to raise, perchance to fold . . .

What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form, in moving, how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? man delights not me; no, nor woman neither, though, by your smiling, you seem to say so. &mdash Hamlet, II.ii

Dr. Pauly and I sat beneath a cloud of smoke that had drifted from the craps table, over the velvet rope, and into the “smoke free” poker area. We drank scotch and talked about cool poker nicknames.
“I don’t have one,” I said, “really.” I folded a hand I call “Michael Jackson,” which is any Queen with a little kicker.
“They should call you ‘Hamlet,'” Pauly said. He flashed me The Hammer and raised.
“Why?” I said.
“Because your kings always get killed.”
It was folded around to him, and he folded face up.
“HAMMER!” He shouted. The locals were not amused.
We laughed and laughed, clinked our glasses, and laughed some more. Life was good, we were young, in Vegas, and kicking the shit out of the locals in the 4-8 Hold ‘Em game at the Plaza . . .
I just had my unbeaten streak of PokerStars SNGs snapped . . . when I had kings.
It went like this: Kings in middle position, with two limpers. So I raised it up to 5x the BB, and four players stayed to see the flop. I wasn’t very happy about playing my kings in a multi-way pot, until the flop came Q-6-2 rainbow. I figured one of these guys paired his queen, but figured I would have been re-raised pre-flop if any of them held QQ, so I was pretty sure I was in the lead.
An early position player made a very small bet, it was folded to me, and I popped him back about 3x. It was folded to the BB, who immediately went all-in. I figured that he didn’t have a set, and put him on AQ, or QJ. (It was very unlikely that he had KQ since I already had the other two kings, but even if he did, I was still ahead.) He had me covered, so I called for the rest of my chips . . . and I was moderately happy when he turned up QJ. “Hooray for my great read,” I thought. “Now here comes the Jack.”
Sure enough, he caught a jack on the turn.

Gordinio: shows [Qd Js] (two pair, Queens and Jacks)
Wil Wheaton: shows [Kh Ks] (a pair of Kings)
Wil Wheaton said, “doh”
Gordinio collected 2700 from pot
Wil Wheaton said, “nh”

I had a great run there for a little while, including a few times when I was way behind on the flop, and made runner-runner to suck out when I really should have lost. Meh. That’s poker.
So the bad news is that I had to put a little -22 in my log book . . . but I think the nickname is official now, and Hamlet is just about the coolest nickname I think a guy could ask for (since, you know, Jesus is taken, and all.)

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86 thoughts on “to raise, perchance to fold . . .”

  2. Hey Wil,
    I caught that last hand while I was playing in another SNG. It was a tough break.
    That’s poker for you!!
    Chris

  3. Hamlet is a great nickname for you! Got that whole tehater tihng happening, too.
    Wasn’t there a poker game in Henry VIII? I don’t remember, I’ll have to revisit the bard…

  7. Jeanette311: Holy shit, you’re right! It is! I guess I need to bake WWdN a cake or something. 🙂
    Nutmegger: Sorry to direct this to you, but your comment is the one that broke the camel’s back. I’m getting really tired of people complaining to me about poker posts. I like poker. I like writing. I like putting those things together. If you don’t like it, nobody’s forcing you to read it. I can’t imagine walking into someone else’s party and bitching them out because they didn’t have enough Guinness. Give me a break, okay?

  8. This is a poker post so I figured it would be ok to post this here…
    First I’ll comment though. Luck sucks then you die 😛 Seriously though, that sucks. FH seems to be my cross to bear…I folded 4 of them in one game alone because I’m a chicken shit and people kept raising before the flop…
    On to my…thingie…
    I figured that you would be able to appreciate this being a poker guy…I just started playing not too long ago and registered for Pokerstars a bit ago. Until tonight I had never played a tourney but with your mention of a possible WWdN tourney, I thought I would give it a go…
    My first tourney and I placed 5th 😀 I know it’s no stellar accomplishment or anything, and it was only out of 25 and it was play money but I’m pretty darn pleased with myself.
    And you’re absolutely right about people bitching about what you post about…*checks http* yup, says wilwheaton.net up there…post away!
    *does happy 5 place finish dance* (which oddly enough resembles the happy snoopy dance)

  9. oh yah, and happy birthday, bloggy-journally-book material-place *raises glass filled with my 648.00 fake 5th place finish money*
    here’s to many more! 😀

  11. Wil ‘Hamlet’ Wheaton…
    Yeah, that works. Though, so long as you lose not the name of action, I would beg you to continue to unpack your heart with words, whorish compariosons aside.
    😉

  12. Happy Birthday to the site. Hip! Hip! and all that.
    Poker. Don’t understand it but the game absolutely fascinates me. A total stranger to the game could walk in and take every dime you have and a super ultra cool pro could go home broke. All this could be due to nothing but pure luck of the draw.
    Poker is exciting to me because even though the best have a pretty good hand over everyone else, they don’t ALWAYS win.
    Am I starting to get the jist of it? Am…am I in the club now?

