I haven’t had a theatrical agent for years, so I don’t have as many auditions or opportunities to work as an actor as I once did. I have a fantastic manager, though, who always gets me into quality auditions, where I have a real shot at booking the job.[1]
My manager and I have an understanding that I’m primarily focused on writing at the moment, so he can put his time and energy into his other clients who are full-time actors, while keeping an eye out for parts like NUMB3RS, where I have a better than average shot to nail the audition.[2] This arrangement has worked out really well for both of us.
Last week, he got me an audition for a wonderful role on [awesome show redacted]. I had less than a day to prepare it but I did my best, and when I got into the room . . . I sucked. Oh, man how I sucked. I think the stink of my reading is still sitting in that building, a week after I left. In fact, if you see hazmat teams in Studio City, now you know why.
Luckily for us, the casting director was willing to give good, honest, useful feedback on my audition. The bottom line? He felt like I was really “acting” when I was in there. My performance wasn’t organic, it wasn’t honest, it wasn’t real. In other words, it wasn’t very good.
When my manager relayed this to me, it was like Billy Zabka swept my leg. Getting caught acting was one of my worst fears realized. Good actors don’t get caught acting, bad actors get caught acting. Ergo . . . well, I’d rather not say it out loud.
For the next couple of days, I spent a lot of time thinking about how that happened, and I had to face an uncomfortable reality: maybe I was so out of practice, and so focused on writing (instead of acting), maybe I just don’t have what it takes to be a successful on-camera actor anymore.
I had a real crisis on my hands, but before I could call my manager and discuss it yesterday, he called me with another audition.
“Okay,” I thought, “I’ll just go on this audition, and after the holiday weekend, I’ll see if we can have lunch, and face this reality together.”
I prepared the audition, keenly aware of all the things I’d done wrong with the [awesome show redacted] audition. I went through all the things I’ve written about acting and auditioning, and listened to a lot of my own advice and experience. I decided that I’d get in, do my thing, and get out.[3] I thought about a number of conversations I’ve recently had with a friend of mine who just booked a similar role on [very very very awesome show redacted], and applied some of his decision making to my own. I kept it simple, and I never thought, “Well, this is it. If this one doesn’t work, I’m hanging up my dance belt.”[4] Instead, I just prepared my take on this character, made some deliberate-but-risky choices, and went to work.
When I was in the room, I didn’t think about the people there, I didn’t think about what was at stake (directly or indirectly) and I just focused on the person I was reading with. I didn’t do anything fancy, just gave them my simple-but-deliberate take on this guy.
I felt better than I felt after I sucked out loud last week. I didn’t know if I nailed it, but I’d made my deliberate-but-risky choices, and I’d committed to them entirely. Whether I got the job or not, at least I had that to take home with me and keep in a box on the shelf for the weekend.
A few hours after I got home, my manager called me.
“Well, I have some feedback,” he said.
“That was fast,” I said.
“Yeah, I guess they wanted you to know right away that you’re hired.”
“Really?!” I said. I always say that, even though I know that my manager is never going to call me up, tell me a got a job, and then say, “Ha! PSYKE!”
“Yes, really.” He said.
So I squeed, and he outlined the deal for me. I get guest-starring billing at the beginning of the show on my own card, I work for eight days, and — best of all — I’ll earn enough to qualify for SAG’s “good” health insurance for at least another year.
I can’t say anything about the role, because I don’t have permission from the producers and the network, but I think I can safely reveal that it’s for Criminal Minds on CBS, and it’s a part that I am going to love bringing to life.
There is a lesson here about not giving up. There’s a lesson here about learning from your mistakes and applying that knowledge, instead of wallowing in self-pity. I’m not pointing that out because I think anyone else needs to hear it; I’m pointing it out because I’m going to forget it sooner or later, and I want to remember it the next time I go searching through my writing for advice from myself.
One more thing: when I had the audition last week, I did my best, even though my best was crap. When I did my audition yesterday, I did my best, and it was much better than what “my best” was just a week ago. Someone once said to me that we should always do our best, and understand and accept that “our best” will vary from time to time. I’m glad I remembered that.
And now, footnotes:
[1] That may not make sense. Let me explain: pretty much every agent I ever had would submit me on as many projects as possible, whether I was really right for the role or not. I guess the logic here is that you get more chances to score when you take more shots, which makes a certain amount of sense, but in practice is pretty frustrating for actors who keep getting sent out for roles that they have no chance of booking. (I realize that, to actors who are struggling for any auditions, this seems like a wonderful problem to have, but it really isn’t.)
[2]Years ago, I took an extensive and comprehensive marketing class, where I learned a whole bunch of stuff about how to market myself as an actor, and how to find breakout roles that are supported by five or six things that define my personality — my essences, in the language of this course. My manager looks for roles that match up with my essences, while a larger team of agents may just look for parts that call for a white male, 30-36.
[3]This is one of the valuable things I learned while writing sketch comedy.
[4]What? You don’t wear a dance belt to every audition?
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Nice work. And that is a pretty good show, I’ll definitely look for you. Thanks for the lesson. I think we all need it once in a while even if we’re not actors.
Can.not.wait!!! CM is at the top of the favorites list around here. I’m sure it’s a great part and I hope you get lots of screen time (and maybe give Nick Brendon’s character some competition for Penelope’s affections).
wOOt beep bop sidebar refresh bippty 4x 18x megabit dooping tip type import snapback gigabite!!
or in normal lady talk, ‘congrats.’
I am so very glad that you did not give up acting.I like you both the writer and the actor. It is great that you have a manager who understands you.
One of my photography teachers used to say “Don’t strive to be excellent. You’ll burn yourself out. Try to be really good. On a bad day, you’ll be good. On a good day, you’ll be outstanding.”
