if i could only make time stand still for a moment

Unless I crash into something that makes me think, "OMG I HAVE TO BLOG THIS RIGHT NOW KTHXBYELOLORZ," I find that it’s much easier for me to write in the very early morning, or very late at night. Sitting down here in the middle of the day is a little weird, and I don’t quite know where I’m going to go. (I guess this thought process is not exactly the sort of thing one writes down when attempting to engage an audience, huh?)

Ah! I know where I’ll start!

To continue this week’s, uh, theme: why am I pushing myself to write for at least ten minutes a day?

Because I’ve done so much writing lately that isn’t really story-telling, those muscles have atrophied quite a bit. Because somedays there just isn’t anything obviously worth writing about, and on those days I have to dig a little deeper for something that’s at least moderately interesting to me. Because it’s easier for me to write when I fell happy than when I feel sad, and blogging every single day has the bonus side effect of making me seek out and focus on happier things. I find that I appreciate things much more, and that I’m more observant of the things around me, because I’m always on the look out for something cool to write about.

A friend of mine who is a hell of a writer once told me that being a writer can make otherwise emotional and sensitive people become detached and distant, because we’re so busy observing things, we forget to experience them. After this week, I totally grok that. On the one hand, it’s important to always have my senses as open as possible, but at the same time, I can’t lose the forest for the trees.

Okay, navel-gazing over.

Last night, my friend Kevin came over to have dinner with us. Kevin and I have been really good friends for over a decade, but as we’ve grown older and our various commitments have grown larger, we have had less and less time to hang out. In fact, before last night, I hadn’t seen Kevin in over three years, which meant I hadn’t met his girlfriend (we love her, by the way), who he decided to bring with him at just about the last minute, turning our "let’s get together with Kevin" dinner into a "oh my god we’re having a new person into the house quick get the vaccuum and I’ll clean the bathroom" experience.

It was totally worth it. Not only did we get a nice clean house in forty-five minutes, we had a really great time, and it was quite amusing to watch my two teenaged boys deal with the presense of a very pretty 20-something girl in their house.

After dinner, I played in the WWdN Thursday night game at PokerStars (where I busted out early because I made the mistake of getting my money in as a dominating favorite) while Anne and the kids watched CSI. The kids went to sleep around ten, and Anne stayed to watch Without A Trace, so I grabbed The Dark Tower, which I’ve been close to finishing for several days now, and settled into the couch to finish it.

You know, one of my strongest criticisms of Stephen King is that he just can’t end a story, and the closer I got to the final page of this one, the more knotted my stomach became. I’ve invested at least fifteen years in this series, and I was really worried that I was going to feel the way I felt when I finished It. I won’t get into specifics, because publishing spoilers totally fucking sucks, but I can honestly say that I was not disappointed with the way The Dark Tower finally ended, and I appreciated Stephen King’s honesty about it in the afterword very much. It’s far from perfect, especially what would be the last two reels if it was a movie, but it was still a satisfying finish for me, and I felt like all the characters I’d grown to care so much about were given the appropriate resolutions.

How’s that for muddled?

Speakng of caring about characters, Nolan has been absolutely glued to this book called Catalyst by Laurie Halse Anderson. As a writer, parent, and book-lover, I can tell you that there are few things as wonderful as seeing him turn off the TV and walk away from Xbox so he can read this book. Last night, he came up to me with a pale face, and red eyes and said, in a quivering voice, "My book just got really sad. A boy I cared a lot about died."

He could have been telling me about the loss of a friend. I felt like I should hug him.

"I totally understand," I said, and pointed to my copy of The Dark Tower, "One of my favorite characters in this book died about two hundred pages ago, and I felt like I’d lost a friend."

"It’s weird how a book can make you feel that way," he said.

"I think it’s really wonderful that you are sensitive and intelligent enough to let a writer affect you like that, Nolan," I said, "that makes me feel really good as a writer and as a parent."

"You should totally read this book, Wil," he said, "and Speak, too. You’d really like them."

"Okay," I said, "your recommendation means a lot to me. I’ll put them into my pile."

