184 thoughts on “bring on the night . . . and the assholes”

1. You got that right, Wil – it’s why I don’t go to concerts anymore. Unless you get lucky, someone around you will ruin the concert experience. It’s truly pathetic, but all you can do is stay home and watch concert DVDs.

2. Sadly, that has become such a hallmark of the concert experience these days. When I went to see Billy Joel back in Feburary, we had no stoners, but I was surrounded by a few cell phones. I had mine, but was decent enough to SHUT IT OFF. I wanted to just grab all of theirs and tell them: “You may have these back when the show is over.”

3. You have it so right! I saw Sting and Annie Lennox a few years ago at the Bowl and got lucky that there weren’t wasted people around me but before the show and during (like a bathroom break) the “older” people were pissed drunk! So embarrassing. These people looked and dressed well but somehow it’s like they thought, “I make lots of money. I’m gonna get fucked up!”
   I was disgusted. I mean…It was supposed to be a pleasant Sting concert!
   I am seeing Robert Plant and Alison Kraus in a few weeks and if that nonsense continues there, I’m gonna say something. Screw it. They’re not gonna ruin my night with Robert Plant!

4. Sorry to read you had to endure the jerks at the concert. The stoners I can understand but assholes like cellphone-lady still mystify me. Why pay so much for a ticket and then not sit back and enjoy the experience? Still, the tendency for asshole behaviour is not confined to old-timers. I’ve heard tales of older concert-goers getting grief from ‘kids’ (ie late teens/early 20s) for being “too old to go to a Killers concert”. I’m not talking about friendly banter but outright hassle.

5. That sucks so much I’m pissed off at that chick too. I cannot comprehend people who have absolutely no consideration for others at events like that. Or at the movies. Or in a restaurant. Or driving their cars. It just boggles.
   My daughter and I flew from Nebraska to San Jose and the first thing we were going to do there was take her to her very first Big Concert (Depeche at Shoreline Amphitheater.) Was a great time until toward the end when the poor kiddo got tuckered and curled up by my feet. Enter a very stoned hippie chick who kept stepping on my kid while doing something that may have resembled dancing (if you’re on acid, which she probably was.)
   We kept telling her to watch out and back off but she kept doing it until finally I’d had it. I grabbed her firmly and steered her through the crowd about 30 feet away from us and left her there. She didn’t kick up a fuss either. Just went with me. By the time I got back to my daughter (and friends who had stayed with her) Depeche was done and I’d missed the last 5 or 6 songs dealing with this idiot.
   This was in 2001 and I haven’t been to a concert since.

6. A friend and I had almost the same experience at a Police concert in Seattle – except (being brave), my friend scooted over to security and complained. Rather than kick out the offender which might have ended in a scene, they found a different spot for us to sit. I’m not always a huge fan of event security, but they were pretty cool and levelheaded in that case. We only really missed part of one song.

7. Some people’s sense of entitlement is amazing. Add the inability to discern what’s public and private space, and you get people like that woman.
   If only ‘Wil Says… Don’t be a dick’ came on rolls of gaffers tape, to be used to shut people’s mouths… damn, that’d be useful.

8. “well I paid $70!” as if that makes it alright….? OMG I feel your pain!

9. Unfortunately, your experience is all too frequent at live events today. This is why I do not attend any live events with large crowds; concerts, sports games, etc… If it’s not the cell phone, it’s people cursing or drunk or stoned or more than likely all of the above at once.
   Best to just buy or Netflix DVDs of the event and make an evening of it for you and your friends. It’s not the same thing, but it in some ways is better, esp. if you can share it with people who are into the performance or event as much as you are.

10. Oh brother!
    (Sorry, that’s all I can think of to say. I’m appalled.)

11. Wow that is really a shame

12. You think that’s bad? Try seeing Dylan these days. My in-laws took us — front-and-center because they are very serious Dylan fans — and the bitchiness of pretty much the entire audience was just profoundly depressing.
    I just can’t bring myself to spend that kind of money for tickets anymore. Which sucks because I really would like to see the Police…but I just can’t do it for fear of an experience exactly like what you just illustrated.
    People are inconsiderate assholes. I blame the internet.

