As an actor and writer, husband and father, I have two often-conflicting monkeys on my back: Monkey number one is Creative Monkey. He occasionally digs his claws into my brains, and refuses to let go until something wonderful comes out. I love him. Monkey number two is Pragmatic Monkey. He regularly wraps his prehensile tail around my neck and only eases his grip when I’m doing the things I need to do to support my family. I don’t necessarily love him, but I’m glad he’s here. From time to time, I can satiate both monkeys, like writing Games of Our Lives, working on CSI, or touring with Earnest Borg9. More often than not, though, I can only satisfy one monkey at a time, and when push comes to shove, Pragmatic Monkey always wins; with a family to support, I just don’t have the luxury of turning my back on him. For the last few years, I’ve been luckily enough to to strike a Balance that makes both Monkeys happy . . . but for most of this year, Pragmatic Monkey has been squeezing the everlivingfuck out of me, and in an effort to make him happy, I’ve ended up taking on far too many responsibilities, and given away way far too much of myself to other people. I’ve rarely seen Creative Monkey, let alone felt his wonderful claws in my brains, and that’s got to change. I miss him.
I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I believe that I didn’t come down with a crippling case of mono that forced me to bring my life to a complete halt just because The Universe hit a two-outer on the River to take me down. So over the last couple of weeks, I’ve taken a very hard look at my life, and looked for The Lesson. After a lot of soul-searching, and long talks with the two most important women in my life (my wife and my mother) I’ve come to the following conclusion: I’m tired. Really, really tired. I guess it’s appropriate that I got mono, because my body physically manifested what I’ve felt emotionally for a long time.
Call it what you want: over-extended, spread too thin, burned-out . . . the bottom line is, in an effort to put lots of irons in the fire, help some people out, and increase my opportunities to retire in style at the age of 25, I’ve given too much of myself to other people, and there hasn’t been enough left over for me and the people I love. The scary thing is, if I hadn’t had to cancel the Red Hat Summit appearance, I may not have realized it until it was too late. When I had to cancel the Red Hat Summit, I was shocked, that, rather than expressing compassion and understanding, I was called “unprofessional,” and a lot of people got very upset with me, because my health prevented me from speaking at their precious conference, and it made them “look bad.” I felt like I wasn’t even a person anymore. I felt like I was an object, a commodity, a number. For months, something had been bothering me, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was like seeing something out of the corner of my eye that vanished whenever I tried to look directly at it, but it suddenly came into focus: I have felt, for a very long time, like people wanted a piece of me, and I’d willingly given it up. I was filled with empty spaces. I had to take a step back, and redraw my boundaries. To quote my favorite TV show of all time: “I am not a number, I am a person.”
There are so many things I want to do, and I haven’t had time to do them. I want to plant a garden. I want to walk my dog every morning. I want to write fiction. I want to finish the two books I’m working on, so I can get into the third. I want to play more poker. I want to take my wife out on dates. Mostly, though, I don’t want to miss out on what little time I have left with my stepkids before they fly right out of the nest in a couple of years. I was working my ass off to provide enough financial security to do all those things, but I had hardly anything to show for it. I was undervaluing myself and my work, and at the end of each day, I was emotionally exhausted and I couldn’t even think about enjoying time with my family. All the while, these people who had gotten a small piece of me — some of them business associates, many of them random Internet readers — kept demanding more and more and more.
When I was so sick about ten days ago, I had a fever-induced epiphany: I needed to make several changes in my life. I needed to redefine some boundaries, and re-organize my priorities.
So let’s get to it. The first thing I have to do is refocus my creative energy, which brings the following changes:
- I have written my last column for Dungeon. When I started, I was under the impression that I could write whatever I wanted, as long as it was related to gaming. So I wrote about games I love, like Illuminati and Car Wars. I wrote about playing Magic with Nolan, convention gaming, and playing True Dungeon at SoCal GenCon last year. I really enjoyed writing the columns, but the feedback I got was largely negative (it’s really time to just get the fuck over Star Trek, nerds), so Erik Mona, my editor at Dungeon, asked me to write columns that were focused purely on D&D. I tried my best, but my life was just too full to put in the time that running or participating in a campaign requires. It was very hard to write a column about D&D when I couldn’t play at least once a week, so I told Erik last week that I felt that I couldn’t provide the quality and consistency that he and Dungeon readers deserve, and he graciously accepted my resignation. I loved working for Erik, who is a fantastic editor, and I will continue to read both Dungeon and Dragon, which I feel have improved tremendously under his leadership. I’m sad that I can’t be part of it any longer.
