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itchy feet and fading smiles

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So apparently Jerry O’Connell was on the Howard Stern Show this morning, and claimed that I bullied him when we made Stand By Me.

I haven’t heard the interview, so I don’t have
context beyond, "Hey, Jerry says you bullied him when you made that
movie," and normally, I’d just laugh this sort of thing off because it’s entirely untrue, but I’m a little sensitive to being misrepresented, especially on a show like Stern where there are eleventy million listeners.

So.

This isn’t true, and you’ll shortly see why it’s so important to me to set the record straight.

Keep in mind that Jerry was 10 or 11 when we shot Stand By Me, and I was 12, so neither one of us is the most reliable narrator in the world about events that are nearly 25 years in the past, but my memory on this particular issue is crystal clear: River and Corey really picked on Jerry and me, because I was the nerd and he was the fat kid. It wasn’t constant — River and I were pretty good friends for most of the production and remained that way for years after — and I’m sure there were moments when all of us formed temporary alliances because that’s what pre-teen boys do when they’re in any social situation like we were, but I never bullied Jerry or anyone else.

I know this to be an unimpeachable fact because I’ve only been a serious bully once in my entire life. I was 10, and my brother was 6. We were spending the weekend at my Aunt Val’s house with our older cousins. My brother and I were pretty sweet little kids, because that’s how our parents raised us. Our cousins, however, were not. They were really cruel teenagers who delighted in tormenting us whenever they could, so on this particular weekend, in the interest of self-preservation, I made a cowardly decision to gang up on my brother with them, so they’d leave me alone.

Jeremy had a little parakeet at Aunt Val’s, called Mister Feathers. Jeremy adored this little guy, and I thought he was pretty neat, too, but when our cousins thought it was real funny to run their fingers across his cage and scare the shit out of him so Jeremy would cry, I went along with it. Eventually, Aunt Val heard all the commotion and came to Jeremy’s rescue. I only saw Aunt Val angry one time in my life, and that was it.

I felt terrible that I made Jeremy cry, because I knew that big brothers were supposed to protect their little brothers, but our cousins were relentless and ruthless in their bullying of us, and on this particular day I wasn’t strong enough to stand up for us both. I don’t recall why, and I’ve spent a lot of time over the years unsuccessfully searching for a satisfactory answer, but the best I can do is "I was a kid, I was scared, and I didn’t know any better."

The thing is, I learned from that experience. I felt so sick about it, and so guilty (still do) that by the time I was 12 and we shot Stand By Me, it is absolutely impossible that I would have bullied anyone, especially Jerry, who I really liked.

12:12pm: In comments, casbar says:

It wasn’t that bad. When asked if any of the other kids were assholes to him, O’Connell said he got along with Phoenix but Feldman and Wil Wheaton would bully him a bit cause it was his first job and he was the youngest. He clarified that it was because you guys were all Hollywood kids so it was some kind of "professionalism" bullying.. if that makes any sense.

Man, that’s actually worse than what I thought he said. Corey was an absolute nightmare the entire shoot: totally unprofessional, always looking to be the center of attention, and excessively cruel to me (when we shot the "dog pile" thing right before we discover the leeches, he delighted in jamming his knee into the back of my knee, and that wasn’t even the worst thing he pulled during production) so to be lumped in with him in Jerry’s memory makes me really, really sad.

NB: I understand that Corey’s finally gotten his shit together. If so, good for him, and I don’t hold a grudge. It’s just that when we made the movie, he was pretty terrible to be around.

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13 May, 2008 Wil

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anywhere she lays her head → ← did i mention that i’ll be in seattle this weekend?

59 thoughts on “itchy feet and fading smiles”

  1. Bike Stop says:
    13 May, 2008 at 11:09 am

    Hey Wil,
    I wouldn’t worry about it too much (though if I were in your position, I probably would too) but everyone knows anything they hear on Stern is bullshit anyway.

  2. PA_ChanMan says:
    13 May, 2008 at 11:13 am

    Is the interview online anywhere yet? In Jerry’s defense, I’m betting his memory of the event just kind of grouped all three of you together if he had a bad experience. Most of my childhood was spent being picked on (I was one of like three chinese kids in my school and I was a geek). When I look back it’s difficult for me to seperate the kids who were mean to me from the ones who were just off on the sidelines watching. They all kind of blend together after 15 years.