13. I was in this little fifty-seat theater to see some buddies in a veeeery dramatic play and some lady brought in a bag of Carls Jr. Ten minutes into the show, she opened it up and neither naked actors practically in her lap nor tearful monologues about rape and incest kept that lady from eating her hamburger and rattling around for every last fry.
    It’s like people forgot the difference between “live” and “television”…

14. My wife and I tend to avoid concerts nowadays just for this reason, which is pretty sad. We have been going to a fair number of outdoor concerts at Chateau St. Michelle winery which is near our house; we saw Elvis C. and Allen Toussaint there last year, and people like Chris Isaak and Harry Connick. The winery is in a pretty upscale suburb of Seattle, and you have to figure that given the entrance fee people would show *some* respect for the artist and the people around them. But noooooo…
    Back in the 70s when people would do stupid crap at concerts I cut them some slack because they were young and drink and it was Ted Nugent after all, and the tickets were $7.50 :).
    I think the bottom line is that it’s too easy for people who aren’t there for the music to ruin it for people who are, and that sucks.

15. I avoid concerts and movies for the same reasons. I no longer go to the movies on opening night and matinée showings contain fewer dicks. But it takes away from the awesome excited-crowd experience, you know?
    I’ve gotten to the point where, if I see/hear someone with a cell phone during a movie, I just loudly say “turn off your cell phone” – everyone turns to look at the person and they’re usually mortified and stop immediately. But as you note, it’s not as easy to pull that same thing on a drunk at a concert!
    If people would just learn some cell phone etiquette this country would be a much better place to live.

16. I have that same experience every time I go to the movies. I always get that ass behind me who insists on kicking the back of my chair to whole night and if I do say something, they kick harder. Either that or for some reason they talk on their cell phone. Why do people do that. What a waste of money.

17. I feel your pain! We rarely go to concerts anymore for this reason. I was so excited a couple of years ago to go to one of the BNL Peepshow concerts (very small venue with them playing two sets) and had it ruined by what could have only been the brother of the lady that was sitting behind you, coupled with the tallest people in the world in front of us. We were only ~10 rows from the front but couldn’t see the band all night because it was an opera house, ie not meant for standing. Sigh!
    We’re going to be seeing Big Bad Voodoo Daddy in a tiny theatre with table seating this weekend. Wish us luck!!!

18. Ungh. The last indoor concert I went to (at the Crystal Ballroom, PDX), the people near me were speaking so loudly that I could hear them over the music while wearing my earplugs. Just standing around and talking.
    Last weekend the boyfriend I and I drove 3.5 hours to Bend to see Death Cab for Cutie, et al, and had the same problem there, and that was an outdoor event. There were tons of people smoking pot. There were people sleeping near us who looked annoyed any time someone walked around their 400sq ft plastic-sheeted spot.
    Now I feel 80, and I’m not yet 30. Where can I go to just *enjoy* the music and not pay an extra 30-60% on top of ticket prices for so-called ‘convenience fees’?

19. I said something along these lines in response to your tweet, but I think that it’s at least partly to do with concerts becoming the new ‘event’. People don’t go becuase they’re fans of the band, they go becuase they’re event whores.
    I’ve noticed it most here in Australia at the Big Day Out. When the lifestyle section of newspapers strated running features on which multiu-hundred dollar singlet-tops and pairs of cowboy boots you should wear to the festival, I really started to become cynical. And once there, there are so many asshats who don’t even know who half of the bands are.
    Real music fans lose out in two ways – they either can’t get tickets becuase all the people going for the ‘event’ snatch them up first, or they do get tickets and have to suffer through people like annoying phone woman.
    And don’t get me started on cockspanks who feel the need to scream out during the quiet parts of ballads.