- I’ve resigned from igrep. I like the people who created it very much, and I completely believe in their technology — if you’re a developer, and you’re not using igrep, you’re wasting a lot of time — but it’s clear to me that I can’t provide the services that they need from a spokesman, and it’s best for everyone if I invest my time and energy somewhere else.
- I am not doing any more conventions this year. I don’t have anything new to offer in terms of creative content right now, and I’m not going to go out and rehash the same old shit. It’s boring for me, and the audience deserves something better. So I’m taking the rest of the year off to work on new material.
Hopefully, these changes will allow me to reclaim a lot of time and energy that I can spend with my family, tending that garden, and writing.
I also need to make some fairly significant changes to my blog. I have to keep perspective and focus: I write this blog because it’s fun and enjoyable, and ultimately I have to write it for me, and I have to write in a way that keeps me comfortable. There’s this guy named Paul Phillips, who the poker pros call “Dot Com,” because he made a megatillion quatloos during the dotcom boom. He retired in style, and became a seriously good poker player. He also writes one of the greatest blogs (actually a live journal) that I have ever read, and I don’t say that with any hyperbole. He writes about poker, other players, technology, geeky things, and his baby girl with wonderful, honest, prose. But he’s got his boundaries, which he makes very clear. His Live Journal helped me come to the conclusion that I could redefine my boundaries and still have a blog worth reading and writing. For example, his FAQ is unambiguous and makes it clear that he’s not interested in any bullshit. It doesn’t mean he’s a dick, it just means that he knows what his boundaries are and that he’ll defend them. I respect that more than I can possibly put into words, and I intend to follow his example. (Though I probably wouldn’t have folded that Queen-high flush to TJ Cloutier at the Bike, when only two cards in the deck beat me ;). I’ve also read and thought about another blogger I respect, Tony Pierce. Tony recently wrote a great post about what happens when bloggers experience blogger burnout. At one time or another, I have been guilty of every single entry on his list, right up until today. Starting right now, I will change that. I don’t think everyone is going to be happy with these changes, but I think that will say more about the individual than it does about me. In fact, if you see me as a fellow blogger, writer, stepparent, privacy advocate, spouse, pet owner, poker player, [whatever] aficionado, geek, or human being, I’m pretty sure you’re going to understand all of these things. As a matter of fact, if these changes upset or offend you, you should probably not be reading WWdN in the first place, and I hope you’ll leave.
- I hate Reality TV, and I feel like my blog is dangerously close to crossing the line from ” this interesting thing happened to me” to “come with me while I take a shit in the woods.” I need to tell more stories, and bear less soul. You know what I’ve learned about The Internets? It’s full of freaks, and if a high-profile person bears too much soul, they really come out of the woodwork and latch on. It’s a little creepy. So, I need to reclaim a lot of myself for myself and my friends and family. If that means people stop reading WWdN, I’m really okay with that. In fact, I hope it has a bit of a Darwin effect.
- When I get the redesign launched, there will be minimal advertising. I’m doing this because I believe I’ve found a tasteful and non-intrusive way to help support my family. I will never allow WWdN to become a billboard, and I will never allow my writing to be influenced by, or secondary to advertising or sponsorship. I do plan to enter a few affiliate programs, and if I ever link to something that could go through one of those programs, I’ll do it. Again, I’m sure this won’t sit well with everyone. Deal.
