As an actor and writer, husband and father, I have two often-conflicting monkeys on my back: Monkey number one is Creative Monkey. He occasionally digs his claws into my brains, and refuses to let go until something wonderful comes out. I love him. Monkey number two is Pragmatic Monkey. He regularly wraps his prehensile tail around my neck and only eases his grip when I’m doing the things I need to do to support my family. I don’t necessarily love him, but I’m glad he’s here. From time to time, I can satiate both monkeys, like writing Games of Our Lives, working on CSI, or touring with Earnest Borg9. More often than not, though, I can only satisfy one monkey at a time, and when push comes to shove, Pragmatic Monkey always wins; with a family to support, I just don’t have the luxury of turning my back on him. For the last few years, I’ve been luckily enough to to strike a Balance that makes both Monkeys happy . . . but for most of this year, Pragmatic Monkey has been squeezing the everlivingfuck out of me, and in an effort to make him happy, I’ve ended up taking on far too many responsibilities, and given away way far too much of myself to other people. I’ve rarely seen Creative Monkey, let alone felt his wonderful claws in my brains, and that’s got to change. I miss him.
I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I believe that I didn’t come down with a crippling case of mono that forced me to bring my life to a complete halt just because The Universe hit a two-outer on the River to take me down. So over the last couple of weeks, I’ve taken a very hard look at my life, and looked for The Lesson. After a lot of soul-searching, and long talks with the two most important women in my life (my wife and my mother) I’ve come to the following conclusion: I’m tired. Really, really tired. I guess it’s appropriate that I got mono, because my body physically manifested what I’ve felt emotionally for a long time.
Call it what you want: over-extended, spread too thin, burned-out . . . the bottom line is, in an effort to put lots of irons in the fire, help some people out, and increase my opportunities to retire in style at the age of 25, I’ve given too much of myself to other people, and there hasn’t been enough left over for me and the people I love. The scary thing is, if I hadn’t had to cancel the Red Hat Summit appearance, I may not have realized it until it was too late. When I had to cancel the Red Hat Summit, I was shocked, that, rather than expressing compassion and understanding, I was called “unprofessional,” and a lot of people got very upset with me, because my health prevented me from speaking at their precious conference, and it made them “look bad.” I felt like I wasn’t even a person anymore. I felt like I was an object, a commodity, a number. For months, something had been bothering me, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was like seeing something out of the corner of my eye that vanished whenever I tried to look directly at it, but it suddenly came into focus: I have felt, for a very long time, like people wanted a piece of me, and I’d willingly given it up. I was filled with empty spaces. I had to take a step back, and redraw my boundaries. To quote my favorite TV show of all time: “I am not a number, I am a person.”
There are so many things I want to do, and I haven’t had time to do them. I want to plant a garden. I want to walk my dog every morning. I want to write fiction. I want to finish the two books I’m working on, so I can get into the third. I want to play more poker. I want to take my wife out on dates. Mostly, though, I don’t want to miss out on what little time I have left with my stepkids before they fly right out of the nest in a couple of years. I was working my ass off to provide enough financial security to do all those things, but I had hardly anything to show for it. I was undervaluing myself and my work, and at the end of each day, I was emotionally exhausted and I couldn’t even think about enjoying time with my family. All the while, these people who had gotten a small piece of me — some of them business associates, many of them random Internet readers — kept demanding more and more and more.
When I was so sick about ten days ago, I had a fever-induced epiphany: I needed to make several changes in my life. I needed to redefine some boundaries, and re-organize my priorities.
So let’s get to it. The first thing I have to do is refocus my creative energy, which brings the following changes:
- I have written my last column for Dungeon. When I started, I was under the impression that I could write whatever I wanted, as long as it was related to gaming. So I wrote about games I love, like Illuminati and Car Wars. I wrote about playing Magic with Nolan, convention gaming, and playing True Dungeon at SoCal GenCon last year. I really enjoyed writing the columns, but the feedback I got was largely negative (it’s really time to just get the fuck over Star Trek, nerds), so Erik Mona, my editor at Dungeon, asked me to write columns that were focused purely on D&D. I tried my best, but my life was just too full to put in the time that running or participating in a campaign requires. It was very hard to write a column about D&D when I couldn’t play at least once a week, so I told Erik last week that I felt that I couldn’t provide the quality and consistency that he and Dungeon readers deserve, and he graciously accepted my resignation. I loved working for Erik, who is a fantastic editor, and I will continue to read both Dungeon and Dragon, which I feel have improved tremendously under his leadership. I’m sad that I can’t be part of it any longer.
- I’ve resigned from igrep. I like the people who created it very much, and I completely believe in their technology — if you’re a developer, and you’re not using igrep, you’re wasting a lot of time — but it’s clear to me that I can’t provide the services that they need from a spokesman, and it’s best for everyone if I invest my time and energy somewhere else.