20. It never ceases to amaze me. Last year I went to see the Australian Pink Floyd – awesome show, apart from the four assholes behind me trying to out-shout each other. They escaped certain death only because they managed to shut up for ten minutes while the APF played “Sorrow”.
    Thankfully, I don’t get the assholes kicking the chair much, and if they do all I have to do is turn around and stand up – it helps when you are a good 8 inches taller than them (including baseball cap!)and out-weight them by about 100lbs. 🙂

21. Same thing happened when I took my 13 y/o son to see a concert at the Pacific Amphitheater. The couple in front of us came in late and insisted on standing on his chair (everybody else was sitting down at this point) so he could yell into his cell phone while waving to somebody further down. He continued being an ass even after I and about a half dozen others yelled at him to sit down. I even went so far as to not-so-gently thwack his arm to get his attention to tell him to shut the fuck up.
    He seemed more interested in yelling into his phone than being at that concert.
    Fortunately I’ve had nothing but great experiences at the 2 Dave Matthews concerts that I’ve attended. Maybe it’s the demographics.
    Damn, just thinking about that prick brings back the anger.

22. There are some recordings of old Mike Doughty solo shows where, between songs, he says things to the noisy-ass audience like “Did you know there are bars where you don’t have to pay twelve dollars to come inside and talk bullshit?” For this and many other reasons, he is to be respected (but you already knew that).

23. Hey Wil,
    Sorry to hear that a bunch of other people ruined the experience for you.
    As a counterpoint, I’ll just mention that I saw X at the Metro in Chicago a couple of months ago, and while the age demographics were probably about the same, (average age prolly mid-40s) I have no recollection of any inconsiderate douchebags.
    Not sure if it’s a comment on the audience (aging punk-rockers vs. aging new-wavers), bands (X does tend to rock out slightly harder than Elvis or the Police) or venue (small/SRO vs. large/assigned seats).

24. Let’s just call this what it actually is, k?
    It’s teh fsckin baby boomers, Wil… They were acting ignorant in 1977 (not to mention ’67 ’87 & ’97) and they’re just as bad now.
    The ones on stage might be terribly cool, it’s LOTS of the rest of them that feel all entitled to ruin your night with their bad behavior!
    (Or your country, in Hillary’s case…)
    I’m an American in Holland, and I go to more concerts than most. While LOTS of us puff up at shows here, this kind of stupid behavior is pretty rare!

25. I tried to respond directly to your tweet about this, but you’re not following me 🙁 [Bad Twitter.]
    Anyway….
    I’m sorry your experience was tainted. The last time I saw Sting & Co. was in 1991 at Red Rocks for the Soul Cages tour and it was absolutely awesome sans obnoxious jerks.

26. I really appreciate the bands (thinking of the Spankers, but others have done it) who call people out when they’re being rude and ruining the show for the folks around them. I’ve even seen the Spankers stop mid-song to ask particularly loud people to be quiet or take it outside.
    Don’t have those problems when I go to the movies, but that’s because the Alamo Drafthouse is more than willing to toss people out for being loud and rude. (When the intro card says, “Don’t talk during the movie and turn off your cell phones OR WE’LL TAKE YOUR ASS OUT,” the message doesn’t leave much ambiguity.)

27. The sad thing is that people pay the money not because of the artists, but because it’s just a social outting for them like going to a club or bar (which they will probably pay as much money to do anyway). I went to a Rascal Flatts (Taylor Swift) concert about a month ago in San Jose and we got the tickets right when they went on sale, so they were pretty good seats. First row of the 1st level above the floor in the arena. Most of the experience was good until about the last 3 songs when these two teenage nitwits thought it would be cool to try and jump the wall and sneak onto the floor to hook up with some girls, but security was keeping a tight watch, so they just keep standing there right in front of my view acting drunk and stupid. I was so ticked. The only reason I didn’t confront them is because I’m only 5’9 and 125 lbs. and I didn’t wanna get my butt kicked.

28. I hate to say it, but there have always been assholes at concerts. I think, at least for me, my tolerance for them is less.
    I remember 18 years ago, I went to a Jethro Tull concert, and there was this really drunk guy standing on his chair the whole time, right in front, acting like he was directing the show, waving his arms around like an idiot. Everyone I was with laughed at him the entire time.
    Last year, at an Australian Pink Floyd Show concert, we saw exactly the same thing, only this time we were not laughing. It was the most annoying distraction throughout the show.
    Now, with cell phones and the like, there are new ways to be annoying. Hell, I was at the movies with my wife watching Iron Man a week or so ago, and there was this thirteen year old girl sitting in the seat next to me, texting the whole time. I wanted to grab her phone a throw it, but I didn’t.
    Man, I’m getting old.