- As my blog has grown out of my control in the last year, and taken on a life of its own, I have self-censored several times. Mostly, it’s when I want to rage about what a colossal fucking liar George W. Bush is, what a disgrace he is to my country, and how the mainstream corporate media have completely failed to hold him and his administration accountable for countless lies. I’m a passionate person, and I’m passionate about politics. I’m going to write about it, and I’m not going to pull any punches. It won’t be my primary focus, and I will never be as great a political blog as The Moderate Voice, Josh Marshall or Atrios, but I’ve turned away from political posts for too long. If the world were a bar, America would currently be the angry drunk waving around a loaded gun. Yeah, the other people in the bar may be afraid of him, but they sure as hell don’t respect him. And as soon as he drops that gun, he’s going to get his ass handed to him. I’d rather my country be respected than feared, and I’m going to do whatever I can, however small, to make that happen.
- I will move most of my Los Angeles-specific content to blogging.la, including news about local readings, ACME performances, and the like. I estimate that there are less than one hundred local readers, so it makes more sense to put local stuff on a local site.
- Because I make my living by writing, I’m going to focus most of my time and energy on completing the books I’ve got in production, even if that means I write fewer blogs (though I have noticed that it’s almost axiomatic that when a blogger says, “I’m going to blog less” that they actually blog more). However, I’m not going to keep material off my blog because I’m planning on including it in a future book. I’ve already written a successful book, Dancing Barefoot, that was entirely composed of previously-published material, and Just A Geek would have been even more successful if O’Reilly hadn’t mis-marketed it so badly, against my wishes and advice. I’m not worried about losing book sales because some, most, or even all of the material is available on my blog. I believe 100% in the Long Tail, and I owe much of my success to it.
Still here? Not foaming at the mouth in anger and resentment? Cool. I’m happy, and I’d like to close by sharing a few very cool things that I’m adding to my life:
- For the month of June, I am guest-editing the Technology section of the SuicideGirls newswire. (Newswire is Safe For Work, the rest of the site is not.) I will be putting up about three new technology stories every day this month.
- I’m also guest-blogging for the poker blog pPlayer.com this month. I haven’t posted anything at pPlayer, yet, but I plan on running some book reviews, as well as some interviews with well-known pros, poker bloggers, and authors. Both of these gigs allow the two Monkeys on my back to happily intersect: I get to write about things I love, and I get to support my family a little bit by doing it.
- I’m putting the finishing touches on a podcast. I’m not going to go into any details, because several things are up in the air, but I think it’s going to be pretty damn cool.
If you’ve gotten this far, I probably don’t need to say this, but here it goes anyway: I love writing my blog, and I’m grateful beyond words that so many people have continued to read it through the feasts and famines over the past few years. By making these changes, and announcing them so bluntly, I don’t intend to disrespect or take for granted any of the people who have come with me on the journey from Has-been to Hope-to-be. My need to pull back a little bit and keep a bit more of my life to myself also isn’t intended to disrespect or insult any of the thousands of people who have commented or e-mailed their appreciation of my willingness to be open and honest. In fact, I will continue to be open and honest because that’s the only way I know how to live an honorable and respectable life. (Ironically, it was that openness and honesty that earned me the “unprofessional” charge. Nice.) I just plan to be a little more selective in the things I choose to write about. Like I said, if you’ve gotten this far, I’m sure you understand.
I’d like to close with a little blast from the past . . . a thought for the day:
A small leak will sink a great ship
-Anonymous
Thanks for reading. 🙂
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Best wishes…May you find the peace and equilibrium you seek.
Regardless, I’ll keep reading…
*STANDING O*
This is exactly why I started reading you.
Isn’t it amazing that if you ignore the Universe long enough she will literally punch you in the face hard enough to knock you on your ass as if to say “Hey asshole! Pay attention!”
Welcome back to “you” Uncle Willy.
Bravo Wil! Personally, I had been thinking for a while that you were really getting naked out there on the inet with what you were writing, and wondered how you were able to do it. I kept thinking that it would be nice to start a blog myself, but not if I had to bare my soul like WW did. It’s good to see you are going to set boundaries, I think you need them. Keep some mystery about you, otherwise, what else is there? Would love to see more political posts as well as fictional writing. As for those hateful people who won’t understand, *^#@ ’em anyway.