- I am not doing any more conventions this year. I don’t have anything new to offer in terms of creative content right now, and I’m not going to go out and rehash the same old shit. It’s boring for me, and the audience deserves something better. So I’m taking the rest of the year off to work on new material.
Hopefully, these changes will allow me to reclaim a lot of time and energy that I can spend with my family, tending that garden, and writing.
I also need to make some fairly significant changes to my blog. I have to keep perspective and focus: I write this blog because it’s fun and enjoyable, and ultimately I have to write it for me, and I have to write in a way that keeps me comfortable. There’s this guy named Paul Phillips, who the poker pros call “Dot Com,” because he made a megatillion quatloos during the dotcom boom. He retired in style, and became a seriously good poker player. He also writes one of the greatest blogs (actually a live journal) that I have ever read, and I don’t say that with any hyperbole. He writes about poker, other players, technology, geeky things, and his baby girl with wonderful, honest, prose. But he’s got his boundaries, which he makes very clear. His Live Journal helped me come to the conclusion that I could redefine my boundaries and still have a blog worth reading and writing. For example, his FAQ is unambiguous and makes it clear that he’s not interested in any bullshit. It doesn’t mean he’s a dick, it just means that he knows what his boundaries are and that he’ll defend them. I respect that more than I can possibly put into words, and I intend to follow his example. (Though I probably wouldn’t have folded that Queen-high flush to TJ Cloutier at the Bike, when only two cards in the deck beat me ;). I’ve also read and thought about another blogger I respect, Tony Pierce. Tony recently wrote a great post about what happens when bloggers experience blogger burnout. At one time or another, I have been guilty of every single entry on his list, right up until today. Starting right now, I will change that. I don’t think everyone is going to be happy with these changes, but I think that will say more about the individual than it does about me. In fact, if you see me as a fellow blogger, writer, stepparent, privacy advocate, spouse, pet owner, poker player, [whatever] aficionado, geek, or human being, I’m pretty sure you’re going to understand all of these things. As a matter of fact, if these changes upset or offend you, you should probably not be reading WWdN in the first place, and I hope you’ll leave.
- I hate Reality TV, and I feel like my blog is dangerously close to crossing the line from ” this interesting thing happened to me” to “come with me while I take a shit in the woods.” I need to tell more stories, and bear less soul. You know what I’ve learned about The Internets? It’s full of freaks, and if a high-profile person bears too much soul, they really come out of the woodwork and latch on. It’s a little creepy. So, I need to reclaim a lot of myself for myself and my friends and family. If that means people stop reading WWdN, I’m really okay with that. In fact, I hope it has a bit of a Darwin effect.
- When I get the redesign launched, there will be minimal advertising. I’m doing this because I believe I’ve found a tasteful and non-intrusive way to help support my family. I will never allow WWdN to become a billboard, and I will never allow my writing to be influenced by, or secondary to advertising or sponsorship. I do plan to enter a few affiliate programs, and if I ever link to something that could go through one of those programs, I’ll do it. Again, I’m sure this won’t sit well with everyone. Deal.
- As my blog has grown out of my control in the last year, and taken on a life of its own, I have self-censored several times. Mostly, it’s when I want to rage about what a colossal fucking liar George W. Bush is, what a disgrace he is to my country, and how the mainstream corporate media have completely failed to hold him and his administration accountable for countless lies. I’m a passionate person, and I’m passionate about politics. I’m going to write about it, and I’m not going to pull any punches. It won’t be my primary focus, and I will never be as great a political blog as The Moderate Voice, Josh Marshall or Atrios, but I’ve turned away from political posts for too long. If the world were a bar, America would currently be the angry drunk waving around a loaded gun. Yeah, the other people in the bar may be afraid of him, but they sure as hell don’t respect him. And as soon as he drops that gun, he’s going to get his ass handed to him. I’d rather my country be respected than feared, and I’m going to do whatever I can, however small, to make that happen.
- I will move most of my Los Angeles-specific content to blogging.la, including news about local readings, ACME performances, and the like. I estimate that there are less than one hundred local readers, so it makes more sense to put local stuff on a local site.
- Because I make my living by writing, I’m going to focus most of my time and energy on completing the books I’ve got in production, even if that means I write fewer blogs (though I have noticed that it’s almost axiomatic that when a blogger says, “I’m going to blog less” that they actually blog more). However, I’m not going to keep material off my blog because I’m planning on including it in a future book. I’ve already written a successful book, Dancing Barefoot, that was entirely composed of previously-published material, and Just A Geek would have been even more successful if O’Reilly hadn’t mis-marketed it so badly, against my wishes and advice. I’m not worried about losing book sales because some, most, or even all of the material is available on my blog. I believe 100% in the Long Tail, and I owe much of my success to it.
