A late afternoon mug of Yerba Mate tea, and the sugar from a glass (okay, two glasses) of chianti with dinner resulted in my favorite middle of the night activity: the 2:30 AM wide-awake-racing-brain.
I sat up in bed, reached over to my nightstand, and picked up my glass of water. In the soft glow of my alarm clock, I saw my kitty, Biko, stir in the laundry basket of clothes I’ve been meaning to put away for three days.
I gulped down about half the glass, and when I lay back down into bed, Biko jumped up, walked across the comforter, and snuggled into my chest, purring so loudly it was like a little massage on my mighty pectoral muscles.
I rubbed his little face for a few minutes, and tried to convince my brain to stop singing Sade and reciting Lewis Black jokes so I could fall back asleep. In that weird fuge state that often comes in the middle of the night, I’m not sure when I drifted back to sleep, but I woke again at 4:25 AM, my brain blasting "Slave Song," joined now by my stomach which really wanted to get rid of the sweet Italian sausage I had with dinner.
I sat back up, drained the remaining half of my water, and lay down onto my back. I let my brain sing at me while I tried to convince my stomach that it should do a lot of digesting, instead of throwing up.
"Throwing up is exactly what they’d expect," I reasoned, "if you throw up, they win."
I have no idea who "they" were, but it was the middle of the night, so it made perfect sense to me.
While my stomach formulated a response, which was something like, "Blarrghhh . . . . squarrrrrllooogeee . . . fweeeennnn . . ." Biko jumped back up onto the bed, and walked back over to me. He was still purring, but this time he snuggled down into the comforter next to my shoulder, and pressed his little face against my cheek, just like his brother Sketch used to do.
I turned my attention away from my bitchy stomach, tuned out my singing brain, and focused on Biko’s little purrbox. I drifted quickly back to sleep, and woke up to Riley sniffing at my face, while Ferris sat at the foot of my bed, head cocked to one side while she waited for me to get out of bed.
My brain was silent, and though I had a little bit of a red wine headache, my stomach just felt hungry. I reached out and scratched Riley’s little monster face. Ferris thumped her tail against my dresser as I got out of bed and pulled on my robe. Biko was back in the laundry basket, happily sleeping on his back, as I walked out to the kitchen.
"Is there coffee?" I asked Anne. "I’m dead ’til I gets me coffee."
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I have racing middle of the night brain. This is where a netflix selection comes in. I throw in a DVD for a non mainstream movie and I can calm my head.
Funny this topic should come up… The night before last night’s selection was “Jane White is Sick and Twisted”. I fell asleep after the movie and the cast interviews. Last night’s selection was “In the Realm of the Senses” which is basically japanese porn with subtitles. I still can’t figure out if netflix is sending that thing out legally. I saw man bits. Jane White wasn’t nearly as…juicy.
I can’t say netflix will cure a sour stomach. I don’t know if it has any effect on cats either.
We just got a new kitten and he does the same thing at night! Even though I’m supposed to be the secondary owner, he’s always trying to sleep on my chest.
We had to switch from water glasses to capped containers for our water glasses, cause the kitten kept knocking them over on top of us while we’re trying to sleep.
You’re writing has been so good to read this week! Yeah for helping me stay awake at work Wil!
Wil,
Thanks for sharing. Even though I’ve shared the frustration that you must feel when that rat wheel gets to spinnin’ in the middle of the night, your story nevertheless seems to express an underlying contentedness which is comforting.
I’m normally a cheapskate when it comes to paying for content on the ‘net, but I’d happily pay to read your blog just as sure as I’ll go out and buy your next book.
Just don’t go getting any ideas…
Wasn’t there just a post titled “Fitter, Happier, More Productive”? Are you sure you were hearing Sade in your head, and not, say, Thom?
OK, Wil, I have digestive problems all the time, and once in a while I complain about it in my blog, but never so eloquently as you just did.
Next time you get the shits, be sure to let us know :).
Maybe it’s just me, but, I find when my brain is racing in the middle of the night, and I can’t sleep, working out the powers of 2 in order pretty quickly sends me off.
Although I’ve done it so often, now, I have to start at around 65536 or it doesn’t work…
(OK, now I read this back, it sounds pretty weird. But hey, it works for me.)
Joey and Pixie LOVE to sleep in the laundry basket. I just folded a load of light colored clothes that have been slept in for about a week. Well…since Saturday, however long that is.
Lots of water when you eat something you shouldn’t. Learned that from an authentic mom…mine.
Animals are great. It’s just nice when they want to be with you even if they do expect you to feed them afterwords.
How cool was this?
I picture you now living in some sort of Ace Ventura menagerie-esque existence.
You experienced the phenomenon known as Cat Magic. With my three kitties, my hubby and I experience it frequently. They can make me feel better just by being close by…pretty powerful stuff! If only we could bottle it for those who are allergic to cats!
They. As in the “Central Directorate of They“. I’ve done a little research on Them (as much as I could without getting caught and “disappeared”) and compiled it at
http://www.missouri.edu/~ccbanzai/cdt.html
But beware!
Recent studies have shown that a purring cat near one’s head is the single best cure for the 2:30 AM wide-awake-racing-brain.
Ongoing studies continue in my own home, where just last night I had barely thought to myself, “Crap, I’m tired and I just can’t seem to turn my brain off” when Khitomer magically appears at my head with her 450-hp Purr Motor of Steel. I was asleep within 30 seconds.
Just an aside, here: My favorite professor, who also happens to be an old girlfriend’s father, named his dog Biko. But it turns out that he did it because he actually MET Stephen Bantu Biko.
Will, been a longtime fan.
Studies of cat purrs helping you fall asleep ring ture…unless your cat is very old and feels the need to bellow at the top of her lungs because SHE wants you to pay attention to her at 3 am whenyou have to be up at 530 am…and you went to bed at 1230 am. Because you know, it’s all about her.
I just saw that on Jesus’ Favorite – she’s after you again by impersonating you Wil! Go get her Dude!
That radio in your head has been named Radio K-FUCK by my wife’s co-worker, and it stuck.
Music isn’t bad (I always wake up hearing some random song), but the talk show mornings are the worst.
My cat usually has the opposite effect on my. I wake up to her standing on my hip kneading the hell out of the blanket, and by sheer luck, also my leg 😛
My husband and I adore Lewis Black and are going to see him on March 23rd. I’m very excited 😀