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Kungfumaster
This week’s Games of our Lives makes me giggle. The subject is one of my childhood favorites, Kung-Fu Master. Here’s a little bit:

. . . Thomas found a note from "X": "Your love Silvia is in custody now.
If you want to save your dear Silvia’s life, come to the Devil’s Temple
at once. 5 Sons of the Devil will entertain you."

Well isn’t that nice? Mr. X doesn’t want to kill Thomas, he just
wants the Kung-Fu Master to enjoy his temple’s top-quality
entertainment. Maybe when Thomas finds Silvia, they can join X at the
late-night comedy buffet, which we hear gets a little blue.

Gameplay: The Devil’s Temple is a lovely five-story building,
decorated in the style of a ’50s Chinese restaurant. Each level is
filled with those Unknown Guys from the prologue, who attack Thomas
using the ancient "raised-arm hug of death" technique.

At the end of each level, a different Kung-Fu Bad Guy must be
defeated before you can move on, and all your favorites are here:
Beating You With A Stick Guy, Boomerang Guy, Wizard Guy, Freakishly Big
Guy, and, of course, Mr. X himself.

Kids today might like it because: Okay, we all know that she’s
just a cartoon, but holy shit, is Silvia hot. She’s got this totally
sexy china-doll thing going on, and that silk dress is just—what?

Now check this little bit that had to be cut for space, which my editor and I both thought was funny. From Gameplay:

Level one is pretty easy, but starting at level two, Jumping Midget Guy will join Knife Throwing guy and the Unknown Guys, and they’ll have help from the various Jars of Death: snake-releasing jar, fire-breathing dragon jar, and deadly exploding confetti ball, uh, jar.

Hyuck. Hyuck. Hyuck.

Remember this game when it was on NES? I remember playing it like crazy, marvelling at how much it was like the arcade version. In fact, the only real difference between Nintendo’s Kung-Fu and Irem’s Kung-Fu Master is the graphics. The game played almost exactly the same at home as it did in the arcade, and if you played it on PlayChoice10, it was identical.

Do you associate certain games with certain arcades or places?

  • Donkey Kong will forever be associated with Verdugo Bowling Alley in La Crescenta, because that’s where I first saw it. In fact, I thought it was some weird bowling game because the barrells on level one look like bowling balls, if you’re nine years old and in a bowling alley.
  • Centipede will always be Shakeys Pizza in Tujunga, where this young couple in their 20s let me play their last man at the cocktail version because their pizza was ready, and Ms. Pac-Man will always be associated with this head shop in Sunland, where I got to the pretzel level on the first try.
  • Super Pac-Man, Defender, Gyruss, and Mouse Trap take me back to Sunland Discount Variety and Hober’s Pharmacy (they’ve become interchangable in my memory) and Donkey Kong Country on SNES will always remind me of when I lived in
    Nice, France, during production of Mr. Stitch, and my brother and I
    beat it when my family came out to vist me for Christmas.
  • Crystal Castles is Alladin’s Castle at the mall in Eugene, Oregon, during the filming of Stand By Me, and Burger Time and Tutankham will always remind me of the smell of chlorine and concrete, from the basement-level pool at the Eugene Hilton.

Funny, just writing about those places I can almost conjure up sense-memories, like smells and other ephemeral things that I can’t quite put into words but I can feel, but I can’t quite make them out, like the boobie channel on cable in 1984 that was scrambled but would occasionally resove into view for two or three glorious seconds, which would be the subject of much discussion the next day at school.

There are also all these games that just remind me of the happiness of my childhood, too: Journey, Riddle of the Sphinx, and Dodge-Em on Atari 2600, and the robot gyroscope game, Excitebike, and Super Mario Brothers (the turtle trick!) on NES are just a few. Writing about those, I can feel the orange shag carpet at the house in Sunland, the blue berber carpet in La Crescenta, and I can see the little television in my friend’s bedroom where we played RC Pro-Am until we had "NES Thumb."

