw, Wil, please don’t change the layout of your blog, it’s so perfect right now!
I wonder who designated the cool nerds cool and why?
*falls over giggling*
no really… this is just so tragic….
*passes out from uncontrollable evil giggles*
I love movies, but I don’t love any movie long enough to stand in line for hours to see it. (Well, maybe if it involved Joss Whedon, Peter David and Marti Noxon) That’s what Fandango’s for! Guess there’s no uber in my geek. 🙁
Best.
Post.
Ever.
Dude, OMFG, I have never laughed so hard in my life. Coca Cola shot out of my nose and onto my flat panel monitor (I too am a geek).
Too funny. 🙂
Someone needs to find out what film is premiering at the Graumans theater that week. Then we can make up more shirts saying “I waited in line for 2 months to see Star Wars but ended up seeing the Exorcist instead”
Another first time commentor here.
Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. I am by far the geekiest person I know, and this leaves my mouth agape. Having been a born and bred geek, I agree that we sometimes have to learn to laugh at ourselves for just exactly how seriously we take our geekdom; I can’t imagine someone having such dislike for you for making an observation…
Anyway, rock on Wil. BTW, you are one of the funniest writers I’ve read; though Jessica’s a very close second.
“Jessica: Thanks for calling 1-900-Star-Wars, this is Princess Leia. Is your light saber in need of service?
(stunned silence)
— Click. –”
So you’ve probably just noted that over at blogging LA Sean found out that they bought 400 tickets at the Cineramadome buy now.
I find their lack of faith disturbing.
It’s times like this that I truly miss Spudnuts.
I suppose you COULD call this all sour grapes that no one lined up anywhere to see Star Trek: Nemesis or protest the cutting of any and all Wil Wheaton scenes, right?
/I keed….I keed. I keed cause I love. (I actually liked Nemesis (with or without Wheaton)).
well i actually boycotted Nemesis cuz i got pissed that they edited it like that, i’ll just catch it on tv someday… i guess that’s the extent of my geekdom. 😛
I have never ever been embarrassed to say I was a Star Wars fan but this gives me pause. And I SO want one of those t-shirts. Please tell me they’re for sale for real.
Wil,
All I could think of as I read this (between wiping tears of laughter from my face) was the episode of the West Wing where Josh discovered Lemonlyman.com. Seen it? He posts and they all jump on him and go crazy. And he realizes he can’t communicate with them because they’re all insane.
3 years ago, friends of mine were 2nd in line at the Wash DC premiere of Attack of the Clones. They slept there for a week. The last night, my friend and I went and brought Krispy Kreme and hung out, because one of the linesters we knew had extra tickets. And there were DEFINITELY popular people and unpopular people. It was hilarious. One of the funnier nights of my memory.
Don’t worry if they hate you. They hate lots of people. Like all of us who are going to wait until later that day to see the movie, instead of waiting in line forever for the midnight showing.
Hi Will,
I’ve been reading your blog now for, oh, about six months. I find it fascinating to read about anyone’s life experiences regardless of their celebrity status (I read plenty of other people’s too.) 🙂
Then I read this one and wow, I related to it right away. You see, I am a Geek and would consider myself an “UberNerd” according to your definition. Now, generally being a Geek (I like it better than Nerd which really refers to the those computer geniuses that no one dated in high school, but now run multimillion dollar computer companies – think Bill Gates) is rather cool. Once you embrace your ‘inner geek’ it gives you a sort of freedom of being you that was not possible before. But I digress…Having embraced my inner geek in spring 2002 I started doing movie replica costuming, specifically Star Wars. I used to belong to three different Star Wars based clubs: one was for general SW fandom, the other two are costuming clubs – one for the bad guys and one for the good guys. The first year was great! I went to all kinds of charity events in costume (as Leia) and participated in parades, conventions, hospital visits – you name it, we were there in costume. I made a ton of friends. I dated other Geeks which was great cause we’d do the costumed events together. Then the DRAMA began. One of the local chapters of said bad guy club was having internal disagreements. Then they started having all out fights online via messageboard and email. Then it all exploded into all-out war b/c another club thought the bad guy club was getting preferential treatment from LucasFilm, and the bad guy club was leaving the other club out of the invitation. The ironic thing about all of this is that the bad guy costuming group started all the problems – I suppose they were just acting to type. LOL This went on some months before an uneasy truce was formed. Then the one bad guy club split into two groups that don’t get along at all and the fighting continued. It has been such a hassle and such a stressful thing being part of the groups that I finally had to make a decision. Do I want to continue to participate in this nonsense when it’s really just about a movie? The politics and personalities, the petty jealousies, exclusion of people they don’t like, the in-fighting and out-fighting became too much. So this past February I resigned my membership from all of the clubs. And that is only one story I could tell you – there are many more I could tell you. I could write a book about my experiences in Star Wars fandom. I have dicovered that there is a good percentage of Star Wars fans – we’re talking the Ubernerd variety – that are very angry geeks, and they take that anger out on the people who they decide they don’t like, which could be anyone. So it’s no surprise to me that the L.A. line is divided into factions and that your comments would stir trouble. Personally, I find your comments hilarious and take them for what they are. But one of the reasons you got in more trouble than anyone else would is because you are associated with Trek, and you should know there is a Great Divide between most Star Wars fans and Star Trek fans.
Don’t take anything they’ve said to heart. Don’t try to fix it. You simply can’t appease these people. I mean, think about it. These are grown adults who choose to camp out at a theater that isn’t even going to show the movie. Like John Stewart says on the Daily Show – “Be Reasonable!”
Me? I’ll be getting in line at my local AMC in the suburbs of Philadelphia round about 8pm – four hours before the midnight opening. And I won’t be in costume, but I will be wearing a Leia t-shirt and have my hair in buns, b/c I am, after all, a Star Wars Geek. 🙂
~Jenni
My earlier comment got deleted, but that was funny as heck man.