  3. starshine_diva says:
    13 May, 2008 at 11:17 am

    Similarly, I’m a nice little girl. I’ve only been a bully in one situation and never again.
    But I don’t want to talk about it unless it’s to apologize.

  4. Anna Harriman says:
    13 May, 2008 at 11:17 am

    First, I’d like to say that I find it hilarious that people are actually reporting stuff like this to you. It’s the Wheaton Spy Network! LOL
    Second, there could’ve been sarcasm involved. I mean, it IS Howard Stern’s show…wouldn’t be the first time someone missed the sarcasm.

  5. Sweeneybird says:
    13 May, 2008 at 11:19 am

    Your concern is completely understandable – I’ve only once done something that qualifies as bullying, and I’m still embarrassed and ashamed and baffled by my behavior. Like you, I’m very sensitive to being perceived as a bully as a result. Good for you for clarifying!

  6. AJ says:
    13 May, 2008 at 11:22 am

    No one has audio of this? Do I have to do everything myself around here?
    *sigh* Fine. I’m firing up my Sirius.

  7. Gudlyf says:
    13 May, 2008 at 11:24 am

    Hey Wil. I didn’t hear the interview (yet) but a quasi-transcript at marksfriggin.com shows this:
    “A caller asked Jerry if he was treated like an asshole when he was shooting ”Stand By Me.” Jerry said that was his first job but River Phoenix was nice to him. He said that Corey Feldman and one of the other kids were kind of bullyish toward him but not really bullying. He said that he’s friendly with Corey now. He said he actually went to a CD signing he was doing one day.”

  8. Coyote Seven says:
    13 May, 2008 at 11:27 am

    Wait, I’d heard that you pulled Shannen Doherty’s hair.
    Or no, she pulled your hair.
    No wait, I think it was that she pulled your hair and then fell over a cliff.
    Wait wait! You both had a cold. Yeah, that was it.

  9. R says:
    13 May, 2008 at 11:29 am

    Well, hey–you got a good storytelling moment out of it, at any rate. Learning experience FTW!

  10. chuckgoolsbee says:
    13 May, 2008 at 11:34 am

    Stern HAD eleventy million listeners. Since the jump to satradio, he only has small fraction of his past audience… BUT he does have half a billion bucks. I’d take that trade.
    –chuck
    http://chuck.goolsbee.org

  11. Chuck says:
    13 May, 2008 at 11:35 am

    I believe you, and having had older sisters growing up, I know how being falsely accused sucks.
    But remember, you’ll always have Bootytown with Ashley Judd.

  12. Angela says:
    13 May, 2008 at 11:38 am

    I agree with Bike Stop, I can’t imagine anyone of your many readers who feel like they have gotten a feel for who you are would ever take a comment like that seriously.
    On another note I’m bummed I didn’t make it to see you in seattle last weekend. I wanted to meet you and tell you that I was the dumb untech savvy girl who asked what “teh” meant on this blog awhile back, and to ask how Chris is doing. Maybe next time. 🙁

  13. Sidra Vitale says:
    13 May, 2008 at 11:44 am

    “…but the best I can do is ‘I was a kid, I was scared, and I didn’t know any better.'”
    That’s a very self-aware conclusion that shows a lot of compassion for your younger self. I think our past selves need compassion and understanding as much as the people around us in our present do.

  14. nullvariable says:
    13 May, 2008 at 11:55 am

    I once coaxed my youngest brother into the dryer and turned it on…I’m sure that qualifies as bullying but I always claimed it was because I was too big to fit in and wondered what it would be like…lets just say my little bro doesn’t listen to what I have to say much…and I learned my lesson too! (spankings were much more acceptable back then)

  15. crusader1973 says:
    13 May, 2008 at 11:59 am

    Wil,
    I was listening to Stern this morning and heard the topic in question. Jerry didn’t really say that you were a bully. A caller wanted to know “if anybody on the Stand By Me set was a d1ck” and Howard was pressing the question pretty hard to Jerry. He reluctantly said that you and Corey were veteran kid actors and he was a bit intimidated, that was all. He seemed like a pretty nice guy.

  16. casbar says:
    13 May, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    It wasn’t that bad. When asked if any of the other kids were assholes to him, O’Connell said he got along with Phoenix but Feldman and Wil Wheaton would bully him a bit cause it was his first job and he was the youngest. He clarified that it was because you guys were all Hollywood kids so it was some kind of “professionalism” bullying.. if that makes any sense. The only part that pissed me off after that was he said recently he saw Corey at a CD signing and actually got a crappy Feldman CD signed but no mention of you or your books at all.