I’ve been reading your blog for what seems like years (probably is), I’d never even considered signing up to post a comment before, that is until I read this entry.
Good for you Wil.
Spending time with my family and friends keeps me sane in my mundane life.
A wise and well-considered post. Wil, I was fortunate enough to run into you in Disneyland last December. You and Anne were exceedingly kind to a blushing and stammering fan of your work (and my husband) and you told me of several writing projects you were working on, including a novel. You also spoke passionately about our dire political straits in a way that gave me hope at a time when the election had crushed my spirit to no small degree. You’re a natural born storyteller and a thoughtful man and writer, so whatever you choose to share with us is a gift to us and we appreciate it. I for one also appreciate the way you generously guide us through your decision process so we can understand and relate to whatever changes are ahead–although you owe us nothing. We couldn’t ask for anything more. Thanks Wil, and good luck getting it all on the right track.
Wil
congratulations on being smart enough, and brave enough, to take the look inside and see what’s going on – and actually acting on it.
the distance Reiki (concentrated mojo) is still flowing for you. Enjoy your transition back to health!
So glad that you are feeling better, Wil!!!!!! 🙂 Hang in there, take care of yourself, and remember that there are lots of people who care about you!!!
I think it’s our age (33), but I went through a similar epiphany this spring, and am devoting much more time to my son. I thought that I needed to put work first, because I am the only source of income for my family. After finally volunteering to chaperone a field trip, it suddenly occurred to me that I had not done so since my son was in first grade – he just finished 5th. I knew only two of the parents!!!! It was a huge wake-up call. Elementary school is over, and I missed a lot of the experience. I have 385 vacation hours saved up from work. 385! It’s time I used them.
Oh, and when are you going to take up PP on his home poker tournament challenge? I think you could get some poker bloggers to make the trip pretty easily…
Prolly want to wait ’til you’re a bit more rested though. 🙂
Hey, man, you gotta do what you gotta do. Thanks for letting us know, it was really considerate, but you didn’t have to. Your blog, like a diary, is for you first, us last.
Best wishes.
Wil. I must applaud you for standing up. You know I believe that our bodies will let us know how far physically and psychologically we can go. Don’t sell your self short on anything. You and your family should come first and then everything else should fall into place. Just remember it is YOUR life. Screw everyone else that can see what you are doing. It matters none for them. Keep your head up and keep getting better. Good thoughts going your way. *peace*
Hi Wil,
You have all my respect for making these decisions. And have you considered taking off the option of getting comments to your blog posts? It seems that this is one of the places where the real freaks come out. I enjoy reading your blog, and I could do without the peanut gallery posts (like this one that I’m writing!) and it might save you some added stress, as well.
Well said, Wil. I couldn’t agree more with your decisions. I’ve fought the battle before of “hwo much do I say, especially about politics” when I found out my grandmother knew about my blog. But like you, I wouldn’t be myself if I wasn’t passionate about politics so I do it anyway.
Take care of yourself and I’m looking forward to the redesing of wwdn and the new stuff down the line.
Will you post links to your blogging.la entries when you write there, at least? Even though I’m not in LA I love reading about your ACME performances and all.
I’m well past 30, but spent Memorial Day weekend with friends at a con and came to the same conclusion as you, Wil — too much work, not enough time to be with friends and have a life where I enjoy the things I do. I’ve begun to take a few small steps to enable me to get back to enjoying my life (including fiction writing, inspiration for which somehow disappeared about 4-5 years ago). Your post is just an affirmation that I need to make it happen for me even more than I thought.
I read your blog because you have a wonderful way with words and I love the stories you share here. Consider this comment a espresso shot of positive mojo for your decision, and may good things come of change [for both of us]. The universe rewards growth.
I’m here for the writing, Wil, because you’re very, very good at it. Given the number of comments posted that support you, I know I’m not alone. You have the ability to put us “in the moment” and I would be grieved to see that end.
I’m sorry that the whack-jobs and soul-suckers have exacted such a toll on you.
