the R’lyehan tourist phrasebook

Posted on By Wil

Elizabeth Bear’s doing a series of posts where she shares things she overheard
at WisCon. They’re all pretty awesome, but this one is TOTALLY FUCKING
AWESOME:

12.) R’lyehan tourist phrasebook:

Help. I am being devoured by your octopus.

My species does not breathe water.

No thank you. I do not wish a fungus.

I’m sorry, no. I have claustrophobia.

You seem to have a frog in your throat.
You seem to have a frog in your soup.
You seem to have a frog in your pants.

Would you like a lemon drop?

(from Overheard at WisCon)

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Comments (11)

  1. That is, indeed, totally awesome.
    In related news, I just put a Cthulhu fish on the back of my car last friday!
    Cthulhu ftagn!

  6. *nudge, nudge, wink, wink* Hey hey, if you come to Geek.kon (also in Madison, WI) you can have your own crazy-WI overheard quotes… cause that’s what we’re good for here in Madison… craziness. Well, and geekiness. At least it seems so in my head.

  8. “No thank you. I do not wish a fungus.” I should print this one on a teeshirt, for next time I’ve had a few too many and some sleaze tries to pick me up!

  9. Hey Wil !
    I sent you an email about my upcoming Autism Fundraiser taking place the 2nd weekend of September at Hollywood Park. It’s the “Celebrity Pinall & Arcade Game show”. We would be honored if you’d grace us with your presence. I know your schedule fills up quick and that you’re very busy but it will feature 100’s of classic video arcade & pinball machines and a head-to-head pinball competition between the celebs & general public… Funds raised will go to TACA – Talk About Curing Autism. We would love to see you there! PM me if you have any questions or concerns.
    Regards,
    Steve Winslow

  11. “Help. I am being devoured by your octopus.”
    Man, if I had a dollar for every time I heard that…
    I’d still be broke.

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