Still here? Not foaming at the mouth in anger and resentment? Cool. I’m happy, and I’d like to close by sharing a few very cool things that I’m adding to my life:
- For the month of June, I am guest-editing the Technology section of the SuicideGirls newswire. (Newswire is Safe For Work, the rest of the site is not.) I will be putting up about three new technology stories every day this month.
- I’m also guest-blogging for the poker blog pPlayer.com this month. I haven’t posted anything at pPlayer, yet, but I plan on running some book reviews, as well as some interviews with well-known pros, poker bloggers, and authors. Both of these gigs allow the two Monkeys on my back to happily intersect: I get to write about things I love, and I get to support my family a little bit by doing it.
- I’m putting the finishing touches on a podcast. I’m not going to go into any details, because several things are up in the air, but I think it’s going to be pretty damn cool.
If you’ve gotten this far, I probably don’t need to say this, but here it goes anyway: I love writing my blog, and I’m grateful beyond words that so many people have continued to read it through the feasts and famines over the past few years. By making these changes, and announcing them so bluntly, I don’t intend to disrespect or take for granted any of the people who have come with me on the journey from Has-been to Hope-to-be. My need to pull back a little bit and keep a bit more of my life to myself also isn’t intended to disrespect or insult any of the thousands of people who have commented or e-mailed their appreciation of my willingness to be open and honest. In fact, I will continue to be open and honest because that’s the only way I know how to live an honorable and respectable life. (Ironically, it was that openness and honesty that earned me the “unprofessional” charge. Nice.) I just plan to be a little more selective in the things I choose to write about. Like I said, if you’ve gotten this far, I’m sure you understand.
I’d like to close with a little blast from the past . . . a thought for the day:
A small leak will sink a great ship
-Anonymous
Thanks for reading. 🙂
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Wil,
I will miss the family stories, as it has made you more of a “real” person in my eyes, but I am dying to read some of your political rantings.
Go get em’ brother, and always, ALWAYS, do what is best for you and your family. Bugger the discontents they suck anyway.
applecore: It’s an REM song. It came on while I was writing this post, and I felt it was especially (and eerily) appropriate:
And the train conductor says
“Take a break Driver 8, Driver 8 take a break
We can reach our destination, but we’re still a ways away”
But we’re still a ways away
I read your blog thru a feed on live journal. This is the first time I have come to your page to comment had to join typekey. I felt it was important enough to do so I could comment. I applaud your bluntness and the desire to refocus your life. I was appalled at the way you described being treated because of having to cancel an engagement because you got mono. I have had mono and it is not fun.
-A new commenter and fairly new reader-
Denise/ Demariana on LJ
Wil, it’s always a good thing to find the important things and focus on them, and put the rest in proper perspective. I’ll wager that your physical health will benefit from these adjustments as much as your mental and spiritual health will.
I have one concern, though. After such a well-thought-out and (let’s face it) LONG post, you must be exhausted. Be sure and get plenty of rest now so you can be fully charged for your newly prioritized agenda. You still need to take good care of yourself, for your sake and your family’s.
Wil, I have enjoyed your acting, your blog and your books. What I say to myself with remarkable frequency is that I hope you write novels. Your gift for descriptive prose would make nearly anything interesting.
To write well (or really, any creative activity) you need need to do these things. Do them.
Hi Wil,
This was well written, and it makes a lot of sense.
This place and this industry are all about boundaries. Noone is going to set them for you, and whether they show it or not, the way you get respect is to set them and hold them.
Looking forward to reading more, as always. Glad you’re feeling better. 🙂
Cheers,
Liz
I almost didn’t comment because everyone else has said such wonderful things, but then I remembered that it takes like ten compliments to erase one insult and since I don’t know what is being emailed directly to you, I decided to err on the side of safety.
While I won’t agree with everything you write about politics and don’t really care reading about poker, I enjoy your writing. I am glad that you are taking steps to protect yourself. I’m looking forward to reading more stories from you. I don’t attend conventions, so it doesn’t bother me at all that you aren’t going to anymore this year.
Write what you need to write. I know of other WWdN readers who like reading your blog even when they don’t agree with you politically. I seriously doubt any of them will stop reading you. You’re entitled to your own opinion. Doesn’t take much effort to scroll past a rant and you write too much good stuff to let that get in the way.
Also, there are many who do agree with you and that’s cool too. We’re not the Borg and I personally would be scared to hell if we all thought alike.
Hang in there and get well.
Best of luck to you Wil. You just need to remember that there are two different versions of Wil… there is a (for want of a better term) product called Wil, and it is supplied by the Person called Wil.
