do you think you can tell?

The Universe is so weird . . .
I absolutely love the creative experience I have as a writer. I love observing things and recreating them for people who weren’t there. I love it when something very small happens, and I play the “what if . . .” game until I’ve got several hundred words in front of me. I love it when people who have read my books or my blog or Games of our Lives tell me that something I’ve created has touched them in some way (some profound, others merely entertaining, but touched nevertheless.)
When I was in Las Vegas for the World Series of Poker, I was in some weird sort of zone that I don’t entirely know how to explain. I remember that I told a friend of mine, “Yesterday afternoon, The Writer woke up, and I’m just trying to stay out of his way until he says everything he needs to say.” Even though I was mostly writing about poker while I was out there, I still feel that it’s some of the best stuff I’ve written, as far as observing things and recreating them for people who weren’t there go.
But when I got home, The Writer went into hibernation, and it’s been frustrating me. I don’t feel motivated, and when I sit down to write, I’m bored within a few minutes, just about everything I write is forced, and I end up throwing most of it out.
I’ve spent several sleepless nights the last week, thinking about this, tossing and turning, and pacing around the house while I try to figure out what it is that I’m missing. What’s wrong? Why do I feel so . . . listless?
A couple of days ago, it came to me: I miss acting. As much as I love writing, and as much as I hate the bullshit grind of auditioning and all the stupid shit that goes along with it, I miss the joy of performing. Even though I hate the drive down to ACME, and I hate not having free time on Saturday nights, I miss the joy of giving up teh funnay, and I miss being part of that team of great performers. I miss the familiar feeling of eating lunch off the catering truck, having bagels and coffee and breakfast burritos each morning . . . I miss that esprit de corps that I always feel when I’m on the set.
Yeah, as much as I like being a writer . . . I really miss being an actor.
So last night, I sat on my patio, had a cigar, and visualized myself walking onto a set, sides in my hand, kleenex around my collar, make-up on my face, ready to go to work. I saw myself reading scripts and bringing amazing characters to life. When I went to bed, I repeated to myself, “I am a working actor,” until I fell asleep. Whatever. That hippie bullshit is fine, but shit in one hand and visualize in the other, right?
That’s what I thought, too, until this afternoon, when my manager called me with a job offer for a video game. They wanted me to work tomorrow, but I have to go out of town tomorrow morning, so they juggled their schedule and I start recording in two hours. He also had an offer for a movie that shoots next year, and interest from a producer on still another project. Then, about thirty minutes ago, I got a call from an associate of a friend of mine who is a casting director. She offered me a small (one day) role on a movie that works next month!
I did a little dance when I hung up the phone. This just became a very good day.

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108 thoughts on “do you think you can tell?”

  1. Wil – that is great news!! SOOO happy for you. Now we will have some more great ‘on-set’ stories to read, can’t wait
    And just think – you did not have to ask for us to send you Mad Monkey MOJO, it was already there!

  2. daaaaaamn Wil, that hippie bullshit worked! 🙂 Congrats, and good luck. Can’t wait to hear updates about the projects and how they go (although I’m sure you gotta be hush hush on the speifics).

  4. Wow, That was some serious Mojo working! Glad read you are happy. Someone needs to pay you to out play poker and write a book.
    I want my “Wil Wheaton on Poker” book, dammit!
    Peace.

  5. Oh Wil that is so wonderful
    I was really needing to hear some good news & then you had great news to tell – thanks for lifting my sprites up

  8. Hi, this is my first time posting. I’ve been reading your blog for several months now, I really enjoy your writing. I didn’t think I’d ever comment on your blog, but after reading your post today, I just had to. I’ve had similar experiences with the Universe providing over the last few months, and it totally blows me away. (If you read my blog entries from April 20th through April 28th, you’ll see what I mean.) Visualizations are so powerful in manifesting your goals, if it’s something you truly want deep down inside, you’re very specific about what you want, and you’re open to accepting the opportunities the Universe sends you. I think it’s awesome that so many opportunities have been presented to you by the Universe!

  9. I first knew you Wil because of your blog. On a whim, I found it and started reading it right before your CSI guest spot. And then I saw Stand By Me, read Just A Geek, and I must say, you are very talented. You were also the first reason why I started watching Star Trek: The Next Generation (and I’ve since then just been totally sucked in by it, and I giggle like a schoolgirl each time I see you on screen).
    Anyway, your posts just inspire me and cheer me up. I look forward to reading it every day.
    Just reading back on what I’ve typed makes me feel somewhat of a loser… anyway, I have been thinking for a few weeks, “Wouldn’t it be nice to see Wil on the screen again?”
    Lo and behold! Awesome opportunities coming your way. Small, but awesome.