  13. I feel you on that J. I have a very passionate love/hate thing going with the River, as do we all. And Dr. Pauly’s wit hits one out of the park… “Hamlet” is cool and thanks to him really has a spark of meaning to back it up. Keep playing, and keep writing.

  15. Wil,
    Well, what can I say without looking like a total dipshit?
    It was meant to be a joke, sorry it didn’t come across that way. And youre right, when it comes right down to it… it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks.
    Take it easy.
    Oh, and Happy Birthday.

  16. Wil,
    Not sure if I agree with the Hamlet nickame. Hamlet was an angry person that was out for revenge and didn’t care if he hurt people that loved him (Ophelia). Although in the end he dies for the good of Denmark, he was basically a selfish, vindictive person who was set on revenge.
    Hamlet = Wil?
    I don’t really find the correlation, but whatever floats your boat, right?
    BTW- Up to January 2003 in the archives….. wheee
    Rachel

  17. Sorry about the luck, and that really is a great nick name =D
    Happy Birthday to the site!! Thanks for all the effort you put in.
    I love poker but no one here does *sigh*
    Have a great day!!
    That is all.

  19. There’s something rotten in Denmark…
    I think in a roundabout way, Hamlet fits. No, not if you think of the original play of course, but show of hands, who here is remembering a certain TNG episode where Patrick Stewart riffs some Hamlet at Q?
    Come on! One of the finer moments on tv! I think Wil’s cool enough to compare to that. 🙂

  21. HAPPY BIRTHDAY WWdN!!! I know the time says I posted at 12:04 so this would be late…BUT my home is in Cali and time there is an hour behind Colorado and so therefore it is still 11pm and I am not late 🙂 not to mention that WWdn Started in good old Cali anyway. hehe. keep up the great site.
    oh and by the way great nickname, Wil “Hamlet” Wheaton.
    -Cara

  22. Hamlet seems to fit very well.
    And as for folks complaining about poker posts — tell them to forgeddaboudit!
    I don’t understand poker well enough to understand all the lingo and jargon you use, but it’s like being a geek — if you hang around geeks long enough, you’ll pick up the terms and know what’s what.
    So keep on posting your poker stories!

  24. Hamlet was bonkers – stark raving mad pal! Mentally unhinged, one sandwich short of a picnic etc etc.
    You REALLY want that moniker?

  25. You mention -22 in a log book. If you haven’t used PokerTracker yet, I highly recommend it for tracking results. If for no other reason (in my case), it’ll provide the documentation for taxes :).

  27. {{{Wil}}}
    is there some link that could explain poker for the ones of us that are completely lost?? You make sound really interesting & fun.
    Hamlet is good unless someone could come up with a “w” name so then you could go by WWW – I just thought that would be funny.

  28. I enjoy thoroughly your poker-related posts…..EXCEPT when reading them forces me into reliving the same fate only mere seconds afterwards!!!
    So, in order to compensate, you must write about winning a major score in a MTT then emailing me that the post is complete so I can read it quickly and enter my own MTT. OK? OK.

  30. I love having cowboys in my pocket!
    er… that didn’t sound right…
    The odds after the flop were about 4 to 1 in your favor. I hate going all-in with those situations (although that doesn’t stop me from calling in the same situation). Those are good odds, but they will break a winning streak 20% of the time. It’s especially dangerous in longer tournaments. Do it once and you have a 20% chance of being knocked out. Do it twice and you’re up to 36%. Do it regularly, say 10 times in 200 hands, and you have a 89% chance of being knocked out of the tournament with KK (or similar) against a lower pair. Now, change that 2 on the flop to a K and you get 30 to 1 in your favor. Going all-in with that 10 times and you only have a 28% chance of being eliminated. Close to the same odds as one hand with the overpair.
    This all assumes that you always have the smaller stack — which isn’t really a fair assumption. Removing that assumption makes that analysis much more complex — complex enough that I don’t quite know what to do with it — which is what makes this game so darn interesting.

  31. Reddy: The basics of poker can be learned at Wikipedia. The basics of hold-em at over 10,000 sites on the net (just google “basics of hold-em play”). After that there are thousands of sites that can offer suggestions on the “subtleties” of play. After that, dozens of sites (for PC users, PokerRoom for MAC users) where you can practice for free. Let Wil spend his time on better material.
    To raise, or not to raise: that is the question:
    Whether ’tis better in the pot odds to suffer
    The slings and arrows of outrageous re-raises,
    Or to take chips against a sea of chasers,
    And by making it expensive end them?
    …
    And it must follow,
    As the call the raise,
    Thou cannot then be
    Expecting runner runner spade.
    Some people wince when they see a poker post from Wil — I just delight. Can’t wait to see him win a WPT event some day and have some serious free time to cause trouble.
    Charlie L
    Portland, OR
    [email protected]
    P.S. How about a political post next, Wil, just to really get people crazy? Maybe something on Cindy or the big September 24-26 thing in D.C.?