29. [Posted by Heath]”And don’t get me started on cockspanks who feel the need to scream out during the quiet parts of ballads.”
    I think I just found a new favourite word.

30. I don’t understand it myself, but there seems to be a whole cult of people, whose primary goal, to visit such events, is to do the above.
    It’s the same with movie theaters – why go there and pay, just to stand on the seat and scream or throw stuff around, for no apparent reason?
    This makes only sense to me, if these people _don’t_ go there to see the movie in the first place.
    It’s just sad. Wherever some people come together to just have some fun, others start to think of ways to spoil it.

31. Two words… Pepper Spray

32. It’s things like this that makes me swear off public experiences unless the crowd is *very* tightly controlled by either ticket price or by niche interest.
    I think I know why people our age are asshats, there’s a lot of fundamentally unhappy people in our demo who have no idea how to deal with it.

33. Wil, I completely sympathize. I’ve had slightly better luck in my limited concert experience, but I have an abysmal track record at the movie theater. I swear, I cannot see a movie without either assholes flanking me, children bumping the seat behind me, or morons cackling at inappropriate moments. My recent trip to see Iron Man is quite possibly one of the first times I’ve had a peaceful moviegoing experience.
    I don’t understand how it’s such a difficult thing, to not be a dick at public events.

34. Stupid people suck. Especially when you are trying to listen to music. For the next time, consider saying: “young lady, that’s no way to behave at a rock and roll concert!” It’s effective, oddly enough.

35. In an interview with Gene Simmons (of KISS fame), they asked him why his shows were so visually oriented when glam rock was essentially dead.
    His response was that modern technology made for such a better listening experience that you’d actually get better music by staying home and listening to the CD. And so, he had to make up for that with visual elements.
    I suppose the same is true for the social experience. When you stay home and listen to the CD, you also get to choose who listens with you.
    I suppose that, today, the best concert experience would be one you see on DVD. Better sound. Better people. No assholes.

36. It sucks, but those are the same reasons I don’t like going to concerts anymore either. I went a lot in my youth, but I just can’t afford to spend $70+ a ticket to deal with a**holes like that.

37. I go to a lot of concerts, and MOSTLY people are okay…the Dodger Stadium show when the Police first launched this new tour, for example, was surprisingly awesome despite the huge venue. Maybe it was because people didn’t think they’d ever tour again, so they behaved…but now they keep on tourin’ 😛
    I do, however, remember a Pink Floyd concert a while back where there were loud drunk assholes right behind me, shouting in my ear, louder than the band the entire time, and to top it all off they spilled a drink on me…grr.

38. I feel your pain. We just went to see Love in Las Vegas and some very drunk guys came in about 20 minutes late, sat right next to us, and really disrupted our experience. Rose complained afterwards and we got comped $70 buffet tickets, but it didn’t make up for the show. Sadly, I think security was your only way out on this one. That, or you could have taken her photo and posted it here for us to mock mercelessly. 🙂
    On the positive side, you got a story out of it–one that elicits a real emotion: rage.

39. yikes. i woulda grabbed that lady by her hair, yanked her neck back and stuffed the cell phone down her throat. but – i’m like – a pacifist.

40. Same thing happened to me when I saw Tony Bennett. A woman who was totally smashed (even fell down the isle on the way to her seat) was obnoxiously loud through the entire show. I feel your pain Wil.

41. Todd, mid-40s ain’t baby boomer – it’s the upper edge of Generation X (which is where I fall, though slightly younger). But I do think it has something to do with a sense of entitlement that far too many people seem to have, coupled with the belief that behavior which might gotten them a pass when they were younger (and everyone was as young and stupid as they were) is still cute – in their eyes, at least. Plus people of a certain age who are still trying to hang onto their sadly gone youths will drink as if they’re still 19 and their body chemistry hasn’t changed in the intervening years. Which, as this 42 year old can attest, is definitely not the case.
    Wil, I haven’t been to the Bowl in a long time, but sure there’s got to be some sort of usher type person in the $60/$70 seat areas that can kick out assholes like that. I’d sure hunt one down. But, as I’ve gotten older, my patience for such ass-hattery has completely disappeared.
    At least you got to watch Elvis Costello uninterrupted. I mean, Elvis and Sting singing “Alison”? As that was my ringtone for three years, you can imagine how nuts I would have gone over that. And a Theremin! I love Theremins!
    *sigh*