  10. I hear ya. I don’t get to act nearly as much as I’d like, between having a day job and a night job. During the process, I get tired of having to be at rehearsal every night after working a full day, and not seeing my wife for days on end because she’s asleep when I get home, and I’m still asleep in the morning when she leaves. But let a few weeks go by and I’m jonesing for it…

  11. Oops. Did I say day job and night job? I meant day job and wife… although, at the after-party of a recent performance my boss and my wife were talking to each other and I joked that it was funny having both my bosses in the same place.

  12. While I envy your obviously clear knowledge of what you want to do with your life, it’s also inspired me to make a greater stab at (a)deciding what I want to do with *my* life, and (b) making it happen. So, thank you for sharing this with us; for me, hearing that success can come from one’s desires means a lot.
    And congrats on the upcoming acting jobs; more Wil on screen is always a good thing! A bit of a belated happy birthday, too, and that’s it for me.
    ~RQ

  13. Very sweet 🙂
    I miss you not being at ‘What’s My Line?’
    But I’m glad you have some things going now!

  14. All throughout college that writting ‘ho would try and go on vacation whenever I had a paper due… I just started working on 3-4 projects at a time and usually half way into one I would think of something for another… but then again I have ADD so….

  15. Wil,
    I love your writing and enjoy reading your books. It’s a great experience and I hope to read much more of what you have to say. However, you are where you are today because of ACTING. Acting is your genesis and foundation to your career. It has opened all kinds of doors. I’m not saying that without acting you would not have become a writer, though. What I am saying is that your exposure in acting and the fame you gained allowed you to experiment with other things and contributed to a much wider breadth of people to experience who and what you are. At least it seems that way to me.
    Or you can say I’m full of sh*t……..
    😯
    Scott
    🙂

  17. posted a long comment, didn’t show, don’t want to repeat in case it’s in cue or something. short comment came up. ?? anyway, congrats on the news.

  18. Wil, your description about the Writer going into hiberation resonated with me as well. There’s a popular myth that a real Artist always has the drive to make Art — the image of Picasso-like creature in his studio, cranking out the Art from morning to night. Fortunately, it’s a load of garbage! Real art can be a struggle to create, and real artists sweat for their art. As an artist, I also often find it a struggle to be creative. It seems to be a daily battle to uncover the creativity I know is lurking somewhere inside me, and to slowly lure it out with a cookie.

  20. Ack. Ack. (I had this whole post written about needing to live fully so you could act, but I’m full of shit, so I replaced it with some truth I’m qualified to give. Ack.)

  25. Hey Wil – I get how you feel about the grind and the joy of the work. I am new to this acting thing I got my first job this summer and loved it. I was wrapped only a few days ago but I already feel lost without my 2nd family. Congrats on the new projects… and wishing more mojo for you.
    Kel
    (Silly lady who drove from OC with the kids to meet you at the bookstore in San Diego)

  27. This is great news, Wil! Love your writing AND your acting. Do both! You’re multi-talented…so why not?
    Look forward to seeing you on the screen (small or large)!

  28. Wil,
    I love your writing and enjoy reading your books. It’s a great experience and I hope to read much more of what you have to say. However, you are where you are today because of ACTING. Acting is your genesis and foundation to your career. It has opened all kinds of doors. I’m not saying that without acting you would not have become a writer, though. What I am saying is that your exposure in acting and the fame you gained allowed you to experiment with other things and contributed to a much wider breadth of people to experience who and what you are. At least it seems that way to me.
    Or you can say I’m full of sh*t……..
    😯
    Scott
    🙂

  29. Wil,
    I love your writing and enjoy reading your books. It’s a great experience and I hope to read much more of what you have to say. However, you are where you are today because of ACTING. Acting is your genesis and foundation to your career. It has opened all kinds of doors. I’m not saying that without acting you would not have become a writer, though. What I am saying is that your exposure in acting and the fame you gained allowed you to experiment with other things and contributed to a much wider breadth of people to experience who and what you are. At least it seems that way to me.
    Or you can say I’m full of sh*t……..
    😯
    Scott
    🙂

  30. Wil,
    I love your writing and enjoy reading your books. It’s a great experience and I hope to read much more of what you have to say. However, you are where you are today because of ACTING. Acting is your genesis and foundation to your career. It has opened all kinds of doors. I’m not saying that without acting you would not have become a writer, though. What I am saying is that your exposure in acting and the fame you gained allowed you to experiment with other things and contributed to a much wider breadth of people to experience who and what you are. At least it seems that way to me.
    Or you can say I’m full of sh*t……..
    😯
    Scott
    🙂

  31. Yay, more Wil! Which is good because you are a fantastic actor (and stupid Australian tv decided NOT to play Book of Days on Friday. They thought Home Alone was a better choice. I really want to go kick someone for that). But maybe I can just go see some of this new stuff you’ll be in. That would be good. Go Wil!!