“Sometimes, a baby’s gotta do what a baby’s gotta do.” — Tommy, the Rugrats
So go do it, baby.
Wil, my favorite resolution is that you want to tell more stories. In my opinion, that is one of your greatest talents. You sure can tell a story. Good Luck.
Phil
Check out http://www.enworld.org/showthread.php?t=135222 – a thread I started about your dropping the Dungeon column. ENWorld is the largest collection of 3E fans outside of Wizards own boards, and the responses are largely on the ‘Damn, I wish he was still doing it’ side.
I always enjoyed ‘Wil Save’ even when it was not specifically about D&D – it was what it was suppossed to be: a clever and witty writer who also happens to game, revealing bits about The Gaming Life, as it were.
I hope when things settle down and you get back some time for your personal life that you might reconsider another column for eithe Dungeon or Dragon.
Wil, I haven’t been commenting much here lately. I still drop by when I can, as I enjoy reading what you write. Life has just been too hectic and full of stuff to deal with. We had to put down one of our older cats this week, and it was very difficult. She’d been fighting an incurable respiratory illness for 3 years now, and then a new complication came along forcing us to make the decision we had been putting off.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I’m still reading your blog, and will continue to do so. Change can be good. Go for it. 🙂
Good for you. Your genuineness and dedication to your values is what keeps me reading.
As a long time blogger myself, I hear you on many levels. You are right to prioritize. I look forward to what that monkey pulls out of your brains when you and he get yourselves organized!
Write On!
Crapfark Wheaton is the lovefest enough? Not that you don’t deserve it or anything, but I didn’t see a single negative comment. You da man and all, and I hope you get everything as sorted as you wrote.
Still the best blog going man. Change what you want, but keep your soul in it and we’ll be here.
Wil, thank you for all you have shared with us via WWDN. Also, thank you for taking the time to think through what you need to do to take care of yourself and your family. If you don’t take care of yourself, those of us who truly enjoy reading your writing won’t have anything to read! So, in a purely selfish way, Thanks!
Kudos to you — actor, writer, husband, father. Now, go say hello to Creative Monkey. More than the Internets want to read what you have to create …
Wil, I give you props. While I find your blog highly entertaining and informative, I totally understand about needs to put out substance without blood, and really prioritizing whats important to you. You are not a dancing monkey, but I appreciate that you do what so many of us can’t or won’t, and thats put yourself out there day after day for public consumption.
Keep it real, and keep yourself healthy and sane.
Will, you are awesome. While I don’t necessarily agree with everything you plan to do with the “new” blog, I’m glad you’re doing it for you. I think everyone needs to step back once in a while and see if their life is really where they want it to be. It’s great that you’re taking the time to do this now. It’s one the things I respect most about you, because if memory serves me correctly, you’ve done this before. Maybe not in the same way, but a reassessment there was.
Anyway, not to freak you out, but last night I dreamed I was lost in a mall and you gave me directions to the movie theater. (I swear it’s because one of the last things I saw before logging off last night was that you’d posted a new post and I fell asleep thinking I needed to read it in the morning.) But the whole giving direction thing seems to have come through, as you’ve reminded me to do something I’ve needed to do for a few months now. So thanks again for being honest and for being you. I wish you LOTS of mojo on this new road!
I’ll try to stop chortling with glee long enough to type my me, too, too. It’s just that I’m sitting over here in the “when I realized what I was doing to myself I had to change my life, and I don’t give a flying fuck what you think about my leaving that ‘good’-for-everyone-but-me work for this less-good-for-you-but-it-*is*-me work” section. And over here, we dance with delight when a newbie joins the ranks, or when a recidivist rejoins.
Don’t take this the wrong way, please, but I am so very glad you got sick. And even happier that you’re making yourself well again.
