Well, I survived the first day of the World Poker Tour Invitational, and I’ve written up a recap of the day’s action over at CardSquad:

If Maxim did a poker issue, it would be this tournament:
the room is filled with big celebrities, beautiful models, and virtually every poker pro you could imagine. The
atmosphere is more like a party than any other tourney I’ve ever played, and everyone is having a good time.

At the end of day one, there are 98 players left. I am in 68th, with T17500, which is just about half of the average
stack of T32000. BJ has a
complete list of the players and their stacks over at PokerPages, and of course Pauly has the best live blog on the Internets, which includes a ton of
pictures.

I didn’t get many cards to play all day, but when I did, I got paid off nicely. I took a couple of pots from Jason Alexander, and I even busted John Juanda when he ran his KQ into my pocket Aces.

Some of you may have read that I
busted John. This is true, but it’s not as exciting or masterful as you may think. John was crippled when Jason flopped
Broadway for the nuts, and John made aces up on the turn. A few hands later, Daniel Negreanu came running over to our
table with some guy I didn’t recognize, and said to John, "Can you eat ten Saltines in sixty seconds?"

"What?" John said, and everyone else at the table thought.

"Saltine crackers. Can you
eat ten of them in sixty seconds?"

John thought for a second while he looked at his cards.

"Yeah, I think I can," he said.

"Okay!" Daniel said, with a little hop. "Juanda
is my horse! You get half my action, John."

"Let’s do it!" John said, and shoved his last
1000 or so into the pot. It was folded to me, and I figured that the BB and I were calling based strictly on odds and
probably checkint it down. That is, until I woke up with pocket aces.

"I have to raise," I said.
While I thought about what amount would get the BB to maybe call with something that I could survive, he folded J2o
face up.

"Go ahead and play it out," he said. "I’m not playing this."

I
flipped up my aces, and John flipped up KQ. I flopped an ace, busted John Juanda, and ended up with about 16K after the
whole thing was said and done. John and I shook hands, and the WPT cameras captured the whole thing. Daniel was putting
on quite a show for them, calling for cards and stuff, and it was pretty funny, so it stands a good chance of making
the broadcast, especially if I make it deep today.

I have a tough table today, with Scott Fischman immediately to my left, but I also know that I essentially have one steal, and after that it’s push-or-fold time. If you’re interested in tracking my action, Pauly will be live blogging me and the rest of the field at Tao of Poker.

I was up way too late last night, because I played in a 180 player Sit-n-go tournament at PokerStars, to warm myself up for the World Poker Tour Invitational, which I play in later today at the Commerce Casino.

I finished tenth, one off the final table, when I made a great call with A9 against QT when I flopped a pair of nines and he pushed. Sadly, he paired his queen on the turn and I didn’t catch up on the river. I made $43 bucks for my trouble, though, a bunch of my WPBT friends sweated me through the whole thing, and I confirmed that my large-ish field tournament strategy is solid. I’ll take my iRiver with me to the tourney, and put together an audio diary for RFB #5.

Anyway, the tourney went super late, and I was wound up when it was done and didn’t settle down until well after midnight, so I ended up sleeping much later today than I normally do. I’m in a bit of a panic about hitting my various deadlines since I have two less hours to work with, but I wanted to point you all to this week’s Games of our Lives: Shark! Shark!

In the great console wars of the ’80s, Mattel’s Intellivision was
severely handicapped by its weird controllers and faux wood-grain
finish. The Atari 2600, though technologically inferior, had a lower
price, plus companies like Activision and Imagic cranking out tons of
future classics for the system. But in 1982, Intellivision released Shark! Shark!, a game that was so successful, it even caught Mattel’s marketing department off guard.

I loved playing Shark! Shark! and I’m going to do lots of Intellivision games for future columns. I wish I’d been able to get over its weird controllers and faux wood-grain finish — oh, and had the $299 to purchase one — back in the 1980s, because those Intellivision games rule.

Nolan and I ended up brushing our teeth at the same time last night, and while we stood next to each other in the bathroom, he looked at me in the mirror and said, "I had a really good time this weekend, Wil."

I dumped toothpaste foam all over the place as I said, "I did, too."

Friday

I was supposed to head out to the Infamous Murderer’s Row homegame for some crazy poker action, but several events conspired to keep me home, where I played in the Donkeys Always Draw Heads-Up Championship. My results are over at CardSquad.

Saturday

My brother has this hawesome remote controlled car that he got from woot last year. Nolan has this equally hawesome remote controlled car that he got from the remote controlled car place last month. I have this cool barbeque and a freezer filled with meat.