He ran into his room, and came out with Speak. He handed it to me, and I saw what a beautiful forest I was in. I marveled at every single tree.

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38 thoughts on “if i could only make time stand still for a moment”

  1. I wasn’t crazy about the ending of The Dark Tower. My biggest theory is that he wrote the very end scene when he wrote The Gunslinger. Which would be pretty cool but at the same time I wanted more of an ending. I remember that sitting on the edge feeling and then “ARGH”. It was frustrating but in a good way, I think.

  2. YEAH!!!! First comment again!
    Anyway, it is weird how books can become so realistic. Characters and all. Granted, it doesn’t help that I am an impressionable person, but still. I remember times in the past my friends and I have mourned over deaths of characters. I am also sad when I finish a good book. I feel like I lose a companion.
    I haven’t started Speak yet, but I plan to. Everybody’s been telling me how good it is.

  4. I saw the Lifetime movie called “Speak”, based on the book. It was amazing… very well done. I can imagine what the book will be like.
    When I read this last Harry Potter, and a favorite character of mine died, I felt the same way you guys did. I think I acutally gasped.

  5. Glad you were satisfied with the ending, the part that dissapointed me the most was the deal with Jake… to quote another character from the book, it made me scream: “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

  6. After the huge break SK took in the Dark Tower series I just couldn’t get back in to it. I just finished a great book, DB, and I’m about to start JAG. If you’re enjoying King’s work be sure to read CELL when you get the chance. It’s a great story. I’ll add “Speak” to my list of books to read soon.

  7. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Wil you are a fabulous parent. I wish my Mom had known enough to be that supportive of my love of reading and writing. She never discouraged me but she also never encouraged me.
    I hope you and Nolan never lose the ability to get that tied up in a book. It’s a wonderful, wonderful feeling.

  8. For some reason, the ending to the Dark Tower series just seemed to fit for me. Out of all the potential endings, out of all the possibilities, that ending was the only one that would have truly fit the story. Which is all you can ask of an ending really.

  9. *does happy dance*
    I have a total of $50 in gift cards for Borders. I just checked the store inventory for the store closest to me and they have BOTH of your books in stock, Wil. So I pre-ordered the latest from Laurell K. Hamilton (my other obsession). When it comes in on 2/28 I will be picking up both of your books too. I should have just enough to cover the three books & tax.
    I’m so excited. 😀
    *does another happy dance*

  10. I love it when you can re-read books and still be affected like that. I just read a book, Snow Falling on Ceders, in which the author convinced me that it was okay for the main character to put this innocent man in jail, because he loved the mans wife. Logically that makes no sense at all, but it was that powerful of a book to convince me of somthing that immoral.
    I also find that I can throw in this book on CD I have… I can never remember the title.. Just a Dork…. I’m a Geek…. Oh man, I’m a slacker ( -_X ). But I always get right into the story, no matter which CD it is. I guess that author just has a tallent of connecting with his audience.
    Other great re-read is The Giver. A classic, but never the less, still gets a reaction from me everytime I turn the worn pages.
    And you can tell Nolan that a 17 year old girl from New Hampshire agrees with him that Speak is a great great book. 🙂 and if he hasn’t read The Giver, please pick him up a copy. I think it’s one of those books everyone should read once.

  11. Hey Wil, long time RSS lurker, first time commenter. One of my goals this year is to figure out a good way to spend more time reading comments along with all the blogs I read on Google Reader.
    So glad you finished the Dark Tower. I really enjoyed the ending myself. It’s been long enough that I think I’m about ready to go start reading the series all over again. My memory is such that I can reread things every 5 years or so and I’ve forgotten most of the details!
    I have to mention that you came up twice in conversations at work today. The first was when we were talking about spacing out on something, and I just watched the Next Gen episode last night with Ashley Judd in it, so had to mention “The Game”. The guy I was talking with is more of a Star Trek geek than I am, so he knew what I was talking about. Now that I think about it, I think we talked about Ashley Judd and didn’t actually mention you. Sorry. The second time was when my boss was calling something “awesome”. I told him the correct term was “hawesome”. Heard him using it in the hallway after that. I think you’ve started something.
    Actually, you came up last night too. In looking at your credits on IMDB, umm, after looking up Ashley Judd (sorry!), I noticed that you did the voice for AquaLad. Don’t remember if you’ve mentioned that before, but my 6 yr old Teen Titans loving daughter was there so I showed you to her (Next Gen was on still) and told her that you did AquaLad. Sorry Wil, but she wasn’t that impressed. She did say something about how pretty the girl was that you were with. (haha, j/k).
    Think I can hear Led Zeppelin playing “Ramble On”, so will shut up now.
    Thanks for all the great family posts …

