I think it’s time to open the WWdN mailbag . . .
Subject:Wil how a terrible news that ya are a lefty
Date: April 10, 2005 1159
From:Craig R.
To:Wil Wheaton
Message:Will sorry to hear that you are one of those lefty’s from Holly Wood … Though it should not surprise me much of what comes out of Holly Wood these days . You are just like the other sewer crap that comes out of Tensile town , I’m referring to the Pathetic schmucks such as Whopi Goldberg , Ya know her a as the faithful bar tender on the Enterprise . Martin Shean , Susan Surandan and Sean Pen . Ya all just have to face it Bush got over 51 to 52% of the vote just look at the map. So face the facts hippie and live with it BUSH WON BY A LAND SLIDE !!!! NOW I KNOW IT DON’T SET WELL WITH UR INTELLECT . HAVE A NICE LIFE AND LEARN TO SUFFER IN SCONCE … OH BY THE WAY KERRY VOTED TO CUT THE INTEL.. BUDGET BY 80% READ THE SENATE VOTING RECORDS. GUESS YOU WILL BE OFF MY MOVIE LIST WHEN YA COME OUT IN THEATERS AT LEAST PATRICK STEWART KNOWS WHEN TO KEEP SILENT. YA CAN LEARN ALLOT FROM HIM ON CLASSY BEHAVIOR. YOUR JUVENAL AND CHILDISHNESS IS STILL SHOWING SO WHY DON’T YA GROW UP.FORMER NEXT GENERATION FAN.
CRAIG R.
Dear Craig,
I learned allot from your classy e-mail. I was unaware that 51 to 52% of anything was a landslide, but we sewer crap probably use a different kind of math than you do. I apologize if that don’t set well with ur intellect.
Next time I see Martin Shean, Susan Surandan or Sean Pen I’ll be sure to share your insights with them. Maybe we can all trade our juvenal and childishness for suffering in sconce.
Best Wishes from Tensile town,
Will Wheaton
(I’m not sure if this is real, or not. If it’s not, it’s the funniest satire in history. If it is . . . it explains so much.)
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PS Ogrek, darling husband that he is, observed that the person responsible for the e-mail needs to invest in a spellchecker. That might work.
Though sadly it won’t have a bullshit filter, oh well.
Hi guys!
I laughed like crazy at the email. I’m not sure a person could get more inarticulate.
Then I scanned through the comments and learned that since I vote Republican (85% of the time, anyway), I am “illiterate” and a “dickhead” and “prove that our public education system is failing”.
Huh. And here I am, a graduate of public school, and two state universities (well, almost. The Master’s degree is finished in July). I’m working in a profitable IT job. Last I checked, my head was in fact head-shaped. I had no idea I was such a horrible person. Why do I feel so successful?
For many of us on both sides of the aisle, choosing which lever to pull was a very hard decision. And this country’s in a lot of trouble if we can’t find ways to pull together.
Wil, I’d’ve posted that email too. I think it’s hilarious. I’d’ve also hoped that my readers (what few there are) could reply to it without slinging quite so much mud.
Your family’s been in my thoughts since I heard about Felix.
thanks,
anne
Hahaha, if anyone needed more proof that morons vote for Bush, there it is. Well done Wil, good going for having a good sense of humor about this jerk.
Wil,
Although I’m an avid reader of your blog, you and I are worlds apart ideologically. You’re a sharp thinker and a talented writer, but when you opine on things political, you drive me nuts!
Craig’s rambling diatribe was shameful. Irremediably so. I found its puerile tone to be particularly offensive, to say nothing of the deplorable spelling and grammar. I think you were right to expose Craig’s missive for the angry, thoughtless twaddle it clearly is.
But…
I strenuously object to the fact that you used Craig’s e-mail to stereotype right-leaning folks everywhere, myself included. I am dismayed by the tendency both sides of the political spectrum have to demonize and stereotype one another. It’s unfair, it doesn’t win minds and hearts, and it solves absolutely nothing in the end.