Wil the person has to come first, and only sign up to deliver so much of Wil the product during any time period.
Take the time you need to enjoy your life, and the people in it, and you will probably find that the work stuff is more enjoyable as well.
And I agree with what several others have said, if you feel the need to rant on your (no, I’m not American) president or his policies, then rant away…you have as much of a right to as anybody else.
A long time reader
hey wil,
i’m happy you’re happy with the switch. i love reading your posts. they always brighten my day because i know someone else is enjoying it… or at least seeing something i’m not seeing. while i won’t always agree with your political posts (conservative republican and proud!), i always appreciate your point of view. besides, at the very least, maybe a post of something contrary to my opinion will challenge me, make me think about it instead of spouting pure rhetoric as we’ve all been trained to do. but of course you know that. i’m happy for you, wil, and i’m looking forward to more great and pesonal posts like this one.
Oh, hey, and for what it’s worth, I’m blogging because of you.
I LEARNED BY [reading] YOU!
LOL 😀
Bravo Wil! Sounds like you’re back in the driver’s seat. All your changes in focus sound wise and welcome – except the part about changing all your local posts to blogging.la. I live behind the Orange Curtain, but was still looking forward to catching one of your performances someday. Of course, someday may be very far away since I would have to convince the hubby to watch the 3 year-old so I could run off to LA and have a night on the town with friends. Ah well.
I really look forward to an increase in political posts, since a post to Daily Kos was what brought me to your blog in the first place, if I remember correctly.
I had to giggle at your description of the Internet freeks and how they latch on. Having been born without the celebrity worship gene that seems rampant in society these days, I find the whole thing, well, weird. I once worked at a store in Beverly Hills, and if I didn’t know it when I started, I sure learned quick that celebrities of all kinds are just people, plain and simple. Some are wonderful, and some are c***suckers. So why get excited about a person just because you’ve seen them 10 feet tall on a screen at the movie theater? I appreciate and enjoy your talent as both a writer and an actor, but it’s your perspective on the world and your humanity that I read your blog for.
Hope you find some more time for yourself with all the changes!
Wil – it’s your site, your journal, and your life. Write what you will, maintain your boundaries to keep your focus things that are important in your life, and screw anyone who has an issue with that.
Do what you need to do, and people who don’t like it can find someone else to latch on to. In other words, joke ’em if they can’t take a fsck.
I’ll still be here.
-yet another LJ feed reader
Hey Wil-
I’m rethinking my goals as well. Your post made me think of Naomi Wolf’s new book The Treehouse
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0743249771/qid=1118199810/sr=8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/102-6644653-1608102?v=glance&s=books&n=507846
which describes the imperative of nurturing each person’s unique creative impulse. I think all of your changes will actually strengthen your voice.
Take care.
Wil Wheaton,
You have been a role model for me over my years of being a student. It all started with my mother
Good for you, Wil. I know it’s hard to admit to yourself that you can’t do everything. I think you’re doing exactly the right things to make you and your family happier and healthier.
I’ll keep reading your blog and whatever else you write, as long as you keep writing them.
After that preamble, I expected to hear read some pretty drastic things! Instead I read nothing but completely sensible, logical, and completely understandable things. [thumbs up]
Well, it’s great to see all the support for your future plans – no more than I expected from the “Friends of Wil” who post here. One thing that popped up over and over was the wish to read a full length work of fiction from the mighty Wheaton pen, and I realized I wanted to add my voice (and vote) for that. And if that means blogging less, well I guess I can live with that. Just keep us posted on the general state of your little family (furry members included). You all kinda feel like family now. Not like “Wow, celeb guy” but “Our neighbors across the street, the Wheatons”. And I’m sure we ALL feel that way!
Well, it’s great to see all the support for your future plans – no more than I expected from the “Friends of Wil” who post here. One thing that popped up over and over was the wish to read a full length work of fiction from the mighty Wheaton pen, and I realized I wanted to add my voice (and vote) for that. And if that means blogging less, well I guess I can live with that. Just keep us posted on the general state of your little family (furry members included). You all kinda feel like family now. Not like “Wow, celeb guy” but “Our neighbors across the street, the Wheatons”. And I’m sure we ALL feel that way!
Hi Wil,
Long time reader, second time commenter.
They say, and I believe it true, that everything, good or bad, happens for a reason. I wish you didn’t get mono, but this has given you the chance to make positive changes in your life that will be for the better. Congratulations!
Write all the attacks on GWB that you want. He has to go, and as a Canadian, I hope it happens. Difficult, but not impossible. He should be impeached and tried for war crimes.
Wil,
I must admit that I started reading WWdN in large part because I knew who you were beforehand. Wait, that’s not entirely true. I started reading because I had seen an actor named Wil Wheaton playing characters with whom I could identify. (I hate to admit just how close I was to the character of Wesley Crusher, though I was not nearly as bright!)
