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i put on my robe and wizard world

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On Friday, I went down to the convention center to check out Wizard World Los Angeles.  It was only my second real trip out of the house — all by myself, in my big boy pants and everything — in almost two months, so I was very excited.

It’s the first Wizard World I’ve been to, but I understand from people who’ve been going for years that this one was very small compared to past conventions. Personally, I thought it was very small compared to just about anything. Seriously, the entire con floor felt smaller than the room they had the Futurama panel in at Comicon last year.

The small size of the thing, however, worked to my advantage. I’m still working my way up to full strength, so I was able to take my time and see all the nerdy stuff I wanted to see without feeling like I was going to miss anything. Or, actually, missing anything at all.

I saw some cool toys, decided that I don’t have the "fuck you money" for any of the Transformers I wanted, and was surprisingly restrained in my spending. I bought a few comics and a couple of T-shirts for myself, a T-shirt for Nolan, and was — finally — able to support one of my favorite comics in the universe when I met David Malki !, creator of Wondermark, and traded him shiny gold rocks for a book and a T-shirt. He was very humble and gracious, and I hope I didn’t slime him too much with my effusive praise. (For those of you keeping score, I just need to meet Jeph Jacques from Questionable Content and Randal Munroe from xkcd to complete the list of awesome people I want to give shiny gold rocks to and slime with effusive praise one day.)

I fell like a name-dropping dick, but I was really happy to finally meet Ariana Osborne and Matt Fraction in person. Warren Ellis introduced me to them last year, and though we’ve spent lots of time talking on the Internets, I’ve never been in the same physical place as them until Friday. I spent most of my day at Wizard World getting to know Matt, because it turns out we have a lot in common. Ariana was working with Avatar Press, so she could only break away for a few minutes to have coffee with us, but Matt grabbed a hawesome picture of us both to prove that we were all in the same place at the same time.

The best moment of the entire day for me happened about thirty minutes after I went inside.

I thought that it would be quick and easy to buy my badge at the door, because it was Friday and there wouldn’t be that many people there. Apparently, about 300 other people thought the same thing, and we all got to spend about 40 minutes waiting in various queues while a group of Stormtroopers formed a thin white line which separated all of us nerds from certain chaos. After I paid cash for my badge (much shorter line than plastic) I met up with Matt and we headed in.

Matt had an exhibitor badge, and when he attempted to show it to the security guard who was checking badges at the gate, she freaked out at him for not having it in a holder. I waited while Matt went to get a plastic holder, and she freaked out twice as hard at me for holding up her line (I wasn’t. We con-going nerds are skilled in the ways of navigating around the guy who has stopped for a few seconds for one reason or another.)

Matt came back with his badge in a plastic holder, which he attached to his clothes to meet the security guard’s satisfacton, and we went inside.

About thirty minutes later, we met up with Ariana, and the three of us decided to head off the con floor to grab coffee at a nearby Starbucks. When we were about eight steps past the officious security guard, I reached up for my badge, which I’d pinned to my T-shirt’s collar, so I could write my name on it.

It wasn’t there.

I looked all around my jacket, checked all of my pockets several times, and had to accept that it had fallen off somewhere inside the con floor. Because I’d paid cash, I had no receipt. Because I hadn’t written my name on it, yet, I had no way of proving that I’d lost anything.

I sheepishly revealed all of this to Matt and Ariana while I was whirling around like a dervish, patting my pockets and shaking out my jacket, looking like that guy down the hallway in Jacob’s Ladder.

We decided that we would just use The Force on the security lady when it was time to go back in. If she stopped us and didn’t accept my explaination about losing my badge, I’d just go buy another one and chalk the expense up to me being stupid.

Although, I have to say: what the fuck is Wizard World thinking giving attendees little plastic sleeves with a safety pin attached to hold their badges? Was the thousand year-old tradition of putting badges on lanyards around your fucking neck just not time-tested enough for them? Maybe next year they’ll party like it’s 1979 and spring for something a little more durable.

