in which i admit to being a huge zombie geek

I‘m a bit of a zombie geek. In fact, one of the first real stories I wrote was for English class in  middle school, called Land of the Zombies. I wrote a little bit about it in Just A Geek:

"You were always such a wonderful writer, Wil." She said, wagging her finger at me. "We all thought that you’d end up as a screenwriter or novelist."

Something started to slowly turn in the back of my mind.

"Yeah, I always enjoyed it."

"Remember your Land of the Zombies story? All the students loved that."

I smiled and nodded. As a creative writing assignment around Halloween in 1985, all the seventh graders wrote horror stories. Inspired by "Night of the Living Dead," D&D, and a family trip to San Francisco, I wrote a story about a man and his wife, fleeing from the terror of zombies who had escaped an army research base, and were slowly taking over the country. They discover that water can force the zombie-causing chemicals out of the living dead, so they end up on Alcatraz island, which I had decided was the only safe place left in America. I remember the story ended with something like, "Alcatraz was once a federal prison for killers. Now it’s the prison that’s saving our lives. We even sleep in the Birdman’s old cell.

"As the sun set over the Golden Gate Bridge, I looked out onto America: once, the land of the free. Now, the land of the zombies."

It’s not Hemmingway, but it’s pretty good for a 12 year old. It was voted scariest and goriest story by the seventh and  eighth graders, and I proudly photocopied it, and sent it to all my relatives. They were all horrified and told my parents that I should get professional help.

If I can ever find that story, which I think is somewhere in my mother’s Infinite Bag of Childhood Relics, I’ll reprint it. Better yet, I’ll scan it so you can read it in all its Applewriter glory, complete with judicious use of bolding, outlining, and shadowing. Mmmm yeah. It’s good stuff.

As I grew older, so did my fascination with zombies. When I was a teenager, I was a total geek for Dawn of the Dead (not so much, Day of the Dead, though)  and rented it regularly on VHS tape from a video rental store (ask your parents, kids.) While I appreciated the humor of Return of the Living Dead, I watched that one less frequently (and then mostly for the boobies) because it just didn’t please the purist in me. Because, you know, one is capable of being a zombie purist, especially when one is a huge fucking nerd.

For example, Darin and I saw the remake of Dawn of the Dead when it was in theatres, and we enjoyed it, but I was left a little wanting. There were plenty of scares, and the gore factor was nicely balanced by the suspense factor, but I like my zombies to be slow moving menaces, rather than lightening fast maniacs. It’s what separates the Zombies from the Tasmanian Devils. Again, me=zombie purist.

I still haven’t seen 28 Days Later, or Land of the Dead (the former because I hear it’s not exactly zombies, and they are of the Tasmanian Devil variety, anyway, and the latter just because I haven’t had time — hey, even zombie purists have work to do, you know) but Anne and I finally got around to watching Shaun of the Dead last night.

Holy shit. What a fucking brilliant movie! I kept hearing about how great it was, but I was reluctant to believe all the hype. (Purist, remember? Okay! Fine! Not Purist! Snob! There! I admitted it! Are you happy now? I AM A ZOMBIE SNOB AND I DON’T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!!!!11) Not only is it a brilliant zombie movie, it’s a wonderful story about friendship, love, the importance of a good pint, and how there is greatness in just about everyone, even if it takes a zombie invasion to bring it out. I gave it five severed heads and nine out of nine chainsaws, for those of you who like to score this sort of thing.

And though it goes without saying, I’m going to say it anyway: if you have even the tiniest bit of affection for the living dead, you will positively love Twilight Creations’ Zombies!!!

Zombies!!! puts you in the middle of the action as you try to escape
the ever advancing zombie horde. Players must use a combination of wits
and brawn to be the first to the heliport and certain escape. The only
problem is, the zombies are everywhere, they appear to be very hungry
and your opponents would really prefer if you didn’t escape.

The basic set puts you in Small Town USA, and they’ve got several expansions, which add military bases (complete with glow in the dark zombies! for reals!) shopping malls, and even a cabin which is susipciously similar to Evil Dead 2. It’s more fun than eating a skullfull of brains, dontchaknow.

