scenes from a departure lounge

I read my book (current read: From a Buick 8, which I’ll finish tonight) while I waited in the departure lounge for my plane today. I did my best to tune out the bickering children behind me, so I only caught a little bit of the conversation a guy had on his cellphone when he sat down next to me.
“Wait.” He said, “so you thought it was a girl, but it was a dude?!”
I stopped reading. My eyes looked at the phrase I craned my neck to look and wasn’t exactly surprised to see Huddie Royer — and behind him, Eddie.
Something was said on the other end of the conversation, and the guy said, “Oh shit, man! Did he grab your weiner?”
The guy laughed about as hard as I would have, had I not bitten down on my cheek, as he got up and walked away.
Later, when I walked down the jetway, I was behind six guys who were clearly all lifelong friends.
“What do we tell the girls when we get back?” One of them said.
In unison, they all replied, “We drank, and we gambled!”
“And then we drank some more!” One of them added. The guy nearest him punched him in the arm, and they all laughed together.
Only in Vegas.

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58 thoughts on “scenes from a departure lounge”

  1. WooHoo!! I’m first!!! BTW, From A Buick 8 rules!!! I love that book. Stephen King’s been my hero since I was 12. The man rocks!! Anyways…

  3. That’s so funny, I love people watching. You can really enjoy yourself doing that. I think you did wel not to laugh out loud though-all credit to you!

  4. Hi Wil,
    This is apropos of nothing here, but I just wanted to say great job at BARGE. From, “…so I had pocket kings under the gun…” I knew it was going to be a great speech. I never got a chance to introduce myself to you (I was the young guy at Binion’s trying to sucker…I mean lure…I mean cordially invite you to into the pot-limit Binglaha game before Lee intervened), so I figured I’d stop by here and say hi. So hi!

  5. S’funny innit? People will now say the most personal things on their mobile phones out in public, just like they were in the privacy of their own homes.
    Still, it makes for fascinating snatches of conversation, that one can only speculate upon, and probably blow out of all proportion.

  6. Haha thats great.. Yeah, I was in Vegas last week(Defcon), and I love that place. So many only-here occurences. I gotta get back to play more craps.. Dammit.

  7. I’m sitting here in my living room on my new laptop that I just got for school, endlessly trying to load all my music into iTunes at 2:52am. I decided to take a break and check some things on the internet, one being your blog, and when I read your post it made me laugh out loud. Thank you for a much needed laugh break.
    -Cara

  8. Hehehe. This is precisely why I love eavesdropping on people’s conversations. It may be rude, but it is too funny to miss! Man, documenting the weirdness of life makes life itself a lot easier!

  9. Someday. Oh yes, someday indeed. Someday I will descend on Sin City, and I will make its streets my own. Oh yes, my very own little playground of deceit and evil…
    Just as soon as I imporve my poker game about 35732657 levels, and find the right pair of shades to counter Fossil Man’s…
    What had you back in Vegas?

  10. Sin City? Aww.. Vegas isn’t much more than Chuck E Cheese for adults. (Although the animatronics may be more a tad more *lifelike*…)

  11. From a Buick 8. That is a great book. I read it about a year ago. I was in Vegas in December 2003. Not a great time to go as most of the Lounges are “dark”. But hey, we did get to the Rodeo! They had a mechanical bull set up outside the arena and they were giving away free “Bud” t shirts if you tried it. My wife was determined to try and after much struggling, she managed to get on the thing. The operator just touched the switch to position the bull but that was enough for my wife. She said it was enough and got off right away. She was cheered for at least trying and got her t shirt.

  12. I love overhearing people’s conversations. I do it all the time. People do and say the strangest things.
    As for Sin City, I haven’t been. But I’ve seen some pretty weird things on the streets of New Orleans. On my most recent trip, I was in the French Quarter with some friends and this woman was trying to talk some other women into becoming strippers on Bourbon Street. Yeah, that was a bit awkward…

  14. I hate that book but only because the main character has my name so it screws up my ego surfing. I don’t read Stephen King books but I assume I don’t have to worry about having a Michael Bolton moment.

  15. Reminds me of the Annoying Cell Phone guy ads in front of movies nowadays.
    Some of my favorite lines:
    “Get this, it was a chick!”
    “Mauled by a tiger!”
    “It’s pronounced ka-ra-tay.”
    “It’s okay, I’ve got a MILLION minutes.”

  17. I don’t gamble and drinking is something I do once a year on my husbands birthday so Vegas doesn’t interest me too much, but I want to go for no other reason than to people watch. I think it would be worth the trip.

  19. Steve: He was drinking… and gambling.. and drinking some more!
    Speaking of drinking, I recently visited the Yard House restaurant in glenview, IL. It’s one of the few places I know about here that sells anchor steam. GREAT beer. (I had a full-yard glass full with my sirloin and shrimp. mmm.)

  20. Hello Wil,
    Sorry for being off-topic here, but I sent you a couple emails regarding a possible 2006 booking, and hadn’t heard back, so I wasn’t sure if you got them or not. I also wasn’t sure if I should be talking to you or an agent/manager. If you could have someone contact me, I’d like to discuss what we’ve got. You can email me at archer904 at comcast.net. All my emails from that account are digitally signed. Thanks for your time.