This is going to be fun. At least, when it isn’t majorly painful…
Five years free, and still walking the edges, one monkey on each shoulder, both pulling my hair,
Honeycomb
Wil,
I have been lurking (and reading) your posts for probably the past year, and have enjoyed _most_ of what you have to say. From what I’ve read, I have surmised that you and I are probably on two ends of the social spectrum (although we are probably kindred souls in more ways than just the surface would indicate). I am a born-again Christian and while I tend to lean right politically, my ideology is probably more socialistic/libertarian (many people, including _Christians_ I have encountered, don’t really seem to understand that Jesus was not a conservative, capitalist, but actually more of a socialist. If you have the desire, check out this passage from Acts to see what I mean: Acts 4:32-35).
Anyway, our differences, as I mentioned above, are probably more alike than not. This most recent post gave me a lot of insight into the man (and husband, father) that you are and has provided me with the motivation I need to set my priorities in order as well. I recently embarked on an exercise (through my church!) that challenged me to examine the story of my life and write that story down. We all have a story to tell, and it was through that process that I was awakened to where I had been, who’d I’d become and how I got where am I today (and provided me the opportunity to change what I dislike in myself). You mentioned in your post your desire to keep more of you for yourself and your family (and I applaud that effort). I am taking a bit of different approach, at least initially, in that I am expanding that story of mine with a plan to share it with family and friends in an effort to become more real both to myself and those around me. It is also my intention to have that story be the beginning for my own blog, to serve as an introduction to the world or who I am and how I came to this point in my life.
All that to say that I will continue to read, and be influenced by, the things you have to say. I look forward to continuing to get to know you a little better and hope to reveal more of myself through future comments on your site. Stay strong bro and know that there is a radical, born-again, bible-believing Jesus Freak out in the world praying for you and your family!!
Steve
Wil,
I have all of about 15 regular readers of my blog, since it is really new and really only my friends read it. I was recently hit with the whole “definition of boundaries” problem on my blog. I have no personal problem with expressing my deepest emotions and thoughts in a public venue, and it is fairly invigorating to do such a thing. I also feel that people keep way too many things secret and to themselves. To quote a very unsettling line from Star Gate SG1, “That which whithers in the light of day, but thrives in darkness does not belong on the vine”. However, there is also the measure of professionalism and public image. As I finish up my graduate career and move forward into the world of neurological research, I find that I need to be careful of what my public image is and how people perceive me. If you Google me, you get my website, which contains my blog. If future employers start reading about my motivation problems relating to the completion of my Ph.D., they may think twice about hiring me in the future. Anyway, I’ve had to change the way I blog. I’ve begun to password protect the posts that I want only my friends to read, and the rest is of a “professional” nature.
The bottom line of this long post, is that I agree with your decisions and I think it is by far the best thing for you. As much as people like us want to bear our souls so that others can learn from our experiences, it is still socially unacceptable to be so publicly open and it creates an air of unprofessionalism. Playing the game is a necessary evil in our society, and there is no escaping the necessity to conform for the good of you and your family. Many people support you Wil, and will continue to support you. The ultra phreaks that have latched onto your site because they need to live a vicarious life through you will go find another victim. My guess is that you will lose the phreak readership and gain more readership from the normalcy category. Do what is best for you, and the right people will support you. Thanks for blogging!
–Ari
way to go, Wil!
Good on ya, Wil!
I remember how much mono sucks and you deserve the rest, man! Get better!
905
I’ve been involved in a couple of online ventures over the years, and I’ve had to pull the plug on each of them in due time. I know you’re not pulling the plug, but the lesson I learned is the one that I think you’re learning. You don’t owe anyone who reads this blog a thing, and if readers think you do, that’s they’re problem and not yours.
I’m a casual reader of your blog, but this post reminded me of how cool it is to run something that people really relate to, but how lame it is that they feel like they’re more a part of it than they really are. And how you somehow feel responsible for that.
Write what you want, make yourself happy – that’s why you’re doing this, right?
Great post Wil…you laid it out there. I respect you…you Go Boy!!
Hi Wil,
I have only commented on your site for about a year now. I am proud of you for putting yourself out there and sharing what you have of yourself and your family but if you need more privacy I don’t blame you for taking it. We all need to draw the line on how far we can stretch in our lives. I know my limits and don’t push myself. I am glad to read your blog and appreciate whatever it is you chose to share. So go out and garden, and walk the dog and live a “normal” life if that’s what makes you happy. Those who care about you, your family and friends, will always be there to support you. As I don’t know you personally I can only offer you my internet “buddy” support.