I continued reading not because you were SuperWil, defender of all that is good, but because you are a person who has to deal with many of the same issues as I do. No, I am not an actor/writer, though I did once play an angst-ridden hedge. Rather, I am a married father of two, approaching middle age (38 and holding), and I’ll be damned if anyone is going to tell me that they take priority over my family!
You do what you need to do to feel good about yourself. We don’t own you. I thank you for sharing your rationale for the changes but, quite frankly, you don’t owe us anything. You have already given us something more important: you have shared your life with us.
To quote the great philosopher Viv Savage: “Have a Good Time, All the Time!”
When I was a kid, my dad taught school, went to grad school and served in the National Guard. He did all that to provide for us. What’s funny is that I don’t remember the “stuff” he provided, I just remember things like…he wasn’t home for my 9th birthday. Nor my 11th. The providing thing is important, but being there…really being there in the moment with your wife and kids- that’s the payoff.
As for less intimate blogging, well, good for you. I admit that I first wandered in because it was a name I recognized. What I found, however, was something entirely unpretentious and totally cool. I’ve had a great time reading so far, and I’m sure that the changes aren’t gonna make it suck, so don’t worry about it. And I’m glad you’re feeling better.
I’m a long-time reader who has only posted a couple of comments previously.
Wil, I’m very happy to hear about the changes going on in your life. I was shocked to read that some people reacted so disgustingly to your illness, saying that you’re unprofessional and the like. Remove them from your life like the festering cancer they are.
I’m also surprised you thought your post would rub some people the wrong way. There are a lot of people who, despite knowing you only through your blog, like and respect you tremendously, including myself. You should never have to feel the need to self-censor here. Everyone has haters and enemies, but know that you have friends here; many of whom you’ve never met and never will.
I’m overjoyed for you that you’re making positive changes in your life and your blog, and I look forward to reading it for years to come.
i am looking forward to whatever new things will soon be happening in this place.
i have wondered for quite some time now how long you would keep WWDN going…i’m pleased to hear it’s not ending now…but do i understand the inevitability of change…alot of what you were seeking here you have found…and who knows what direction your heart will point you in the future?…whatever happens…i’d just like to thank you…for sharing with all of us…this documentation of some of the most interesting days of your life…i think the future will be far more interesting than this…all of these troubles that have come before are the cornerstone of whatever future we’re bound for…here’s hoping your time is well spent…in a way that has meaning for you and your family.
Hazzah! applause! ovation!!!
HOW are you ever going to know the seeds you plant here? Causual comments played in passing?
For instance, soties you shared about your impact with your step children – influenced me to take on step children (ie highschoolers) for a safety class taught on adult dimentions. For 28 years, only teaching adults, YOUR stories moved to to take a deep breath and accept the challenge offered to make a difference to them in future work environments.
Everything had to be restrucured in the program – everything. They have no work experience to speak of so I speak of events, of losses that are close and personal to them… look for that light in their eye that says they “get it”, they’ll make a different choice, the sadness of a grief and the trust to share. You planted the seeds that showed me a way to reach that with them. For what they carry forth from my seeds , will they keep an eye? Will They leave a workplace that treats them like one more piece of meat? Will they say something to a friend, a sibling or even a grandparent that will keep an accident from happening? Was it your first story you told? ~ the fifth or tenth that finially put the pieces together for me clearly enough for correct action, which in turn has changed so many other lives that YOU will never know?
Today, I fight with every tool I can find to shift the tide for both my furbabies with cancers, spending evry spare moment with them thanking god for each hourly gift I get and the chance to make a diffence in their lives. More inspired by your own efforts with your furbabies to just try, in the face of the inevidable.
Today, I said to my mentor who just went through cancer surgery, that the only things that mattered were relationships. I gave up a chance to be named nationally recognized trainer to sit with him during the process, something years ago I would have done about anything for. and it doesnt matter – because NOthing is as important as relationships and the moments to cherish them.
Today he said how sad he was that no one from his family was there for him. I asked him – how did they know how to? All these years and he has always given given given and never let anyone give back to him in any meaningful ways.
For example 4 years ago, I was terrified to pay a house bill because Dad had only medicare with no drug coverage. So how could I pay a bill if tomorrow he needed medication that would cost $800 just to stay alive? Lon made work for me to do at home so I could keep an eye on Dad, get some cash, then he would walk the bill though the city (terrible payers – they DONT care) and drive it over to me to deposit that day.
