As an actor and writer, husband and father, I have two often-conflicting monkeys on my back: Monkey number one is Creative Monkey. He occasionally digs his claws into my brains, and refuses to let go until something wonderful comes out. I love him. Monkey number two is Pragmatic Monkey. He regularly wraps his prehensile tail around my neck and only eases his grip when I’m doing the things I need to do to support my family. I don’t necessarily love him, but I’m glad he’s here. From time to time, I can satiate both monkeys, like writing Games of Our Lives, working on CSI, or touring with Earnest Borg9. More often than not, though, I can only satisfy one monkey at a time, and when push comes to shove, Pragmatic Monkey always wins; with a family to support, I just don’t have the luxury of turning my back on him. For the last few years, I’ve been luckily enough to to strike a Balance that makes both Monkeys happy . . . but for most of this year, Pragmatic Monkey has been squeezing the everlivingfuck out of me, and in an effort to make him happy, I’ve ended up taking on far too many responsibilities, and given away way far too much of myself to other people. I’ve rarely seen Creative Monkey, let alone felt his wonderful claws in my brains, and that’s got to change. I miss him.
I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I believe that I didn’t come down with a crippling case of mono that forced me to bring my life to a complete halt just because The Universe hit a two-outer on the River to take me down. So over the last couple of weeks, I’ve taken a very hard look at my life, and looked for The Lesson. After a lot of soul-searching, and long talks with the two most important women in my life (my wife and my mother) I’ve come to the following conclusion: I’m tired. Really, really tired. I guess it’s appropriate that I got mono, because my body physically manifested what I’ve felt emotionally for a long time.
Call it what you want: over-extended, spread too thin, burned-out . . . the bottom line is, in an effort to put lots of irons in the fire, help some people out, and increase my opportunities to retire in style at the age of 25, I’ve given too much of myself to other people, and there hasn’t been enough left over for me and the people I love. The scary thing is, if I hadn’t had to cancel the Red Hat Summit appearance, I may not have realized it until it was too late. When I had to cancel the Red Hat Summit, I was shocked, that, rather than expressing compassion and understanding, I was called “unprofessional,” and a lot of people got very upset with me, because my health prevented me from speaking at their precious conference, and it made them “look bad.” I felt like I wasn’t even a person anymore. I felt like I was an object, a commodity, a number. For months, something had been bothering me, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was like seeing something out of the corner of my eye that vanished whenever I tried to look directly at it, but it suddenly came into focus: I have felt, for a very long time, like people wanted a piece of me, and I’d willingly given it up. I was filled with empty spaces. I had to take a step back, and redraw my boundaries. To quote my favorite TV show of all time: “I am not a number, I am a person.”
There are so many things I want to do, and I haven’t had time to do them. I want to plant a garden. I want to walk my dog every morning. I want to write fiction. I want to finish the two books I’m working on, so I can get into the third. I want to play more poker. I want to take my wife out on dates. Mostly, though, I don’t want to miss out on what little time I have left with my stepkids before they fly right out of the nest in a couple of years. I was working my ass off to provide enough financial security to do all those things, but I had hardly anything to show for it. I was undervaluing myself and my work, and at the end of each day, I was emotionally exhausted and I couldn’t even think about enjoying time with my family. All the while, these people who had gotten a small piece of me — some of them business associates, many of them random Internet readers — kept demanding more and more and more.
When I was so sick about ten days ago, I had a fever-induced epiphany: I needed to make several changes in my life. I needed to redefine some boundaries, and re-organize my priorities.
So let’s get to it. The first thing I have to do is refocus my creative energy, which brings the following changes:
- I have written my last column for Dungeon. When I started, I was under the impression that I could write whatever I wanted, as long as it was related to gaming. So I wrote about games I love, like Illuminati and Car Wars. I wrote about playing Magic with Nolan, convention gaming, and playing True Dungeon at SoCal GenCon last year. I really enjoyed writing the columns, but the feedback I got was largely negative (it’s really time to just get the fuck over Star Trek, nerds), so Erik Mona, my editor at Dungeon, asked me to write columns that were focused purely on D&D. I tried my best, but my life was just too full to put in the time that running or participating in a campaign requires. It was very hard to write a column about D&D when I couldn’t play at least once a week, so I told Erik last week that I felt that I couldn’t provide the quality and consistency that he and Dungeon readers deserve, and he graciously accepted my resignation. I loved working for Erik, who is a fantastic editor, and I will continue to read both Dungeon and Dragon, which I feel have improved tremendously under his leadership. I’m sad that I can’t be part of it any longer.