You have it.
Rosemary
Nothing like a cleansing post on someone else’s blog to remind you how much your own blog, job, family, side projects and other activities are burning you out.
I’m running LAVoice.org.
I’m holding down a day job, which ends with the grant supporting it in 5 weeks.
I’m jobhunting like mad.
I’m freelancing to support one of the jobs I’m pursuing.
I’m raising my 2 kids (mister mom from 5:30 until my wife gets home at 8:30, and then again in the a.m.)
I’m overseeing minor, but naggingly long-running home renovations.
I’m working feverishly on a side project that just had the friggin’ afterburners lit on it.
I’m … slowly losing my mind. Unfortunately, I don’t yet have the luxury of pulling in *any* of these tentacles.
Good on ya, Wil. Pare it down to what really matters.
best,
mack
Gosh, I’m the bazillionth commenter, but maybe you’ll get to this one.
When I first started reading your blog, I wasn’t all that blog savvy, or internet savvy for that matter, but the following statement from this post is almost precisely what I thought:
“You know what I’ve learned about The Internets? It’s full of freaks, and if a high-profile person bears too much soul, they really come out of the woodwork and latch on. It’s a little creepy.”
I thought this by just reading how often and personal some of the comments were regarding your posts.
It’s wonderful that you are redirecting your energies towards your family. I can’t say I wasn’t bummed you aren’t doing anymore conventions though, I was hoping to get my book signed at the SD ComicCon. 😛 That’s okay, such is life.
Hope you get back to 100% soon.
Wil,
I strive not to be one of the freaks that come out of the wood work to creep you out (lucky for you that you live so far away hehe).
Seriously…you know you didn’t start this blog caring about what others think about you,right. so that only thing that will remove you from my favorites list if i even suspect you are not being true to yourself….
Why not pull a Dave Chapelle and leave the country to reprioritize and define your direction. ( I recommend somewhere tropical instead of South Africa).
Heather
Hi, Wil. Fantastic posting. My pragmatic monkey has been kicking my creative monkey’s ass for several years now. The creative one creeps out now and then and tries for some more attention, but hasn’t really gained much ground until about a month ago. I’ve started blogging, and like to think that I’m getting my ‘voice’ back, and also getting my writing back to where it used to (and should) be. I love that I can share stories and thoughts with people, and also that it keeps my creative juices flowing. There’s also something to be said for feeling like part of a ‘community’. As in, bloggers.
That said, I’ve already thought a bit about boundaries – and how those boundaries will impact what I’m posting – and it was great to read your thoughts on the same. Also, I’m trying to get into writing more and although I’m not nearly as project-heavy as you are, my head was going that way and it was good to be reminded of how it feels to be mentally worn out.
Finally…I had mono last year, and I feel for you. It took me quite a while to feel totally normal again, and be warned – you might feel a lot more tired than normal for quite a while. Get better and keep writing. I’ll keep reading.
Maybe your example will help some of us rethink our own overextensions. I hope so!
Wil,
Us Monkeys were worried about you! I am so glad to see that you are feeling better. Your blog is like your home so you need to make it a comfortable place for you to rest. We are all just flies on the wall getting a little peek into your thoughts. I, for one, look forward to your political posts and poker too. You have a unique ability to write in a way that makes one care more about things because of your passion for the subject. You are a joy to read…what ever you decide to share. Now go back to bed and rest. YOu must be exhausted from that long post!
Thanks Wil for everything. Congratulations on the new sense of awareness, it’s amazing what happens when it hits you (and frankly I wish it would come to more people). You’ve got a lot of caring fans, and I think, if anything, that number is going to grow as a result of this post.
A-f’in-‘men!
-jason
I’ve just started reading your site, Wil. Good on you for standing up for yourself and for your family. Anyone who does not recognize that for the honorable thing it is should be promptly ignored.
Take the helm, Mr. Wheaton.
