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early morning conversations with my brain

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Right around five this morning, some animals decided to throw a screaming, raging, howling party in my backyard . . . with serious emphasis on the screaming and howling.

My dogs must have thought it was a great party, because they both joined in the howling. For maximum fun, they added some of their own barking and yelping, so I would wake up, see what I was missing, and let them run out there to join in the fun.

Yeah. That wasn’t going to happen, so I got up, calmed them down, and hopped back into my nice warm bed to sleep for another three hours.

Yeah. That wasn’t going to happen either. As soon as my head hit my pillow, I had the following conversation:

My brain: Hey, are we awake?

Me: We were, but now we’re going back to sleep.

My brain: Dude! We’re totally awake! Awesome! Weee!

Me: Quiet, you. I’m going back to sleep.

My brain: Okay, but before you go back to sleep, listen to me for a minute. While you were sleeping, I totally came up with this idea for the manga script you’re supposed to be writing.

Me: I’m very proud of you. Let’s talk about it in a few hours. After I wake up for real.

My brain: But it’s so cool! Okay, here’s what happens . . .

Me: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

My brain: It’s due in 11 days, dude. I think you should just get up and start writing.



Me:
It’s . . . [look at the clock] 5:13 in the morning, dude! It’s still dark.

My brain: Okay. If you really want to sleep, go ahead. I’ll be here when you wake up.

Me: Thank you.

30 seconds later . . .

My brain: ‘”I’m a cowboy! On a steel horse I ride! I’m wanted (wanted!) Dead or alive! Bow wow wow woooowwwwww.”

Me: What. Are. You. Doing.

My brain: I sing to myself when I can’t sleep.

Me: But . . . Bon Jovi? Really?

My brain: Hey, maybe you should play less Rock Band.

Me: I hate you.

My brain: As long as you’re awake, why don’t you get out of bed and write down this awesome story idea I have? It’ll be fun!

Me: I’m going to kill you with so much Arrogant Bastard tonight.

My brain: Yay! Everyone wins!

I got out of bed. The house was cold and dark, and my Macbook’s screen hurt my eyes when I woke it up, but I sat down at the dining room table, and worked on my script for the next four hours.

This is how I know I’m a writer.

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17 December, 2007 Wil

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Thank you, Chris Dodd → ← we three geeks at child’s play are . . .

55 thoughts on “early morning conversations with my brain”

  1. FusedLight says:
    17 December, 2007 at 9:32 am

    At least YOU get to stay in your nice warm house when you Get An Inspiration. When the glass muses hit me at 5AM and I want to work on some art I have to got out to the studio. OUT to the studio in the loft over the garage. Through the cold. -5F cold. I love Minnesota. But when the muses call, who are we to ignore them, eh?
    Gary

  2. angie k says:
    17 December, 2007 at 9:32 am

    My brain: ‘”I’m a cowboy! On a steel horse I ride! I’m wanted (wanted!) Dead or alive! Bow wow wow woooowwwwww.”
    …
    Me: But . . . Bon Jovi? Really?

    *snerk* That’s just awesome. Congratulations. You’ve just given my brain another song to sing at inopportune times. I mean, right now it’s working it’s way through “Holiday Inn” but Bon Jovi’s a nice change.
    A manga script? O RLY? O_o Yay! I await details when you can legally divulge them.
    Cheers!

  3. Lamguin says:
    17 December, 2007 at 9:52 am

    Very funny. Best post in a while. Keep it up, Sir Wil.

  4. Kami-kalikimaka says:
    17 December, 2007 at 9:53 am

    I have (luckily) never allowed myself to get up that early unless it’s for a baby. I’m real good at playing back movies or stories in a book through my brain to numb it back to sleep. Take that, feeble brain!

  5. Kim Wilson says:
    17 December, 2007 at 9:53 am

    he he!
    I have had the same argument with my own brain, and like you, my brain usually wins. When i was in university, i would often get up and type in my sleep. My room-mate was VERY understanding…I was often confused, with no recollection of typing during the night. But the words were there..
    and thanks for the “ear worm”. Now I will have that song in my head all afternoon!

  6. JMama3 says:
    17 December, 2007 at 9:57 am

    Thank goodness, I thought I was the only one who had conversations like that!

  7. Brian says:
    17 December, 2007 at 10:00 am

    Rock Band has totally given my brain a ton of ammo to sing at stupid times like this. I’ve caught myself humming Dead or Alive at random points in the day and it’s just very weird. šŸ˜€

  8. Ian Potter says:
    17 December, 2007 at 10:07 am

    You should check out Nocturne if you plan to do any early morning/late night writing.
    http://docs.blacktree.com/nocturne/nocturne

  9. Celtic Mama says:
    17 December, 2007 at 10:42 am

    I hope you at least get to take a nap today!