- I’ve resigned from igrep. I like the people who created it very much, and I completely believe in their technology — if you’re a developer, and you’re not using igrep, you’re wasting a lot of time — but it’s clear to me that I can’t provide the services that they need from a spokesman, and it’s best for everyone if I invest my time and energy somewhere else.
- I am not doing any more conventions this year. I don’t have anything new to offer in terms of creative content right now, and I’m not going to go out and rehash the same old shit. It’s boring for me, and the audience deserves something better. So I’m taking the rest of the year off to work on new material.
Hopefully, these changes will allow me to reclaim a lot of time and energy that I can spend with my family, tending that garden, and writing.
I also need to make some fairly significant changes to my blog. I have to keep perspective and focus: I write this blog because it’s fun and enjoyable, and ultimately I have to write it for me, and I have to write in a way that keeps me comfortable. There’s this guy named Paul Phillips, who the poker pros call “Dot Com,” because he made a megatillion quatloos during the dotcom boom. He retired in style, and became a seriously good poker player. He also writes one of the greatest blogs (actually a live journal) that I have ever read, and I don’t say that with any hyperbole. He writes about poker, other players, technology, geeky things, and his baby girl with wonderful, honest, prose. But he’s got his boundaries, which he makes very clear. His Live Journal helped me come to the conclusion that I could redefine my boundaries and still have a blog worth reading and writing. For example, his FAQ is unambiguous and makes it clear that he’s not interested in any bullshit. It doesn’t mean he’s a dick, it just means that he knows what his boundaries are and that he’ll defend them. I respect that more than I can possibly put into words, and I intend to follow his example. (Though I probably wouldn’t have folded that Queen-high flush to TJ Cloutier at the Bike, when only two cards in the deck beat me ;). I’ve also read and thought about another blogger I respect, Tony Pierce. Tony recently wrote a great post about what happens when bloggers experience blogger burnout. At one time or another, I have been guilty of every single entry on his list, right up until today. Starting right now, I will change that. I don’t think everyone is going to be happy with these changes, but I think that will say more about the individual than it does about me. In fact, if you see me as a fellow blogger, writer, stepparent, privacy advocate, spouse, pet owner, poker player, [whatever] aficionado, geek, or human being, I’m pretty sure you’re going to understand all of these things. As a matter of fact, if these changes upset or offend you, you should probably not be reading WWdN in the first place, and I hope you’ll leave.
- I hate Reality TV, and I feel like my blog is dangerously close to crossing the line from ” this interesting thing happened to me” to “come with me while I take a shit in the woods.” I need to tell more stories, and bear less soul. You know what I’ve learned about The Internets? It’s full of freaks, and if a high-profile person bears too much soul, they really come out of the woodwork and latch on. It’s a little creepy. So, I need to reclaim a lot of myself for myself and my friends and family. If that means people stop reading WWdN, I’m really okay with that. In fact, I hope it has a bit of a Darwin effect.
- When I get the redesign launched, there will be minimal advertising. I’m doing this because I believe I’ve found a tasteful and non-intrusive way to help support my family. I will never allow WWdN to become a billboard, and I will never allow my writing to be influenced by, or secondary to advertising or sponsorship. I do plan to enter a few affiliate programs, and if I ever link to something that could go through one of those programs, I’ll do it. Again, I’m sure this won’t sit well with everyone. Deal.
- As my blog has grown out of my control in the last year, and taken on a life of its own, I have self-censored several times. Mostly, it’s when I want to rage about what a colossal fucking liar George W. Bush is, what a disgrace he is to my country, and how the mainstream corporate media have completely failed to hold him and his administration accountable for countless lies. I’m a passionate person, and I’m passionate about politics. I’m going to write about it, and I’m not going to pull any punches. It won’t be my primary focus, and I will never be as great a political blog as The Moderate Voice, Josh Marshall or Atrios, but I’ve turned away from political posts for too long. If the world were a bar, America would currently be the angry drunk waving around a loaded gun. Yeah, the other people in the bar may be afraid of him, but they sure as hell don’t respect him. And as soon as he drops that gun, he’s going to get his ass handed to him. I’d rather my country be respected than feared, and I’m going to do whatever I can, however small, to make that happen.