Wil, there’s a lot of stupidity on both the right and the left in this country. I would be a fool to lump you together with the myriad plateheads who happen to share your political views. It is indeed unfortunate that you’ve chosen to engage in such stereotyping by equating folks like me with folks like Craig.
Just my two cents’ worth.
Keep up the (otherwise) good work. And congrats on the recent CSI gig — I thought you were fantastic.
Blessings,
Rob Monti
aka The MonT-SteR
http://www.mont-sterreport.com/blog
Hi All
I dont see what the big deal is about Craig’s post? Im not the greatest typist and i rarely double check spelling and grammar on internet message boards since im not a complete dork (except when it comes to star trek). Is will being a jerk when he says deragtory(sp?) things about the President which will obviously offend his supporters? Hollywoods left(which means everyone but Bruce Willis :)) have said some pretty vile and hatefull things about Bush and his supporters and I found it laughable that any liberal would get their panties bunched over craigs post but have no problem with the X-rated rant by Goldberg or other liberals who have said similar disgusting things about Bush and his supporters.
Now on to my point and i hope one can be found!. I assume many here are liberals which is fine. Now let me ask you liberals a question. When Bill Clinton was Twice elected to serve as a our President what was the highest % of the vote he ever won? And did anyone in the mainstream media/left ever question if he had a mandate? Absolutely not! When the democrats win an election liberals react with “The people have spoken” and talk of percentages are left for page 6 behind sports updates. Bush won re-election with a record number votes cast for him and with a higher % of all votes cast then Bill Clinton ever received. Lets be fair..If you feel that Clinton had a mandate (you know that you feel that way) then your opposition to Bush has more to do with a personal dislike for his politics then anything else..
Reminds me of all the supposed anti-war protestors. First of all this whole notion of saying you are “antiwar” is the most moronic thing I have ever heard. EVERYONE is anti-war. Only in liberal wet dreams of their opposition being Darth Vader like and they themselves the heroes of the universe do even the coldest of politicians want war. That being said, Where were all these protests in the streets when Clinton took military action? These alleged war protesters have zero credibility if they only march in the streets when its a republican giving the orders while staying home and keeping quiet when a Democrat orders our troops into battle.
Hey, This has been alot of fun. I respect the veiws and opinions of others and i think its cool a former trek actor likes to keep close to the fans. Good night everyone.
Wow.
It seems that someone out there knows the meaning neither of sconce nor of landslide.
But then , it MUST be a joke; I mean, he knew how to spell "sconce" after all.
And "tensile"!
LMAO! Dude needs a serious spell checker.
Oh My GOSH People!You have given Wil credit for things he didn’t say in this posting. He didn’t mention the following:RepublicansDemocratsLiberalsConservativesClintonBushRight WingLeft WingAnything PoliticalWhat Wil DID do was post a poorly written, passionate, and sadly comical letter that he received on April 10th. He also replied with wit and sarcasm. Not once did Wil introduce any political view and only addressed some things that the writer had mentioned. If Wil was to share ANY views with this person it would be in vain.If the letter was true, then the person would not have been receptive to any ideas. If the letter was satirical, then it would be just something that we can enjoy. As for the motive as to why Wil posted this in the first place, you should ask him before you assume anything. As for me, I found it entertaining and somewhat disturbing since there really ARE people like that. In the meantime, it gives us something to ramble on about. -Dusty
I won’t get into the flamewar of lefty vs. righty. Personally, I’m more of a libertarian, but given the choice between Dems and Reps, I have to side with the Reps, having suffered through the inept military policies of the Clinton years as a grunt in the Army. So I understand their screwups on a very personal level. But that’s a whole ‘nother post.
This is about the post at hand. GREAT letter! Yep. It was stupid. And really, I laughed, I love laughing at stupid people. Feel free to show us more of these shining examples of idiocy.
But stupid doesn’t follow party lines, there are morons all around 🙂
okay – first off, how funny is it that when i read the subject i thought this guy was saying he was disappointed that you’re left-handed!
i just saw margaret cho at the wiltern and she had a whole segment about the people who were sending in hate mail and how no one ever said that they disagreed with her opinions. it was all pure vitriol with no substance. she posted all the messages up on her website (complete with contact information) to show how hilarious they were (after you got over how scary and disappointing they were). people started flooding the senders with their own hate-mail and stuff, and pretty soon she had people writing her back saying, “i didn’t mean it! please get them to leave me alone!”
