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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Yeah-heah-heah-ha-ha-hah-heaaah!

Posted on 26 November, 2005 By Wil

I played poker last night at Commerce with a one-armed Chinese man, a drug dealer, and Shane Nickerson.

His fingernails were stained black, the same color as his black Los
Angeles Dodgers cap. His huge adam’s apple pushed out against two or
three days worth of stubble. His blue eyes were bloodshot and pinned,
and when he walked up to the table, he bounced his head around, pealed
a one hundred dollar bill off a thick gangster roll from his pocket,
and said, "Yeah-heah-heah-ha-ha-hah-heaaah!" He was one of the worst
players I’ve ever seen, and that wad of bills came out of his pocket
for several rebuys while I was there.

While it’s very convenient to play online, one of the major benefits of
playing live poker is seeing characters like Suckout Guy and One Armed
Man. Shane and I also saw a guy in a floor-length oilskin duster who
had a Texas Rangers star to accompany the feather on his fedora, as
well as a gaggle of outrageously hot girls in too-tight cowboy shirts.
The guy in the 8 seat at our table says he took the SAT with me at
Granada Hills High about sixteen years ago, and at one point stacked up
over $500 in front of him by making boat-over-boat.

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Comments (6)

  1. love2all says:
    26 November, 2005 at 2:54 pm

    Weren’t you scared (*snickers..*)? But, yeah, what was HIS SAT score. Compared to yours? And hey, why aren’t you buggin’ Annie to make good, huh?

  2. Denise says:
    26 November, 2005 at 3:11 pm

    Haha. You realize that sounds like the beginnings of a bad joke?
    Seriously though. Did you remember Mr. SAT though from High School? I have issues remembering people from High School and it’s only been almost 7 years. Pfft. Important years, my ass.
    I’m such a novice poker player. I need to learn the zen of poker playing. I need mad skillz.
    Booyah. (I got to stop saying that. x.x) It’s The Offspring CD I am listening to which is putting me in a silly mood.

  3. Laurie says:
    26 November, 2005 at 3:15 pm

    What’s really funny is sitting at home a Saturday afternoon, channel surfing and coming across Wil on the Lifetime Movie Network.
    I’m horrible at Poker and the even worse at the Poker face, I can only play online.

  4. MamaSlyth says:
    26 November, 2005 at 5:47 pm

    says he took the SAT with me at Granada Hills High
    I’m guessing since he phrased it that way that he just happened to take it the same location you did and didn’t attend the same school.
    I wonder if he geeked out with having you there and if it affected his scores any.

  5. Gregg says:
    27 November, 2005 at 12:07 pm

    Oh man… I think I know that “Yeahh-heah-heah” guy… sounds like one of my regular customers at Starbucks đŸ˜›

  6. Aviatrixt says:
    27 November, 2005 at 2:04 pm

    Wil, your blog never fails to entertain. Your writing has raised the bar in recent weeks; keep it up! How’s “DYWKWT?” coming? I’m ready to put it on my wishlist.

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