- I will move most of my Los Angeles-specific content to blogging.la, including news about local readings, ACME performances, and the like. I estimate that there are less than one hundred local readers, so it makes more sense to put local stuff on a local site.
- Because I make my living by writing, I’m going to focus most of my time and energy on completing the books I’ve got in production, even if that means I write fewer blogs (though I have noticed that it’s almost axiomatic that when a blogger says, “I’m going to blog less” that they actually blog more). However, I’m not going to keep material off my blog because I’m planning on including it in a future book. I’ve already written a successful book, Dancing Barefoot, that was entirely composed of previously-published material, and Just A Geek would have been even more successful if O’Reilly hadn’t mis-marketed it so badly, against my wishes and advice. I’m not worried about losing book sales because some, most, or even all of the material is available on my blog. I believe 100% in the Long Tail, and I owe much of my success to it.
Still here? Not foaming at the mouth in anger and resentment? Cool. I’m happy, and I’d like to close by sharing a few very cool things that I’m adding to my life:
- For the month of June, I am guest-editing the Technology section of the SuicideGirls newswire. (Newswire is Safe For Work, the rest of the site is not.) I will be putting up about three new technology stories every day this month.
- I’m also guest-blogging for the poker blog pPlayer.com this month. I haven’t posted anything at pPlayer, yet, but I plan on running some book reviews, as well as some interviews with well-known pros, poker bloggers, and authors. Both of these gigs allow the two Monkeys on my back to happily intersect: I get to write about things I love, and I get to support my family a little bit by doing it.
- I’m putting the finishing touches on a podcast. I’m not going to go into any details, because several things are up in the air, but I think it’s going to be pretty damn cool.
If you’ve gotten this far, I probably don’t need to say this, but here it goes anyway: I love writing my blog, and I’m grateful beyond words that so many people have continued to read it through the feasts and famines over the past few years. By making these changes, and announcing them so bluntly, I don’t intend to disrespect or take for granted any of the people who have come with me on the journey from Has-been to Hope-to-be. My need to pull back a little bit and keep a bit more of my life to myself also isn’t intended to disrespect or insult any of the thousands of people who have commented or e-mailed their appreciation of my willingness to be open and honest. In fact, I will continue to be open and honest because that’s the only way I know how to live an honorable and respectable life. (Ironically, it was that openness and honesty that earned me the “unprofessional” charge. Nice.) I just plan to be a little more selective in the things I choose to write about. Like I said, if you’ve gotten this far, I’m sure you understand.
I’d like to close with a little blast from the past . . . a thought for the day:
A small leak will sink a great ship
-Anonymous
Thanks for reading. 🙂
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Hey, Will. As one of your LA readers (come on, only 100?), I want to let you know that there are a lot of people who car about you and would rather see you healthy and happy than burnt out.
I really don’t want to sound like one of those weird people, I’m just an aspiring actor who has appreciated your work on screen since I was a kid, and on the page (virtual and paper) more recently. Sometimes I feel like that weird guy, though, because I know more about your life than some of my friends, though you’ve never heard of me. I loved seeing you on stage at ACME. When I can afford to, I want to start taking classes there. I was playing poker before I read about it on your site, but now I want to play at a secret underground tournament, and maybe with The Wil himself someday.
My point is simple. You inspire people. You’ve done more with your life than most people twice your age, and you’ve shared your successes (and tragedies) with the world.
Thanks. Feel better, and take care of yourself and your family first.
TR
I liked you when you played Gordie and Wesley way too many years ago for my liking (I’m 33 going on 80). I’ve come to love you reading your blog – getting to know you through WWdN, I feel like you’re one of the buds I used to drink with back in my 20s (except that, no offense, they were all Young Republicans). You’re a mensch.
This is easily the best blog post I’ve read anywhere in the last month. Your new priorities are right and true (especially in the knowing that you need them validated by no one but yourself).
“A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do”
John Wayne
This is my first visit here, but i read that entire entry.
I like to read blogs on the internet to find out what other people in the world enjoy, dislike, think about, experience, etc. People interest me, but I don’t expect anything from them just because I read their blog. And people shouldn’t from you either.
If they get upset, f**k ’em. Live your life, enjoy your family, do what’s best for you.