To Crag R.:
Congratulations on a fantastic use of your caps lock. It was a very bold move and I think it really payed off. Also thank you for limiting it to the second half of your incoherent rambling. This was clearly a situation where less is more, or so you may understand what I mean, LESS IS MORE. You must learn not to take out your Wil frustrations on STNG (Star Trek The Next Generation) though, it is simply unfair to the rest of the wonderful STNG cast. Perhaps a compromise, you can say “FORMER FAN OF NEXT GENERATION EPISODES WITH THE AFFORE MENTIONED WIL WHEATON AS WESLEY CRUSHER”. See. You have then stated your outrage at Wil, BUT (use of caps for effect) have not completely divorced yourself from STNG fandom, which I am sure was your goal all along. In the future when you feel uncontrollable rage at Wil Wheaton (who hasn’t) use these helpful suggestions :
1. Go Die. (Craig you need go no further than this)
2. Refer to 1.
“Go Die”
This is what passes for a joke among liberals? Sorry but did Craig take it that far????
Speaking of STNG, Im not sure why anyone would avoid the show becuase of Wil. TV-Show ended its run in 1994. Its been nothing but the big screen ever since and Wil is not a part of the big screen Star Trek Universe.
“”Go Die” This is what passes for a joke among liberals?” –GW2004
Since most liberals are against the death penalty it could only pass as dark comedy, and even then in poor taste. I not being particularly liberal, but am adamantly against the proliferation of caps locked dialog had no choice but to do my best to help Craig out of what surely is a dead end road. What’s next for him? Will he write all his correspondence with caps locked? Then what? Yes. Necrophilia. It’s not even his fault. He has no choice. It’s in the GOP handbook, page 38 paragraph 4. I am paraphrasing now but the text goes something like this:
You the recipeint of these dark text, etcetera, etcetera… Unholy Kabbalah, etcetera, etcetera… writer with all caps, etcetera, etcetera… will love the bodies of the dead.
Now sadly they actually use the words etcetera in their documents, but the meaning is rather clear I think. Unless he is only intended to love the dead like “friends”, and by “friends” I mean real close friends, so we are back where we started. Craig is a necrophiliac, the sooner we accept it and try to help him the sooner the healing can begin. Now GW2004, you really got me feelin’ a whole heap of bad over here with that ever so subtle name of yours, and your… God I can only describe it as encyclopedic knowlede of STNG. I mean wow! The way you made that big-screen call. I don’t even know if you had a point, but it was dam good. Poetry man. Poetry. At some point somebody is going to have to break the news to Wil that he isn’t in the movies though. I may be crazy but I think he has the chutzpah to take it. Craig may not fair as well though. Look at what he gave up over a couple of ads on a blog and a few comments, just think of what he may do when he finds out he gave up hundreds of hours of entertainment when really all he need to give up was less than a hundred, or a hundred tops. He could join the Green Party! With Craig behind them they would be unstoppable, a caps locked driven juggernaut headed straight for DC. I ask where would our precious STNG be then? Biodegradable keyboards? Oh no need for a shift key, the caps are locked all the time, it’s the law. So GW2004 what I was really trying to accomplish with “Go Die” is to keep the pedestrian, Green Party Necrophiliacs out of the White House, and if that wasn’t plain enough for you then maybe some day I will quote you page 39 of that handbook.
A few quick things
#1 My last post was not meant as a shot at Wil. I was just curious why Craig would post his days of enjoying STNG were over becuase of the Wesley character since we havent seen that character since 1994(actually might have been even earlier, he left before the show ended right?).
#2 You requested that Craig “Go Die”. Thats over the top and you know it.
#3 I completely disagree with Wil’s politics but that has nothing to do with enjoying films and shows he performs in as an actor and it does not mean that I think Wil isnt a good guy. Just as agreeing with his politics doesnt make you his buddy.