Nolan put those things together and planned on a Saturday barbeque and car race, but the weather babe on KCAL kept telling us it was going to rain, so Jeremy and Nolan rescheduled Saturday’s festivites for Monday, which was a school and work holiday.

Anne was out for the day with her friend, so the kids and I spent the day in true guys-home-aone fashion: even though it didn’t rain, it was freezing cold here (by Los Angeles standards) so we spent most of the day inside watching movies and playing Pirates! on Xbox. I think we reheated some food, but mostly ate chips and salsa. Hawesome.

Late in the afternoon, while I stood in front of the refrigerator and tried to talk myself into preparing dinner (rather than ordering pizza), the kids walked into the kitchen together.

"Hey, Wil," Ryan said, "can we play D&D?"

"Yeah," Nolan said, "you keep saying that we’ll play, but we never do."

"Guys," I said, "you know that I haven’t had time to put together an adventure."

Their shoulders slumped.

"But!" I said, "I have an idea that may be even more fun than D&D."

I closed the refrigerator door, and went to the phone to order pizza.

"Go to my Big Trunk of Games, and bring out Munchkin."

I ordered a large pepperoni, and met them at the dining room table. Nolan held the box in his hands.

"So this is just like D&D," I said, "without any of the annoying role playing."

I opened the box, and split the cards into treasure and door piles.

"The thing is," I said, "you can’t take this game seriously. At all. Even a little bit. The whole point here is to screw with each other and come up with really lame ways to beat each other up."

"I think I’m going to love this," Ryan said.

I walked them through the rules, and we started our first game. I desperately hoped that they’d grok the game, and wondered if they’d get into the spirit of Munchkin.

A few hands into the game, when I was at about level four or five, I used up a few cards to defeat a level 10 Floating Nose.

"Uh, that’s an Ancient Floating Nose Ryan said, tossing down a card an pumping it up to level 16. Okay,  Ryan gets it.

I played a most of my remaining cards, and said, "Okay, I defeat the Floating Nose!"

"Yeah, you sure did," Nolan said, "but guess what?" He drew a card from his hand and slammed it down on the table. "It has a mate! Ohhhhh, sorry about that." Okay, Nolan gets it, too.

"Aw, crap!" I said. I looked through my hand, and pulled out a +2 Buckler of Swashing, worth 400. "Okay, I bribe the Floating Nose’s mate and make a masterful escape."

"Oh man!" Nolan said. "I’ll get you next time!" He made a fist at me and shook it. I couldn’t recall the last time I’d had so much fun with the two of them.

During our second game, I asked Ryan to help me defeat a Pukachu, which Nolan had made Humongous.

"What’s in it for me?" He said.

"Well, how about I let you take half the treasure, and I give you this +2 Singing and Dancing Sword?"

"Well, I’ll ask heem, but ah don’t think he’ll be very keen," he said, in a bad French accent, "he’s already got one, you see!"

I blinked at him. Did he just quote Holy Grail at me?

He snickered into his hand. "I told heem we already got one!"

"You realize there is only one +2 Singing and Dancing Sword in the game, right?"

"I don’t want to talk to you no more!" He said. "I blow my nose at you, and fart in your general direction!"

I glanced at Nolan. He looked back at me like we were speaking a foreign language. Which we were.

"What are you talking about?" He said to Ryan.

"Oh my god, Nolan, it’s from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It’s the funniest movie ever." He turned to me. "You’re on your own there, big guy."

I looked at Nolan. "Little help?"

Nolan just laughed, and  I had to discard my entire hand when I rolled a two.

We played several games, messing with each other, helping each other, double-crossing each other, and scarfing down an entire large pizza. Yes, it was just like D&D, but without all the annoying role playing.

We finished the night on the couch, watching the Super G from Torino in HDTV. We may have played some more Pirates! too, before we all went to our respective beds around midnight.

Sunday

The kids organized a football game with their friends, and I stayed home with my dogs and watched the Olympics. I may have played Pirates! for three hours, too, but the record is unclear on that. I can confirm that I jogged a little bit, wrote a little bit, washed some clothes, and told Anne over and over again how much fun I had with the kids on Saturday night.

"It was more than just playing games and goofing off," I told her, "it was that they could have gone to  a friend’s house, or watched TV, or played games without me, but they both came to me to do stuff together. After all these years," I said, "I’m really feeling like they’re bonding to me."