  17. Riley Joy says:
    13 May, 2008 at 12:07 pm

    I would never believe anything I heard on Stern’s show, even if I could summon up the intestinal fortitude to actually listen to his show. He’s just a schmuck who’s famous for being obnoxious. Like Paris Hilton, famous for being rich and indiscreet. Or President Bush, famous for his wonderfully articulate speeches.

  18. Lea-Hernandez says:
    13 May, 2008 at 12:11 pm

    I can see why this is important to you. It sucks to feel like only one side of the story is told, and that side makes you sound like a jerk. And it sure sucks to get it right after a nice weekend. I know this from personal experience.
    Try not to let it harsh your Seattle buzz.

  19. TheOpie says:
    13 May, 2008 at 12:12 pm

    It went down pretty much as casbar said, I hope my tweet didn’t cause this, I was just joking.

  20. Wil says:
    13 May, 2008 at 12:13 pm

    @casbar: Man, that’s actually worse than what I thought he said. Corey was an absolute nightmare the entire shoot: totally unprofessional, always looking to be the center of attention, and excessively cruel to me (when we shot the “dog pile” thing right before we discover the leeches, he delighted in jamming his knee into the back of my knee, and that wasn’t even the worst thing he pulled during production) so to be lumped in with him in Jerry’s memory makes me really, really sad.

  21. James M says:
    13 May, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    Have you thought about writing a parenting book? I’m going to save this post for my 3.5 year old when he’s a little older. I want him to be his little brothers protector.

  22. Mad Monk says:
    13 May, 2008 at 12:30 pm

    Carly Simon recently said of a book that tells part of her past:
    “…it brought back things that I didn’t want to remember and from other people’s voices,” Simon said in a recent interview with The Associated Press. “I saw things in a way that to me seemed just too harsh…”
    It’s hard to defend yourself in someone else’s memory.
    Besides, he’s banging that hot blue chick. What’s he got to complain about?

  23. Andrew says:
    13 May, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    Besides, he’s banging that hot blue chick.
    Smurfette?

  24. Mad Monk says:
    13 May, 2008 at 12:47 pm

    Andrew:
    Now THAT would have been an interesting literary adaption.
    Magneto: “I’m sorry, my dear girl, but homo sapiens superior shall now take their rightful place!”
    Smurfette: “OHH BOO HOO HOO”
    I’m sure someone else could write that better.

  25. casbar says:
    13 May, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    Agreed, Wheaton. I wouldn’t want to be lumped in with Corey Feldman either. I did get the feeling O’Connell at least tried to be nice but I’m with you.. that just hurts.

  26. Laura says:
    13 May, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    Wil, anyone who’s been reading here for more than a day or so knows that you are a good guy who is rarely a dick for no good reason. I didn’t hear what Jerry said, but I would take it with a grain of salt if I had. And even if had happened, it was a million years ago and at some point we all grow up.
    I would’ve figured all the older kids on the set picked on all of you younger guys anyhow…

  27. wandrew says:
    13 May, 2008 at 1:18 pm

    Recollect the moment in Stranger In A Strange Land when Valentine Michael Smith finally groks people: he sees a big monkey bully a smaller monkey, and then the smaller monkey bullies an even smaller monkey. Although I can say with absolute certainty that 99 percent of the time I was the one bullied, there were 1 or 3 occasions where I was the bully. I’m no longer ashamed by this because I understand human nature a lot better than I did when I was 14.
    BTW, isn’t it past time for Mr McConnell to weigh in on this?

  28. Monkus says:
    13 May, 2008 at 1:30 pm

    I grok in fullness.

  29. Gudlyf says:
    13 May, 2008 at 1:35 pm

    I clipped the section from the show here: http://drop.io/wilonstern

  30. Hippielover459 says:
    13 May, 2008 at 1:45 pm

    I would try not to worry too much about it. If Jerry really was 10 or 11, he could easily mess up the facts.
    And just so you know, reading you talk about Stand By Me (one of my top ten favorite movies) oddly made me smile and also made me want to watch it again.
    I thank you for that.

  31. rseppala says:
    13 May, 2008 at 2:04 pm

    Dude…Corey seemed like such a spas back in the day. I just can’t imagine little Wesley Crusher bullying anybody..LOL
    Speaking of Wesley, I was looking over all of the stuff I wrote for the KvP contest at FanLib, and I must admit, it was pretty darn good, especially the Wes and Dr. Crusher stuff…and where I inserted myself into the star trek universe as a dead guy…priceless.
    Ok you guys should do another one…Picard and Kirk, Kirk and Picard, Wes and Picard, Wes and Kirk…whatever.