After reading that one entry I will come back and read again. You’re articulate and interesting… and I look forward to your political views being expressed. It seems like most of America felt/feels the need to censor themself from saying anything against the President and his administration, but more need to speak out. I am also worried, angered, frustrated by things right now. I love your analogy of America at a bar… perfect!
“We can’t tear out a single page of our lives, but we can throw the whole book in the fire.” -George Sand
“Life is a merry-go-round, by going around in circles, we find stuff we missed the first time around.” – ‘The Woodsman’
God, do I know those monkeys. Only mine have wings, and blue faces, like in Oz.
God, do I know those monkeys. Only mine have wings, and blue faces, like in Oz.
God, do I know those monkeys. Only mine have wings, and blue faces, like in Oz.
God, do I know those monkeys. Only mine have wings, and blue faces, like in Oz.
God, do I know those monkeys. Only mine have wings, and blue faces, like in Oz.
God, do I know those monkeys. Only mine have wings, and blue faces, like in Oz.
Speaking your mind is what makes you human Wil and makes reading your blog fun to read. Even if the posts are going to be a bit shorter, who cares? Just keep it real and speak your mind like you’ve alyays have. You deserve a time out. Get back to being YOU, and frak all those who think it’s all about them.
Just my 2-cents
Good on ya, Wil!
To say I disagree with your political leaning would be an understatement, but I respect you as an intelligent person and believe you have the right to say what you want to.
I don’t comment much, but I can understand every bit of what you’re saying. I have the opposite problem and have decided to rectify the situation by being more creative and giving. The point of this post is, however, to say that I understand and support you. I read this blog because I feel like we could be friends if we knew each other. I like that there is someone out there with a similar head on his shoulders, and I particularly like that you have decided to stop pulling punches! I don’t like what Bush is doing either and look forward to reading your opinion. Good luck.
P.S.- There is a trading card game out there called Vs., if you haven’t seen it. It uses characters from both Marvel and DC comics and uses multiple cards based on the different incarnations of said characters. Its a lot of fun and makes for a lot of cool conversation with younger people who may not have ever seen Sinestro as a member of the Green Lantern Corp. What I’m getting at is that it might be a good bonding game if your kids like comic books.
Wil,
I’m glad you did a little house cleaning to clear the plate a little bit. It becomes difficult to be the type of father and husband that you obviously desire to be if stretched too thin.
I would like to tell you one thing about your blog you did not know; how it affected me.
I read your site for about a year, checking in daily, not in some perverted desire to cyber-stalk, but because I saw a guy about my own age trying to develope as a writer, something I’ve always wanted to do. Seeing you struggle and succeed at it gave me the motivation to write my first screenplay, which I did send to your agent, as you were the inspiration behind the lead character. Although the funding fell through on that project, I continued to write and am now working on the third, which is pre-sold to a young director/producer here in Houston. Without your guideance, it may never have happened.
Even though we disagree politically, I’m glad you’re the you that you are; keep it up.
Sounds like a practical approach that will serve you and your fans. A suggestion: James Lileks (www.lileks.com) has a similar blend of family and politics (he leans with you own the former, opposite you on the latter), with as many tangents and categories as you have, and he’s created something called a “screedblog” to go with his family/pop-culture/general-interest blog. Permits selective browsing. That structure may hold some value for you as well.
Keep getting better, ignore the idiots, hone your craft, take care of your family. The rest will settle into place.
Go for it Wil!
I always enjoy reading any entry that shows up in my feed reader.
Wil,
I liked your columns in Dungeon, and I spoke up for you on the paizo messageboards (when so many others did not)…I’ll be sorry to see you go.
Having said that, I hope you don’t mind overly much that I voted for GWB…twice. Would do so again if it were constitutionally permissible. Alas. Your God-given right to disagree is fully respected, though. Cherish your ideals. Best wishes for you, your career, and your family.
LG
Great blog, Wil. Ya, it’s tough to set boundaries and stay out of the “come watch me take a shit” mode. It’s liberating to go online and say whatever you want, whether it’s about politics, personal stuff, or whatever, to people you know you’re never going to meet IRL. But I’m not a celebrity like you are, dude.
Keep those posts coming!
Wil
As Oscar Wilde said, “the first duty in life is to oneself.”
For what it’s worth you have my support in whatever you do and I’ll still have this site on my bookmarks.:-)
Good for you Wil!