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57 thoughts on “in which i admit to being a huge zombie geek”

  2. Shaun of the Dead is one of the funnest movies out in the last couple of years. The scene where Shaun is walking to the corner store, grievously hungover, and doesn’t notice the zombies coming toward him in the background? I was laughing out loud AND jumping up and down yelling “Oh my god oh my god!” It’s got everything you know you and your friends would do if zombies came around your ‘hood.

  3. One of my favorite moments was in that same scene, BonzoGal.
    When he opens the cooler, and we see the bloody hand prints on the door, and then he slips in the unseen pool of blood. That was awesome.

  5. I have loved every zombie movie that has ever come out. I am not just a zombie fan as well, but of any horror flick. Just like when Robert Englund was talking about making one Nightmare movie.. where they kept yelling to splash more blood on the scene.. and that he married the girl splashing the blood lol, I too think the gorier the better..
    I could just be wierd..
    but you know..
    sometimes.. weird is good 🙂

  7. You know, it’s funny, I was reading your Zombie entry and I’m like, “This man HAS to see SHAUN OF THE DEAD. I’ll be really cool and be the first commenter to suggest it.” Well, there goes my idea. LOL.
    Shaun of the Dead is just one of those brilliantly funny horror films that’s really horrific and funny without being stupid. It it just… well, I have nothing witty to say other than it is just one of my favorite movies right now. Good call.
    28 Days Later is good, I think you’ll like it. I prefer Shaun of the Dead but 28 Days Later is not a bad movie at all, I highly recommend it. In fact, see it tonight! Trust me, I’m a horror/sci-fi freak and I’m a pretty good connoisseur of the genre so I think you’ll enjoy it.
    And I’m with you, Dawn of the Dead has always been a horror staple of mine. Day of the Dead is good but doesn’t quite stick with me like the original.

  8. Hey Wil, gotta say Shawn Of The Dead is definitely a damn good movie. Even better for being a British movie… he he he.
    As for 28 Days Later, seriously, watch it. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. It’s not strictly speaking a zombie flick but comes close enough to satisfy.
    Kinda looking forward to seeing Land Of The Dead but I’ll be honest, I’ve lost a lot of faith in the movie industry in the last few years. Or maybe I’ve just got older, wiser and more discerning…
    Keep watching.
    MJE

  9. Shaun of the Dead made me laugh when I had little to laugh about! I just rewatched it again for like the 100th time. It never gets old. My husband and I are movie and tv ‘quoters’ and that’s one of our favorites to plagerize (sp).
    I agree with love2all Wil, you’ve gotta see 28 Days Later! Now that you’ve seen Shaun, you’ll realize that the writers were spoofing some of the scenes from 28 Days in the movie. It’s not for the faint hearted though!

  10. Still haven’t seen 28 days?
    That’s ok, I haven’t seen Land of the dead yet, but I want to. One of my fave zombie movies is 2004’s
    Dawn of the Dead with Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames,
    and Jake Weber. Just too good. Plus my favorite internet source for anything movie related (tv too.. heck the whole industry practically)
    is the Internet movie database..
    http://www.imdb.com
    check yourself out sometime Wil.

  12. This comment is not zombie related, but all the same, it goes along with your last post, I think. Recently, I watched the featurette (Walking The Tracks: The Summer of Stand By Me) on the Stand By Me DVD. On there, Rob Reiner made a comment on the similarities between you and Gordie LaChance. He was right about both of you being talented writers. Cool.

  13. Wil,
    Welcome to zombie snobbery – the latest crop of zombies, fast ones that can use tools and such, don’t sit well with me either. Good on you for noting the distinction.
    Additionally, Day of the Dead never held a candle to Night or Dawn. I applaud your zombie tastes!

  14. haha, i was thinking about the Gordie Lachance thing also. Stand by Me is still the only movie that can make me bawl like a baby. You are an excellent writer Wil but come back to movies soon! we miss seeing you.

