songs in the key of hardbacks

In 24 hours, the signed, numbered, limited edition hardbacks of The Happiest Days of Our Lives will finally go on sale, and I’ve been signing and numbering books so we can process and ship orders as quickly and efficiently as possible.

There are only 300 in this limited edition, (which sounds like a lot to me until I look at my traffic stats and see over 30,000 RSS subscribers and an average of about 6000 different people actually hitting my site every day) and I’ve been signing them 50 books at a time, to ensure that my signature looks good — it turns out that a standard Sharpie pen is good for about 20 signatures from me before the tip breaks down, for those of you scoring at home.

The last few weeks have been frustrating and discouraging, but the last few days have been a hell of a lot more fun while we get ready to sell these books tomorrow. Signing them has been fun, too, mostly because I’ve been keeping myself entertained by singing little songs when I sign different numbers:

"17/300 – She’s only seventeen . . ." (Kip Winger, why hast thou forsaken me?)
"19/300 – Ninteen! Ninteen! Nuh-nuh-nuhnuh-ninteen!" (Paul Hardcastle FTW!)
"25/300 – Twenty-five, twenty-five, does whatever a twenty-five does." (I didn’t pick up the book and make it walk on the ceiling . . . or did I?)
"42/300 – Don’t ask me, for number 42, don’t have to tell you, I signed your precious book." (To the tune of INXS’s ‘Never Tear Us Apart.’)
"87/300 – Star Trek: The Next Generation . . . started in niii-eye-yiii-teen eighty-seven" (Sung to the tune of our theme song, of course.)

I think I need to move to a more well-ventilated area.

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48 thoughts on “songs in the key of hardbacks”

  1. You do realize now that you posted this, everyone who is lucky enough to get a signed copy, will want to know what the song for their number was. You don’t know what you started here… you’ll have to make an extensive list now. LOL

  2. Hey, any way I can convince you to not only sell me a signed hardback but personalize it a tad further? (request sent to your email, also.)
    I’ll uh, not call your hammer bets if you do! 😛

  4. Wil, you need to stop huffing the Sharpie…it kills the brain cells. Now those great Mr. Magic markers from when i was a kid with the totally synthetic smells (mmm…fake cinnamon), those you should huff.
    and I totally agree with starshine diva…the ultimate answer FTW.

  6. Ahh, marker fumes. I remember an art project I had in college: draw lines on blank notecards to evoke different emotions (biggest lump of BS assignment I ever hand.) I was using a black marker in an enclosed dorm room. I stopped when I started seeing colored lines. Fun times. 🙂

  8. While you are singing a little song that is actually related to the number you are signing, that’s OK – it’s when you start singing little songs that have no relevance whatsoever, you may want to seek better ventilation!

  9. Don’t get him started. He may start putting secret encoded messages in his signed books.
    “Buy more dice…I compel thee…buy more D20s…”

  10. Re: Kip Winger. Yes. That song OMG did NOT stand the test of time. And I was actualy a Winger fan. I remember drawing a Kip Winger portrait once from a poster in Metal Edge magazine.
    (did I lose geek cred from admitting I read Metal Edge magazine?)
    DOH!

  11. Personally I kind of want #47 just because it pops up an inordinate amount of times during TNG and has always made me laugh when I notice it. 🙂
    When I was a stage manager and general theatre techie I had to use Sharpies all the time for labeling the prop table and other things and I remember that beautiful fume. Sharpies are good times, oh yes.
    Methinks you will sell your 300 limited run very quickly. Lot’s of people want your book. If you do sell out quickly would you think of doing a second edition of the book limited run (perhaps unsigned to save your wrist from certain misery)? You like to do limited runs of things but you definitely have a lot of people interested in buying all your works, especially when we realize we’ve missed something.
    Glad to hear you’re having fun! 🙂 Keep up the good work!

  12. Umm, I think I had premature ordering. I couldn’t wait for the hardcover.
    “Why not order both?” my internal Wheaton says; however, my MasterCard says, “Order thee neigh!”

  13. dude! be careful! i once spent too much time smelling sharpies in an unventilated. room. i felt kind of woozy. it was fun, but sort of wrong.
    and then i had to teach myself how to read again.

  14. As someone who only occasionally comes to your site, I wonder, how much money is there to be made in self-publishing? (assuming you’re not that Cures the Government Doesn’t Want You To Know guy, that is)
    I imagine it is very tough to earn a living doing it. Nevertheless at some point I am going to buy your book. I have yet to buy any of your books. It is mostly a matter of my finances and my time. I have a house full of books. I get to them one at a time.
    I am just starting a new business and thus have no income to speak of for now. Nevertheless I am pulling for you!

  15. Is it a sad thing that I figured out where to plug in the 1987 bit into the TNG theme?
    Come 3:00 eastern tomorrow, I had better be here. I hope.

  16. SanideK, I hope not, because not only could I fit it into the theme song, I started trying to finish the song…
    I’ll be haunting this site tomorrow afternoon

  17. My debit card is ready and my schedule is clear. Now, I just have to make sure no siblings decide to visit…or call…or the roommates decide to bug me in any way, shape, or form…

  18. I think everyone here will understand when I say: Wil! Extend the print run to 1,999! 😀 (Tries to get pictures of Wil dressed as 1980’s Prince out of his head. Too funny. Too funny.) 😀

  20. My apologies, shewhobeatsass. I promise I will try and keep images of Wil dressed in purple and lace and singing Darling Nikki away from this sire.
    Aw, nuts. I did it again. 😀

  23. It is THE day!!! I’ve tried to not be tempted to buy the soft cover book in order to get the limited edition with your signature–because that’s how I roll (for now)! If I’m lucky enough to get the hardback on time, it will be the first book by Wil Wheaton that I will have in my library. Here’s to good luck! And, did you think to sing “One” when you opened the first hardback to sign it? “One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do…” I really like the version Filter did for the X-Files movie soundtrack, which I still have somewhere….

  24. You must go to YouTube and view this sequence, which Ebert has called maybe the best sequence on YouTube, evah:

    It’s called 100 Movies, 100 Quotes, 100 Numbers.

  26. Thanks for the Sharpie tip…that will come in handy.
    Any evidence of difference among brands, or between black versus blue? 😉
    Also, completely out of the blue (no pun intended) may I ask a favor?
    Will you go visit my friend Stephanie’s blog and leave a comment?
    If you read the post, you’ll see why. 🙂
    Thanks for considering it.
    Stephanie’s Confession
    Julie
    Using My Words

  29. Hey Wil! I just ordered the hardback book! Yay I am so excited to read it! I just had a quick question. You aren’t signing our names are you? Just yours right? Because my paypal account is under my brothers name. 😛

  31. …I feel like I just won a “woot off”. I was monitoring the Monolith Press site off and on all morning. I saw 2:56 PM on my laptop’s clock, and decided to try the page again.
    The book order page updated early. I rushed to find “Ship to the United States”, signed into Paypal, hastily clicked “BUY NOW”.
    It was over, and my book was ordered. My wife cheered.
    It’s mine. All mine!

  32. Wooo Hooo! I have mine too! And yeah…ditto…my paypal is under my hubbies name. Can’t wait to get it! 🙂
    I bet you are sold out by the end of the day. 🙂

  36. Just got my recipt for HDOOL! 😀
    Happy happy me!
    Apparently I got #9. I always thought 9 was lucky number (true!) so I guess that’s appropriate. 😛

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