I’ve been lurking on your blog for what seems like ages. I thought you would like to hear my support. Family always comes first.
Jason
I think the first thing you need to do is buy some tranquilizers for those damned monkeys. Monkeys can be the suck sometimes, especially if you are getting squeezed by both of them.
Take back your life, and feed your monkeys some bad dates.
Seriously, though, good for you.
You need to take charge. It is, after all, your life.
Jorge
good for you wil,
i will still be readig your site(smile)
i doint see how people can be so needy
clawing grabbing poking until you just wish
flanders was dead.
i do not expect anything from you. i am
geratful when you chose to make thoughts
and experienes availible to us in a written media.
anything you chose to do, youll have my good thoughts sent your way.
ROCK!
C.
You really do give too much of yourself away on this site. Good luck in everything you do!
Wil,
All I have to say is good for you. I’m very happy for you that this illness provided you with the necessary time to step back and take a breath. I’ve been reading your blog for years now and the one thing that I’ve always respected about you is your candidness and your honesty. You provide hope to other artists and geeks that anything is possible. Your level-headed and in no way a “dick.” Don’t worry about the shmucks in the world that get mad because you didn’t kiss their ass today. There are many more fans like me that respect what you do and appreciate you sharing your life. Take care and God bless.
Jeff
Wil,
As 200 other people have already said, this is your blog; write whatever you are comfortable with. I’ve always enjoyed the stuff about your personal life, but on the other hand, I’ve been thinking for a while now that someone needs to talk to you about boundaries. Sorry about slipping into jargon. I’m a caseworker with a mental health agency.
I would love to read more political posts. I would also like to read about your gaming experiences as in the Wil Save column.
Take care of yourself and your family.
Lee
Hey Wil,
I have been lucky enough to own a computer so I can be a part of your website. I have always been proud to be what you could say a member of WWDN. After what I just read I have never been more proud to be part of it. I have said this before, and I will say it again, you are one damn good guy! Actually, I believe I said it a little different last time, but the way my memory has been latley, I’ll be dang if I can remember it. I enjoy reading your website more than you will ever know.
When I first found out who you were from your movie “Stand By Me”, I said to myself that is one hell of a kid. You took the floor with that movie. I watch that movie every chance I get, which isn’t hard for me to do because I own two copies of it. It is over all my favorite movie of any. If people are so blind to see you are a human just like the rest of us, then I say to hell with them.
To know where you stand is one thing that will get you through life much easier. Whatever changes you make to this website is your business and if there are people who have a problem with that, they need to stand in line to get a one way ticket out of here. I respect your boundries 100% and you can rest asure whatever you do I will be here for the long haul. You are # 1 Wil, and do not ever let anyone make you think any different. I hope you are feeling much better! I’ve kept you in my thoughts every day. The best kind of best to You, Anne, Ryan, and Nolan!! Oh yeah, The best to Ferris also….which might I add if one good looking dog!
Wil –
You gotta do what you gotta do. I’ll certainly keep reading.
Rock on dude and
Fire for effect!
That’s great Wil. Whatever you need to do is fine, we’ll all keep reading. If people have a problem with that then screw ’em.
And about the political stuff. thats wonderful. We need more passionate people like you to be letting their voices be heard. Every little rant can potentially help. If we can get a even a dozen people to speak their minds then maybe just maybe we can save our country.
Best wishes to you and your family.
-Cara
Hey wil…
Priorities are important (even if I don’t agree with all of them **cough** pollitics **cough**), and setting them always helps.
The WPBT thanks you for the well-wishes during our crazy weekend in Vegas. You’ll have to join us for the next one. What’s better than 70 poker-playing bloggers in Sin City!?!?!? I suppose you’ve been reading just some of the insanity.
And remember, there’s a standing offer to join the list on contributors over at Up For Poker 🙂
*delurks*
I’ll echo the sentiments of “Good for you.”
Do what you thinks best, and people will either follow or not. Either way it doesn’t matter, because this is your place and yours alone. What you say goes, and if people expect more than that, well they can kiss your ass, and mine, too. 😉
To Ignatz: Cat Stevens sang a song about you. It wasn’t complimentary.
To Wil: Remember Polonius’s advice to Laertes. Feel free to ignore those whose priorities are different from your own.