The kids and I bought this game controller thing in the mall a few weeks ago that has a ton of NES games built into it. It has Kung Fu, Ice Climber, Duck Hunt and Hogan’s Alley, Contra, and a bunch of other NES classics. It is the most fun to play these games that I played from 8th-10th grade at every opportunity, with my kids (I just had this flash: after ten years, I think they’re finally okay with me calling them my "kids" instead of my "step-kids" – that’s awesome) who are just as excited to play these games with me as I was to play them with my friends when I was their age.

You know what I need to find and play again? Castlevania.

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1 February, 2006 Wil

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so my friend is in this contest . . . → ← plbermann pwns p’reilly

34 thoughts on “insert coin”

  1. napoleondynamitefan says:
    1 February, 2006 at 6:26 pm

    WOOt! First comment!
    Growing up, I myself was never big on video and arcade games. However, I absolutely loved Pac Man. I was addicted to it. Somehow, I can’t really think of a place that I associated with that game. Darn.
    That is so cool that Nolan and Ryan are cool with letting you call them “your kids”. It’s sweet.

  2. KCFlatlander says:
    1 February, 2006 at 6:36 pm

    I know the feeling, Wil. (Novel coming)
    We had the bowling alley at first: Atari Football! My hand would hurt for days on that damn track ball, but I was awesome at X’s and O’s. Then Space Invaders and Asteroids…wow, look at the guys move!
    PacMan, Defender, DigDug, Galaxian (not Galaga), Tempest, Gorf, et al. will always be about an arcade where I grew up in Vermont. Unfortunately, it also reminds me of the fact the slimeball who owned the joint…he hired a guy to torch the neighbor’s place down to catch his place on fire, and then killed the guy. He just got out of jail. Big scandal.
    Gyruss, Tron, Discs of Tron (the enclosed one) and Stargate, will always be about year I moved away in high school and ruled the video scene.
    Vanguard (remember the four way shooting), Rock-n-Rope, Star Wars (shoot the Towers, Luke), Scrambler, Wizards of Wor, Robotron, Track and Field, Pengo, …the second arcade in town, where we all hung out, made out, and rocked out.
    Kung Fu Master (Judge……) reminds me of college and my best friend and I would play for hours.
    Gauntlet (I was the usually the Elf) will be Air Force Training in Texas…the amount of quarters put in and beer drank was amazing.
    The good news is we now have Dave and Busters to go to and relive the oldies but goodies. Or by the NES game at home. You can have your virutal reality….just give me a single joystick, a fire button, my Sony Walkman and a cassette of Rush’s “Moving Pictures”, and I’m all good.

  3. cookee says:
    1 February, 2006 at 6:43 pm

    ice climber was totally the best game ever…esp when you played two players. The funniest thing when I used to play on the NES with my sister is that if you jump a few platforms up the screen moves up to accomodate you and if the other player (ie my poor sister) was left behind…they died and lost a life!!! (heheheheh)

  4. cookee says:
    1 February, 2006 at 6:50 pm

    Hey did you Americans ever get the Amstrad range of PCs. They were out around the time of the Commodore 64 and the ZX Spectrum/81. Amstrad had a CPC464 (with a green screen). It was the first successfully mass marketed PC in the UK.

  5. IrishTook says:
    1 February, 2006 at 6:59 pm

    I recall playing PacMan at the Pizza Hut in Florida where I grew up. It was the lazy man’s (or woman in my case) version because you had to sit down and play. The arcade was inside the table top. These days I play the hand-held game controller thingie more than my kids. They thought I was the coolest when I got past level 2 (the blue level). Quite the good parental moment I must admit!

  6. Scott Alan Miller says:
    1 February, 2006 at 7:07 pm

    Man, Wil, just reading your rememberances takes me back to those games. I forget about arcades altogether these days. And Castelvania, I was thinking that just before you said it! That takes me back to a friend’s basement with his NES and Master System. And Tin Star at the Circle C Ranch in Delevan, NY (where I was caught in a horse stampede and had my leg and ribs broken 🙂 And, a little later on, Mortal Kombat that I used to go play at this little arcade near where I grew up. I never think about it but now I eat at a diner almost every day that is where that arcade used to be. I forgot all about that.