  32. SandieK says:
    13 May, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    Ive never actually looked at Sterns show site on Sirius, so I have no idea how/if they have archives somewhere. Theres a clip of something here, so Im going to see if that blurb is on it. If it is, Ill repost the link.

  33. angie k says:
    13 May, 2008 at 2:52 pm

    Well, it wasn’t the most scathing of comments but it certainly would make me feel bad, too. But it sounds like he really doesn’t remember it all that much and with Howard cutting in it seems like he lost his train of thought a bit. I mean, he thought you, River, and Corey were 16 at the time (Not true – River was four years older than Jerry, Corey was three, you were two. Yes, I just used the Googles to find everyone’s birthdays.) so he’s probably not remembering it as you remember it or as it actually happened. I wouldn’t see it as the most damaging attack in the world but maybe you should tell him that if he ever thought you acted like a dick back then you totally didn’t mean to and point him to this post. (Always nice to read your fiction or memoir-esque posts.)
    (P.S. I’m still hoping for a Wil Wheaton Stand By Me commentary track.)
    Cheers!

  34. Keri says:
    13 May, 2008 at 3:05 pm

    Wil, didn’t you mention like six months ago you were thinking of doing an MP3 download commentary for Stand By Me? I’d totally pay $10 for that.
    And yeah, I kinda always knew Corey Feldman was a douche.

  35. casbar says:
    13 May, 2008 at 3:11 pm

    Hey man. I didn’t jump on here to trash Corey Feldman on your blog. I know you’re not about that stuff. Sorry ’bout that.

  36. Alan says:
    13 May, 2008 at 3:46 pm

    Wasn’t Jerry’s character bullied a little as part of the script by everyone?
    I think there is only one way to settle this.
    Cage match.
    To the death.

  37. jadeddo says:
    13 May, 2008 at 4:01 pm

    I just listened to the spot… Jerry sounded awfully reluctant to call anyone a name. He probably just felt out of place because he was from out of town as compared to you three. (Also, if there might have been a point where you were offering advice he may have taken it poorly? It was his first job, maybe he was really nervous)

  38. Coyote Seven says:
    13 May, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    BTW, I can barely remember being 12 years old, which was in 1982.
    The only thing from that time that I remember with ANY clarity at all was Christmastime, when my folks took me to buy me an Atari 2600 and had me choose which games I wanted to get with it.
    Those were Pac-Man and Demon Attack.

  39. LoadStar says:
    13 May, 2008 at 4:47 pm

    Putting my brain in peril, I listened to the segment in question, and transcribed it for the record:
    Stern: Let’s go to Rob, who wants to say good morning. Yes, in Ramona California.
    Caller: Hey. Hey now, Love the show. Jerry, I had a question regarding one of the greatest [inaudible] of all time, “Stand By Me.” Um… You guys all seemed like you were really good friends. Um… Was any of the other guys, any of the other actors there assholes? Behind the —
    Stern: Anybody treat you like an asshole? Was anybody an asshole on the set?
    O’Connell: You know, it’s funny, I actually, um, I was 11 when I did it, so you have to understand I was very young.
    Stern: Somebody there must have been an asshole. Out with it.
    O’Connell: They were all 16. They were older.
    Robin: Really?
    Stern: So they were all assholes?
    O’Connell: Um, and they had all worked… um, they had been working actors, and it was my first job. So, um… I was very friendly with River Phoenix, and —
    Stern: He was an asshole?
    O’Connell: — his mother and my mother were very friendly. I was very friendly with him. But the, um… You know, I think there was sort of like, and it probably happened…
    Robin: Corey Feldman was an asshole?
    Stern: [inaudible, spoken under Robin]
    O’Connell: My lack of experience they sort of like —
    Stern: Who was an asshole??
    O’Connell: — rode me a little bit. Uh, I want to tell you, like even now.. uh… I felt like Corey Feldman and Wil Wheaton were a little… umm…
    Stern: Asshole-ish?
    O’Connell: A little bullyish ’cause I was younger. But you know, these were Hollywood kids —
    Stern: They wedge-y you?
    O’Connell: — and I was from New York, so, they didn’t… no, there was no bullying. I mean, just like I think more professionally bullying, you know?
    Stern: Ok, fair enough. There you go.
    Caller: Ok I have one more little question, and it was about–
    Stern: Call the Enquirer, Jerry O’Connell says Corey Feldman’s an asshole.
    O’Connell: No, listen, I’m friendly with him now. I went to his CD signing.
    [somebody]: You did???
    Robin: He’s got a new CD???
    O’Connell: No, um…
    [somebody]: He opened up a CD in a [inaudible]
    Stern: CD signing?!?
    O’Connell: I was living in Tower Records at the time and I saw that he was, um, signing his CD there and I thought, I drove past it and I was like, “oh, I don’t want to go to that,” and then I thought, “Oh, you know what, I should go and say hello.”
    Stern: Didn’t Corey on the set of “Stand By Me” rape you with a stick?
    O’Connell: No. He did not.