Too bad it’s not a hunger strike. That’d really show ‘the man’ if they all ended up in the hospital before the movie opened.
I’ll have to see what Chris says, but I think the whole thing is WAY too funny. People take themselves too seriously, and this is just an example of that.
I totally don’t even care anymore if Episode III sucks. This makes it ALL worth it.
I will confess that I love Star Wars more than Star Trek and until recently, I too thought that Star Wars fans were more sane – but this is just stupid.
First off, who the hell can take off work for so long? How do they keep from being bored to death?
Secondly, who the hell cares where you see it as long as you see it. If it was me – well, if it was me, I would be waiting until a matinee showing, forget waiting in line for hours – but if I was in a line and found out I was at the wrong place, I would be so out of there.
What really scares me is the facist attitude of the line group. That is just WRONG, people! That is just so against the spirit of Star Wars. Maybe we should refer to them as the Clone Army from now on.
Pizza?
PIZZA?
Hookers.
“I lined up at the wrong theatre for Star Wars,
but I finally lost my virginity.”
Wil, this is the most hilarious weblog entry I’ve ever seen on your site. The fact that people are getting upset enough to send you hate mail makes it even more funny. I’ll have to try and visit the Grauman’s group next week if I have time while I’m in town.
What have you got against Episode One anyway? I loved that movie, in fact it was the one that got me liking Star Wars in the first place.
But still, why would you bother to line up for months, never mind that it’s at the wrong cinema. I just told my sister about this and she’s laughing her head off. Some people definately take their love for movies too far. Me for one, but I’m not about to line up for a movie I can just see a week later when no-one’s going anymore.
They’re mad because something they *thought* would happen didn’t…because Star Wars didn’t follow THEM.
You know, I’ve noticed this in more than one fandom (LOTR, HP and SW) in the past few years and it still doesn’t make sense to me. Why do people think they have a right to tell a creator what to do with their creation? I had an agrument with someone about this before Attack of the Clones. I’ve questioned people who got upset about the title Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I watched one woman throw a total hissy fit because Peter Jackson had Sam marry Rosie at the end – even though it’s freakin’ canon and she knew it!
You’re buying the vision of another, people. If you want you’re own, write your own stuff and don’t spend money on the other person’s stuff. It’s like most people are turning into petty-dictators.
Has it always been like this and I just missed it? Or is this something that has been growing with time?
Oh Wil… Wil Wil Wil. I was reading this entry, and while I don’t disagree with what you’re saying, I found myself wondering why you would need to say this at all. “It’s like he never heard of fandom politics…”
And then it occurred to me that you probably haven’t, because you’re not really part of fandom. That’s not to say you’re not a fan – anyone can be a fan, and most fans are geeks. But fandom, to be part of that larger community as a fan, it’s just not something you’ll never have to deal with since you’ve crossed that magic line from the admirer to the admired. Which brings it’s own problems, I’m sure (fans hating you for your character, fans hating you for you, fans taking the fantasy world a little too seriously, and so on).
When you’re a part of organized fandom as a fan, politics happen. You’d think they shouldn’t, since it is just a show/movie/book series/toy and nothing that will actually seriously change society (like real politics). But people all have their opinions on how things should be, and they take their particular fandom just a little more seriously (because they love it so much), and well, disagreements happen. And because people have things like emotions, these things can get blown out of proportion and get STUPID, like the Star Wars example you mentioned. But it’s not just Star Wars – every fandom has this crap going on, and it’s much more than just Star Wars versus Star Trek (which in my experience, is a rivalry that doesn’t really exist and seems more to be invented by the media): Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Transformers, anime, DC Universe… the list goes on and on. There’s a reason why things like the fandom_wank community exist (you want funny? go read fandom wank. It’s crap like this Grauman’s situation ALL THE TIME).
I’ve been involved in my fair share of fandom crap, and yes, that include Star Wars (in something similar to what happened to Jenni above, except I’m in NYC). It’s not something you really want to delve too deeply into, because it can get messy. Funny, but messy, and people will take it seriously. And trust me, telling people to “get a life” is the absolute worst thing you can say, since not only have you insulted people by belittling something that’s important to them, but it doesn’t reflect well on you that you took time out of your life to say it.
Yeah, I could have done better things with my time than type up this response. But hey, I am a geek…. a fan of fans. I’m fascinated by geek culture, and I just thought that maybe I could set the record a bit straight on this whole mess.
Speaking of Star Trek / Wars, the poll came out in TV guide today. Crusher came in 4th dead even with the computer at 11%. Alexander came in first. I just thought I would mention it. ^_^
btw, too funny about people lining up at the wrong theater and staying there on purpose.
Hey Lampbane,
Funny you should mention NYC – the groups I was participating with for a LOT of events with ARE in NYC. In fact, the bad guy group that split now has two chapters located in NYC.
J
hmm… don’t these people have jobs? Or, at least jobs where you can’t take off for months at a time, and need to show up not looking like they live on a sidewalk?
Lining up at the wrong theater is amusing… refusing to move has the makings of a mockumentary.
“Wil, I am your father!” – Capt. Picard.
Oh my. I just took a look at the other posts, pictures, and links at blogging.la. Oh my. I’m a SW fan from way back. I was six when the original came out in ’77, and it became a part of me the minute that door opened and Darth Vader appeared. A hulking, menacing, frightening figure in jet black in stark contrast to the pure, white, pristine environment of the rebel ship (except for all those dead bodies on the floor…not too pristine and pure, but you know what I’m saying). I still get goose bumps when I see it. But…oh my. That’s just…..it’s just…..DANG!