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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

do they wear plaid in china? or leather in bombay?

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no-clue.jpg
A week ago, while I folded clothes and put laundry away, I realized that most of my T-shirts were pretty much worn out.
So I decided to do a little online shopping at Think Geek.
I picked up a couple of cool shirts, including The Geek Workshirt and The Wargames T-shirt. I got a T-shirt for Ryan that says “Schrödinger’s Cat is dead” on the front, and “Schrödinger’s Cat is alive” on the back, and I picked up this hilarious shirt for myself that says

> SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue > 0
0 rows returned
.

I decided that I’d wear my hilarious SQL query shirt today, so when I got out of the shower, I grabbed it off the counter, pulled it on over my head . . . and realized that I’d put it on backwards.
0 rows returned, indeed.

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17 June, 2005 Wil

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Happy Father’s Day, Dad! → ← i am not a number! i am, rather, a series of numbers, painted across my fingernails

55 thoughts on “do they wear plaid in china? or leather in bombay?”

  1. buntz says:
    17 June, 2005 at 11:29 am

    Ok, that may cross the line from Geek to Nerd.
    But I’m just kidding since I LOVE the Wargames shirt!

  2. Quincey says:
    17 June, 2005 at 11:38 am

    Cool threads Wil. 🙂 But don’t you think it is too early to be putting clothes on backwards? *laughs* Drinking that beer already, huh? 🙂

  3. AJ says:
    17 June, 2005 at 11:49 am

    Sweet… a shirt that supports the SQL ANSI-92 standard. No MSSQL nonsense.
    Do you have any shirts that can help me learn a bit more about “inner joins” and “outer joins”?
    Mysql.com is confusing. I think it would be easier to learn via a WWdN fashion show.
    –AJ

  4. Nicole says:
    17 June, 2005 at 11:49 am

    Hey! I saw your cute little butt on VH1 the other night. Just wanted you to know that you’re still as cute, if not cuter.
    Hope you and the fam have a wonderful weekend.
    Nicole

  5. AJ says:
    17 June, 2005 at 11:53 am

    [sexy voice]
    Nicole, are you talking to me?
    Because you posted right after I…
    [/sexy voice]
    Oh.
    Oops. Never mind.

  6. Selannia says:
    17 June, 2005 at 12:00 pm

    What Nicole said.
    It was great to see your book and the website on television.
    And keep rocking the sideburns.

  7. JM says:
    17 June, 2005 at 12:04 pm

    That shirt cracks me up every time I see it.

  8. jslicer says:
    17 June, 2005 at 12:24 pm

    One of my favorite “geek” lines that crossed over to RL is “mv your_opinion /dev/null”.
    What VH1 show was Wil on? Will it be replayed?

  9. Anton says:
    17 June, 2005 at 1:31 pm

    The Wargames t-shirt is the best. I really miss that movie and ofcourse the talking computer.

  10. lashes says:
    17 June, 2005 at 1:45 pm

    AJ— I about fell out of my chair. Too funny! Thanks for the laugh!

  11. StrobeAlific says:
    17 June, 2005 at 1:49 pm

    Now, this is the Wil Wheaton we all love. Good post Wil. Made me smile…probably because all the similar things I’ve done like it.

  12. phedrang says:
    17 June, 2005 at 1:50 pm

    I really liked the movie war games. I hadn’t thought about that in a long while! It would be cool if somehow you could get using fiberoptics
    1) movement on the red arcs across the shirt
    2) the writing to light up
    and
    3) the cursor to flash at the end of the sentence like it’s waiting for its next command

  13. dansroka says:
    17 June, 2005 at 1:57 pm

    Gotta love SQL humor! Here’s another one I like. Check out the description of this blog: http://jeremy.zawodny.com/blog/

  14. VeronicaKnight says:
    17 June, 2005 at 2:04 pm

    I love that website. I want the one that says “I (heart) my geek” and about a dozen others. One that my husband REALLY needs is the one that says “No, I will not fix your computer.” I’m telling you, I’m getting a 900 number for tech support for my family to use. That’s the only reason his sister ever calls. It goes something like this:
    “Hi Trevie. What’s up?” (read really fast with a bit of a high pitched voice)
    “Nothin’ much. What’s going on?”
    “I’m good. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh and by the way. Can you tell me how to do *insert computer question here*”
    Anywho, love that site.

