Though I didn’t make the final table, last night’s Poker Smoker was a lot of fun. I got a box of Camacho cigars, just for showing up! And if you haven’t ever been up to Yamashiro, (until last night, I hadn’t — even though I’ve lived here for nearly 33 years) I suggest adding it to your list of great places to visit in Los Angeles. It’s on top of a hill in Hollywood, and the view is breathtaking. From my seat in the bar I could see the Griffith Observatory, Dodger Stadium, The Capitol Records Building and all of Hollywood, Downtown Los Angeles, Baldwin Hills, and out to Century City. If it had been clear, I could have easily seen across Santa Monica and down past Palos Verdes to the ocean. I don’t know anything about the food or service, but the view is just incredible.
(Note: I will now do my best to describe a bit of the poker tournament in language normal people can understand. It may help to have the Wikipedia’s Hold’Em entry open in another window, though.)
I play conservatively. This means that I don’t like to bet before the flop without a “made hand”: a big pair, or a very strong drawing hand like an ace and a king, or a jack and a ten of the same suit (and even that jack and ten I really hate to play if I am in early position.) I also like to raise, rather than call, because it’s usually a stronger way to play. In most situations, this gives me something called “fold equity.” What that means is, players who are paying attention to me will figure out that I only open when I’ve got a hand, and I rarely just call, so if a few players have checked ahead of me, and there’s a big card or something on the board, if I bet at it, they will fold, because my playing style says I probably have them beat. (Sometimes this doesn’t work, and ends up costing me a lot of chips, but I won’t go into why that happens today . . . I’d really have to speak in ancient Pokerian to explain it.)
Unfortunately for me, a cold deck (lousy cards that I really can’t play) and two calling-stations (players who call any bet with any two cards, hoping to get lucky) behind me made it really hard for me to out-play anyone.
But mostly it was the structure that killed me. We started with 1000 in tournament chips. The blinds started at 25 and 25, and went up every 15 minutes. There were unlimited rebuys until the fifth level, so the first few levels were all-in crapshoots. The guy to my right sucked out twice with incredibly weak hands (one of them was a suited Jack three. A real powerhouse.) So I was one of two people at my table who didn’t rebuy. If I can drop a name for a moment, the other was Jason Mewes, who seems like one of the nicest, most down to earth people in the world. As far as I could tell, he’s a pretty solid cardplayer, too.
I survived — barely — until level 5, when the blinds went up to 200/400 with a 50 dollar ante. I’d stolen a few blinds, and picked up a few pots, but I’d been blinded down to 800, so I was in “double up or go home” mode when I found AJd in the big blind.
The guy under the gun went all-in quickly. He’d just sat down, so I didn’t know if he was trying to steal a blind from the short-stack, or what . . . but it was the strongest hand I’d seen all night, so I was calling no matter what. It was folded around to me. I pushed, and he turned up, incredibly, the Ace of clubs and the five of diamonds.
What the fuck? You go all-in with that crap under the gun? I gotta get this guy’s number and invite him to a homegame!
The flop was J-A-7. Sweet.
The turn was another J. Jacks full, baby!
An excited murmur rippled across the table
And then, the river . . . an ace. Perfect. It gave us both Aces full of Jacks, and we chopped. Instead of doubling up, I halved-up, and I was right back where I started. When the small blind hit me for 200 on the next hand, I pushed in the dark. When the flop came K-8-x, I peeked at my cards: a black ten and a red six. I wasn’t surprised, because this was the bullshit I was getting dealt all night.
I forget the way the hand played out, but Mr. All-in with a tiny unsuited Ace pushed again, and this time he made two pair with his king-little, I think on the turn, to beat the other guy’s medium ace.
I mucked my cards in disgust, and stood up. I shook hands around the table, picked up my monkey, and walked out to the valet. I looked out across Los Angeles while I waited for my car.