42. I feel like I almost get in a fight every time I go to a concert.
    The worst was when I showed up hours early to be near the front at a highly anticipated show, then had to go pee, and then all of the paranoid dicks at the concert wouldn’t let me through. (I’m 5’2″. Even if I WERE just trying to push up, whose view am I going to obstruct??)
    Next time I’ll just wear a skirt and let them have fun wading through puddles of my urine.
    Fuck assholes. Next time, you need to hire a vendor to sit out front and sell “Wil Says, Don’t be a dick!” shirts. Keep a few with you, sell them from your seat.
    “*gesturing at shirt design* Wil Says, ‘Don’t be a Dick.’ You see that face? That’s me. I’m Wil. Now stop being a dick.”

43. I wonder if when we were kids, saving up for that concert ticket to the band we adored led us to stand there in worshipful bliss during the concert. Now as adults, parents even, when we get that coveted night out and have spent our hard earned cash on the tix, we (and by we I mean them) feel entitled to act like what we *think* is a young person having fun, but in reality is a drunken asshole. You have every right to be right fucking pissed.

44. Hey, quit hatin’ on the stoners. They are people with feelings just like you and I. I know quite a few who I’m sure you’d like just fine and never even realize that they partook or had partaken.
    Drunks OTOH, can be serious asshats. Nobody gets stoned and beats their wife and kids.

45. Hell is other people.

46. I’m not judging people who are stoners, Rant93.
    I’m talking about annoying dickwads who drank and smoked without a break through the entire show, without regard to the people around them. As they became more intoxicated, they became more annoying. I’m sure they didn’t realize how annoying they were, because they were thoroughly fucked up, and lost in their own little fucked up bubble.
    Even though I’m not interested in smoking myself ,I don’t care if people want to smoke pot, but when we’re all forced to share the same small space, smoking *anything* is just fucking rude.

47. The last stadium concert I went to was Dave Matthews.
    Some stupid druken ***t behind me started slapping me in the head because apparently she was too drunk to realize that that hard surface her hands kept hitting was MY FUCKING HEAD. Even after I asked nicely. And not so nicely.
    Then I exploded, and of course it was all my fault according to her posse. Uh no, I’m here for the music, thanks, not my fault you’re a bunch of drunken idiots.
    Never ever ever again.

48. Funny that Stephen Pace mentioned it. I totally wanted to take a picture of that inconsiderate bitch for posting and mockery. I also quoted Sartre’s “Hell is other people.” It’s like these people were all there, right inside my head.
    As I said last night, I go to a LOT of concerts. Live music is one of the things in this world that makes me truly happy. That’s why I get so angry when obnoxious fuckers like this ruin it for those around them. Several of the noters above said something akin to, “That’s why I don’t go to concerts anymore.” I hate the idea of douchebags depriving me of enjoyable live shows. There’s got to be some way to get them to behave properly, rather than simply capitulating and letting them take away something that I love.

49. Oddly, my sister and were talking about this kind of bad audience experience yesterday. And we find, no matter how obnoxious that other person is being, that it’s really hard for us to confront that for spoiling the concert/play/etc for the rest of us. Maybe mamma raised her girls up *too* politely. Kudos, Wil, for at least making the attempt. I bet many fellow non-dicks in the audience appreciated the effort.

50. You’re so totally right! I saw Morissey there about this time last year and we fortunately didn’t have a problem. Why? Because from my experience, the real fans sit in the back. The “entitled” ones that feel it’s their right to act like jackasses sit in front (someone above said “event whores”… I think that’s the perfect description).
    People who can’t afford the good seats usually are there for the music only, not looking cool or getting wasted. Ultimately this sucks for the real fans that CAN afford to sit closer, but Moz sounded great from the back. I couldn’t see him as well, but I HEARD him.
    PS. My rule for calling people while at concerts? You don’t speak. They already know where you are, just hold the phone up and let them listen for a bit. That’s all they care about anyway.

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