  32. Wil,
    I understand the happy dance. Congratulations. There is nothing like being a part of a united group. I am sure your talent will shine through all this. I have enjoyed your web site for quite a while. I have spent the last 15 years largely working alone making violins and while satisfying, longed to be part of something bigger. I just got in to Law School! May I jump around and dance with you?

  34. I have a friend who is a best selling sci-fi author…#1 on sci-fi lists, the whole enchilada. Sometimes she sits down to write and then, well, nothing. Just doesn’t happen. She’s also a costume designer and make up artist, so when the sci-fi stuff doesn’t flow, she does some designing, which she still loves. She’s decided to merge one with the other by writing a book on period hair styles. My point is that it doesn’t always just flow effortlessly from your fingertips to your computer. Sometimes you need the diversion to allow some of the other stuff you love to have room in your life.
    Congrats on the acting gigs. I completely understand what you’re saying. I don’t miss the crap that comes with it, but I do miss the comraderie of a good cast, and the experience of being on stage. There aren’t words to describe that feeling. I think it’s rather like the Harley Davidson bumper sticker I see alot(and it’s a paraphrase here)… If I have to explain it, you wouldn’t get it anyway.

  35. Ahhhh, teh Pink Floyd. Some of the greatest music ever written. When I saw the lyric from Wish You Were Here, I knew this entry would be something extra good.
    Congrats on the new mini-burst of acting work! Karma comes back around rather nicely sometimes, doesn’t it!

  36. Grats! I know that feeling when something is missing and suddenly it hits you, i love creating things and oftimes my job doesn’t afford me any creative license so i’ll get listless till i realize i’m missing something… making this or working on that, working with clay or sewing or graphic design. It’s eash to forge tto fit in time for what nourishes our soul, that sounds hokey but it’s true.
    I look forward to seeing your new work. I loved Toy Soldiers as a kid, still do, and Stand by Me. I caught part of some movie about drilling late one night and was pleasently suprized to see you in it, of course – you died, reminded me of the first time i saw Toy Soldiers. i was so mad when you died. I had to be 11 or 12 but i was really irrationaly pissed. /laugh. Anyhow… grats and enjoy.

  37. Wil,
    It’s good to hear you had a great day! I have always admired your acting abilities and I now admire your writing abilities. I hope you get those parts in the movies. It would be nice to see a down to earth actor for a change. Seems like these days everyone has let it all go to their heads. That is what I like most about you, you treat everyone like a friend. The best of luck on everything for you.

  38. Nice going, Wil! Sometimes all it takes to find an opportunity is to ask nicely (with lots of passion and belief thrown in). Acting, writing, and doing the usual family/domestic stuff sounds like a nice, balanced life. Enjoy and break a leg!
    judytroh

  40. Wil,
    The bit about The Writer in hibernation and you missing acting is a pretty core thought. I mean, if you think about it, all of our thoughts and actions are part of a (closed?) system of cause and effect, endlessly running and tirelessly affecting, not only in the changing canvas of our own minds, but in the members of our (absolute?) environment, whom we are now an eternal part of, either from our presence or absence.
    I for one would love to see you in the top layer. Well, you are, I just mean for everybody. Good luck with it all, Wil. And you know, The Writer might have just missed his brother, right?

  41. ~~ About Writing ~~It had be suggested by many writers that if you want to be a writer, you should write something everyday. Sometimes we get stuck and we have trouble hearing our muse. What should we do? Write about something anyways! It doesn’t have to be life changing, just consistent. But what if you STILL have trouble? Do what Marilyn Whirlwind would do.In the early 1990’s there was a unique series called Northern Exposure. In one episode, Dr. Joel Fleischman (Rob Morrow) asked his unobtrusive secretary Marilyn Whirlwind (Elaine Miles) a question. She was just sitting behind her desk in an empty office being quiet and still. [I’m paraphrasing here] JOEL: “How can you just sit there like that?” MARILYN: “I think about things.” J: “Like what?” M:”Sometimes I think about paperclips… and the color blue.”Now this may seem a bit odd, but I started to think about paperclips. You wouldn’t think that something so unostentatious would be so engaging. But these are a few things I started thinking about regarding the humble paperclip:Who made the first one?Was there a patent?Did they use metal?Who determined the shape/size?Were only certain metals used?Where was the metal mined?Where was that metal sent?How was the wire made?Is the wire coated with another metal?…or with vinyl/rubber?Who’s idea were the ridges on some paperclips?Is the original much different from today