If you don’t read comments, you missed the following thought yesterday, from WWdN reader ruddyadam:
That clock is pretty insane. Kind of makes you realize that the reality we exist in is only one moment in time. And no matter how hard you try, you can’t hang on to a moment longer than it is here. Once it’s gone, you can only remember it, but really it will never be back again.
A cold deck in a loose/aggressive game is the most frustrating thing in the world to me, and I was pissed when I stood at the valet and waited for my car, but it hadn’t cost me anything (other than 4 bucks for a watered-down coke and six bucks for the valet), and there are much worse ways to spend a Thursday night than smoking cigars and playing poker . . . so I looked out at the twinkling lights of my city, the Griffith Observatory, Dodger Stadium, The Capitol Records Building and all of Hollywood, Downtown Los Angeles . . . and enjoyed the moment.
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Way too cool! I love reading the poker blogs you write. I am looking forward to the book. How about another taste to whet the appetite? You seem to notice the most minute details about the other players. Also, I agree with another comment posted a few days ago, you are talented enough a writer, so why not try some fiction. Loyal fan base…. thousands of advanced copies paid for a month before release….hmmmmm
I’m first! Meh.
I can’t believe you put that excellent, profound quote in the middle of a post about poker and cigars.
Fantastic juxtapositioning!
–AJ
Drat, Jayep, curses!!
*shakes fist*
*Mutley mutters something*
/stop that pigeon
I say there are a quite a lot of worse ways of spending the evening than with “Jay”, a bunch of guys playing poker, and doing what you like.
You’ve always impressed me that you can take a step back and enjoy life for what you have now, and you’re not always focusing on the next goal.
It’s what makes you a great actor… and a fucking awesome author…
Yes, I said it… author…
That’s admirable – being able to recover from that beat so quickly.
You’re a bigger man than me, Wil… I would have been fuming about that bad play all night. Fuming on the inside, mind you (I’m no Hellmuth-like crybaby), but fuming nonetheless.
A few cigars, hanging with Jay (hey Chronic wears Blunt Man, snoogans!), all in all, not a bad way to spend an evening. Sorry the game didn’t go your way, maybe next time…
Typical situation…so you took out Crash and put in Under the Table and Dreaming? Good choice.
I don’t speak Poker…but I like your taste in music.
Heh… Don’t know much about Jay, but I like the poker. Jacks full, nice hand. Sorry you only split it with the other guy, but hey, that’s poker.
Now, I would like to get a difinative answer here Wil. You don’t care about the feed to LiveJournal, do you?
The reason I ask is because I have it set so I can see when you update here, by watching it there. There was some invalid code on this post, and that translated over, and it looks horrid. I know you can’t do anything about it, and I’m not asking you to or complaining about it. Others, however, are complaining in the comments there, and I’m defending you, so I am asking your views on that feed.
Just curious. Nothing offensive meant.
I’ll second that whole “great author” thing. You’re a great artist in general.
Now I SO hope I bought the book in time!
Daven: If you ask me, the real question that’s sweeping the nation is . . . what do those people do when they’re not complaining?
But that’s not what you asked, so the answer to your question: No, I don’t.
Let me repeat this, in case there is any confusion: No, I do not. At all. Once, I did, but now it’s become a source of endless frustration and countless complaints from entitled crybabies who need to shut up.
I’m sure there are lots of very cool people who are members of the Live Journal community (I know that for a fact, actually, because I personally know several cool LJ users) and I hope they will realize the following comments aren’t directed at them:
I’m happy that there are people who enjoy the convenience of subscribing to a Live Journal feed that I didn’t create or maintain, but making those people happy isn’t at the top of my list. In fact, it’s not at the bottom of my list . . . it’s not even on my list.
I do everything I can to make sure my html is mostly valid, but occasionally I — gasp — fuck up and forget to close a tag, or I put a < where there should be a >. When I catch the error (or someone kindly points it out to me) I fix it as quickly as I can. But I’ve completely had it with the whining. Grow up, people!