So, we’d sat down and talked for a little bit, we headed back into the con together. We walked in an inverted phalanx, Matt and Ariana flanking me. We walked with purpose. We walked like we had somewhere to be, and didn’t have time to waste on the quaint practice of flashing our plastic-sheathed badges.

I don’t know how, but we pulled it off. Security Lady even smiled at us as we passed.

Badges? Badges!?  We don’t need no stinking badges!

I’m glad I went, and I had a really good time. I don’t know why it’s so much smaller this year than it’s been in the past, but we’ve already lost GenCon SoCal to mismanagement, and I sure hope Wizard World Los Angeles grows in the future and is successful enough to afford lanyards for attendees.

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17 March, 2008 Wil

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2008 Convention Schedule → ← and now, little green bag

22 thoughts on “i put on my robe and wizard world”

  1. Alicia says:
    17 March, 2008 at 4:47 pm

    “…I fell like a name-dropping dick…”
    That’s gotta hurt…
    -Alicia
    [email protected]
    http://www.thewagband.com

  2. Wil says:
    17 March, 2008 at 4:56 pm

    Argh! Feel! Feel! I meant to write “Feel!”
    See, this is how we know the line between me and losing a badge isn’t that long.

  3. Alicia says:
    17 March, 2008 at 5:15 pm

    LOL I know what you meant to write. That was a funny faux pas, you must admit. 🙂
    -Alicia
    [email protected]
    http://www.thewagband.com

  4. szark says:
    17 March, 2008 at 5:48 pm

    Ah, yes. I’ve found The Force very useful at past conventions.
    Speaking of conventions, I think you should try to make it out to WillyCon one of these years. 😉

  5. Samurai Avon Lady says:
    17 March, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    Yikes! I help organize and run conferences and conventions for a living… and even our most er, budget-sensitive clients still get badges with little elastic lanyards. We even have combination badgeholders – that have a bulldog clip, a pin, and a little elastic lanyard, so people can choose how to attach them.
    I’ll bet Wizard World saved four bucks on their badgeholders, though!

  6. Coppervale says:
    17 March, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    Ariana is in the pole position for Coolest Webtech Living.
    There have been days when she was solely responsible for LOWERING my blood pressure.
    James

  7. angie k says:
    17 March, 2008 at 9:51 pm

    Sounds like it was an awesome time! 🙂 Makes me wish I had a con to go to in the near future.

  8. JennyW says:
    17 March, 2008 at 10:10 pm

    I do find that when you walk authoritatively and look like you’re supposed to be going where you are going, no one bats an eye. Way to go, Wil!

  9. simbeau says:
    17 March, 2008 at 11:26 pm

    As much as I respect you for deciding to pay your way in I feel I must point out the fact that you were WESLEY FRAKING CRUSHER. They should have paid you for being there.
    Oh, did you see they’re making a TRON 3D?

  10. Berimon says:
    17 March, 2008 at 11:50 pm

    Really, you should realize this: Lanyards aren’t to be given away…. they are souvenirs, and thus should be sold like everything else.
    No doubt they have some out of the way “shop” selling them and everything else with a wizard world logo on it. At least that’s where they were on my last trip to GenCon and WizardWorld.
    Capitalism FTW?

  11. Wayne Zachary says:
    18 March, 2008 at 4:35 am

    Good to hear you have your convention legs back,and your sure can move em’ fast too. When Molly and I were on our way to the area your were going to be speaking in the Las Vegas Hilton last year , we were in one of the main hallways and I felt a breeze and just a slight glimpse of someone speed walking past. “Look! It’s Wil!” Molly exclaimed. I tried to catch up to you but was already dining on your dust at the time. By the time we got into the small room it was nearly packed and Molly and I had to sit on the side. fortunately enough for us it was near the side you were chilling at as the video presentation was ending. I noticed you then as your head turned and I cheered and clapped like a buffoon to which you put your finger to you lips and and said “Shhhhh!!!” So I complied , because, “The Wil” was getting ready to speak. We listened to you read your review of “Haven” and “Blue Light Special” Then we all lined up for autographs. We mad small talk with some guy behind us, but we couldn’t care less what he had to say. The line slowly grew shorter and shorter and before we knew it we were next in line . The person ahead of us moved on and we stepped up to see you. We slimed you with our praise and traded our shiny gold rocks for one of your books. I managed to make Molly blush by referring to your “Haven” review which I will now continue the grand tradition that brings me such a sick pleasure.
    *Removes Dark Side of the Moon hat and drops it*
    “Your welcome Molly”
    😉

  12. BrainMc says:
    18 March, 2008 at 6:32 am

    Totally rockin’ the Wolverine look in the pic.