Congratulations!
Funny how the roles seem to come when you’re ready to give up. It’s not the first time.
Congrats! And a great story of putting mind over… well mind. 🙂 Thanks for sharing, as always.
saw this, thought of wil…
Barack Obama is winning support for his White House campaign from an unlikely quarter – America’s poker players.
Stetson-wearing Las Vegas pros who like his belief in the freedom to gamble are putting their chips on Mr Obama, who is himself a skilled player of Texas Hold’Em and Seven Card Stud.
Doyle Brunson, America’s greatest living player and formerly a life-long Republican, has come out for Obama.
Now I have a real reason to watch “Crimminal Minds.” Congrats on the role!
Congratulations on the Criminal Minds gig. A great show, well written etc. I will look forward to seeing you on there.
Oh, and by the way there is a post up at Boing Boing about you and GTA, from an interview at GEEK.
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/07/05/wil-wheaton-and-his.html
The picture kept throwing me, it was you but yet it made you look like someone else. Then it hit me-with the sideburns and all you look like Elvis. Which honestly is a bit weird.
Wil Wheaton, you rock!
Glad to hear you are writing as well as continuing to act. Always love your commentary on VH1.
Do jazz hands accompany the dance belt?
I let a little ‘squeee’ out of my own when I read this and I had to explain it to my husband. Criminal Minds is one of my favorite shows and I can’t wait to see what (possibly demented?) part you play!
I, too, am a writer. However, I author “corporate” training materials. Sometimes I have to present it, too. A “train -the-trainer” class. And even though training an audience is very different from performing before a camera, there are some similarities. In some ways, I am acting. I may not have to audition for the role, but I certainly have to nail it when I’m “on”. And I can never tell my students: “Oops. I blew that. Can we do another take?” I’ve learned, over the years, that trainers also have to practice. Sometimes we practice for hours, getting ready to perform our class. Sometimes we just spend a great deal of time trying to get into the right frame of mind. That’s one reason I like reading your blog. Sometimes you remind me, too, of what I’ve got to do to be successful: whether in writing or performing a course.
This is AWESOME TOTALLY WICKED NEWS!!! I am so happy to hear..CRIMINAL MINDS!! All you have to do now is guest star on Dr Who and you will have covered the top shows EVER!!!!
My son thinks you are awesome, raising him right with Star Trek TNG! Glad to hear you will be continuing to Act!!!
The really interesting thing in your post Wil is about looking at things squarely and getting the message from a given situation. There are just sooo many people who repeat and repeat the same behaviour and expect a different outcome. How crazy is that ? So, I guess that critical self reflection is what takes us where we need to go…. if we are brave enough to really build it into our lives….
That sounds like awesome news! Congrats on nailing the audition.
OT: Have you already been exposed to “LOLsauropods”? A friend Stumbled it, and it seemed right up your alley.
The analogy is probably poor, but I have the same thing with interviews. I’ve done my line of work for 17+ years now, but before every interview I’ve got to practice the answers to all the basic questions like “Where do you want to be in 5 years?” and “What’s your best strength/weakness?”
People can tell if you’re underprepared (your “acting” your answers), versus knowing them by heart and believing them. Like a said, the analogy is probably a bit weak, but you can never get lazy with the simple preparations no matter how long you’ve been doing it.
Grats Wil! Now I have another show to look forward to.
And while I’m here, Little Brother is fantastic. I mentioned to my girlfriend that you recommended it and I thought she’d really like it and she had the most interesting response:
Wil Wheaton is the “bridge” between our personalities.
I’m the geek, she’s the extrovert…and between us we make a pretty big Wil Wheaton fan. Anyhow, grats on the part.
“our best will vary from time to time.” That is incredibly helpful to remember. And of course: congratulations! What could be better than getting to nurture all these different parts of yourself? Can’t wait to see you on there. Tell us when to set our TiVos!
Congrats, Wil!
I’d like to share a sidebar while we have been all over the advice in the last two or three posts. When you fail and you feel that you shouldn’t have, remember this: It is possible to commit no error and still fail.
I have to remember that everytime an entry misses, especially when an independent opinion confirms its viability. I still want to ring the Pakled’s neck. But if I’m ever going to evolve beyond petty human emotions I suppose I have to say I sucked so someone else could have a chance to not suck.
I know. It wasn’t all that satisfying to me either.
Your post reminds me of what I told my peewee hockey team last season.
“Guys, it’s not about winning or losing, it’s about doing the things on the ice that help you to win. Now, if you concentrate on what I taught you in practice, and have confidence that you can do those things, you will win.”
Through the second half of the season, after I took over the coaching duties(my first time coaching) they had the best record in the league, best goals for/against differential, and won not only a tournament championship, but the league playoffs championship. Not to shabby for a bunch of kids who never played together or at that level for that matter.
I guess my point is you’re no rookie unlike me and my hockey team, so have confidence and don’t worry about getting the role, just know that you have the ability to nail it.
Take care dude,
Mark.
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Best. show. ever.
Best. news. ever.
Wil, you’re totally my creative thinspo. Rock on.
A plate full of awesomeness for Wil!! My wife chuckles that I’ve been following you via twitter like you’re a close personal friend of mine or something (although truthfully, another time another place we could easily have been good friends our interests run so closely together), but Criminal Minds is one of her favorite shows (she loved Stand By Me and well… she hates Star Trek in general (likes other SF though so go figure)… ), it’ll be awesome (can I say awesome enough?) to see you on Criminal Minds. 🙂
Sorry to be late on the bandwagon, but just got back into the country. Congrats and look forward to seeing it!!