It’s like a bunch of gradeschoolers who get free ice cream, but they’re throwing a temper tantrum because they didn’t get the flavor they wanted. Or there weren’t enough chocolate jimmies. Or they wanted sugar cones and all they got were cake cones. It was free, you idiot! Say thank you and move along!
Put another way: If someone bought a book from me, and when it arrived it was severely damaged, they would have a legitimate complaint. I would feel obligated to replace it, refund their money, or (in some circumstances) both.
However, if I gave someone a book for free, and it had a coffee stain on the title page, or the cover was torn a little bit, or even if a few pages had gone missing for some reason . . . and that person had the nerve to demand that I replace it? Or they didn’t like chapter five, so they demanded that I cut it out by hand and give it back to them . . . well, that person can take that free book and shove it.
I’ve spent way too much time and energy dealing with this shit, so this is the last time I’m going to address the question: I don’t read it. I don’t maintain it. I didn’t create it. If you enjoy it, that’s great. But if you’re going to complain about it, don’t waste my time. And if you’re a Live Journal reader, don’t waste any of your time defending me, either. It’s just not worth the hassle.
Sounds like your getting all my cards… 🙂
I have been getting delt CRAP…..
mathmatically it should all work out…. (God I hate math sometimes…)
Michael
“if I gave someone a book for free, and it had a coffee stain on the title page, or the cover was torn a little bit, or even if a few pages had gone missing for some reason . . .”
If you gave THAT book for free, provided I could get to read the missing text (if any) someplace else, your coffee stains, pet hair, sneeze spray and any/all other imperfections would say to me, “Damn! Any poo-flinging monkey can scribble with a sharpie: This is a REAL “signed copy.”
I have a a few copies that look just like it that were passed to me from my Dad’s collection. He may not have written them, but his personality is etched in them all.
Look at it this way. Every time you get dealt crap cards and barely hang on to the fifth round, only to be beat by some weenie with barely-decent cards, it’s still a learning experience. The poker version of paying your dues. And hey, you can still blog!
On another note: Jason Mewes? Down to earth? You’re shitting me.
Wheee, I just said shit on a comment! Twice!
Wil,
Fair enough. Thank you for answering in such length.
I enjoy reading your stuff. Keep it up, I need entertainment. LOL
I hate playing in tournaments with overly fast structures, too.
But when you’re stuck with them, I think you need to loosen up a bit and play a bit faster. If the blinds rise as high as half of your initial stack in only an hour, you need to try to steal probably at least once every three times around if you don’t get a good hand, even if it means you might bust out.
About the guy that went all-in with A-x with the short stack – I don’t don’t think that’s that bad of a move at that point in the tournament. You definitely can’t afford to wait for a premium hand if the blinds are moving up that fast.
That’s a horrible suckout, though. Heh, counterfeiting never seems to work in my favor.
I’ve had long arguments with people about the word “jimmies.” I happen to prefer it over the alternative “sprinkles” or “shots,” but I’ve had many people look at me in utter confusion when I order my soft-serve with “Jimmies.” It’s like the whole pop, cola, soda, tonic thing.
wil,
sorry you didn’t find the “heart of the cards” Better luck next time. I’ve got to learn how to be a better poker player. Every time I play people can read my face and know what kind of cards I got.
I’m writing this as I play a low fee multi-table tourney. Currently sitting 189th of 278. 1159 started 1.5 hours ago…
Anyway, as I read this line – The guy to my right sucked out twice with incredibly weak hands (one of them was a suited Jack three. A real powerhouse.) – I was dealt Jh3h. Of course, I folded!
I don’t know much about poker ( which is super sad given I live in Reno, Nv!) but I find myself enraptured nonetheless by your blogs on poker. And most importantly, this is the second blog in the span of 3 days that you used a Dave Matthews Band song title for your title, for that alone, I love you man!!! You rock!!!
Hey Wil.
Sorry to hear that you couldn’t pull in a nice starting hand on those loose players. Nothing is more frustrating than having to wait on a hand when you have those type of players in the game.