  12. Wil,
    You are a good writer,to me. You seem to manage your time well. After all of this time, you are still married with a happy home. Keep it up.
    FG

  16. That must have been such a great feeling. I’m glad you recognised that and enjoyed it. One time when I was about 11, my mother came into my room and was horrified to find me red-eyed and sobbing. She rushed over to find out what was wrong and I started talking about something absolutely tragic that was happening in the book in front on me. It actually took her a minute to realise I wasn’t talking about someone in real life and when she did she suddenly got very stern and said, “This is just crazy. You can’t let yourself get so distraught over a person who doesn’t even exist!”
    Book people get it, Wil. I’m glad for Nolan’s sake that you get it. Books are a doorway to some other place that’s half inside us and half in a realm we can’t visit any other way. They make life better.

  18. You just brought back so many memories of my own youth with your story about Nolan’s experience with the book he’s reading.
    Beeing a geeky, outcasted kid rotting away in what I can only describe as my own form of the “Borg Hive,” AKA Catholic School, books were my only refuge, and I remember how it felt to be able to go to all of these strange and wonderful places in my imagination. I remember how it felt once I had finished a book and yearned for more, as well. And of course, I was disappointed on more than one occasion with the ending of quite a few books that I had read. But I wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything.
    I also remember what it felt like the first time a favorite character in a book I was reading died. As you so accurately described it, I had also felt like I had lost a friend.
    I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, you and Anne are doing a superb job raising your boys. Be proud of that. And keep the family stories coming, I love them.

  20. Wil,
    that last part of your blog is one of the reasons why I always keep coming back to your blog. What a nice metaphor at the end!

  21. I so enjoyed reading this post. God bless you and Anne for instilling the love of reading in your children. It’s so important. I remember reading a book when I was a teenager and throwing it across the room when a character died. It took me a couple of days to recover and finish the book. I felt like I’d lost a friend. I also remember my daughter sitting in the living room reading, crying over the loss of a character on the Titanic.
    I have to agree that The Giver is a wonderful story. If Nolan hasn’t read it, I’m sure he’ll enjoy it. I work in schools, interpreting for deaf students, and read The Giver along with my sixth grade student a few years ago. The student I’m working with this year will be reading Speak later this year in English and I look forward to reading that one as well.
    Wil, I must say I enjoy your warm, funny and insightful blog. You have a great family. Cherish them!

  22. Although the movie of Speak was very good, the book is sooooo much better. You’re going to love it. It’s incredibly moving and a frighteningly realistic portrayal of what many high schoolers go through today. Don’t forget to let us know your thoughts when you’re finished with it.
    Also, how do you like those No Sweat shoes? I’d like to know someone else’s opinion on their quality and comfort before I place my order.

  24. Big ups to you for sticking to the whole “write for ten minutes a day” challenge and for reading so much! After graduating college with what had felt like a seemingly useless English degree – I ran away from reading and writing for quite sometime. Your dedication to both reading and writing whilst simultaneously being husband and parent (and instilling the joy of reading in your kids) means that not only can I, as an unmarried woman, *somehow* find ten minutes in my day to write; it’s reminded me of how essential my degree is to my being. =) Thank you for that.

  25. Thanks, Wil.
    I love all your entries about being a parent. I can’t imagine what it would be like, because my kids are still so young now.
    You said exactly the right thing to Nolan because I remember when that happened to me as a teenager and my dad started to comfort me — red eyes, nearly crying — but laughed at me when he found out I felt that way over just a book. (JUST A BOOK?)
    You inspire me to know that maybe I will be able to say the right things to my kids. Thanks.