  43. Dear Wil,
    Even though I think you’re a fantastic writer, I also think that you are a spectacular actor, as well. Congratulations on landing the projects you’ll be working on in the next few months.
    Hey, if J Lo can pull off a horrendous acting career and an even more horrendous singing career, I can bet on my life that you’d be able to juggle both writing and acting. The biz might not be very kind at times, but you know that teh monkeh’s have your back, and after the news you received recently combined with being the winner of the poll for your stint on CSI, it seems as if you ARE in demand right now. Your talent truly does shine through, so go for it!!
    Happy belated birthday, BTW…HA HA, you’re STILL a year older than me!! LOL J/K, hope it was a good one!!

  44. Wil Wheaton is a real person!! I’m so impressed. I’m a huge fan. I had heard about your website, but figured it would be much like all the other “celebrity” weblogs.
    A talented actor, and writer. I appreciate it. Keep up the great work.

  45. Wil Wheaton is a real person!! I’m so impressed. I’m a huge fan. I had heard about your website, but figured it would be much like all the other “celebrity” weblogs.
    A talented actor, and writer. I appreciate it. Keep up the great work.

  46. Wil Wheaton is a real person!! I’m so impressed. I’m a huge fan. I had heard about your website, but figured it would be much like all the other “celebrity” weblogs.
    A talented actor, and writer. I appreciate it. Keep up the great work.

  47. Hey Wil, Been meaning to write you about your writing for a long time, because it is frequently very inspiring, and not about acting (which really could be transpsed to whatever my passion or work may be). It’s all the other little daily stuff and observations I dig.
    Particularly, I really enjoyed your post a few weeks ago about bedtime, “sleep, sleep tonight and may your dreams be realized.” We just had our first six months ago (at about 40 for each of us) and every day is something new and amazing. That one really touched me and made me look forward to the future with him, when he will continue to surprise us like that. That was a great little story, which I probably would have never read if I had not been a ST fan and ran across your site a few years ago.
    So I passed that story on to my wife, sans its origin (that being because I am considered by her the uber-geek due to my tech profession and passion, and my scifi leanings, all of which escapes her). So this story touched her in the same way. A few days later we’re watching CNN and their new political blog coverage, and she asks me (couldn’t believe this) what a blog was.
    So I asked her, “Remember that little night time story I sent you?”
    “Yeah.”
    “That was from a blog, a blog can be anything anybody wants it to be, they just write it and post it on the net…. (blah blah blah).”
    “Well who wrote that one? Doesn’t sound like your type of thing.”
    “Remember Wesley Crusher?”
    “No.”
    “From Star Trek, the Captain Picard Star Trek?” (She’s English, and TNG is the only one she likes besides the original, if at all).
    “No way!” And then she thinks for a while. And finally, because I am sort of educated as a writer before all this tech stuff she says, “How come you don’t do a blog thing?”
    So now I am supposed to start a blog. For her I think. Anyway, my point is, your writing is at least as enjoyable as watching anything on the screen or stage. So keep it up!

  50. Hi, it’s me again, the music major turned she-geek.
    When I was growing up, in my family, my parents could be a bit elitist about what was on tv. I was allowed to watch whatever I wanted, but you were subject to ridicule if you watched Star Trek. So, I mostly avoided it, only catching little glimpses. I absorded most everything from the movies (because you could say “There’s nothing else on!”), and from trekkie friends.
    So flash-forward to adult life. I’m in another country, with my husband, whose a bit of a sci-fi geek, but Trek was never shown much here on tv. They started showing TNG reruns, but they skipped around in the episodes, and suddenly stopped. The dvd box sets were on sale, so I picked them up a couple of weeks ago, and it’s been a couple of episodes a night ever since.
    He mentioned nonchalantly, “One of those communicator pins would be cool to have.” My geek ebay-shopping sense filed that comment away for later.
    So I’m sitting here, in the middle of the night. I’m wearing my Jens Hansen One Ring on its chain, and I have ordered not only 1 communicator pin, but 2. Then I started thinking ahead to the Hary Potter movie coming out in November, so I got replica wand to celebrate.
    So that’s 2 communicator pins, a wand, and my ring of power….
    I am such a geek!
    I posted that here because I knew Uncle Willie would understand. 🙂

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