  15. Dude!!
    You should read The Stand by Stephen King.
    I know… Stephen King. But it’s really cool… and sooo zombiesque!
    Also… you were really busy today 😐 Lotsa posts… which reminds me…
    /me goes to her blog

  16. Yes. Shaun of the Dead is a perfect zombie movie, IMO. One of my friends (who is a major zombie geek elephant) thinks it is probably one of the most perfect movies 3vAR!11!
    And while I haven’t played Zombies, I’m looking forward to trying out (Stubbs the Zombie in) Rebel Without a Pulse. That just looks like a killer fun zombie game.

  18. I love (Twilight Creations’) Zombies! We don’t play often because it’s better with more than 2 people. It must be time for another Zombies party. The last time we had six people on the floor building the town and naming all the zombies they killed. It was awesome.

  19. The end of Shaun of the Dead is one of the greatest ending of all time ..playing video games with your zombie best friend. what more could a person want . Well maybe more pints …

  20. I live in Seattle and there was an artile in today’s Seattle PI about a Zombie walk that occurred over the weekend. Two more are planned. They’re being billed as “Part performance art, part traveling costume party, the Zombie Walks are a protest against the zombiefication of our television nation. They’re an opportunity for those with an exhibitionist’s bent to shock and amuse. They’re good, clean holiday fun.” The whole article is here: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/lifestyle/244905_zombies18.html

  21. Wil… sorry for the OT post but did you know you have been honored with an offical Fark “Wheaton” tag? It may have been in existence before but I’ve not noticed it until today. Check out today’s headliners (Tuesday) at http://fark.com
    Gee-whirlikers… that’s right up there with Walken. Congrats!! Oh.. and for the faithful, check out the comments, there is just a priceless pic on there of Wil in a very scary hairy sweater. 🙂

  22. Wil,
    #1 reason I loved this blog…
    the obligatory wiki link to “VHS”. Nice one – make us all feel old… but seriously, you’re making me want to dust off my taped-from-tv copies of “Goonies” and “Willow”, just to prove that my VCR still works….. (2hrs 49 minutes later… video with the warped upper edge, music oscillating back and forth between just-too-fast and just-too-slow speeds, and of course the awkward “i forgot to press un-pause fast enough” return to the movie from commercial breaks… yep, still works! Shlink!)

  24. Wil,
    I really liked Land of the Dead. I can’t wait to see the directors cut. I need to see the movie again, because a couple of the guys from Shaun of the Dead have cameos in Land of the Dead. (They’re supposed to be in a phone booth)
    Shaun of the Dead rocks on toast. I can’t listen to Queens’ “Don’t Stop Me Now” without thinking of them jumping around the zombie in the pub beating on it with pool cues. It’s an absolutely amazing scene.
    It’s funnny how much of a nerd people can be.. I was talking to friends a couple weeks ago and we got into a discussion about whether I would rather face fast stupid zombies, or slow, smart ones. Yeah, I’m a huge effin’ nerd… (and I’d rather face fast stupid zombies than smart ones.)
    For those who play Frag and love zombies, check out this Zombie Frag crossover: http://www.sjgames.com/pyramid/sample.html?id=2478
    Also this is the best zombie site on the web: http://www.homepageofthedead.com
    Enjoy!!
    Al Griego
    (DeepinnaheartaTexas)

  25. May I also recommend The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead by Max Brooks? A must have for all zombie snobs. Oh and if you have money to burn visit the Rubber Gorilla ebay store (http://stores.ebay.co.uk/RUBBER-GORILLA) he’s a bit low on stock at the moment, but his Mr Chadwicka and Mr Harris full head zombie masks are stunning (Mr Harris is the one in the logo). He’s a bit low of stock this close to halloween, but they do rule 🙂
    Zombies!!! the game is excellent, we’ve had many good nights playing, get some sticky back rubber sheeting for the tiles though, saves alot of messing about.