Monday

Nolan got up early, and built his race course in the front yard. Jeremy has a street car, and Nolan has an off-road car, so Nolan had spent a lot of time during the week beta testing various designs which he felt would balance Jeremy’s speed with his own off-road advantage. The rain on Friday night had compacted down a lot of the soft dirt at the edge of the driveway, so Nolan worked on a quick redesign, which he was certain would be perfect for the two of them when Jeremy arrived.

Sadly, when my brother got here, they discovered that their cars have the same frequency, so they settled on time trials instead. Ryan and I threw a football around in the grass while the two of them raced, and though I love my brother, I have to say that he never stood a chance. Nolan is a master of the remote controlled car, and he pwned Jeremy.

A little past noon, I headed out to the barbeque to grill some cheeseburgers. I’ll spare you all the details, but I managed to turn the lovely little sirloin patties into carbonized drink coasters. We ended up driving to this place on Hill called Tops, which is an awesome hamburger joint, in the style of Tommy’s or In-N-Out.

We took it back home, and made a real mess of ourselves. And by "we" I mean "me," because the whole point of eating a chilicheeseburger is to wear as much of it as possible.

After Jeremy left around 3:30, Ryan made some really cool songs in Garageband (which I’ll probably include in a future episode of Radio Free Burrito) while Nolan watched me play Pirates! a little bit more. I was determined to get the Governor of Maricaibo’s Daughter to marry me, which I figured would be a slam-dunk since I was such a great dancer, and captured the damn city for the Dutch in the first place. It turned out that she wanted all these presents, and for me to waste her fiance and for me to rescue her when she was kidnapped. Sheesh! Women! Good thing she was beautiful (and I had to marry her as a Pirate Quest) or I think I may have married the Governor of Trinidad’s rather plain daughter, who wasn’t so high maintenence.

We goofed off until Anne came home from work, and we all had dinner together. They all sat together and watched House, which I’m not that into, while I went up to my office and caught up on all the e-mails and bloglines subscriptions I’d been ignoring while I had the best weekend ever with my kids.

When it was time for bed, Nolan and I ended up brushing our teeth at the same time. While we stood next to each other in the bathroom, he looked at me
in the mirror and said, "I had a really good time this weekend, Wil."

I dumped toothpaste foam all over the place as I said, "I did, too."

"We are no longer the knights who say ‘Ni!’ We are now the knights who say ‘Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv’!’ We must give you a test."

"What is this test, oh Knights of . . . Knights who until recently said ‘Ni!’"

-Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Night before last, Ryan and I got some take out for dinner, and ended up spending about three hours sitting at our dining room table, talking about all sorts of things. Our relationship grew several levels, and while I’m keeping the details of that to myself, I will do something I rarely do: I’ll take some credit for being a good parent. I will also do something I quite often do: I’ll marvel at how wise Ryan is. Both of the kids have their pod-people days, of course, but over the last several months, those days are fewer and farther between than ever before, and I’m grateful for that.

Late on Wednesday night, while we cleaned up our dinner dishes, Ryan said, "You know, I’ve wanted to watch Monty Python for a really long time."

"I have Holy Grail in the living room," I said.

"Do you think I’ll like it?" He said.

"Well, I’m not sure. It’s a blend of absurdity and dry British humor. It’s one of those things that you either grok right away, or just don’t respond to."

"Will you watch it with me?" He said.

"Sure," I said, "we’ll watch it tomorrow after dinner."

And that’s what we did. Anne and Nolan went back into our bedroom to watch TV, and Ryan and I fired up Monty Python and the Holy Grail on our home theater.

I was unsure if he’d like it or not, because his generation has been raised on the comedic stylings of films like Anchorman and televison shows like MAD TV — not exactly the type of humor you’ll find in Flying Circus.

I dimmed the lights, and hit play.

"Why are there subtitles?" He said.

"Just watch."

Around the time "a moose bit my sister once . . . " came up on the screen, he was holding his stomach, convulsing in giggles.

"Ah, good. He gets it." I proudly thought.

He loved all the things I loved when I was his age: the French Taunter, The Black Knight, The Castle Anthrax, and the Killer Rabbit.

"I can see why you liked this so much," he said when it was over. "How many times have you seen this?"

"Between eighty and a hundred, I guess," I said.

"Will you watch it with me again?" he said, "I feel like I missed some funny stuff that I’ll catch next time."

"Of course," I said.

"Okay, I’m going to bed now," he said.

He walked back to his room singing, "Brave Sir Robin ran away . . . bravely ran away, away . . ."

He laughed to himself as he closed his bedroom door.