Just one comment in a million. Kudos Wil. Do whatever you like and to hell with anyone else. It’s your life.
Do what ya gotta do, Wil.
Some of your best writing comes from baring your soul, it’s like writing assembly instead of C++.
I’ll miss it when it’s gone, but if the freaks are
coming out of the Spooky Woods trying to steal your life/identity/whateva, definately time to defend yourself!
i highly encourage you to rant AND rave about the lunatic “running” our country (right into the ground). here’s a bit of frightening fuel for the fire: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/6/8/1955/65617
it is so orwellian in design and execution. i can’t help but to think that THAT was intentional.
/$.02
Wil,
I fully understand and support your decision.
As someone who has received what you’ve given, I must thank you. The wonderful nuggets you put out there are wonderful to receive.
Your entry reminds me of something a counselor once told me. I mentioned an english proverb “A full cup must be carried steadily.” She responded I don’t think its a cup, its more like a bunch of shot glasses in your hand.
Its a metaphor that has stuck with me and I think is apt. If you feel the need pitch a shot glass that doesn’t fit in your hand.
Take care of yourself Wil. Self-care is one of the most important skills you can learn.
Haven’t read all of the other comments, hope I’m not the only one to say this.
>
Please at least announce them once in a while. I don’t live in LA and would not have known of and planned for your delightful DANCING BAREFOOT reading if it weren’t for the blog.
Gilder in San Antonio, TX
Duh. Being a non-geek, I posted the above as a knee-jerk reaction, then reviewed the “Appearances” page. Please disregard…except for the “delightful” part!
Gilder
*slapping herself*
Wil-
Looks like you got your bounce back. Good to hear!
I’ve never started a blog because I haven’t felt comfortable exposing so much of myself, my family, and friends. I’ve actually always appreciated that while you share some of your personal and business, it’s really mainly an illusion.
Your personal life is your own. I enjoy your reveries. No, I don’t agree with all of them, but you always write about them in an interesting way.
We’ll take what we can get. We totally support your choices.
Keep taking care of yourself. Glad you’re better.
Anne
Wil –
You’ve just described every frustration every artist has ever felt. The forces in the universe that pull us to put food on our tables and the ones that pull us to create something that our souls need. There are a few lucky ones that can combine both. I’m not a computer geek, I don’t play poker and I’m not into gaming. I don’t understand what the hell you’re talking about half the time, but I still go to read your blog every night before I go to bed. Just makes me smile and I’m comforted knowing that someone who has had fame has normal problems just like me. Sometimes I feel so creatively stagnant it’s suffocating. There’s just something in your writing that speaks to the human condition. The thing we all need – a connection to other humans. Don’t apologize for anything – do what you need. Because at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what anyone who reads your site thinks. Rock on, my friend…
Melissa – Atlanta, GA
I just finished reading Just A Geek this evening. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I linked to your post because I find that I have been experiencing blogger burnout myself. I started it as a lark, kept it going to keep in touch with friends and family when I ‘lived’ in Germany and maintain it because it is sortof like breathing now. But I find myself disgusted with my own content (or lack thereof). I am still formulating thoughts as to what that your post means to me, but the thoughts that Tony put up are slooshing around in my brain now, working their way to something.
A long-winded comment, to say what probably everyone else says, “Way to go. I think you are great.” (Even though I think I only saw like four episodes of TNG and can’t remember much of SBM except the horrible blueberry scene)
Good on you. We all need to rethink our boundaries and desires fairly regularly – it’s the only way to prevent ourselves from burning out. I hope it helps you get the right balance of private and professional life you and your family need to be happy. Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron has some very cool books out about dealing with boundaries, coping with fears, and retaining balance in a world that often seems to be crazy. Whatever your religious beliefs or lack thereof, they’re very practical and helpful. Good luck 🙂
Good on you. We all need to rethink our boundaries and desires fairly regularly – it’s the only way to prevent ourselves from burning out. I hope it helps you get the right balance of private and professional life you and your family need to be happy. Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron has some very cool books out about dealing with boundaries, coping with fears, and retaining balance in a world that often seems to be crazy. Whatever your religious beliefs or lack thereof, they’re very practical and helpful. Good luck 🙂
Yeah Wil!!!!
Let’s here it for mono induced ephiphanies. I was just telling a friend of mine about my own life evaluations during my mono-sidelined couple of weeks. It really has been a blessing in disguise.