  10. drumgoddess says:
    17 December, 2007 at 10:44 am

    ahaha..
    your brain and my brain share a common lobe. A noisy, often annoying, and generally too creative for my sleeping habit lobe.
    11 days? Luxury!
    and are you seriously listening to Christmas music? For a Manga?
    …You know? Never mind, the brain is a wondrous and wrinkled place. I would never THINK to argue with whatever gets the Bon Jovi out your mind.
    Happy writing.

  11. Ian Coomber says:
    17 December, 2007 at 10:48 am

    Grrr, you’re so lucky having that happen to you.
    And when I say ‘that’, I don’t mean the being woken up early by a chorus of animals, I mean the desire and motivation to sit down and write as soon as something comes to you like that, regardless of whenever/wherever you are.
    Assuming you’re writing is half decent that is, which I’m sure it will be. šŸ˜€

  12. CarolP says:
    17 December, 2007 at 10:48 am

    Yup, there’s no turning back now. Definitely a writer.
    You’ve just brilliantly summed up why I keep a pencil and paper on my nightstand. Don’t fight it, Wil. Never fight the muse.

  13. Liam Gladdy says:
    17 December, 2007 at 10:51 am

    Hey, aren’t you a WGA member? How does the writing work with the strike?!
    I always figured you were!

  14. ShowbizPRgirl says:
    17 December, 2007 at 11:06 am

    Boy, can I relate, Wil! I’m working on a comic book series with my co-writer Jeff Mariotte (Buffy, Angel, Charmed, Supernatural) and there have been nights, lately, where it’s going on 6-freakin-a.m. and I still haven’t gone to sleep yet because my brain just won’t stop going over story ideas for issues 3 years down the road! I mean, seriously. Short of downing a bottle of tequila with two sleeping pills, what’s a girl gotta do around here to get some shut-eye?

  15. DJC says:
    17 December, 2007 at 11:20 am

    Too riotous. Snarfed!
    %
    “Me: I’m going to kill you with so much Arrogant Bastard tonight.
    My brain: Yay! Everyone wins!” – W.Wheaton vs his brain, 05:13 17 Dec 2007
    %

  16. R says:
    17 December, 2007 at 11:25 am

    Hilarious! and do I ever feel you, dude. Why is is that the ideas always come at those times? I am totally going to remember this dialogue next time I can’t sleep for writing in my head…

  17. Wil says:
    17 December, 2007 at 11:26 am

    Liam: I’m not WGA, and the project I’m working on isn’t for film or television, or subject to any union jurisdiction.
    Having said that, if a job came my way that was covered by WGA, I certainly wouldn’t take it, because that would be scabbing, and scabs should be boiled in oil and forced to watch The View.

  18. dakabn says:
    17 December, 2007 at 11:33 am

    I know I’m a creative. I’m a professional Graphic Designer and recreational writer. I don’t have enough attention span to actually write something worth publishing, but I enjoy writing.
    Anyway. I’ve been getting ready for bed or about to fall asleep and an idea for a little story or a design that I’ve been struggling with pops into my head. Annoying but I smirk and think, “I am so the creative.”

  19. Michael says:
    17 December, 2007 at 11:42 am

    My boyfriend’s comment: ‘He’s so behind the times. I IM with my brain.’
    I wonder how many people will be influenced by the power of suggestion here …

  20. drumgoddess says:
    17 December, 2007 at 12:07 pm

    ~~~”Having said that, if a job came my way that was covered by WGA, I certainly wouldn’t take it, because that would be scabbing, and scabs should be boiled in oil and forced to watch The View.”~~~
    I agree, concur and other words as well.
    (except for all the sweatshop reality writers who are -already- treated so badly that the View and the boiling oil thing might be a welcome respite.)
    I wonder if I’ll be seeing you on the lines for the Globes. Cause, you know, Red Carpet Picketing ought to be fun.
    (also, Arrogant Bastard ftw! A useful tool that should be in every writer’s toolbox/fridgybox.)

  21. adichappo says:
    17 December, 2007 at 12:07 pm

    Wil,
    You writing a manga script?? As in like a whole book or series? You’re coolness factor just skyrocketed in my book! I’m a huge manga lover of books from all over the world (not just Japan). Of course, I still have to get the ST manga with your story in it. It’s on my list…really!! Good luck with the script. I hope the next time your brain has a great idea it’s at a sane hour @_@

  22. jslicer says:
    17 December, 2007 at 12:37 pm

    You best hope that your brain came up with some super-mega-awesome ideas for the manga, otherwise having a story in your next collection about being pwn3d by your own brain is not a pleasant prospect. Ha ha!