  27. Reading… reading… hrmm… OH RIGHT! That’s what I did before I started playing poker. Thanks Wil. If it wasn’t for your “Let’s raise money for the hurricane victims” tourney, I’d have never signed up. My poor books… sitting… gathering dust… unread. Even your books look desperately at their brethren, quietly crying out “when will we be read?”

  28. I totally understand you not wanting to post spoilers Wil, but I’d love to hear your opinion on the book. I liked The Dark Tower on a whole, but certain plot choices left me mistified(RF as an example) I thought SoS was a wasted book (with the exception of the Tet corporation and the meeting with the guy on the Lake)
    I only read the books recently so I didn’t have the 15 year thing you had, but I was incredibly moved by TDT and therefore the book worked on a whole for me.
    I also didn’t mind IT’s ending. 😛

  29. School librarian chiming in here- Speak is tremendous, though provoking and stunning. Check it out! If Nolan liked Speak, he might also want to try a book called “The Body of Christopher Creed”. It has the same sort of vibe as Speak, but I liked it even better.
    As for The Dark Tower….I’m still getting over the ending of that one. As you said, I have years invested in that series and there were moments in the last book that made me wish I hadn’t done so. Oh well…I guess you can’t always demand the happy ending, in life or literature!
    Sherrie

  32. I think I read the first two of The Dark Tower series and never could get into them, even though I’m a SK fan from way back. (I fought my parents for permission to read The Shining when I was 12, insisting I was mature enough to handle it, then couldn’t tell them how freaked out and terrified I was. But it didn’t stop me from reading almost everything else he wrote!)
    I’m so glad – but not surprised – to hear that you encourage your kids’ reading. My parents were always great about that, and it’s made my life so much richer for having such broad exposure to all kinds of literature.
    When I was in high school, I read Orson Scott Card’s Enders trilogy, which I would definitely recommend to any teenager. I’d also recommend All Quiet on the Western Front – learning about WWI from the perspective of a German soldier was pretty earth-shaking. Where the Red Fern Grows broke my heart in the best way imaginable – if Nolan hasn’t read that yet, he should. *Everyone* should.

  34. Stephen King’s books are simply amazing! I’m reading “needful things” at the moment and it involves Ace Merrill’s character from the body so I’m pretty excited now I’ll find out more about him when he is older. I read the body last week for the first time and in “STAND BY ME”, Ace always said he would get yous “big time” and River replied “Maybe you will and maybe you won’t” and I always wondered if he did and I read that he broke your characters fingers. Ouch! I understand that wouldn’t have been a nice ending in the film “STAND BY ME”.
    I read this book called “War Horse”, which was the first book to make me cry when I was around ten and it’s amazing how you become so close to the characters through writing, it’s what I love about reading:).

  35. Wil,
    Like you, I have invested many years – 24, in fact, since I read “The Gunslinger” when it was first published in 1982. I started to get disappointed as the series went along, knowing that King was going to tie the majority of his work into one “Uber-Series”, linking more than half of his books together.
    Also, I thought the ending was very “Altman-esque”.
    All-in-all, I still love that series, but I was let down by the ending and the course the series took toward the end.
    I still recommend them to other people though, so I guess I wasn’t that disappointed.

  36. Let Nolan know I took his advice too. I had to pass by a bookstore on my way home from the dentist office (still hurting) and went in to buy “Speak.” It’s sitting on a book shelf waiting for me to finish The Eyes of The Dragon.

  37. Maybe I Should Have Lied

    I can hear you out there “Lied about what?” Well hold on and I’ll tell you. As you may know I had an appointment with the dentist this morning. The plan was to have a tooth extracted. I use the word “was” because that is not what happened. In the pre-proc

  38. Glad to see that people are continuing to discover Laurie Halse Anderson. As a high school librarian, I see copies of both Catalyst and Speak get checked out quite a bit. I finally read these two books over Christmas break…they’re amazing.
    Meanwhile, my hubby’s a huge Dark Tower fan, and has been continually bugging me to read the series. It’s #1 on my summer projects list.

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