One of the things I had said to him when he shared with me the discover of his tumor, was to ask if he really wanted to live or was this his honorable out. The only thing we really own is our live and I feel stronly that one one else has the right to decide for us when it is enough.(No comments on this necessary, group)
I said that if he was really done, then we could help him live the rest of his limited days the best way he could, but if there was more, then he needed to decide what it was and get off the pot, no more denial! I shared my own insight that at 50 – I have done everything I have ever wanted to do, manifested anything – as an individual. So for the second half, the ONLY thing that would generate interest or passion would be doing this with others, in relationships. (Not that I wouldnt get up each day if I had to wake up, meant people still had to be taught, chores to be done and would be with a smile until released by the guy upstairs).
This was my chance to payback (or on), to help open doors, to show his family how they could come in. But ~
Do you understand that YOUR blog planted the seeds I passed on to him? He got it-hard, he saw it clear – because YOU set the stage – I just stepped into the part~ People dont know how to give, unless you show them how by being willing to recieve, and be willing to ask for needs and desires!
So, Johnnie Appleseed, keep on, keepen on! As my gypsie niece says – “just kick the trash to the curb cause there is plenty of good just Waitin’ to come on in!
Ya on de right track and the relationships ya care about are showin ya if ya’ll listen! Remember, ya goota breathing in (be receptive) before you can breath out (get active!)
So glad to see you’re feeling better. And glad to hear of the positive changes you’re making in your life. Although this means slightly less Wil for the WWdN monkeys, it’s all good in the long run.
No worries! 😀 Take care.
Phew. What a load off. I was worried about you, Wil. You were sounding more tired and sick and drained with every post. I hope these major changes will let you become a fulfilled, happy, healthy person again! Your posse is still behind you!
Y’know, Wil, when ST:TNG first came out, I loved it.
I kinda grooved on the fact that I shared a name with one of the characters.
It was only later I found out about the Wesley haters. Fools and ne’er-do-wells, if’n ya ask me.
I’ve grooved on the blog from the day I discovered it.
Do whatever you have to do to keep yourself in the game. You have a unique and exciting voice as a writer, and you should never let go of that.
And don’t back down from the political stuff for one second. It’s your right, and we appreciate it.
WF
Hey Wil,
It’s your blog, do whatever the hell you want.
Though I do like hearing about your cats. Best for you and yours,
Mike
Well, everyone has said it before me but I’ll add my little voice to the pile.
I haven’t commented on a post in forever but I feel moved to comment. I know I keep coming back for the writing and because I respect you as a writer/everything else you are and not because I get a creepy fix. So many of us do. So if you need to pull back somethings because that’s best for you then by all means do it. We understand.
Yes, do tell more stories. Not that getting the uber intimate look into your life hasn’t been… interesting. But you’re right, perhaps sometimes we don’t need to know everything. We know you care about the readers/fans. =)
Aw, sad that you aren’t doing more conventions this year but we all totally totally understand. Perhaps you’ll have to plan a big tour someday. =)
I now go back to general WWdN lurking.
cheers!
We all do what we have to do to get by in this crazy game called life!
Those who “get” it will stay with you and continue to read whatever you decide to share…those who don’t?…That is their choice….
I choose to stay…
By the way…glad you are feeling better!
Wil, you have my complete respect. My wife and I would love to hear you read from your work some day, but by all means do it on your own terms. If that takes a year, or two, or five — that’s just going to mean that you’ve been able to spend the most important time with family (and by family I include your precious animals and closest true friends), and you will be an even better person for it.
Neil Young may have said “It’s better to burn out than to fade away”, but the notion of burnout of the last few decades has been much more akin to brutal family-rending overwork that grinds you down to dust. And that’s no good; no good at all (to quote Lou Reed).
You’ll get nothing but positive vibes from this corner, man.
Just a side comment, really .. I have been enjoying your postings as a lurker for a while now….
~~~~~~~~~~~~
To quote my favorite TV show of all time: “I am not a number, I am a person.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Actually, the quote was ..
“I am not a number, I am a free man”
I used to love that show. Even though I am a 1963 model, I remember it wasn’t until the mid-80’s when I ~was allowed to stay up after my bedtime~ to watch the shows. And, I believe it was at something like 3am on CBC LateNight. Naturally, I would stay up to watch each show even though I was recording each episode on …. BETA!
Yah. I’ll have to add that DVD to my wish list. Thanks for the suggestion! 😀
Hey! Take care, eh?
HART
We’re always here for you, Wil. Feel better and do what is necessary for you and your family. We’re not going anywhere 🙂
Well, in the opening of The Prisoner, Number Six yells, “I am not a number, I am a free man!” Number Two asnwers by laughing.
But in the first episode, Arrival, when Number 2 is interrogating Number 6, Number 6 tells him, “I am not a number, I am a person.” Right before he says, “I’ve resigned. I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, briefed, debriefed, or numbered! My life is my own.”
