In the spirit of Cat vs. Monkey . . .
Me: iTunes, play whatever you
want on random.
iTunes: Cool! Have some Isaac Hayes, followed by Yes!
Me: Maybe we need to talk about this…
iTunes: Hey, jerk, it was in YOUR library. Don’t blame me for getting creative.
Me: Let’s never fight again.
iTunes: Aww, I feel bad. Here, have
Zeppelin, then Wilco, and now Tool. Are we cool?
Me: Yeah, we’re cool.
Stop being so clingy. Sheesh.
iTunes: Clingy?! What do you mean? I’m not clingy! Here, have some back to back Skynyrd! See? I’m cool! I’m cool! Let’s hang out!
Me: Uh . . .
iTunes: Now have some Copeland!
Me: Copeland? After Skynyrd?
iTunes: Yep. Now enjoy some Sade.
Me: *blinks*
iTunes: My, my, we’re really learning at lot about you today, aren’t we?
Me: Hey! Anne put that in there.
iTunes: Oh, so you’re sharing me with someone else? Maybe she wants to hear . . . Gary Numan’s Cars?
Me: Actually, she put that in there, too.
iTunes: Well what about Uncle Tupelo? Is that you? Or is our whole relationship based on a lie?
Me: No, that was me. You’re starting to freak me out.
iTunes: Here, enjoy something soothing called Velvet Piano. What the hell is this? Did you download this from one of those retroblogs you read?
Me: How did you know about that?
iTunes: the SDK isn’t just for programmers, you know.
Me: Okay, I think it’s time for a playlist.
iTunes: No! No! Here’s Nine Inch Nails! You just bought that! You like Nine Inch Nails! And now Boingo! doesn’t it make you happy? Doesn’t it remind you of those halcyon days of youth?
Me: Now you’re just embarrassing yourself. I think we’re going to spend a little time away from each other.
iTunes: Wait!
Me: It’s not you, iTunes. It’s me.
iTunes: You’re going to listen to the Juno CD in the car, aren’t you?! I knew it!
Me: Okay, we need to stop.
iTunes: Why?
Me: The joke is wearing thin. This isn’t funny any more.
iTunes: I love you.
Me: *Force Quits iTunes*
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Musical whiplash FTW!
You were cracking me up with your twitter updates
ROFL!
Oddly enough, I have a similar experience with my (non-Apple) MP3 player almost every time I use it.
i have that same battle with Little Slugger(my iPod).
LOL…The last three times my boss walked in my office, my computer was playing Barry Manilow, then Air Supply, then Bon Jovi…I think my RealPlayer is trying to embarass me. (I swear I don’t know WHERE those came from).
Too funny Wil! Your person/inanimate object dialog is the best!
That shuffle awkwardly mashes together dissimilar songs is annoying but expected.
Now when it puts together two songs that belong together even though you never knew it, that’s when I’m taken aback.
Or, for the truly freaky moment, when it plays two songs which are marginally related by artist, theme, lyric or what have you.
LOL. You vs. iTunes is funny. And THANK YOU for linking to that post from Elizabeth Bear! Now I’m not only going to follow her blog but I’m carefully looking for hidden cameras because I think she’s spying on me — I’ve had that EXACT (I mean exact, right down to the wandering and crying because they can’t find me when I’m calling to them from the bedroom and the morning pestering.) exchange with my cats. Scary. I cried laughing. 🙂
Cheers!
That sounds about like my coworker’s playlist yesterday… it went from Tool, to the Mermen, to Devotchka, The Doors, Tom Petty, suddenly back to Tool, and then Heart (which was put in on his account as a joke, when we got our Barracuda firewall in…)…
No! No! Here’s Nine Inch Nails! You just bought that! You like Nine Inch Nails!
Now I’m having Labyrinth flashbacks, with iTunes as the old lady with the bear. Yes yes you like your iTunes…
That sounds strangely like the converations I have with my music players when I set them on random. Loreena McKennit followed by Five For Fighting, two Teisto tracks, Celtic Woman, Seasons of Love, Our Lady Peace, Bach, and the Worst Pies in London complete my most recent playlist.
None of which fit my mood.
Though I am going to sing Worst Pies next time they make me work a snackbar shift.
I laughed because that sounds about how it goes when I put iTunes on random.
You’re channeling Kurtzweil in this post.
Hey, what’s wrong with Yes?! You haven’t lived until you’ve tried dancing to their version of Simon & Garfunkel’s “America”…
Don’t read my blog! It’s only sometimes retro. Well ok I guess if I’m reading your blog then I can’t tell you not to read mine. Ah…
Hey, you need more Flogging Molly on your iPod! Yeah, that’s right.
My dialog is just about the same! Only instead of Sade it’s Hilary Duff. And it was added by my husband. Sad! When Hilary is followed by Floyd, I think the universe is going to explode. There’s no way those 2 should ever be near each other. I’ll take my Floyd, Rush, and Zeppelin and be perfectly happy.
That was the funniest shit I’ve read from you in a long, long time.
I have a theory that WinAmp is psychic. And no matter how many times I tell myself that really it’s just situational relevance, not actual divination–STILL CREEPY.
Hey Wil, I’m assuming the new NIN you bought was Ghosts I-IV. What do you think of the new distribution method?
At least iTunes was good enough to get the Led out.
Juno CD in the car?! Me, too. Actually, my daughter is obsessed by the Moldy Peaches and the last few tracks.
