In the spirit of Cat vs. Monkey . . .

Me: iTunes, play whatever you
want on random.

iTunes: Cool! Have some Isaac Hayes, followed by Yes!

Me: Maybe we need to talk about this…

iTunes: Hey, jerk, it was in YOUR library. Don’t blame me for getting creative.

Me: Let’s never fight again.

iTunes: Aww, I feel bad. Here, have
Zeppelin, then Wilco, and now Tool. Are we cool?

Me: Yeah, we’re cool.
Stop being so clingy. Sheesh.

iTunes: Clingy?! What do you mean? I’m not clingy! Here, have some back to back Skynyrd! See? I’m cool! I’m cool! Let’s hang out!

Me: Uh . . .

iTunes: Now have some Copeland!

Me: Copeland? After Skynyrd?

iTunes: Yep. Now enjoy some Sade.

Me: *blinks*

iTunes: My, my, we’re really learning at lot about you today, aren’t we?

Me: Hey! Anne put that in there.

iTunes: Oh, so you’re sharing me with someone else? Maybe she wants to hear . . . Gary Numan’s Cars?

Me: Actually, she put that in there, too.

iTunes: Well what about Uncle Tupelo? Is that you? Or is our whole relationship based on a lie?

Me: No, that was me. You’re starting to freak me out.

iTunes: Here, enjoy something soothing called Velvet Piano. What the hell is this? Did you download this from one of those retroblogs you read?

Me: How did you know about that?

iTunes: the SDK isn’t just for programmers, you know.

Me: Okay, I think it’s time for a playlist.

iTunes: No! No! Here’s Nine Inch Nails! You just bought that! You like Nine Inch Nails! And now Boingo! doesn’t it make you happy? Doesn’t it remind you of those halcyon days of youth?

Me: Now you’re just embarrassing yourself. I think we’re going to spend a little time away from each other.

iTunes: Wait!

Me: It’s not you, iTunes. It’s me.

iTunes: You’re going to listen to the Juno CD in the car, aren’t you?! I knew it!

Me: Okay, we need to stop.

iTunes: Why?

Me: The joke is wearing thin. This isn’t funny any more.

iTunes: I love you.

Me: *Force Quits iTunes*