Trust me. I’m a über nerd for The Prisoner. I quoted all that from memory. Nyahh.
Hi Wil. I hope you feel better soon. I had mono my first year of university, and it was not much fun. It was the complete opposite of fun, especially falling asleep in classes all the time. I agree that it might be a ‘sign’ to literally slow down. I’m annoyed that people think you can’t get sick or have a private life. Like, wtf. Makes them ‘look bad?’ Sometimes, people suck.
This is your blog. Write whatever you want. Or post stupid pictures drawn badly. Or stupid pictures of sidewalks or clouds or feet or garbage cans.
It’s not necessary to defend how or what you want to write, although I think I understand why you feel defensive … because the next freakazoid who latches on is going to get it, right? Yeah. Be careful on these here internets. There are some spooky people floating about. Amost every blogger I know has gone through similar drama where some readers get too pushy and expect too much and it gets stupid and/or ugly. Don’t explain anything. Be sarcastic. Enjoy writing, as long as it’s for you, not for an audience. If people like it, they will come back. If they don’t, then whatever. Page hits/comment counts don’t matter, at all.
Oh, and enjoy the family, while they are all still at home. I’m sure you’ll figure out the angles. I’d say random hug attacks are good for a start.
Take care, and feel better!
Oh, and I think he may say “indexed” in there, too. And I realize that I misspelled “answers.”
But I’m actually having a nice evening, catching up on poker blogs, seeing that Paul Phillips mentioned me in his Live Journal, and watching the Dodgers blow a lead to the Tigers.
The Tigers! For Fuck’s Sake!
Well done. Remember to stay strong and mind the little disciplines that are the backbone of changes like this.
These kinds of changes really will make for a better blog, and hopefully some more bound printed matter from you before too long–both of which are good news!
Anyone who minds any of that, well, I can’t imagine that they would have been “fan enough” to have tuned in long enough to notice the difference.
I know you’ve been a man at a mark far too often over your careers. You know how to guard yourself. Let ’em go, and good riddance and all that. Turning out new, quality work will bring in a new wave of public support and fans.
I think it’s awesome that you have decided to go back to basic’s. It’s good for grounding yourself. In Hawai’i, staring out at the ocean for hours at a time, just listening to the waves crashing and seeing the water ripple, it was so relaxing and so mind filling at the same time. I bet I thought up seven more stories while I was there.
*wink* It’s a good thing, this change. Roll with the waves. They always reach the shore.
Wil;
Whose life is it? Whose blog is it? YOURS. You have the freedom to say what’s on your mind. There will always be a few disgruntled viewers, but that’s true for many things. And in time, they tend to move on when they realize no one is interested in their negativity.
None of us has the right to demand anything of you, or behave immaturely when we perceive having been “shortchanged”. The only people who have the right to expect anything of you are your family and friends.
What we all consider to be special are the parts of yourself that you *choose* to share with us. Whatever form that takes; here online, or in print, or in person. The point of us all being here, on this planet, is the connections we experience between ourselves.
Be well. Live your days fully.
~caoil
I don’t normally bother to comment if I’m basically going to ditto what was already said, but truthfully, maybe it helps to hear it from a lot of people. Yes, lots of people are attracted to your blog initially because of your celebrity. That isn’t enough to hold people if the writing is bad or extremely infrequently updated. I’ve looked at other celebrity blogs, and frankly, none of them hold a candle to yours. Why? Because you have a real blog, not just some web mouthpiece for your latest project that mostly gets ignored. Your blog is good because it doesn’t pretend to be some fansite. It’s a blog. A good blog.
hey wil,
unlike all those OTHER PEOPLE, who say they wish you well, but are SHALLOW and only lurk here in the secret, dark hope that you’re probed by ALIENS and appear frothing at the mouth on conan o’brien some night, so that they can say to their friends, “that’s wil, i read his BLOG and was THIS CLOSE to bearing his child”, i’d like to say welcome.
p.s. stand a little to the left. no, that’s good.
Wil, I totally respect your position! My husband and I’ve enjoyed your writing so much, and we’d far rather see you slow down than burn out. 🙂
You know, all the kitty trauma of the past year is probably taking its toll, too. It’s hard to have to work and work when you really need the time to grieve. Our society doesn’t encourage the acceptance of the loss of a pet as the loss of a loved one, but of course anyone who has ever lost a cherished animal companion knows full well that it is. You spoke of feeling like pieces of you were missing, and this is definitely a missing piece of your heart that needs time to heal.
Take care of yourself, enjoy your family, ignore all jerks, and nurture your own creative garden while you tend that outdoor one!
Melissa Gay
Good for you! You’re human. Nobody owns you. As for the people at the Red Hat Summit, they can go f*** themselves.
