wil’s big news of the day

I was picking tomatoes in my back yard yesterday afternoon when the phone rang. Caller ID said it was my manager. I picked it up and said, “Mister Black! What’s up?”

“Seth Macfarlane wants to work with you tomorrow,” he said.

The next thing I knew, I was looking into the concerned faces of my wife and kids, while a machine behind me went ping!

“What happened?” I said.

“You answered the phone, screamed like a little girl, and fainted,” Anne said.

“So it wasn’t a dream!” I said. I leapt to my feet, doffed a Fedora, twirled my mustache and added, “Quickly! To the auto-gyro!”

Minutes later, I was airborne, soaring over the Los Angeles basin, while striped-shirt-wearing nogoodniks chased after me in pedal-powered flying contraptions. It was perilous, to be sure, but my superior piloting and my trusty manservant Kwame’s peerless skill with curare-tipped darts assured my escape.

My brief and unexpected foray into a 1930s pulp novel concluded, I returned to my home, where I got back on the phone.

“What just happened to you?” He said.

“Um. Nothing,” I said. “What am I doing tomorrow?”

“Seth Macfarlane has a new online project called Cavalcade, and he wants you to work on it.” He said.

“Seth Macfarlane wants to work with me? Are you sure he didn’t mean the other Will Wheaton, the well-known jazz singer?”

“Yes, you.” He said. “I’m e-mailing you the script right now.”

The script arrived, I laughed myself silly, and called my manager back. “This is hilarious! There isn’t a single thing about this that I don’t like.”

“I knew you’d say that,” he said. “I’ll call them now and confirm you.”

. . . and that’s the story of how I got to work on Cavalcade this afternoon, where Seth Macfarlane complimented my beard and told me I was funny.

I am, without a doubt, the luckiest guy in this room right now.

Some parts of this story have been mildly exaggerated for dramatic effect.

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52 thoughts on “wil’s big news of the day”

  1. Do we get a no-prize if we properly guess which part?
    Ummm. You exaggerated about the beard compliment, and it actually more of an off-hand comment?

  8. A. I love the fact that you were doing something as day-to-day as picking tomatoes in your yard- CLASSIC
    B. There is no measure on how freaking amazing things can turn out by just being you 🙂

  10. Well, rock on with your, as they say, bad self.
    Now, if I recall correctly, you worked with Mr. McF sometime back for an episode of Family Guy. Did I miss it, or has that event not aired yet? It’s hard to remember how long ago it was that you recorded that. Or perhaps I just dreamed that entry in your blog…?

  11. Congratulations on the Macfarlane project, the Dodgers, and your vacation. 1930s storytelling is over. Cool.

  15. Congrats, Wil!
    I tip my pink-and-black fedora to you! (Seriously, I have a fedora, and it’s black with hot pink lining on the inside. Little bitty skulls with hearts on the band complete the look. Shop smart, shop Spencer’s Gifts.)

  16. I wanna borrow the autogyro when you’re finished with it. I promise I’ll bring it back in like-new condition. I’ll even have Gyro Gearloose service it before I return it, and I’ll top up the kerosene tank.
    Can I Wil, please?
    Oh, and many many congratulations on the VO gig…that RAWKS!

  17. Well this is just bloody brilliant! I can’t wait to hear more about this so that I can pass it on to my listeners. You have once again given me great material to work with.

  18. w0000000000000000000t!!!
    “Seth Macfarlane wants to work with me? Are you sure he didn’t mean the other Will Wheaton, the well-known jazz singer?”
    lmao.

  19. I’ll have to tell my kid about this one 🙂 We’ve been watching the “I love the new millennium” on VH1 and now she likes the grown up you as much as she liked the kid in “Stand by Me”.

  20. Wil,
    Please allow me to say “congratulations” in the only manner fitting this situation.
    \m/,
    RTFO, MAN!

  21. Very big news Wil, congratulations to you! How fun!
    I just saw you on vh1’s” ’07, iLove the new millennium”, and I screamed and lol’d and my family is wondering what’s going on and I said, “Wil Wheaton’s on vh1 right now!!!”

  28. “Perfect! Seth Macfarlane, peeps! Put your hand on the computer screen and repeat after me: I do hereby promise only to read only the WWdN blog. To make underleg noises during when Wil writes a good one-liner. To wear unwashed Lederhosen every single day of the rest of my life! That’s it, we’re all in Wil’s secret I’m Doing A Project With Seth Macfarlane club! Alright Wil, they’re OK. Show them the stuff.” – Liberated (but slightly modified) from Ren & Stimpy.

  29. Congrats, that’s hawesome. Oh, and nice Monty Python reference.
    As it’s so funny, I think you’d better be selected to play for the boy’s team in the rugby match against the masters this afternoon.

  32. Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit! Awesomeness and awesomenocity! Two great tastes that taste great together!

  33. Congratulations, Wil – sounds like a great project.
    …
    Wait, if the machine behind you was going “Ping”, that means your baby is still alive.
    What?!
    Mind you, I guess it is the most expensive machine in the whole hospital. Aren’t you lucky?

  35. Please tell us the moment it gets posted!
    About Creation: great to hear that it wasn’t an intentional snub. (It also doesn’t suck to know that I was kinda right and I kinda told you so…) 🙂
    I love Serious Turtle by the way. It would totally sell as a poster.

  36. Congratulations!
    Also: Post pics of the beard, sir! I’m curious as to whether you’ve gone Mountain Man on us, or if you’re staying true to your roots and kickin’ it Evil Spock style.

  39. Woohoo for you, Wil! I have to admit that while I am not a rabis Seth McF fan, I have been known to foam gently at the muzzle over him. Oh, and ROCK THE FACIAL HAIR HERE, WIL! (When will HTML come out that lets us close multiple tags with a single close?)

  40. Congratulations. This however had better not hold up the next book. Glad to see you getting back into the genere of the old Wil Wheaton. Bill Mann

  41. yeah…so I still don’t know who Seth Macfarlane _is_. oh well – sounds like you enjoyed it, so, “YAY!”

  42. “Some parts of this story have been mildly exaggerated for dramatic effect.”
    I knew you weren’t really picking Tomato’s!

  46. Lego Wesley grows strictly organic heirloom tomatoes and has had Seth McFarlane’s celly number four three years.

  49. Your beard does make you look really quite outrageously hot, and so is deserving of all the compliments it gets.
    Oh, and congrats!!

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