And for those nay-sayers who called you “unprofessional” and dogged you out for being sick – they can kiss my big white mono recovering rearend!!
I’m thrilled for you. :o)
mmmm. a million comments, but it’s the middle of the night so i’m too tired to read them. so, this might be a stupid comment, in light of me not having read the previous ones, but…
the idea that people might get pissed off at you for doing what you want with your blog blows my mind. it’s *your* blog. we’re just alone for the ride.
*shaking head and tutting* man, people are dumb sometimes.
Hey Wil…just found one of the technology articles you wrote for suicidegirls…it’s the one where you and Anne tried to get photos reprinted at Target. (http://suicidegirls.com/news/technology/9180/page1/) Guess what? I’m the gal who Walmart turned away. What a small world, huh? 🙂
Zee
I know so many people who have to be reminded over and over and over that if they don’t take care of themselves first, they’ll be in no shape to take care of anybody else. Personally, I think it’s far less professional to make promises you can’t keep because you run yourself into the ground *repeatedly* than it is to catch on that there’s a problem, and back off gracefully.
–Ember–
P.S. E-Mergen-C did wonders for me when I had Mono.
Hey, Wil! I’ve only recently begun reading your blog, and I have to say its one of the finest I’ve read. I can’t see why anyone would get upset that you are putting “crazy things” like your family and creative livelihood first. If it means I get to read less entries from you, so what? Quality over quantity. Something I’ve learned the hard way with my own blogging is that if I don’t keep up with my life I have nothing to blog about.
I hope things continue well for you, and I hope the mono finally gets put to rest. I caught it on a trip to Scotland once, and it kicked my ass for six months. Cheers!
Do what you need to do, Wil! All these years following your blog (bi weekly morning check-ins help me not kill my co-workers and students) and I’ve actually never even considered the notion that someday *this* might stop. I’m still regularly impressed and I’m always entertained and I thank you for that. Change is a good thing, and I’m content to read whatever thoughts, comments and tidbits you choose to grace us with 🙂
I’m sure the new improved “outspoken” Wil will be as much a joy to read as the rest…welcome fellow ranter! Glad that you are feeling better…few things suck worse than Mono.
Sometimes it good to discover our inner, more selfish selves. It’s amazing how not selfish these selves actually are, though…
Thanks again for doing something that so many of us enjoy and continue looking out for yourself and the family!
Rachel
At the risk of getting slammed, flamed, banned, chastised, persecuted, and spammed (please, not that!), I have an alternate opinion on this matter. My qualifications are I am a regular reader of the site.
Every industry, every position, all jobs have certain qualities and requirements that mandate encumbants to live up to certain standards. For example, janitors need to clean up messes, teachers need to tolerate low pay, politicians need to accept that, no matter what position they endorse and promote, they will alienate one group or another up to and including securing their hatred, millionaires/billionaires need to learn to live with never knowing for sure if people genuinely want to be their genuine friends or are just attracted to them for their money, and celebrities (actors in particular), no matter what their Q-rating is, need to deal with the unreasonable, “you’re just a piece of meat” attitudes of the needy mass public.
Choosing to pursue and choosing to continue to pursue a particular line of work or position in society and subsequently blasting the known requirements of that position seems like a bit of overblown self-pitying, “I want my cake, I want to eat it too, and i don’t want to realize any adverse health impacts from eating the cake.”
Now, PLEASE don’t get me wrong. Janitors, teachers, politicians, millionaires/billionaires, actors, and others certainly have an inalieanable right to belly-ache about their woe-is-me plight. But, it does seem to me to be self-serving, self-defeating, self-absorbed, and ironic to bask in the glory and attention of one’s chosen profession while at the same time dismissing the rigors of that profession.
In these rough and tumble times, its tempting to pine for imagined simpler times, with less demands, more free time, and more personal life-shattering meaning. The reality of it though is that, quite simply, life doesn’t work that way. It just doesn’t. Without messes, we don’t need janitors; we just don’t. And without annoying, irritating, clingy, needy fans, celebrity status loses most all meaning.
Some people argue it’s a matter of reasonable limits. Give the janitor messes to clean-up, but don’t make the messes too messy. Give actors the attention they crave, but only when they are in need of it and up for it. The thing is, life doesn’t work that way. It just doesn’t.
I intend no ill will by expressing my personal thoughts.