I know the feeling. Your thinking “If this dude raises my big blind again I’m gonna go ape shit!” Knowing the whole time dude is probably sitting on J8o. That is when you have to stick to your guns. You played the way you should have played. Continue, and one of these days you will be a massive chip leader over the overly aggresive player. I really hate rebuys. I find it is a game for wreakless players. I prefer a one time buy in. Anyway, good luck to you Wil.
Marty B.
Cool to hear that Jason Mewes is a good guy.
I’ve always like Kevin Smith, and I suspect he’s a nice guy, while always being willing to tell you what he reall thinks. Hard to tell with Mewes, however, because he’s not interviewed as much.
Looks like Mewes has been getting a lot of non-Kevin-Smith-related gigs. Good for him!
Thanks, Wil, for letting us live vicariously through you.
Hmmh…over on WCP on Xbox Live (in the low-buy SNG tourneys), I’m pretty much forced to be a “calling station” preflop, ‘cos everybody else is. Very few people fold preflop, but very few people raise preflop, either. Since it doesn’t cost much (starting chips are $1000, initial blinds are $5/$10, no ante, and it takes awhile for the blinds to really get significant), I suppose there’s not much harm in it, at least early on…and, by the time the blinds get really significant, say $30/$60 and up, it’s usually down to heads-up where I’m playing “any two cards” anyhow. (Most likely, some fool will have tried to go all-in on the first hand; when that happens, I fold and get out of their way so those of us interested in real play can get back to it ASAP minus the fool.)
Interesting comparing our playing styles there. Sorry you didn’t win this one, but there’s always another day.
What are you doing, Wil? You are telling everybody how to play against you. It’s like you’re pulling a Doyle Brunson without having won the big pot a couple of times first.
I’ve gotten into a series of local home games and all I let out about my strategy is that I’m a really, really bad player — which is working pretty well since I’m currently ranked 5 of 35.
Under the Table and Dreaming is my favorite DMB album. 🙂 I write to it a lot. Maybe next week your titles will be from Stand Up? Okay, you’ve put me in poker mode so I’m off to play a little NL Hold’em.
As for Live Journal, I don’t know anything about it and I don’t want to. As long as everyone can go directly to the source, why bother pandering to other people’s feeds?
Have a good weekend everyone.
Hey Wil, great message man, sucks to people that tear down what you put out there for other’s to read for free. I have you to thank for getting me back on the game at ultimate bet, and I flopped rolled up quad A’s on my sitting, how hot is that? POKER ON!
You know, I’ve been wanting to join the fun and comment on this site, but I haven’t been able to join Typekey … because I haven’t been able to successfully read that jumbled number/letter code they have you enter. Every time I’ve tried, I’ve read it incorrectly, until now! Anyway, why do old people prefer bridge to poker? I’ve always wondered that.
Let me be the first to say that this thread needs much more chocolate jimmies.
–AJ
Ah yes, I can picture that view now. Well, except for Dodger stadium, they left that out of GTA:SA. Seriously though, I think it is remarkable how much I’ve learned about LA, SF and Miami from video games. Not all of it accurate, but its surprising how often I see something in a movie or a picture or one of Wil’s descriptions of The City and “recognize” it. And some people think that because a game lets you shoot cops and beat up hookers, it doesn’t have any educational value.
What’s wrong with LiveJournal?
And Jason Mewes? Didn’t he go missing for awhile like a year ago, and everyone (including Kevin Smith) thought he was dead, but turns out he was in jail? I thought he was still there.
Again, what’s wrong with LiveJournal?
Wil
Wil,
I’m wondering why your responses to comments are so snappy, sometimes even rude.
I’ve read your blog for over a year now, and i’ve been here through the good and the bad. You make yourself seem very cheery and upbeat in your posts, but in response to comments you are dark – and sometimes really rude.