  7. Scott Alan Miller says:
    1 February, 2006 at 7:09 pm

    The best ever was Double Dragon. My buddy Eric and I used to save up quarters and walk down to this little small-town deli (The Oatka Deli) in Warsaw, NY. We would blow $10-$20 at a shot trying to beat that game. We did that for an entire summer. It took all summer before we were finally able to beat it. That takes me back.

  8. eydie says:
    1 February, 2006 at 7:12 pm

    That is entirely too funny. I have vivid memories of playing Donkey Kong in our family friends’ spare bedroom on their Colecovision, and playing Gorf on a good ol’ Commodore Vic 20. I can’t imagine how much time I wasted on those silly games! That and pinball.

  9. Iceriver says:
    1 February, 2006 at 7:32 pm

    I have fond memories of playing Intellvision and NES games, tron: deadly discs, donkey kong junior, pacman, frogger, advance dungeons & dragons treasure of tarmin, super mario bros, duck hunt, bug bunny 50th anniversary.. there were more, but I dont remember them because the games i mentioned above were my favorites. I played them often as a kid. I even bought intellvision, NES and some games off ebay just to relive the childhood memories I had with intellvision and NES, heh. I cant wait until my son is old enough to play the video games with me on an older gaming system and future gaming system. 🙂

  10. Joey G says:
    1 February, 2006 at 7:59 pm

    Wil, are you just daring us to counter with our videogame memories from the ’80s. I’ll keep mine short, because I could probably type for hours …
    — Centipede at the tavern my dad’s friends owned. And this was right after Centipede came out, too, and it was unlike any shooter up to that point (this was a few months before Galaga). The tavern sponsored a bus ride to the Cubs game, then returned to the bar. My dad, having had a few beers at the game, switched to water at the tavern and gave me a few bucks to play.
    — Galaga, Galaxian, Turbo, Tomahawk Missile, Radarscope and Eagle at Holiday Bowl in Norridge, Ill. A huge bowling alley now long gone; my mom was in a league there one morning a week, and we’d tag along during the summer. The trick was not wasting all our quarters before she bowled three games. Radarscope was an old Nintendo shooter which came out before Donkey Kong.
    — Astro Invader, Super Cobra, Wizard of Wor, Armor Attack at an arcade called Just Games in Chicago. Astro Invader, btw, is the game pushed over in the Tom Petty video “You Got Lucky.”
    — Way too many games to remember at the Aladdin’s Castle by us, but mostly seeing Gorf for the first time.
    — Chexx at the arcade at the roller rink that was also open to non-skaters.
    — Finally (well sort of, again, I could go on for hours), playing Dig Dug and Kangaroo at ChicagoFest at Navy Pier in 1982. Also saw Willie Tyler and Lester that night, The Association and a couple songs by Tito Puente and Ricky Skaggs (couldn’t convince my parents to go over and see Joan Jett, though 🙂
    I love Games of Our Lives, especially some games I’ve never heard of, I suppose there were a lot of games that never got east of California. Keep up the good work 🙂
    JG

  11. ShadowTracer says:
    1 February, 2006 at 8:10 pm

    My first videogame memory is going to a sand covered arcade along a Rhode Island beach when I was five years old. All of the screens were just over my eye level so I was walking on my tip-toes the whole time. There were lines of older kids playing most of the machines so I had little playing opportunity. The one game that I did get to try, however, was Kung-Fu Master. And what a game it was! I kicked and punched my way through four dollars of quarters (though I don’t think I past the part where the dragons flew at you). In the end I’m not sure any game has ever lived up.

  12. Grev says:
    1 February, 2006 at 8:41 pm

    I was never able to do the Turtle Trick in SMB.
    Or find the Minus Level.
    Anyway, my bowling alley memories are of Super Off-Road and Captain Commando. Mack the Knife forever, baby!

  13. courtslp2006 says:
    1 February, 2006 at 9:24 pm

    Reading this post, I was immediately brought back to a time when I was eight or nine years old. Several times a year, I would visit my grandparents, who owned a small hotel and bar in northern Saskatchewan (aka the middle of nowhere). Galaga was in the bar, and I remember playing for hours, recycling the quarters Grandma emptied from the machine every week. But I could only play during the daytime or on Sundays with the bar lights out so no one would suspect that there was an underage… um… patron in a drinking establishment. Thanks for bringing back good memories!