  23. Kirsten says:
    17 December, 2007 at 12:42 pm

    One of these days I’m going to learn to let my brain win. I’ve “written” some good stuff (to me, anyway) in my brain as I’m falling asleep, assuming it would still be there the next morning. But it never is…

  24. zizban says:
    17 December, 2007 at 12:54 pm

    Your brain talks to in a surfer voice? Man, that would make pound the Arrogant Bastard hard.

  25. cognitive dissident says:
    17 December, 2007 at 1:08 pm

    Wil Wheaton is a writer

    Wil Wheaton is a writer, and a good one at that. His “early morning conservations with my brain” is a great reminder to always be ready and willing to jot down that great idea…even when it wakes you up at…

  26. Ben @ Jump-Leads.com says:
    17 December, 2007 at 1:17 pm

    Bizarrely, something very similar happened to me this morning at around 3:30am. I was woken up following a particularly odd dream (featuring a guest appearance by the Gorillaz) and my brain just would not switch off. It proceeded to give me ideas it had come up for Interesting Developments for a Jump Leads script I’m writing, and also (for some reason) insisted that I read the Shaun of the Dead trade paperback.
    I didn’t get up to write, largely because I had to be up in two and a half hours, but in retrospect seeing as I didn’t get to sleep again until gone 5am, perhaps doing some writing would have been a good idea.

  27. dake says:
    17 December, 2007 at 1:20 pm

    speaking of the WGA, it looks like Dave Letterman is helping to break the AMPTPTDSWEPOEIRU/whatever by negotiating directly with the WGA, and Leno and Conan are going back to work, joining Last Call with Carson Sellout (Seriously! The first thing I thought when I heard that he was going back on the air was, “Wasn’t he cancelled like 5 years ago?”) in sticking it to the writers… Boycott the Tonight Show!!!!

  28. amityisland says:
    17 December, 2007 at 2:03 pm

    I used to get that feeling whenever I had a paper to write in high school or college. Always did my best work from 6-10am – I blame my Dad…he get’s up at 3:30am just to RUN before work (sheesh).
    “Having said that, if a job came my way that was covered by WGA, I certainly wouldn’t take it, because that would be scabbing, and scabs should be boiled in oil and forced to watch The View”
    Now that’s cruel, Wil.

  29. DavePress says:
    17 December, 2007 at 2:05 pm

    WEIRD. My brain did that to me too this morning, and I woke up and wrote for an hour about the Buffalo Bills souring loss on Sunday eliminating them from playoff contention.
    And also tried to find my wool cross country skier winter cap because the high today was 26.

  30. merindab says:
    17 December, 2007 at 2:19 pm

    I totally understand this! I had that the other night when I was going brushing my teeth and about to go to bed.
    brain: okay so my name is Pisces…
    me: great can we right this down in the morning, I’m tired?
    brain:and then this happens…
    so I spent the next hour writing stuff by longhand….

  31. Spamelot says:
    17 December, 2007 at 2:30 pm

    Very inspirational! I’m jealous!

  32. 1BigBank says:
    17 December, 2007 at 2:50 pm

    OK, so when my brain deprives me of sleep I pull a Homer and threaten to stab it with a Q-Tip. My Brain promptly shuts up and leaves me alone.
    Try it, it works.
    Be good homeskill Wil.
    Mark.

  33. Louffi says:
    17 December, 2007 at 2:57 pm

    I totally loved reading this and I even more love it that I Am Not Alone.
    Great šŸ™‚

  34. vincentsmommy says:
    17 December, 2007 at 3:11 pm

    At least you have something cool like Bon Jovi running through your head when you wake up at odd hours. Well, too me Bon Jovi’s cool. Because, when you have a sixteen-month-old baby running around the house, you sometimes end up waking up to the theme songs of “Franklin”, “The Wonder Pets”, or “The Backyardigans” stuck in your head! That’s so NOT cool at five in the morning. What’s worse, there’s usually nothing creative happening to cover up the sound, either! Yikes!

  35. kristinalead says:
    17 December, 2007 at 7:47 pm

    No sympathy from me, as I get up at 5 for work every day…
    I saw Bon Jovi live on Saturday night in Vancouver and I totally couldn’t sleep afterwards cause “Dead or Alive” was spinning through my head all night and into the early morning – what is it about that song?
    On a totally fucked up note, have you seen this ad for warcraft.com? Is nothing sacred anymore? *insert sounds of disgust here*

  36. Simply Caitlin says:
    17 December, 2007 at 8:23 pm

    You know I love you, Wil…but…I. Hate. Manga.
    I work in a bookstore and the kids are obsessed beyond ALL recognition. Some don’t even have a mere 5 paragraphs in them but parents don’t care because the kids are reading. But they’re reading crap. Good luck on yours, I know you don’t write crap so I’ll give you a little bit of leniancy..but. Jeeze.
    Oh and I love your Brain, too šŸ™‚

  37. Jon C says:
    17 December, 2007 at 8:52 pm

    Heh, while I’m not a writer, often this happens to me with my D&D items, right as I’m falling asleep my brain will go, “Hey Jon, yknow what would make a cool campaign?” and “I realize you don’t actually run campaigns anymore Jon, but you know what would be a good one if you did?”
    Usually happens on nights where I’ve got an early meeting the next morning. Fun.