I was talking to a man who had a bad experience with you and your wife at a star trek convention. Apparently he didn’t know that you required $10 for your autograph, his brother was in a wheelchair and he explained he didn’t have the $10. Your wife, Anne, simply said “then wheel your crippled ass out of the way,we’re here to make money, not give out charity!”
I’m wondering if your cat is even dead. It sounds to me like you’re fishing for money maybe. Even if you are, you’ve got every right to scam your readers.
Kinda.
Good luck raising money.
-Carl DeReese
I play the exact same way you do, Wil. I’ve never read a poker strat, or talked to any good players either, so it’s good to know that I’m not the only one. I’ve had some success playing this way, but like any type of gambling I’ve had my ups and downs.
Carl, I want to be clear about what you’re saying. You question Wil’s integrity, you slander his wife, you impute that they have lied about something so painful as the loss of a pet, and he’s the rude one?
I must have missed a step somewhere.
Carl: The slanderous lie you’ve repeated here has been around for a few months. It’s completely false, but if you want to believe it, go right ahead. I mean if it’s on the internet, it must be true. Especially if it’s posted anonymously.
But you know what’s so weird, Carl? I just get the strangest feeling that it was you who created this story that slanders me and my wife. You know that slander is a pretty serious offense, right?
There’s nothing worse than being cruel to a dirt poor handicapped man (except maybe a dirt poor handicapped child). I mean, if “Carl” heard it from an unnamed man (aka – a complete stranger) then it must be true. Plus, it’s obvious you’re all about the money. That’s why we all pay monthly fees to subscribe to your blog, right?
And there’s nothing darker than comments like, “Thanks for the advice on the downspout. I tried to put a washcloth in there about a year ago, and it worked great . . . until we had a huge storm that spit it out onto the lawn like a hairball.”
And clearly the battle to save the lives of your two beloved kitties was all a clever rouse planned a year in advance and executed to perfection so you could sell a few autographed books that would surely go for much, much more if put up on ebay.
Jeez. What’s with all the trolls lately. You must be getting more popular, Wil.
I like reading about great poker adventures. I remember not so long ago, when I had no idea why there were cards face up in the middle of the table. Ah, hold’em, where have you been all my life.
…oh, in Texas I suppose. 🙂
I think Carl DeReese is woefully misguided. I heard it was Brannon Bragga and his wife, and the quote was “then wheel your DISABLED ass out of the way, we’re here to make money, not give out charity!”
I may be mistaken, though.
Hi Will,
We just came across your blog and must admit we have enjoyed reading your poker contributions! We play texas over here in Scotland online and live. We were just wondering if you play online and what your handle is so we can have a game, now that we know your strategy and all that……
If you are interested, our blog is at http://www.nicncher.blogspot.com and is on Search Engine Marketing.
Laterrrrr.
Carl,
I was talking to a man who had a bad experience with you and your wife at a star trek convention. Apparently he didn’t know that you required $10 for your autograph, his brother was in a wheelchair and he explained he didn’t have the $10. Your wife, Anne, simply said “then wheel your crippled ass out of the way,we’re here to make money, not give out charity!”
This is a very serious accusation. One assumes that you have serious evidence to back this up. Like, who the person was that got dissed by Anne. And what convention, and the date that it happened. Presumably someone going to a con to get autographs is going to be serious enough to take photos of themselves, if not some of the celeb guests. If it’s true that a “man who had a bad experience” talked to you, then put up your coraborative evidence on your own web site and direct us commentors to it so that we can judge for ourselves.
If you don’t have any, then stop posting crap like that.
The first movie I was ever taken to ‘see’ was StarWars, Episode IV. It came out in ’77. I was born in ’78. For as long as I can remember, Sci-Fi, and specifically Star Wars and Star Trek, have been in my life. Some of my earliest memories are of my father explaining how warp drive worked while we watched eipsodes of the original series. And then… TNG premiered. I was young enough to be blown away by it, but old enough to feel, I don’t know – left out? And then tis angsty ensign by the name of Wesley Crusher appeared, and my life changed.