  33. In honor of your new nickname, I present the nickel-poker game Hamlet, invented at Phil Foglio’s house, and now published in the book Dealer’s Choice.
    It’s usually played as 7-card stud, with the following rules:
    Jacks are low.
    Queens are wild.
    Kings are dead.
    It’s one of my favorites. ; )

  36. I lost 5 hands in a row last night, it is some kind of record on pokerstars.com. Check’m
    #1. I have a flush king high. Got beat with the Ace high.
    #2. I had a straight,6 to 10, they had it 7 to j.
    #3. I had a full house Jacks and 6′, they had a full house kings and 6’s(pocket kings). I have pocket Jacks.
    #4. Three Q’s with pocket queens, bet by 3 aces they had pocket rockets.
    #5. Flush with ace high, (10c, Qc) in my hand. Ac, 3c, 5c on the board. He had 2c, and 4c. Sick sick sick.
    totally busted me out for the night.
    HSF.

  37. It is a cool nickname, but do you really want a nickname that was given to remind you that you lose?
    Your kings always get killed?

  39. Hey Wil,
    Frankly, keep up the poker stories…can’t wait to hear all the rest of the WSOP stuff. And just to let you know, I recently signed up for PokerStars.com and started playing with fake money just because you mentioned it on your site. I felt that, being at least fairly in the know about reliability, if you are using PokerStars.com then it can’t be all bad. Someday soon, when the wife lets the purse strings go a little, I will put some money in with the cashier and really start playing…

  40. “Hamlet”…I like it. Especially since, when I read that quote you used as the epigraph for this post, I could hear it being read in Patrick Stewart’s voice. (“Hide and Q,” season 1, wasn’t it?)
    Now, when you’re the victim of a bad beat, you need to make the comment, “Alas! poor Yorick…” 🙂
    And keep up the poker posts. At some point, you’ll have enough material for your own poker book (suggested title: Wil Wheaton Has The Nuts), which will probably sell well. Meanwhile, your posts encourage me to keep working on my own game, even though I don’t play anywhere more meaningful than Xbox Live.

  41. Hamlet? Makes sense. I wish I understood more of the terminology about Poker, as you talk about it. I have started following it more since you have been discussing it, including playing some poker using the PokerStars.net client.
    I decided to start Googling some of the phrases you use and I had a great ‘enlightenment’ moment when I discovered that SNG meant “Sit and Go”. For some odd reason, I thought you had been involved in some special “Startrek Next Generation” games or something …. I’m a geek, so sue me!
    If you know of a good web site for us Poker-newbies to review to following the jargon (hammer, two limpers, Q-6-2 rainbow), please share it in a future posting.
    BTW: I like the “Michael Jackson” … very original and humorous.

  43. Hamlet, huh? Almost sounds pretentious. Not that I’ve ever had a nickname given to me other than “Fuzzy”. What about Wil “The Geek” Wheaton?
    Love the poker blogs, keep writing them.

  44. Hey CyberChas
    Ok I went over to Wikipedia – the problem with that site is I ended up spending 3 hours going from link to link (Note to Wil – your pic there is really great – I love the background & your hair all spike up)
    needless to say – I”m still not sure but I think that the guy just barely beat him but I”m learning – & Hamlet is sounding like a better nickname (how I got to that I”m not sure but it had a really neat pic)

  45. Now, to be fair about all this “site birthday” stuff…. Which site are we talking about? The Burrito? WWDN 1.0? 1.1? WWDN+Soapbox??? I have trouble keeping the dates straight (read, “I don’t really pay attention to them at all, but just enjoy reading the site and occasionally hanging out.”)
    Congrats on the poker run (of sorts), Wil, and good luck on the next–same goes on the long run of being cool with the kids, and the inevitable turning point where they realize Mom and (step)Dad actually have some clue what they’re talking about (OMFG!)
    “Dr.” JSc

  46. “What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form, in moving, how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god!”
    Why do I think of Picard when I read these lines?
    Hehehehe…. Excellent post Hamlet!
    SjN

  48. /tries to decipher the poker speak
    Is there a handy poker>english dictionary somehwere 😛 or can you compile one for the acronym/poker impaired /blush
    As nicks come “Hamlet” isn’t bad 🙂

  50. congrats on the nickname Wil! and happy birthday site! *throws confetti and party hats left over from The Sisterhood’s viewing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show earlier tonight* now the only thing you have to worry about is if someone comes at you with a fencing sword…that shouldn’t be a problem, though…don’t think those are allowed in casinos…
    also, anyone who knows can answer this: do you have to pay to sign up with PokerStars?

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