So apparently Jerry O’Connell was on the Howard Stern Show this morning, and claimed that I bullied him when we made Stand By Me.
I haven’t heard the interview, so I don’t have
context beyond, "Hey, Jerry says you bullied him when you made that
movie," and normally, I’d just laugh this sort of thing off because it’s entirely untrue, but I’m a little sensitive to being misrepresented, especially on a show like Stern where there are eleventy million listeners.
So.
This isn’t true, and you’ll shortly see why it’s so important to me to set the record straight.
Keep in mind that Jerry was 10 or 11 when we shot Stand By Me, and I was 12, so neither one of us is the most reliable narrator in the world about events that are nearly 25 years in the past, but my memory on this particular issue is crystal clear: River and Corey really picked on Jerry and me, because I was the nerd and he was the fat kid. It wasn’t constant — River and I were pretty good friends for most of the production and remained that way for years after — and I’m sure there were moments when all of us formed temporary alliances because that’s what pre-teen boys do when they’re in any social situation like we were, but I never bullied Jerry or anyone else.
I know this to be an unimpeachable fact because I’ve only been a serious bully once in my entire life. I was 10, and my brother was 6. We were spending the weekend at my Aunt Val’s house with our older cousins. My brother and I were pretty sweet little kids, because that’s how our parents raised us. Our cousins, however, were not. They were really cruel teenagers who delighted in tormenting us whenever they could, so on this particular weekend, in the interest of self-preservation, I made a cowardly decision to gang up on my brother with them, so they’d leave me alone.
Jeremy had a little parakeet at Aunt Val’s, called Mister Feathers. Jeremy adored this little guy, and I thought he was pretty neat, too, but when our cousins thought it was real funny to run their fingers across his cage and scare the shit out of him so Jeremy would cry, I went along with it. Eventually, Aunt Val heard all the commotion and came to Jeremy’s rescue. I only saw Aunt Val angry one time in my life, and that was it.
I felt terrible that I made Jeremy cry, because I knew that big brothers were supposed to protect their little brothers, but our cousins were relentless and ruthless in their bullying of us, and on this particular day I wasn’t strong enough to stand up for us both. I don’t recall why, and I’ve spent a lot of time over the years unsuccessfully searching for a satisfactory answer, but the best I can do is "I was a kid, I was scared, and I didn’t know any better."
The thing is, I learned from that experience. I felt so sick about it, and so guilty (still do) that by the time I was 12 and we shot Stand By Me, it is absolutely impossible that I would have bullied anyone, especially Jerry, who I really liked.
12:12pm: In comments, casbar says:
It wasn’t that bad. When asked if any of the other kids were assholes to him, O’Connell said he got along with Phoenix but Feldman and Wil Wheaton would bully him a bit cause it was his first job and he was the youngest. He clarified that it was because you guys were all Hollywood kids so it was some kind of "professionalism" bullying.. if that makes any sense.
Man, that’s actually worse than what I thought he said. Corey was an absolute nightmare the entire shoot: totally unprofessional, always looking to be the center of attention, and excessively cruel to me (when we shot the "dog pile" thing right before we discover the leeches, he delighted in jamming his knee into the back of my knee, and that wasn’t even the worst thing he pulled during production) so to be lumped in with him in Jerry’s memory makes me really, really sad.
NB: I understand that Corey’s finally gotten his shit together. If so, good for him, and I don’t hold a grudge. It’s just that when we made the movie, he was pretty terrible to be around.
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My younger sister and I were very close in age, and when our youngest sister was born, it seemed to immeditely turn to us against her – especially as we got a little older (we were 9 and 8 and she was 3). Middle Sis and I used to make fake radio shows and record them into our cassette player. It was great fun, and Little Sis always wanted to join. We wouldn’t let her, and in most of the tapes you could hear her crying at our bedroom door wanting to play with her big sisters. One of those tapes emerged after years of being in hiding, and Middle Sis and I were disgusted by our behavior. We apologized to Little Sis. Luckily, I think those tapes are lost again or destroyed…I don’t think I could bear listening to them again.
Remembering these things still makes me feel ashamed, but my sisters and I are very close now. I don’t know if it really counts as bullying (sisters seem to be a little different – very vicious!), but we were still pretty awful to her. I know you feel, Wil.
After reading that transcript of the show, it confirms why I never liked listening to the Howard Stern show. It’s almost like he is not listening to Jerry at all, just jabbing at him for rediculous reasons.
Jerry was harmless in that interview. I say you get someone to book you on the show and set it straight. 🙂 Kidding. Howard is lame. The whole sitation is lame. But, it did spark a converstaion on bullies…which is a subject everyone has delt with.
Wil, you’ll be pleased to know that William F. Shatner was on the Stern show today, and he didn’t mention you at all. 🙂
I think as nerds we’ve experienced enough bullying that the idea of being mistaken for one is kinda sickening, so I can see why you’d want to clear the air!
“It’s hard to defend yourself in someone else’s memory.”
Brilliant. True.
Can you feel me?
I’m not sure about this choice. Do you feel alone with that matter? Or something else?
If so, I’m sure your explanation brought a lot of people on your side of the wall – the few people who weren’t there yet.
Oh… we shouldn’t help them to bury the light, maybe?
I can’t believe I’m posting this, cause I despise all things akin to name dropping, but…
I met Wil once and long ago when I was 13 and he was like 14 or 15. He was doing a guest shot on a sitcom, and as the godson of a stage manager, I had a gig doing atmosphere. So I can personally attest that at that age, Wil was not a bully on set. He was actually really cool to me. And I, being a bigger geek even than he, was slightly starstruck. IIRC, he showed me a card trick. >.< Growing up in the San Fernando Valley, I was also about two degrees shy of Feldman. He, unlike Wil, was a class A jerk. Notoriously so.
After reading this post and some of the comments in imdb’s section on Wil, I’m struck by how disadvantaged a child star is in ways regular folks may not consider. When we’re kids and behave badly because we’re kids and that’s what kids do, no one is going to go to discuss our childhood behavior as if it directly reflected on who we are as adults. It’s as if our mistakes are written in pencil that fades through time, but the young star’s behavior is in permanent ink and posted on a billboard for all to see forever.
It’s got to be that much worse when people distort the past (intentionally or unintentionally) and make it even worse.
I just finished reading “Just a Geek” for the first time and was struck by how Wil has changed and matured and how unfair it is that he still feels obliged to apologize or clarify his behavior as a teenager at times. I’m relieved that my childhood and teen behavior isn’t preserved in a similar fashion.
Thanks for READING :
Whoops !
Forgot the link from my previous post. Here is where you can find more information on the “Celebrity Pinball Tournament & Arcade Game Show.” Taking place the 2nd weekend in Septemeber in Los Angeles, CA. at Hollywood Park!
http://www.celebritypinball4autism.com
Thanks Again!
Regards,
Steve Winslow