For the first time there was someone on the screen that I coudl relate to, and identify with, and envy all to Hells. (You can’t tell me you never wished fervently that the Holodeck were real.) I wasn’t really old enough for the whole puberty/teen age crush on a Tv heart throb thing, but you were the be all end all of my existence. You even took the place of Princess Leia in my daydreams about escaping from this awful planet and going into space and having adventures.
We all have our childhood sob stories. Mine was ye olde orbidly obese kid in an emotionally abusive household. At one point I was so mentally ill that I blocked out everything. I mean 4 years of everything. I lived completely inside my own head, entirely oblivious to the world around me. What I do remember from that time are two things. A single, shattering day when I was seven, and you. To keep from crying myself to sleep, I wouldn’t Mary Sue myself onto the Enterprise, but in my head I’d find an infinite number of ways to be on that ship, to know Wesley, and be friends with him. More and more though, in my imaginings, I wasn’t on the Enterprise. I was on the the set of the Enterprise. I was myself, and you were Wil Wheaton, and we were co-workers on a television show. That’s when I started wondering who YOU were, not Wesley.
Fast forward several years. TNG is no longer by a decade or so, and ST:Enterprise is getting cancelled. The last movie wasn’t a smash success. I heard someone mention something about how ‘the guy who played Wesley Crusher’ was getting famous again for some internet journal he was keeping. And so yea, life got in the way and it’s only in the last few weeks that I finally sat down and typed out the address for this website. Lo and behold, you’re still here. Not only are you still acting, but you’re writing. And what’s more – you’re letting the world know who you are, free of charge, without gimmicks or fan clubs or publicists deciding what information gets released. It’s like… reliving one of the most painful parts of my past, but being able to have that dream of knowing you come true. And all those times I would sit and imagine what you were like can’t hold a thing to who you really are: phenomonal.
Wait, you mean I just wrote out all that shit to tell you you were fabulous? Pretty much. I’d been trying to figure out what I wanted to say if I grew the balls to comment here, and when I finally sat down to write it… I rambled. I do that. Bad habit. And I could write the thousand and one ways that you’re fabulous. I could spend hours writing about how I feel like I’ve reclaimed a part of my childhood that I thought was gone from me. In short, I could write and write about me. But I’ve done that enough. So I’ll just say these things:
Your wife is beautiful.
Being a cat person, you have my deepest condolence on the recent passing of your kitties.
I wish I weren’t a poor college student so I could come and see one of your performances.
I have nothing but complete respect for you.
I’m blown away by your courage to open your life to so many people.
I don’t see Wesley anymore when I look at the icon on the top of your page, I see Wil Wheaton.
Jess
Heh Wil. You said Griffith Observatory. One of my favorite places in all of L.A. And, I’m working on a project for them right now! Cool….
😉
Just read the commentary from “Carl DeReese” — not even original Carl. Not even original. Now go get a life somewhere else because you’re not having too much luck getting one by dissing somebody with a story that a) you probably know isn’t true, b) or you “heard from a friend of a friend, etc.” or c) didn’t bother to check out before posting because you wanted to show us what you’re made of.
Sorry, it just doesn’t wash. If you’ve read this blog as long as you say you have, you would know Wil isn’t what you made him up to be.
Gawd, nothing makes me madder than ignorant pricks who post trash talk to make themselves look like Important People. Wil, I can only imagine what guts it takes for you to put up with this shit without blowing a gasket.
Jess: Wow. Thank you.
A couple of days ago, my friend Chris and I were talking about the people at the Dungeon Magazine website who have nothing but bad things to say about my column, or the Atariage forum people who said that I should “die” because I didn’t like a game that they liked. We talked about some of the other people who are giving me a ton of crap all the time, and I wondered just what the hell their collective problem was. I realize that it’s not possible to please everyone, and there are people who are just going to complain no matter what anyone does . . . but since I consider myself One Of Them, it still stings a little bit when [Geeks / Nerds / Trekkers / Trekkies / Star Wars Fans / RPG Nerds / Whatver] decide to attack me and my work, especially when it seems like they’re doing it because I used to play Wesley on Star Trek.