  26. Honestly, though, 28 Days Later is phenomenal… If you’re not looking forward to a bastardized American fairy tale ending that seems to crop up in so many movies. Danny Boyle is an amazing director, and I am a big fan of British entertainment ideals… (not always happy endings and not always plastic people.)
    If, however, you want to go for a more Alien-Invasion-causing-mass-zombiism, 1st watch Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956) followed directly by Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978). The tie between the two is unforgettable. These bring back so many memories of growing up with a SciFi/Action/B Movie loving father (His favourite movie list starts this way: 1. Blade Runner (1982), 2. Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)… He is awesome, I thank him for so many cultural influences that have got me to where I am today.)

  28. I am a huge ZOmbie geek myself. “Resident Evil” (the game) scared me so much I had a hard time walking the dog after playing.
    The reason, I think, Zombie movies are so scary is because, of all the silly horror-monster movies, ZOMBIES seem the most plausible (if that makes sense).
    Look at it this way: You know scientists are working on a way to “reanimate” dead organs (medically). What would happen if they manage to reanimate them to the point someone says “Let’s try reanimating a brain!”
    I”m not saying the dead will walk the Earth and eat our flesh or anything (yet) but it’s HIGHLY likey someone, somewhere will be eventually reanimate a dead person! You follow me?

  29. Blockquotes: Guess which one is serialized in Salon

    Chapter 6 of Cory Doctorow’s Themepunks: The innuendo that she was romantically involved with one or more of the guys had circulated on her blog’s message boards and around the slashdots ever since she’d started writing about them. No woman…

  32. I have to agree with Peacecorn. If you like zombies, go to your local Comic Book Store and pick up The Walking Dead. Buy the collections first, because, wow. There’s a lot of story there.
    Trust me.

  34. And how about THIS for bizarre:
    Blockbuster Video is NOT getting “Land of the Dead” because of some disagreement with Universal, or something.
    You can’t RENT Land of the Dead there!!! I mean, WTF!?!

  35. What do you expect, Buntz, Blockbuster doesn’t rent movies they find to be morally objectionable, and what’s even worse, the movies they DO rent are cable edits instead of theatrical releases. Blockbuster’s been on my ‘avoid’ list for years because of the cable edit policy.

  36. If you liked SHAUN OF THE DEAD, you have to try and check out SPACED, a show that was also co-written and starred Simon Pegg (Shaun). It features a lot of the people from the movie, including Nick Frost (Ed), and is TV heaven for geeks like us– chock full of horror movie and comic book references, but also really sweet and funny, just lovely. It’s not available in Region 1, but if you have a multi-region DVD player or do some highly illegal bittorrent downloading, find a way to check it out. It’s freaking awesome. Seriously.

  40. You want real horror? Rent 28 Days Later – minus the Later. Sandra Bullock attempting to act all serious-like. SCARY.

  43. If you havn’t checked Urban Dead out already, you can choose to be the awesomely Zombie minion or run around as a rag tag survivor in a psudo-text based MMORPG. It seriously addicting!!! Aww, who am I kidding, You’re probally playing it in between Poker and checking out other awesome bloggers!

  44. Hey Wil! Have you ever read the Stephen King short about the Chinese sattelite that gets infected by some space worms that turned everyone into Zombies? They crashed into earth, spreading their zombi-ness, eventually infecting the graveyards of a little island in Maine. Has a great scene with all of the townspeople shooting their now undead relatives in the noggin’ as they rise from the dead at their local cemetary. Absolutely great stuff! I would love to turn that into a short film. I hear Mr. King let’s you use his short stories for $1. Is this true?

  49. Wil, I created a TypePad account just so I can tell you this. Your excerpt from Just a Geek was so incredible that I rushed over to Amazon and bought both it and Dancing Barefoot even though it has been on my list of things to do since I stumbled upon your web page ages ago. You are incredibly talented, and I thank you for sharing it with the rest of us.

  50. Wow, I followed your link to Wikipedia for Zombies and was amazed to find this: “The character of Reginald Shoe in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books, becomes a zombie by refusing to stay dead after being shot and killed. He later forms a support group for other undead, claiming they are merely “differently alive”.
    LOL If y’all haven’t read any Terry Pratchett, you should. He’s a great story teller; funny & imaginative. One of my favorite authors.
    Shamless plug over…thank you. :o)

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