  13. thefile says:
    18 March, 2008 at 7:42 am

    I’ll be meeting Randal Munroe from xkcd at Penguicon next month. [gloat]

  14. Thane9 says:
    18 March, 2008 at 8:10 am

    UGH! Thanks a lot Wil, now that I’ve been reminded about Wondermark I’m stuck killing time reading the ones I missed since the last time I’ve been there.
    Boss: “So what’s that you’re working on?”
    Me: “This isn’t the employee you’re looking for; move along.”
    DC25…man I should’ve invested more in my Force Suggestion skill.

  15. Robin Dahlberg says:
    18 March, 2008 at 10:07 am

    Wil, I went to the photo of you and Ariana on Whitechapel, read all the comments, and really, really, wanted to post this:

    But I’m not a member, so I’ll post it here instead of that’s OK 🙂
    (in re: This! is! Starbucks!)

  16. scyllacat says:
    18 March, 2008 at 11:11 am

    Hey, Wil, followed over here from Twitter. (Celebrity you, thousands of followers, can’t tell ’em apart without a program, right? 🙂 Just wanted to say, I’ve been hearing how cool you are from all the other gen-X thirty-something geeks out there (and in here, although there are fewer on the inside), and I dunno, you give me warm fuzzy feelings. I like your writing, you sound like me, it’s good enough for internet-camaraderie.
    I have never gotten to meet you In Person because Dragon*Con is apparently not on your list. But all us old-timers at D*C know that if you want the badge that you can lanyard and doesn’t get lost, you have to pre-reg. The door badges are always the cheap ones. On the other hand, Wil, ID Lanyards are used all over the world now, in real businesses and everything. Invest in one, and feel secure.
    And if you ever DO get to D*C, drop by the Consuite (the hospitality suite for hoi polloi–YOU’d get to go to the Green Room)– I’ll be there.

  17. Jody says:
    18 March, 2008 at 11:37 am

    ‘Twas my first time at Wizard World and, really, my first main-stream convention in a gazillion years. I zipped on down though because, for the first time, I was PRESS. If I’d have known that I could go to these things for free, I’d have launched a website sooner.

  18. idiosynchronic says:
    18 March, 2008 at 6:04 pm

    Bwaahahahaha!
    Another toon drawer you should get to know, gang. Especially after she captured Scruffy Wil 2 weeks before he had been unleashed upon the world.

  19. i_bleed_magenta says:
    19 March, 2008 at 8:04 am

    i lost my badge at the NY comic con last year, and luckily we weren’t leaving the floor until we were readyt o go home, so it wasn’t a big deal. but now when i’m at FanExpo i bring my own lanyard!

  20. featcovers says:
    19 March, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    In a previous century I was in a one-off band called The Stinking Badges. We played some punk and some Zappa at a jazz club and scared the patrons, I remember. Some of them moved from the front of the club to the back. It was talked about for ages in our small town of Hartlepool, in North East England.

  21. boo says:
    20 March, 2008 at 5:58 am

    Hey Wil…don’t know if you’ve gotten this far down this late but you can realize your perfect dream! Both Jeph Jacques and Randal Munroe will be at ConBust this year. You know…because a week’s notice is plenty of time to pick up and fly off to Massachusetts. 🙂

  22. wolfger says:
    22 March, 2008 at 8:27 am

    I understand Randal Munroe “doesn’t do cons”… but he will be at Penguicon next month. Maybe you should hop a plane (in your big boy pants, please) and come meet him 🙂

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