  14. mike3k says:
    1 February, 2006 at 9:50 pm

    I used to like pinball, so I just got Pinball Hall Of Fame for my PSP and I love it.
    You really need to check out the Gp2X (google it). It has lots of emulators and free games and the coolest thing about it is that it runs Linux.

  15. Millsey says:
    1 February, 2006 at 9:56 pm

    Hey Wil, I totally know what you mean by the feelings you get playing retro games. For me, I can play a game that is nothing by today’s standards and it gives me feelings of playing into the night with my brother after Christmas. Castlevania is a good choice to begin next, although the series is exceptionally controller-throwingly difficult (my brother always destroyed the controllers).

  16. GypsyElf says:
    1 February, 2006 at 10:58 pm

    hello, I’m new here,
    but I just finished Just a Geek, and I was utterly enchanted.
    Thank You…
    I know what you mean about the old school games…I work at a chemical dependency center with kids. It is inpatient so they can’t leave and most are between 13 and 17. So, sometimes, when its a special occasion, birthdays or holidays, I bring in my nintendo…yes I still have it, but the “a” button is a little…sluggish! And we all take turns playing. I am really terrible, but they are all pretty good!
    Thanks for the trip down memory lane.
    –TheElf

  17. chzimmerman says:
    1 February, 2006 at 11:36 pm

    I’ve heard that those controllers that play all of the NES classics are completely unlicensed and that Nintendo has been cracking down on the manufacturers.

  18. Kenyon says:
    1 February, 2006 at 11:51 pm

    Word up. Kung Fu was a freaking beautiful game. The second level the little midget guy comes, but the real trick was when they start to jump on the third level. That’s the good stuff.
    As for one memory of mine related to arcades and childhood (there are too many home system memories too count):
    In my hometown we had a mall and a shopping center, the shopping being center, being basically the ghetto mall. But what made it awesome was there was a nickel arcade. I think the most expensive game was a quarter. But most games were a nickel or a dime (2 nickels, actually, but you know). We’d drift around to various games, but basically everyone always ended up at Off-road. The one with the yellow, blue, and red steering wheels sticking out. Probably in large part due to the fact that it was one of the easiest games for kids too young to actuall be that good to play at. Me and my brothers, and father, and sometimes friends would all go down there and have a blast.
    Ah, good times.

  19. William Parr says:
    2 February, 2006 at 12:00 am

    yes those were the days. I loved the 80’s so much. so much in fact that I still wear spandex pants.

  20. William Parr says:
    2 February, 2006 at 12:09 am

    Wil.
    I know I wanted to ask a certain question here. Hopefully you’ll see, by any chance will you be making it to e3 this year.

  21. DorsetBlue says:
    2 February, 2006 at 12:50 am

    Although I have been reading the GooL columns each week, this is actually one of the first reviews of a game that I can remember playing in an arcade. I am now struggling to remember whether it was in the arcade at Swanage, the New Forest Show or the arcade in Salisbury.
    I still remember ‘Way of the Exploding Fist’ on the ZX Spectrum with the most fondness though.

  22. Danyiel says:
    2 February, 2006 at 5:04 am

    Castlevania rules! I still have the game, but my Nintendo console broke a loooong time ago. Maybe I can get a used one from GameSpot…

  23. Icelander says:
    2 February, 2006 at 5:32 am

    I’ve got the first three Castlevanias on my Nintendo in my basement. The carpet isn’t shag, and the TV is a 27″ Sony, but you can still come hang out.

  24. Mr. Lizard says:
    2 February, 2006 at 6:02 am

    I’m… uh… 46. Years old. I remember being in high school when Pong first appeared. We were in a hotel on a band trip (yes, I was a band geek) to Atlanta, I think. We were totally blown away by this weird game with blocky rectangular paddles and a little square “ball.” As I aged along with video games, I grew to love playing Centipede, Galaga (or Galaxia?) and Mappy. Yes, I loved Mappy. We played in a video game palace near Fort Lauderdale called The Castle. ‘Cause it looked like a castle, that’s why! My wife-to-be loved challenging me to Centipede, because she always beat me. But then I’d make her play Mappy. HAH! My turn to win! What ever happened to poor Mappy?