You really think your post was funny? Perhaps to someone more concerned with the political message then any present humor in it.
“You really think your post was funny? Perhaps to someone more concerned with the political message then any present humor in it.” –GW2004
Thank you GW2004. You have certainly put me in my place. I still am at a loss to find where I have agreed with Wil’s political views, but you have said it so it must be true, I mean no one can actually post satirical or ironic comments to the internet, that’s just impossible, the result would be chaos, mass hysteria, I shudder to think. What has me the most concerned is this:
“Just as agreeing with his politics doesnt make you his buddy.” –GW2004
Is this true? I will stop posting right now if it is. All of my Wil fantasies dashed asunder. At least Rosie still loves me.
*pausing to recover*
Having now recoverd from my crushing defeat at the proverbial hands of GW2004, this statement struck me:
“Perhaps to someone more concerned with the political message then any present humor in it.” –GW2004
On the surface this statement is gibberish, or is it? If my suspicious are correct, and they rarely are… I mean always are, GW2004 is trying to speak in code. I, having a strong background in cryptography, immediately get to work. My first inkling is that this is actually Chinese. I fire up my trusty firefox web browser and head over to babelfish. I translate this into Traditional Chinese and quickly encounter my first major stumbling block, Chinese makes real cool looking tatoos, but is impossible to read. With this knowledge in hand I then translate the statement back to English and begin a herculean series of translation, then failure, then further translation, until finaly arriving at GW2004’s (if that is even his/her real name?) true message. Transcript follows:
–taken from the secret messages of one GW2004–
I had a small house of brokerage on Wall Street… many days no business come to my hut… my hut… but Jimmy has fear? A thousand times no! I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey strong bowels were girded with strength like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo… dung. …Glorious sunset of my heart was fading. Soon the super karate monkey death car would park in my space. But Jimmy has fancy plans… and pants to match. The monkey clown horrible karate round and yummy like cute small baby chick would beat the donkey.
–end message–
Your ruse is undone GW2004! I think we all know now what you and your monkey strong bowels are capable of. You are as astute in the arts of doublespeak as any I have seen, but you will not fool me any longer, not as long as I have babelfish on my side. Touche sir… Touche.
Dork!
Okay, enough.
This is a blog, not a message board. If you two need to keep this up, please take it someplace else.
I have not read through all the comments but I wanted to put my 2 cents in here. I am a conservative voter, but I have really enjoyed reading your blog on and off since last summer. Not all conservatives are uneducated goons by a long shot and most are open minded. We just tend to keep more quiet. So while I’m not a fan of your political leanings, keep up the good work elsewhere.
Thats understandable Wil. I will cease my back and forth with him.
I’m not certain why some of us are so fired up about Wil’s reply. It didn’t seem that he was directly insulting me for being a conservative, but rather that he was making fun of the original letter and its author.
Now admitedly Wil has made comments in the past that have been directly insulting to anyone conservative, but this wasn’t one of them. I try not to worry too much about those comments becuase Wil doesn’t know me personally, so it can’t really be a personal attack. I don’t know why he often gets so vehement when it comes to people who think differently, but it looks like it would be good therapy for all those people who trashed him as “Crusher” – so if it makes him feel better, I guess I can’t begrudge him a human reaction or two.
But as far as this instance goes. . . I don’t think Wil was dogging anyone but the guy who wrote the letter. It is a shame that some of the rest of us had to make it into “Political bloodbath part 56” instead of leaving Wil’s comments as they were. Wil was trying to be funny. I don’t think he was intentionally attempting to insult or alienate any of his fans.
S. Kelley
Aw man, how come I never get funny e-mail?!
At the same time, it worries me that 50 to 51% of America (a landslide, no doubt) think like this guy.
If the original email is satire (which I hope it is), it’s an amusing piece of satire.
If it’s not, oh boy.
I don’t care for anyone’s political persuation other than my own (a mixed bag that tends to lean to the left), but regardless of your agenda, for the love of God, make your point in a manner that makes you sound like a coherent and intelligent member of society. Spell-check comes with most email programs for free and online dictionaries abound.