Wil – Great post. Your paragraph that starts with “There are so many things I want to do, and I haven
Wil – I wanted to express my support for your decision but found my own words were inadequate. Fortunately I found a quote that summed it up nicely.
Decisions are a way of defining ourselves. There comes a time in life when there is nothing else to do but go your own way. Where you are headed there are no trails, no paths, just your own instincts. –Sergio Bambaren
Amen
I have been following your blog for a long time, and it’s always seemed like on certain issues you were holding back… It’ll be good to see you let loose…
I hope this leads to more enjoyment of your blog, as at the end of the day, that’s what it’s there for.
Getting sick was one the best things that ever happened to me – I hope it can be for you too… I was out of action for about six months with Gallstones and subsequent surgery and liver complications. While I laid low – I completely reassessed my life and I am far more focused and clear thinking as a result, it was at this time that I read Just a Geek. Your journey through the “prove to everyone” phase was inspirational to me.
I would pay subscription to read this, screw people who say the ads are selling out – you owe them nothing. No-one owns you Wil, you are just one man with one hell of a blog…
I applaud your efforts to redefine your boundaries, I think it is important that we all take a step back on occasion and take an objective look at where we are and where we are headed and make the adjustments that we need to make.
As someone who has been profoundly touched by your openness and honesty I can say that I am greatful for your blog and your passions. Durring the painful time that you lost two dear family friends, believe it or not reading your words of remembrance helped me to finally mourn the loss of one of my pets as well. Something that for reasons I will not go into because of my limits, had not happened until I read your post almost two years later… I have never cried at something I have read like this. And I want to thank you because it gave me closure.
Also speaking as someone who is attempting to run their own blog in between life and living I am greatful to hear that you will be voicing your views and helping to get the truth and news out to the world. It seems that it is left up to the public and their talents to get the news out since the news has been cancled by the 5 leaders of the new orginizations. I too have been attempting to do so. Though as of late not with much success, life just seems to prevent it.
I look forward to seeing your new evolution, and am here to stay. Strange or not, crazy or not, I feel like I have connected to a digital friend, one who understands reality and honesty and life, and I like to think that I am correct in calling you a fellow blogger friend. I highly respect your work and appreciate your beliefes and goals. I want to wish you the best of luck and to say keep it up. I look forward to your continuing creativity and intelect.
Alex
Wil, I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better. My pragmatic monkey (which, BTW, sounds like a kick ass name for a band!) has been all over my back lately too. Creativity has taken a backseat to “get the job done”.
In any case, how can I resent the need someone else feels to take care of their family above other priorities? Please… if you were out running around and left Anne and the kids to fend for themselves – *then* I’d open the can of whoop ass on ya.
Family comes first, and rightly so. Don’t let other short-sighted and arrogant people try to dissuade you otherwise. At the end of the day, your regrets aren’t going to be “I really wish I’d gone to that convention”, but “Damn, I really wish I’d been around more when the kids were still kids….”
You are a kick-ass writer, a kick-ass actor and a totally kick-ass dad.
Awesome. Another thought is to do what Dooce.com has done. She’s turned off comments altogether and I know her site continues to get new readers daily. It’s easier to filter email, and you have a way to track people who contact you. Dooce.com also makes money from ads, but they are so unobtrusive that you hardly notice them. It’s classy.
Set your hard boundries. I bet you’ll find that it really helps de-clutter your mind. Best of luck. I’ll be back, regardless.
I’m not sure if a lot of us go through this particular change because it has something to do with being in our 30s or just possibly tuning into whatever message the universe is broadcasting, but I know a lot of people who are having similar epiphanies at this moment. I think people are starting to really want to just slow down, to refocus on the important things in life. The fact that you’re refocusing your life is just another step on the path that we’re all walking. People who don’t understand that just aren’t there yet.
Some of us do ‘get it,’ Wil. We’ll be here.
I am so proud of you.
Do what is best for you and your family, baby. I’m not going anywhere, but you knew that.
Remeber that is it your blog and you get to do and say whatever you want in it because it is yours.