  15. Matt says:
    17 June, 2005 at 2:05 pm

    My best ThinkGeek shirt moment ever was Christmas, 2003. I opened up one of the TG things my parents got me to find the STFU shirt.
    My parents bought me the STFU shirt.
    Then my mom asked what it meant. She’d seen the examples on the site, but didn’t realise they were jokes.
    That’s right, my parents bought me a shirt telling its readers to Shut The Fuck Up without realising it.
    Definitely the funniest thing my parents have ever done for me.

  16. dansroka says:
    17 June, 2005 at 2:05 pm

    And if you like science shirts, I just had to pass this one on for all you evolution fans:
    http://www.cafepress.com/darwinposse

  17. Quanta says:
    17 June, 2005 at 2:15 pm

    I’m thinking of getting the SQL shirt. So far I’ve gotten the ‘man woman’ shirt, PEBKAC, and the PvP Dj

  18. weeksy says:
    17 June, 2005 at 2:15 pm

    maybe just me – but users are people. They don’t know geek. They know other things. Doesn’t mean they have no clue. Part of my job means I hire IT people alot. I never hire the ‘users have no clue’ set. They’re just arrogant pricks who think they’re better than people who know less about computers than them…Yeah… the CFO of this company fortune 500 is clearly an idiot cause he can’t code perl….. (or not ?)

  19. Erin :) says:
    17 June, 2005 at 2:39 pm

    I have the “I’m blogging this” shirt and the “I [heart] My Geek” shirts, but my boyfriend always makes me change when I wear the …Geek one because all of his non-work shirts are manga/comic related and he doesn’t want to get teased!

  20. Sib says:
    17 June, 2005 at 2:46 pm

    argh. gave in and ordered the “roses are #…” t-shirt. Posting tempting links is bad, bad … 🙂

  21. Brandi says:
    17 June, 2005 at 3:06 pm

    Okay, Quanta, we do NOT need ThinkGeek pants. I can see it now… boxers that say “Wanna see my really big hard drive?” And then they’ll have a joke pair with “big hard drive” crossed out and replaced with “old floppy drive”. Yeah… 🙂

  22. fferret says:
    17 June, 2005 at 3:17 pm

    (*laughs out loud, holding his sides*) Oh ghods above yes! That universally humbling moment, when you realize you are never smarter than the Universe! Have a good weekend, Wil.

  23. Keith L. Dick says:
    17 June, 2005 at 3:36 pm

    Your a *True GEEK* Wil…. hehehehehe

  24. Andrew says:
    17 June, 2005 at 4:31 pm

    My mother once gave me a shirt that read “If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.”
    My then-boss’s comment, when I wore it to work: “Very funny. Don’t ever wear it again.”

  25. Laura says:
    17 June, 2005 at 4:59 pm

    Nerd! I dub thee NEEEEEEEEEEEEERD.
    We love you. Obviously. Never change.

  26. Quanta says:
    17 June, 2005 at 5:08 pm

    Brandi: Are you saying that boxers that say /dev/wang wouldn’t be sexy? What about pants covered in binary that name all the parts they cover?
    I can’t believe you’re condemning the pants idea before you see the true horrors it could bring. 😀

  27. Markham Eggleton says:
    17 June, 2005 at 5:11 pm

    He he he. Love the Schr

  28. Michael Ditto says:
    17 June, 2005 at 5:14 pm

    There are exactly 10 kinds of people in this world– those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

  29. Andrew says:
    17 June, 2005 at 6:19 pm

    ThinkGeek carries that binary shirt.

  30. kasitl says:
    17 June, 2005 at 6:47 pm

    That reminds me about how I still need the “I don’t work here” shirt. Honestly, some people just can’t tell the difference between a blue vest with a big yellow smilie face and a mostly black Hawaiian shirt….

  31. Sara says:
    17 June, 2005 at 6:54 pm

    Think Geek is the greatest. I love the Wargames shirt. My best friend got me the “Schr

  32. beau99 says:
    17 June, 2005 at 7:35 pm

    That’s the most hilarious thing I’ve ever read… but in a good way.

  33. brian says:
    17 June, 2005 at 7:42 pm

    One of my friends was wearing the Schr

  34. HART says:
    17 June, 2005 at 8:51 pm

    Ya Knooow … if you folded your shirts properly, you would have noticed that your shirts were worn out! So, as a public service, I found this link to a short video “how to fold a shirt” in 3 seconds…. talk about cool … after you watched it, I bet you’ll try it too
    http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/fold.php
    HART

  35. KimAbshire says:
    17 June, 2005 at 8:55 pm

    I’m still laughing at the title. I happen to live in the “oh hey-this plaid shirt looks great with these flowered pants” capital of the world — Okinawa, Japan.
    I swear, they all get dressed in the dark… Lots of fun on shopping trips, though!
    Glad to see you’re back with the living, Wil. Take care of yourself.

