set my soul on fire

Late last week, my manager called me.
“Do you want to play poker next week?” He said.
“Chris, I always want to play poker. Where’s the game?”
“It’s in Vegas —” he began.
“I can’t afford to go to Vegas right now,” I said.
He patiently told me to wait, and listen to all the details.
“Sorry, Chris. My brain is going in a million directions right now. We open the ACME show on Saturday, and . . . well, just a whole bunch of other stuff.”
“Okay, here’s the situation: World Poker Tour has invited you to play in the WPT Championship next week.”
“Well, that’s really cool, but I don’t have twenty-five thousand dollars to spend on a poker tournament.” I said.
He laughed. “You’re freerolling!”
He explained that Mekhai Pfeiffer, who finished first in my Hollywood Homegame, and Andrea Parker, who finished second, couldn’t make it out to the tournament.
“So I’m the Secretary of the Navy!” I said.
“What?”
“You know, I’m next in the line of succession.”
“Isn’t that the Speaker of the House?”
“I don’t know, and now the joke isn’t funny.”
Of course, it wasn’t funny to begin with, but Chris was too polite to say what we were both thinking.
“So do you want to play?”
“Let me think about it for a second. YES! How many days is the tournament?”
“It starts Monday, and goes through until Sunday.”
“Oh, shit.”
“What?”
“I can’t go. I’m performing Dancing Barefoot on Wednesday, and I’m doing the sketch show on Saturday.”
“What do you want to do?”
The question, translated into the secret sideband which accompanies many of our conversations was actually, “Do you want to blow off your shows at ACME so you can play poker in Vegas?”
“Well,” I said, “I’m not going to blow off ACME so I can play poker in Vegas.”
“Oh, good, that’s sort of what I was wondering.” He said.
“But if I’m even still alive by Wednesday, they could just blind me away while I’m in Hollywood . . .” I said, “Yeah! I’ll come home for the shows, and they’ll just blind me away!”
“Doesn’t that mean you’ll bust out?”
“Maybe. That doesn’t matter. I could write a great story about this, like one that could get into a magazine or something!”
I’ve been secretly working on a poker book for a few months. It’s an anthology of stories that I’ve published on my blog, and it needs one more longish story before it’s something I can publish.
The Writer said, “Chris, no matter what happens, I am going to get a great story out of this. Can you imagine? If I was in the pack at the top, and I had to leave to come back to Los Angeles to do a show? That would be really dramatic! Or if I’m short-stacked, and I know that I have to go home anyway, so I get really agressive, and pick up a bunch of pots . . . so I get into the top pack and have to leave anyway?! This is going to be so cool!”
Though I was sitting on the couch when the phone rang, I was now excitedly pacing around my house. I walked through my kitchen and into my back yard, scattering about two dozen birds off the feeders as I passed them on the patio.
I stood on the grass in my bare feet, and had a thought. What if it’s going to suck for WPT that they’re giving me a freeroll into this tournament, but I have to leave in the middle of it? Would that be lame?
“Okay, I think you should call them, and tell them that I want to play, but explain that I have to come home no matter what. If that is going to suck for them, they can move down to the next player on the list, and I’ll completely understand.”
“I’ll do that, and call you back.”
We hung up, and I ran back inside to my office. I grabbed all my poker books off my shelf, and started reviewing. I’m a good limit player, and I’m great in live games . . . but I don’t have a whole lot of tournament experience. Maybe I could get some help from TJ, and Doyle, and Mike Caro . . .
I sat down on my floor, and started reading. As I absorbed advice from the masters, I felt like I was getting back on a bike.
About thirty minutes went by. I underlined passages, used post-its for bookmarks . . . and realized that I was unconsciously doing what I read about in Positively Fifth Street.
“Oh man, I could write my version of Positively Fifth Street!”
The phone rang. It was Chris.
“Hello?”
“You’re going to Vegas!”
I took the phone away from my head, and shouted out in excitement.
“You’ll have to take care of your travel and meals, but they’ll get your room. Is that okay?” He said.
“Yeah! That’s fine. Are they okay with me leaving?”
“They’re fine with it.” He paused. “Do you think you’ll really be live on Wednesday?”
“I don’t know,” I said. I looked down at the pile of books scattered across the floor. “I’m already over my head,” I thought.
“I’m just going to do my best, have fun, and try to get a good story out of it.” I said. “Chris, this could be my version of Positively Fifth Street!”
“Uh, Wil,” he said, “don’t you need to make the final table if you want to do that?”
“Oh. Right. That.” I said. “Well, maybe it’ll be called Positively Short Stacked.”
He laughed, because it was funny. I laughed because I was embarrassed. Who was I kidding?
“Have a great time while you’re there, and keep me updated.” He said.
“I will.”

So here I am, at the start of a week in (and out of) Vegas. I flew in yesterday afternoon, and just found out about fifteen minutes ago that I don’t start playing until tomorrow at noon. Which is good because I need to write two Games of our Lives columns, and prepare for my Dancing Barefoot reading on Wednesday. And it wouldn’t hurt to get some practice playing in a few live games today.

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34 thoughts on “set my soul on fire”

  4. Dig the shiny Vegas lights, Wheaton! SEE lovely ladies all night long! BE AMAZED by sights no man has ever seen before! SLEEP during hours most sane people use to conduct business!
    Good luck, Wheaton. Your posse’s pulling for you.