I have to put my two cents to say the following:
I went to a Gift of Gab, (intended to be anyway)
show in SJSU recently but the man cancelled because well, he was ill.
So Lightsabrs (sp.?) did the small hip hop show. which was cool. People said… “awww” when told the man couldn’t make it. For goodness sake, even performers such as the Gift himself who can let loose words faster than I type in his style, need a break.
All I can say is when people say its “rude and unprofessional”, tell them things I can’t otherwise write here which will sound terrible to you guys but I rather am fond of cussing (at common enemies or people who ask me to cover for them one too many times).
Its better to slow down than wind up much worse. The great heydey of conventions is over it appears, I was in high school, I was too “poor”. I’m still broke. The church mouse budget is too much sometimes, but well, as far as reality TV goes, people’s tension can be released by watching films of Mother Teresa taking care of the REALLY-genuinely poor, but it would be better if it wasn’t all just b.s. drama.
The real World was full of that. They think apparently that cooperation, a decent human endeavor to put in a water system that works in an African village for example is a bad idea for reality TV and won’t make money unless people don’t get along. What getting along with life/coworkers doesn’t make for keeping people from getting sick? I don’t get the whole keep going no matter what mentality in American society, I mean, good grief, there is also a total lack of sympathy in the world for anybody.
There are too many people in business and other professions that express a lack of compassion and understanding. Just look at our health care system for goodness sake and that’s another rant entirely for my Live Journal. working on CSI must be cool, but Live Journal can feature many quirky commentary on that and other subjects as my account rests there on which I often rant and rave.
Yes, Life has responsibilities for all of us. We can’t all be creating but that certainly takes the brunt off of b.s., I want to double major in cinema and writing because I confess to a desire to break into the ‘Wood someday and write for the Idiot Box myself but write decent stuff. I will be branded a geek too I suppose as much as I hate the label (there is that word again, hate), I hate having to use the word hate because I hate hate. But well, I can’t expect perfection. But from undergrad to grad MFA in writing to Law school to hopefully saving the world from itself. Oh I’m just getting myself together right now though.
More importantly though I write to tell you Wil to tell off those who expect you to overwork, its not good for you or for anybody. I’m rabidly for building a society where people don’t feel like they have to overwork like that, because that guilt trip people put on people who get sick is so stupid.
Not only do I understand, but I agree 100% with every decision you’ve listed, and my respect for you, which was already at level 3948344564 (this is according to the scoring in my own little world, naturally), has just skyrocketed. I honestly think you’re among the coolest bloggers out there, and I am grateful for all the time you put into this site. It’s a bummer about the convention, since I was looking forward to seeing you (!) but again, I understand, and actually, anyone who DOESN’T understand just sucks.
Wil:
I understand and agree with you 100%. Thanks for taking the time to explain your reasons and letting us know of the changes in store. I’ve been reading your blog for almost 3 years and will continue to do so as long as you keep writing. You are a talented, gifted writer. As long as you keep writing, we’ll keep reading. To tell you the truth, I miss the stories. 🙂
Whatever changes you make, in your life, your blog, your site: those of us who have gotten to know you through your writting will stay with you through this journey, no matter which path it takes.
Ana Marylee =)
San Juan, PR
Dearest Wil,
You are an inspiration to me for many many years now. Your site/blog has shown how much you have grown as a man and a writer. I will continue to read everything you say for as long as I can.
Thank you for all of your sharing,insights, love, writing, tears, joys etc etc etc.
Luv,
Cat
>*.*
Hey Will,
Just found your site and I’d like to say I admire your writing and am enjoying your blog. I have a lot of respect for what you had to say in your post. Way to stick to your guns (kisses bicep ;-).
-Mike
I’ve been reading your blog for a couple years now, and have always enjoyed it. I love the way you write, and I’m sure I will still love it after you’ve made your changes. I am one fan who will be sticking around.
Wil,
Another long time reader, never poster here.
As I read through this entry this evening, I kept saying to myself, “Yes!” “Right!” “ABSOLUTELY!!”
Yes, there will be people that aren’t happy about the changes you’re making – screw ’em. The rest of us (and I suspect the vast majority of the rest of us) appreciate and enjoy your writing and your principles.
I think you can talk to any creatve person – and even those of us a little less gifted – and find that a lot of us feel the need to burn the candle at all 17 ends. It’s an amazingly freeing thing to discover the ability to say “NO” when you have to – it took me nearly 20 years to do that.
I for one will continue to look forward to new WWDN entries popping up in my RSS reader. Even if they’re a little less frequent and even more now knowing that you’re finding a renewed spark to write what you really feel and to try not fall prey to the self censorship that can plague every writer.
You’ve got your priorities in order. Everything else follows naturally from there.
Best wishes, sir.