Chris observed that [Geeks / Nerds / Trekkers / Trekkies / Star Wars Fans / RPG Nerds / Whatver] rarely say “thank you,” or “good job,” or offer praise when something good happens in our world. When Peter Jackson made an almost-perfect LotR, they didn’t line up to thank him for brining Middle Earth to life: they bitched and cried that Tom Bombadil wasn’t in the first movie. When Sam Rami made Spiderman, and proved to Hollywood that comic book movies could not suck and be accessible to a mainstream audience, they complained that Peter Parker’s webs were biometric.
Those complainers wouldn’t be able to do anything more creative than draw a dungeon out on a sheet of graph paper or write five hundred words of Usenet Slash . . . but they correct us when we don’t meet their personal expectations, and criticize just about everything we do.
Then there are people like you. You are the people we make these things for. Thank you, so much, for taking the time to share with me what TNG meant to you, and why. One of the incredible benefits that comes with working on something like Star Trek is the ability to somehow touch someone’s life who I will most likely never meet, without ever knowing it.
Thanks for letting me know it, Jess. 🙂
Wil,
I hope you have better luck at the poker table, in your next game. You seem to handle the wins and losses, well.
You are right about the LA view from the top of a hill or mountain, at night. It is always a great light show. I thought just the visitor’s noticed this fact.
FG
Mr. Wheaton,
Yea… I wanted to reply, having read your instructions on encryption and the like, but not being very technologically advanced, I had no idea how to do it. So I opted for this instead.
It’s 4:30 Am here, and I’ve just come home after spending several hours plaing the new Splinter Cell game. Ok, several hours wherein I shot my partner more than I shot the enemy, and routinely fell off walls and ledges to my death. Gimme Diablo II, I rock the casbah. Make me think about it, or worse, scare the bejesus out of me by making me wander through foggy, creepy towns and cringe every time I know I have to open a door(only to find pyramid heads and freaky dead nurses with sledgehammers[not that I don’t ADORE the Silent Hill games and crave them day and night, I just can’t sleep for weeks on end after I play them]), and I don’t do so well.
Anyway, nearly 5 in the morning, I’m even more rambly than usual. I got all teary eyed that you replied to my post. It means the world to me that you did that, and of course instead of studying for my last final of this semester, I spent hours trying to figure out how, or if, I could turn this random moment into an avenue to open a dialogue, to ‘chat’, as it were, even through these glorified ones and zeros we call the internet. But my best friend pointed out a very simle, but undeniable fact. “Do you really think this man has the time to talk to you, even through e-mail or his blog or by any means? He has a life Jess, you’re just one of countless others. You should be happy he acknowledged you existence and quit pestering him.” And he’s right.
Again with the rambly. I never did learn how to just get to the frelling point. Moving along…
I re-read my original post, and something struck me. I didn’t want to leave you the impression that it was all Star Trek. Yes, ST did have and continues to have a major impact on my life. But I think that’s in large part because You were there. Someone my age, who I could relate to. And as I said in my LJ the other day, there were two people who really kind of defined my childhood for me, and all the hopes and dreams I had with it. You, Wil Wheaton, and another actor who committed suicide last year. So yea, wouldn’t it be a wonderful dream come true to be able to strike up conversation with you, but you have a rich and full life as it is, and a busy one, and so just being able to know you through your blog is spectacular, too.
In my head this was much more concise and to the point. Apologies for the ambiguity and rambliness. I think I should hie myself off to bed since I do have a final to take tomorrow.
Soon as my financial aid money comes in next month I’m splurgin’ to get your two books. I should’ve gotten them long ere now.
Dude, you SO rock the casbah.
Jess