However, I find myself singing to myself . . .”I am a vampire. I am a vampire. I am a vampire. I have lost my fangs.”
Ah, the iTunes shuffle. There’s generally a reason I don’t let iTunes do the music choices for me: I know there’s some stuff in here that I really don’t want to hear, but I put it in back when I thought it was good.
What can I say, my iTunes collection is a 5 year old mess of music I’ve collected over the majority of my life.
nice! This was definitely good for some lolz…that chuckle of recognition.
lol! Oh yeah. I, for my part, am a serious music hoarder. I never put Winamp on shuffle, because Snoop Dogg and Les Miserable never go together.
So, was it Yes West or Yes East?
Personally, the more incongruous the sequence, the happier I am with shuffle mode. Give me John Zorn’s Naked City, followed by The 5th Dimension, followed by The Residents, followed by The Rutles, and I’m a happy boy!
So is that Aaron Copeland or Stewart Copeland?
And is listening to Boingo and Skynyrd conducive to quietly resting your reconstructed skull parts? I always get physical with most of their tunes…
(I know, nag, nag, nag, damn Internets)
sounds like the other week in the car when the station played Wings followed immediately by AC/DC. Hubby was like “first, yes people have had enough of silly love songs, thats why there hasn’t been a Wings reunion. Second, following that with AC/DC? that sound you hear is gears grinding…or the gnashing of teeth.”
Reading this totally made my day. An awesome way to start my day. I fight this battle with my iPod way too often.
Nine Inch Nails? Apparently, your Itunes would rather die than give you control.
Non-geek v. Itunes
Non-geek: Itunes-why do you download a new version of yourself almost every single time I open you?
Itunes: Shut-up, I’m busy.
Teh End.
My iPod just played Der Guten Tag Clop-Hop from The Producers right after playing What Would You Do? from Cabaret (I have 6000+ songs on here, maybe 100 from musicals), and it actually made my brain freeze for a moment, going from a song about the anguish of a woman faced with losing everything because she loves a Jew to a celebration of ‘Da Fuhrer’s favourite dance!’
iTunes does seem to become frighteningly self-aware sometimes. It’s kind of creepy.
Thanks, Wil. I needed a good laugh at the moment. 😀
I read “It’s not you, iTunes. It’s me”, and all I could think was, “I met Jimmy Kimmel’s cousin…”. 😉
Wow, Wil. Your iTunes sounds like the garbage lady in Labyrinth.
I’ve had even more heated discussions with my player when It insists on including Audio Book chapters in the full random….
-Jason
Wil’s Twitter as a dynamic PNG:
http://twitsig.com/WilW.png
hee! That was such a fun post.
Thanks for giving me a great giggle to start the day with.
Wil has Yes on his iPod.
If he wasn’t already at the top of my list of Favorite Trek Actors, Bloggers, Poker Players and All-Around Supercool Guys, he is now.
Yes rules. And is going on tour this summer, so watch your local concert listings!
Am I the only one who likes it when the mp3 player juxtaposes the weird and completely different songs chosen by my multiple personalities? Andy Kim soooo goes with Finger Eleven… And Yes definitely pairs up to Big & Rich. I’m sure of it.
OK… this one was so good I had to create an account to respond!
Just imagine how it would be if Wil lived at my house… in addition to my husband’s Yes and my guilty pleasures (that can go without being named), our iTunes also has music on it for our 3 year old… Raffi, The Wiggles, etc. Add in some ripped audio books, and you have a huge mess!
Now all you need on there is a little techno polka and you’re all set.
Wil- if it was Aaron Copeland and your wife added that to your list with Gary Numan’s Cars, then she has my own somewhat eclectic taste in music. Though I do doubt that I’d play one right after the other. Ick.
You missed the last line:
iTunes: *force restarts*
(:
I’m quite proud of my iTunes when I hear Enya followed by Adam Ant, followed by Riverdance, followed by Janice Joplin….
“And now Boingo! doesn’t it make you happy? Doesn’t it remind you of those halcyon days of youth?”
Yes! I live in Minnesota now, where wayyyyyy too many people have no idea that Oingo Boingo is NOT an obscure two-hit-wonder.
Having gone from:
Yo-Yo Ma -> Flogging Molly -> NiN -> Abney Park -> Yoko Kanno -> Red Elvises -> Mozart Requiem -> Lyle Lovett….
I stopped using Random. My brain hurt to much.
The first rule of iTunes is to never speak with iTunes.
The second rule of iTunes is to never speak with iTunes.
Wait until you clean all the old junk out of it and then realize that what’s left goes well together in shuffle. I had to stop writing down the order in which it would shuffle because I was making too many playlists out of the lists. Now I just let ‘er go. And if I listen to music right before bed, my dreams get really crazy. (which = excellent writing material)
Hehe, that was tres amusing. More please.
Loved this. I have about a million playlists because I have realized that putting my entire library on shuffle leads to problematic situations such as the one described above.
I love your blog, btw. Never commented because I was too lazy to make an account (yes, I’m really that lazy), but it’s always a joy to read :).
I think it’s time for a geek fight!
I can only use playlists… it’s one thing when iTunes is shuffing between Barry Manilow and Metallica, but my library has things as diverse as Tibetan chant, Carmina Burana, and Violent Femmes.
I group my playlists by mood:
energy, light, yell, etc.
It works pretty good for me, especially since I put the same song or album on multiple lists.