breathe . . . breathe in the air

Posted on By Wil

Hey, want to have some fun?

Take a look at your nose. See how normally-sized it is? Pretty small and stuff, right? Maybe a few centimeters across?

This afternoon, my doctor pulled two plastic splints out of mine, each the about one-and-a-half times the size of a silver dollar and shape of a smashed penny (I just looked at them again, because he sterilized them so I could keep them as a souvenir) When he was done, I had this overwhelming compulsion to get my ass to Mars.

I instantly felt 100% better, and when he told me that I can resume all
my normal activities (albeit slowly, over several weeks) – including the glorious consumption of Guinness – I
thought I was going to cry with joy and relief.

I know that my doctor has lots of patients, and I know that taking care of all of us is his job, but throughout this entire process, from my first consultation to the removal of my splints this afternoon, he and his entire surgical team and office staff made me feel like I was his only one. I’m an extremely lucky, happy, and grateful guy. Who can finally breathe normally. Though his nose.

Huzzah!

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Comments (70)

  3. Hmm.. now you make me wanna have a Guinness!!!
    Very happy for ya, dude!
    When i sip of my guinness tonight, i will think of you – right up until the point where i have to swallow my first sip, and then I’ll think..:
    “Ahhh perfection!”
    Cheers.

  8. I want to know more about this putting food ON your children bit. Whenever I put food on my children my children manage to spread said food all over my walls and carpeting.
    Tell us if the taste of Guinness has changed…muahahahaha!

  9. This is your new mission should you choose to accept it.
    Go buy a glass of Macallan Cask Strength. Stick your nose deep into the glass and breathe deeply through your nose.
    Then cough up a lung.

  11. I enjoyed reading the accounts of the bodily fluids removed. Now, you’re ready for your CPAP. http://www.cpap.com/viewImage.php
    ?PNum=2645&Image=Opus-Pillow-Mask-
    Front.jpg
    Not only will it stop your snoring if you are diagnosed with OSA (obstructive sleep apnea) you can wear it on the trip to Mars! I love mine but it didn’t come with any sweet drugs.
    Guinness; It’s alive!

  12. On a gross note… well, not really any grosser that what’s already here… Isn’t amazing how much stuff can fit up your nose? My brother, when we were very young, used to like to “pack” stuff up his nose. One day he wasn’t breathing very well, so my mom took us to the emergency room – turns out he’d stuffed a huge amount of dried peas up there, thereby blocking his entire sinus cavity. Can you say, “child safety locks on every cupboard door”?

  14. Glad you are doing well. Sounds like the recovery sucks, but I’m sure it will be worth it. Breathing is important, after all.

  17. Good to hear all is going well now.
    Oh, and don’t forget – never trust a cabby even if he is a mutant and has five kids at home to feed – or was that four – or – oh hell.
    Jerry

  19. I had the same procedure done a few years ago and I can’t believe the difference it made. To breathe through my nose! What a wonderful thing! And I have to admit that the feeling I had when the doctor took the splints out was one of the most wonderful feelings in the world. It was like I could breath for the first time. Congratulations on the successful surgery and being able to breath through your nose!

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