  38. oregonchick says:
    17 December, 2007 at 9:12 pm

    Even if you ever doubt that you are a writer, it sounds like your Brain is absolutely certain that it is a writer.
    Ugh. I’m watching Clash of the Choirs (I’ve been in choirs most of my life and thought it would be fun. Now I’m not sure). Michael Bolton’s choir is singing Living on a Prayer. I’d take my own brain singing Dead or Alive any day over this!
    Perhaps, Wil, your singing creative brain could come up with a solution to the WGA impasse, so that good (or at least relatively better) programming will be available in the new year?

  39. weather89 says:
    17 December, 2007 at 10:10 pm

    random songs always run through my head at random hours, last night was Christmas carols, courtesy of the attempt to stay warm and awake at 3:30 after the fire alarm in the dorm went off, causing my friends and I to sing Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer as loudly as we could.
    When the alarm finally shut up (around 5, I think, they were working on it all night – it went off again at 7:30), I couldn’t get my brain to shut up, chemistry and Christmas carols.
    Needless to say, my final exam today was fun after a grand total of three hours of sleep.
    Good luck with the fight with your brain.

  40. Cassandra St Thomas says:
    17 December, 2007 at 10:49 pm

    At least your muse is working Wil. The local Kookaburra family decided to give little Kooka his/her training wheels this morning right outside my window. No muse or ‘musement to be drived from 15 minutes of solid maniacal Laughing kookaburras living up to their name. Except maybe watching Junior learning to balance with short stubby wings and tail, on our washing/drying line. Aaaaaww, for about a minute …

  41. Roxanne says:
    18 December, 2007 at 2:25 am

    your brain is an awesome place to hang !

  42. JenBreier says:
    18 December, 2007 at 5:01 am

    I’m envious of you (and the others who posted here) that your brain wants you to do something productive when it doesn’t want to go back to sleep.
    My brain just starts worrying about all sorts of things – at 3am. Or it informs me that it is going on vacation while I’m at work. And lately, it has been singing that Wham! Christmas song.
    If only my brain kept me awake to do something productive and sang songs that were at least okay.

  43. Onaree says:
    18 December, 2007 at 5:41 am

    I used to have a similar problem with my brain. However, mine was always waking me up going over what bills were due, when the checks would be back to the bank if I sent it out on such and such date, etc. This would go on for hours. Thankfully, I put an end to that. Lexapro works wonders. *smile*

  44. AT says:
    18 December, 2007 at 7:42 am

    Best post in awhile. Points for the Bon Jovi reference.

  45. Scott_the_Survivor says:
    18 December, 2007 at 7:43 am

    VERY funny! Now I’m gonna have that song stuck in my head all day! I know the drive to write, too!

  46. SarahD says:
    18 December, 2007 at 8:46 am

    …and that is why I can’t watch Battlestar Galactica after 10 pm, because my brain won’t. shut. UP. about it. I forgot about this when Razor came on, and for hours it was blahblahCylonsblahblahblah Apollo blahblah Starbuck blahblahblah…. I have never threatened it with drunkenness before, however, so I must try that.

  47. Nadia says:
    18 December, 2007 at 10:33 am

    “This is how I know I’m a writer.”
    And a damn good one too.

  48. JenBreier says:
    18 December, 2007 at 11:15 am

    Please excuse the O/T. A friend just sent this to me to help my work day go by with some humor. I thought Wil and those who frequent his blog may enjoy this look at various types of geeks:
    http://www.yourpics2008.com/geeks.html

  49. Jabbertrack says:
    18 December, 2007 at 1:35 pm

    If I play too much Rock Band I get this thing where if I wake up in the middle of the night I have this vision of the goddamn note charts and I can’t get them out of my head. They could be sync’d to the rain outside… my dog snoring… anything. But ya… my brain is basically telling me that I need to stop playing that damn game so much.
    Screw you brain… DO YOU HATE FUN?!

  50. jdevanspa says:
    19 December, 2007 at 5:17 am

    Wil,
    I have to curse you. My son woke up this morning (20 months old) around 5. So I got him back into bed and couldn’t go back to sleep. Was thinking I could go work on a story. But no, I have to go to work in a little bit, I should go back to sleep. And then what pops into my head?
    “wanted, wanted, dead or alive”

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