  40. Lisa Henderson says:
    13 May, 2008 at 4:47 pm

    On behalf of the UK and the Antipodes, I’d like to say WhoTF is Stern? This issue is definitely not planet-wide, never heard of the dude and never likely to see the show.
    Chill, Wil. 🙂

  41. uisceboo says:
    13 May, 2008 at 5:01 pm

    I completely understand why you want to set the record straight, even if no one feels you need to. That kind of accusation goes to the core of who we are, what we believe is right and wrong. It hurts when someone casts all your good in shadow with a few words.
    For what it’s worth, I don’t listen or watch anything Stern. I am not interested in bullsh|t or boobs, and that’s about all his shows ever really seem to be about.
    I always wonder why anyone would want to be a guest on his show; it doesn’t add to their credibility in the least. I figure if someone has something important to say in an interview, and it’s true and verifiable, they’d end up on Larry King.
    Ah, well.

  42. Athol_Wolverine says:
    13 May, 2008 at 5:10 pm

    As others have already said, it’s understandable you would want to set the record straight, if you were actually misrepresented.
    However, if the transcription of the conversation posted by Load Star is accurate, it’s clear Stern was doing the very asshole, and very tired “shock jock” thing and trying to twist Jerry’s words into something he was not even intending to say.
    I say, sic Chopper on ‘im!

  43. taylor says:
    13 May, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    The focus was definitely on Corey, since he used to be a Stern guy a while back. you weren’t really served up at all. just a breif mention.

  44. Athol_Wolverine says:
    13 May, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    Shit, I was so pissed by Stern’s obvious badgering and manipulation of the conversation, I forgot to say in my last post, thanks, Wil, for the Stand By Me recollection (even if it was brought about by a less than welcome situation).
    Stand By Me is also in my list of top movies, and it was great to get that brief “behind the scenes” look as to what the experience was like for you guys.

  45. Sperlock says:
    13 May, 2008 at 6:17 pm

    Let’s hope there isn’t a Wil Wheaton from the Mirror Universe trying to cause problems for you! 😀

  46. Magic_Al says:
    13 May, 2008 at 6:36 pm

    Add me to the pre-order list for Wil’s Stand By Me commentary. Imagine being able to turn off Richard Dreyfuss narrating fictional memories and turn on Wil Wheaton being real.

  47. ssrat says:
    13 May, 2008 at 11:15 pm

    Well unless I missed it (probable for me) AMC is doing their DVD-TV of Stand By me This? weekend.
    Wil if you feel like re-watching it and letting us know if what THEY say about the movie is accurate. I think we would all love to know, even if just to know they do some research into what they put up.

  48. Joel says:
    14 May, 2008 at 1:36 am

    Dude you should call the Howard 100 news line and tell your side of the story, they love that kind of stuff and it would be great to hear you on the Stern Show, I think the number is 1 888 9 asshole or 1 888 stern 101 ex. 69.

  49. RainInSpain says:
    14 May, 2008 at 4:58 am

    From the transcript posted, it’s just really clear that Stern was trolling for horror stories, and not listening to anything that didn’t meet that spec.
    With someone pressuring the speaker like that, the natural human response is to throw them a crumb… I’d say in fact Stern was the bully here, putting words into someone else’s mouth and making it REAL clear what he wants to hear.

  50. lskrocki says:
    14 May, 2008 at 7:35 am

    Hmmm…assuming LoadStar’s transcription is accurate, it sounds like a) Howard is a manipulating @$$hole (no surprise there) b) Jerry didn’t mean it and was having a hard time getting a word in edge-side c) Howard is a manipulating @$$hole.
    HTH,
    @lskrocki

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