  6. Oooh! I’ve been looking for a reason to play a Cock Block of the King. This is it!
    Tomorrow, we’ll all be sending some good ju-ju your way.
    So, when you get those pocket bullets: they’re from me.
    –AJ @ El fiesta del huevos radios

  8. Wil,
    For the love of Jesus, if you’re doing well in the WPT championships YOU CAN’T LEAVE!!!
    You know what the prize payouts are going to be? If you’ve got a chance to win, YOU CAN’T LEAVE!!!
    Besides, all the plants will die.

  12. good luck with it! i’ve always found this can make for the most fun with things — agreeing to and jamming in yet one more event even when you have no time and your head is already spinning. there’s something in it owing to physics & momentum and adrenaline & endorphins, i’m sure.
    may lady luck smile upon you and the cards fall kindly; wishing you *at least* one straight flush draw and some well-timed suck outs. :] all in baby!

  13. Good luck, Wil! Have loads of fun, and I can’t wait to hear about the stories that will come out of this. =)

  16. Hey Wil,
    Good luck in your poker game and your show Wednesday!! If anyone deserves some good luck it is you all the way! We are all cheering for you!! Hope you and your family are doing great!

  17. Wil Wheaton in the WPT? All I can say is that I hope you have the chance to whip all over Chris Moneymaker!
    Good luck to you, and if you can’t find a story in Sin City, no one can. You’re a storyteller from way back, and damn good at it.
    One word of advice: Go all in on a pair of 8’s.

  18. I want a PowerPoint presentation of your current WPT standing with pictures and star wipes at the “Dancing Barefoot” on Wednesday.

  19. “Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Five years later? Six? It seems like a lifetime, or at least a main era—the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run, but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.”
    Good luck to you Wil! Don’t get the FEAR!

  23. Hey Wil.
    Hope the show goes as well as your WPT run. Judging from the prepping on both sides, they’ll never know what’s coming.
    Nines or better, ALL IN. Be a pot monster… Well, you know what I mean. :0)

  24. Yow! Cheat Commandos, ROCK ROCK ON! If I were getting comped into the WPT championships, I know I wouldn’t have any trouble deciding to go…glad you’re able to make it out there!
    Of course, what would be cool would be if you could fly back to do your show on Wednesday, and fly back out to Vegas to find out that you were still, despite all appearances, live in the tournament. It’d be a feat a little like Phil Collins managing to perform at both the London and New York Live Aid shows…you’d probably need a chartered jet to pull it off though.
    However this turns out, I know I’m gonna want to read all about it. Have fun, and remember, if you limp with aces, you will never go broke with aces!

  25. Hey Wil, good luck at WPT, and if you feel the need to get out for lunch, I’m working over at the new Wynn place, and we break for lunch at the fashion mall at around 11 to 12 😉
    *sends vegas local mojo*
    Mike

  27. w00t! Way to go, Wil. Vegas is a great town.
    Last summer I stayed at the Horseshoe for a week. It just happened to be the week of the WSOP. I remember walking around, watching all the players concentrating (or trying to distract other players) and thinking how cool it all was.
    I’m sure I probably rubbed elbows with some of your poker idols, although I can’t recognize ANYBODY unless there’s a TV camera between me and them so I wouldn’t have known. Unless Chris Ferguson had knocked me over…I might have noticed then. He’s kind of hard to ignore.
    The main room was one floor down from me. I couldn’t get in, but every day I stood outside and watched them update the standings boards and wished I was inside for the main event.
    It was totally frickin’ AWESOME. You would have loved being there.
    The whole thing makes me a little nostaligic since the whole tourney won’t be held there next year. I didn’t even have enough cash to pick up a WSOP souvenir from the cheesy little hotel store. But I was there in 2004. And come on, how many people can say that? ^_^
    P.S. You should totally grab me some WPT swag. For, you know, good luck.

  28. Hey Wil, if you get bored, you can alway stir up some trouble at the “Janet Air” terminal just behind the San Remo Hotel (to its South). Might make a good blog.
    I’m sure that you know Janet Air is the government contracted airlines that takes the Area 51 employees to work and back. They are the unmarked smaller white jet planes with red burgundy strip down the side. You see them flying around in the mornings and late afternoons.
    Someone I know had the opportunity to fly “Janet Air” a while back but decided to get a Lincoln Towncar and do the 3 hour drive instead. I would have flown instead, just to say I did.
    HAVE A KILLER ASS TIME WIL!
    DUMB QUESTION: Are you going to go to the Star Trek Experience at the Hilton???? Might be fun, scare the crap out of the tourists, have the “cast” get you to man your regular station on the Enterprise Bridge for a few hours. NO ONE would believe it was you. NOW THAT WOULD MAKE A KICK ASS BLOG.
    If I saw you on the bridge, I would probably pass out. You were always my favorite.
    🙂 Kel

  29. Woo Hoo!!! Vegas Baby Vegas!! I love Vegas!! It is my vegas dream to stay at the Bellagio someday. HAH! Back in 2002, a friend and i drove from Dallas to Las Vegas. We stayed 3 weeks… woohoo!! A friend of ours used to live there. She had a big house with a pool. We had such a wonderful time. It was like being away on holiday. I was on a teachers salary then and had to budget myself by only spend so much a day. Luckily, one sometimes gets a little lucky and wins the money that was spent back… which is what happened to me. yeah!!
    Good Luck to you, Wil Wheaton!!!

  30. DAMN!!! I’m gonna be in Vegas NEXT week. To get married and see Steve Vai in concert.
    Would have been cool to top it off with a Wil sighting.

  32. You can be the Secretary of the Navy if you want to. Hell, for the purposes of the WPT, you ARE the Secretary of the Navy. Besides, those white uniforms are killer.

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