  36. shewhobeatsass says:
    17 June, 2005 at 9:39 pm

    i’m getting the Joss Whedon t-shirt for every female member of my family…i’m getting the geek love poem and the WTF? t-shirts for myself. just gotta get that first paycheck!

  37. renee says:
    17 June, 2005 at 10:00 pm

    “Oh Ohh, I really couldn’t say
    Oh no, I really couldn’t say…
    Take me high on your silent wings
    And I swear I’ll do anything for you”

  38. davelog says:
    17 June, 2005 at 10:45 pm

    “SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue” would yield the same result, saving 2 valuable keystrokes. Amateurs.

  39. DustyTymes says:
    17 June, 2005 at 10:53 pm

    Remember Wil-san…
    Wax on… Wax off… (repeat)
    As for the back of Ryans’ Shirt, it says…
    “Schr

  40. Scott T says:
    17 June, 2005 at 11:46 pm

    Wargames
    I loved that movie!
    Ironic, too. That moronic imbecile of a president of ours is actually bringing us CLOSER to nuclear holocaust than away from it. Every Muslim and their cousin wants to blow up the United States by any means possible as we experiment and develop a new class of nuclear “smart bombs!”
    🙁
    I love your shirts, Wil!

  41. Eric Draven says:
    18 June, 2005 at 5:22 am

    Um, I don’t know who Schr

  42. Scott T says:
    17 June, 2005 at 11:46 pm

    Wargames
    I loved that movie!
    Ironic, too. That moronic imbecile of a president of ours is actually bringing us CLOSER to nuclear holocaust than away from it. Every Muslim and their cousin wants to blow up the United States by any means possible as we experiment and develop a new class of nuclear “smart bombs!”
    🙁
    I love your shirts, Wil!

  43. Scott T says:
    17 June, 2005 at 11:46 pm

    Wargames
    I loved that movie!
    Ironic, too. That moronic imbecile of a president of ours is actually bringing us CLOSER to nuclear holocaust than away from it. Every Muslim and their cousin wants to blow up the United States by any means possible as we experiment and develop a new class of nuclear “smart bombs!”
    🙁
    I love your shirts, Wil!

  44. Scott T says:
    17 June, 2005 at 11:46 pm

    Wargames
    I loved that movie!
    Ironic, too. That moronic imbecile of a president of ours is actually bringing us CLOSER to nuclear holocaust than away from it. Every Muslim and their cousin wants to blow up the United States by any means possible as we experiment and develop a new class of nuclear “smart bombs!”
    🙁
    I love your shirts, Wil!

  45. elamb says:
    18 June, 2005 at 11:58 am

    Very cool shirt I’ve gotta submit this to Digg. If you’re a fan of slashdot you will be blown away by digg.com.

  46. indigo says:
    18 June, 2005 at 5:07 pm

    haha, that was good AJ 😀 😀 😀
    ps. go to check http://groups.msn.com/standbyme thanks 🙂

  47. cube says:
    18 June, 2005 at 9:07 pm

    The cat is not dead or alive until you wear the shirt…God knows what happens to the cat if you wear the shirt inside out. The cat’s blood is on your hands.

  48. Code Pirate says:
    18 June, 2005 at 10:06 pm

    *snerk*
    Must have been one of those days!
    Oh, on a totally unrelated note, I was at a comic convention today and saw a genuine Wil Wheaton autographed picture for sale. Didn’t have enough money for it. Oh well! I’ll just have to track you down in person! ^_^

  49. spacewriter says:
    19 June, 2005 at 3:42 am

    Hey Wil,
    Hi from Bavaria, where I’ve spent the past week at European Southern Observatory at a meeting… on my way home, waiting at the Munich airport for the next flight…
    I have one of those users=0 t-shirts. Each time I wear it when I’m on travel, I get the secret thumbs-up from all the other geeks on the plane. 😉
    spacewriter

  50. Elfqueen says:
    19 June, 2005 at 8:57 am

    Somehow it’s a comfort to know that Wargames is still remembered by some. Loved the comments.
    It’s also good to see that you’re passing your geekdom on to the next generation so to speak. I am working on the same with my kids.
    😉 Till next time–
    Elfqueen

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