  25. Tiltmom says:
    2 February, 2006 at 6:47 am

    No Stargate? No Robotron? No Missile Command?
    I would demand better shooting locations.
    My dad never forgave me for the trip to Disneyland when I was 12 and refused to go to the theme park because there was a sit-down Deluxe Space Invaders at the hotel.

  26. TeamTJ says:
    2 February, 2006 at 7:29 am

    What is the name of that NES game thing? I’d love to get one!

  27. Kim the fangirl says:
    2 February, 2006 at 8:31 am

    I found my Atari the other day and played Riddle of the Sphinx. My kids were unimpressed, but it brought back a rainy Easter visiting my brother in Atlanta. I can still smell the pine trees. You’re right about how games bring back more sensations than memories. I don’t remember much else about the trip, but I do remember figuring out that if you stay all the way to the right, Ra can’t get you as easily. Good times 🙂

  28. KLoebrich says:
    2 February, 2006 at 9:22 am

    If you find Castlevania (a version that runs in Linux would be even more uber awesome) please post a link!
    I miss that game, too. Ah the Ataria days….

  29. KLoebrich says:
    2 February, 2006 at 9:23 am

    If you find Castlevania (a version that runs in Linux would be even more uber awesome) please post a link!
    I miss that game, too. Ah the Atari days….

  30. Dossy says:
    2 February, 2006 at 9:27 am

    “[…] the robot gyroscope game […]”
    OMG! Gyromite! What a fun little game that was.

  31. Mr. Person says:
    2 February, 2006 at 11:58 am

    Some of my earlier arcade memories are of playing Centipede, Donkey Kong, and Popeye in various restraunts up in Crestline, CA, but I loved going down to this crappy little “amusement park” down in Riverside where they had Gauntlet. Loved the Gauntlet. I even got the 4-player NES Satalite adapter so that I could play Gauntlet 2 on the NES with 4 players.
    Later on, when my folks moved us up to Eugene, Orego n I found an actual arcade there where I first encountered Bubble Bobble. I remember that a lot of the high scores ended at level 39, because level 39 is the first one where it becomes absolutely necessary to do the “bounce on your own bubble” thing to get out of the big hole you start the level in.

  32. blooflame says:
    2 February, 2006 at 5:17 pm

    I’ve never been a huge gamer, since my kids always beat me handily, but I have to wonder: why don’t some of these companies put the retro stuff on the GBA (especially the Micro)? The resolution is just about the same as it was on the televisions of yore, and because of memory restrictions, etcetera they don’t require a whole lot of attention – perfect for what they now call “casual gaming”! I’d especially like to see the Atari 800 versions of Star Raiders and Star Raiders II… and bring back M.U.L.E. too!

  33. shewhobeatsass says:
    2 February, 2006 at 9:51 pm

    those games at the Hilton wouldn’t happen to be the same games you all rigged to give free plays, would they?
    anyways…i came too late into the ’80s to play any of those games when they came out, but i do have 3 very fond memories of playing them later in life.
    1) playing an old NES game, a shooter, that required an ugly orange gun.
    2) being a very little kid, about 3 or 4 years old, and my mom teaching me to play DigDug on our Tandy 1000.
    3) being at my sister’s old house when i was 13 or 14 and having my then 8-year old nephew whup my ass at Pong on a Sega Genesis…really embarassing…

  34. horsenbuggy says:
    3 February, 2006 at 4:07 am

    Pong will always remind me of my uncle’s house. He was the first one in our family to get an Atari. For some odd reason he kept it in his bedroom even though he had three teenagers in the house (and he was not a perv; a jerk, yes; perv, no). He had this traction board also in his room – you know what I’m talking about, you step into the ankle supports and swing the board upside down…suddenly you’re hanging by your ankles. So two of us would play Pong and the third cousin got to hang upside down…a young kid’s Paradise. He was also the only uncle with a pool. There was a piano in the living room to bang on. And they always had a dish full up with Andies Candies. We didn’t particularly like that uncle, but we LURVED going to his house.

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