  22. the one who has to ask “what do we tell the girls” will be the first to blab, and they should probably make sure he passes out before the entertainment arrives

  24. hey wil, i’ve had your blog linked from my blog for a long time now because yours is MUCH better. but just wanted to let you and everyone else know that they just gave you props on Al Gore’s new TV channel, “current”! the “VJ” or whatever they’re calling them these days said be sure to check out Wil Wheaton’s blog and Jeff Bridge’s blog. so congrats! i thought it was pretty cool.
    trevor

  25. And I thought Greyhound bus stations were interesting… Airports are ranked right up there with bus stations these days. Every character from A-Z. 🙂
    On the advice of my Mother who quoted me this, “Everyone needs to travel on a Greyhound bus once in his lifetime.” (She didn’t want her daughter to miss out on “real life”) I set off on a cross-country trip. This Princess was in for a rude awakening. From the moment I entered the bus station I was in a state of anxiety that lasted for hundreds of miles. “Who ARE these people?” I kept asking myself. Yes, I thought I was too good to be there. How could I go from having anything I wanted (and going anywhere I wanted) to being “trapped” with people who I couldn’t even imagine exsisted?
    To shorten the story a bit, it was meant to be. I met a woman who talked to me pretty much nonstop from Knoxville Tennessee to Phoenix Arizona. I thanked God when she parted from the bus. Then along came a metallurgist. I swear to God I didn’t even know what a metallurgist was at the time! (Yeah, just think metal.) And then I knew it was fate when I met someone from “MTV” who was doing the exact same thing I was doing on the advice of you guessed it, “Mom”! Talk about fate! We are the best of friends to this day.
    Here’s to overheard airport conversations, journeys, and the people we meet along the way. And to the word “weiner” which I laugh at everytime I hear it.
    P.S. Yes, I am plugging MTV as I often do. 🙂

  26. Why were you here?
    I always look for you now, since I know you are here from time to time.
    I think I will write series of stories of my wacky experiences in Vegas (Been here 8 years now).

  29. OK, even though nobody cares, I’m going to be a total geek and point out that it’s actually “wiener” rather then “weiner” (which, according to the Germanic pronunciation, would be more like “whiner”).
    Still, I think that conversation would have caught my attention too.

  30. Hey, just thought I would drop a line to say you crack me up. I love your blog and have been meaning for some time to sign up to comment on yours. Your previous post to this one also, was great. I am going through the same thing, writer/actor, which one? ahhhh

  31. I just love your narratives, Wil, you’re so observant of everything that surrounds you, I literally felt like I was there. I’m going to make it a point from now on to pay attention to what would normally just be an annoying guy talking on his cell phone, because apparently, I might just overhear some great dinner conversation after I get home!

  32. _From_A_Buick_8 is a great read. Stephen King at his best. Loved it.
    The guy who found out it wasn’t a girl part reminded me of the old Commander Cody song “He’s in Love, He’s in Trouble.”
    Never been to Vegas, but it’s on my list of things to do.

  33. eavesdropping can lead to some interesting quotes. there was a really funny one i heard yesterday but it is probably very inappropriate. although ur entry reminded me of overheardinnewyork.com. man. sometimes those quotes make me wish i lived in NYC and others make me glad i don’t

  36. While I don’t go around intentionally eavesdropping, it’s amazing the things that people say on their cell phones for everybody to hear. I’m sure I’ve said the occassional beauty as well, and I keep wondering one day if I’ll recognize something I’ve said in http://www.ctatattler.com (a Chicago blog about things related to the CTA – Chicago Transit Authority – whether it’s observations, overheard conversations, news, etc). A guilty pleasure of a journal… 🙂

  37. Sorry Wil, but I hate it when people spell wiener wrong. The i goes before the e, it’s a German word and that’s how it would have to be spelled in German to be pronounced how it is, otherwise it would sound like ‘whiner’. In German, if you have two vowels, like ie, you take the sound of the second.
    Otherwise, good story. I like listening in on other people’s demented conversations.

  42. I am sitting here watching STNG and posting at the same time….Watching you on TV and doing what I`m doing now…well,lets say I get the same feeling watching TOS and posting on Shatner`s web site….

  43. Has anyone noticed Wil is #7 on the blogrolling.com Hot 500? He’s above people like Wonkette and Drudge and sites like Fark.
    Freakin’ cool.

  44. Have to admit, haven’t been here for awhile — but it’s a little like seeing my family at Thanksgiving and wondering why I don’t call them more often…
    Why don’t I ever meet any dude’s in chick’s clothing??

  45. My 2 cents worth, listening to cell phone converstaions at an airport is not eavesdropping ! If you are on a cell phone in a public place, that makes the convesration public property. Anything said that makes you look like an idiot should be committed to memory so you can tell everyone about the idiot at the airport.
    Second, I sure am glad that I haven’t ever mistook a guy for a girl……….. Alan

  49. Great slice of life here. On your prior topic: I was away from my fiction writing for years and missed it terribly. Did art, did music, but they used different parts of the brain. As close as they may have brought me to “home” I just wasn’t there. Somehow, though, my writing benefited from the hiatus and its inherent frustrations. Now I’m back where I want to be and there’s simply nothing else like it. I’m glad you got those calls.

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