LA Daily: analog folding @ home

A teacher once told an improv class I was in that performers should always work to amuse themselves and have fun while they’re performing, because “when you’re enjoying yourself on stage, the audience will relax and have fun with you.”

It’s one of those things that seems completely obvious, but for a group of first-year students, it was incredibly valuable advice that made a big difference for a lot of us.

I mention this because I really amused and enjoyed myself while I wrote this week’s LA Daily, analog folding @ home:

“Excuse me,” I said to the bored teenage girl who didn’t know how lucky she was to have a job, “I can’t seem to find the Far Side calendar.”

She stopped texting and gave me a look.

“There isn’t a Far Side calendar,” she said.

I laughed at her hilarious joke.

“Seriously,” I said, “make with the Far Side calendar.”

She gave me another look. “They. Did. Not. Make. One. This. Year.”

I began to feel frightened and confused. “They always make a Far Side calendar! How can there not be a Far Side calendar? This is the worst thing since the Holocaust!”

“I’ll be sure to let the company know that.” She said.

My wife put her hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry. He gets like this when he hasn’t taken his pills.”

The girl gave my wife a look, my wife gave me a look, I gave them both a look, and before I knew it, we were walking to the bookstore.

“I don’t think she appreciated my unique brand of tasteless humor,” I said.

“Jee, do you think?” My wife said.

A few minutes later, we stood in the calendar area at the bookstore.

“I can’t believe there’s no Far Side calendar,” I said.

“Yeah,” my wife said, “I got that.”

We looked for several minutes, finding a few possible candidates, but nothing as good as the Far Side calendar that, in my mind, had classics like Midvale School for the Gifted, How Birds See the World, and That One With The Cows Where They’re All Standing Up And One Of Them Says “CAR!” So They Get On Four Legs While The Car Drives By And Then They Stand Back Up.

I took in a breath and opened my mouth to speak.

“No. You’re not going to say another word about it.”

…man, I really miss The Far Side.

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42 thoughts on “LA Daily: analog folding @ home”

  1. I purchased the Far Side calendar for my husband every year for his Christmas stocking stuffer. About two years ago, they stopped making the desktop tear off calendars and I have been experimenting. The first year I got him the Simpsons Trivia calendar. Sounds great, but it turned out to be a big mistake. This year I ended up getting him Dilbert and things are better, but he misses the Far Side. He still has a collection of torn off far side calendar days that he keeps in his desk drawer just to laugh at. First Calvin and Hobbs and then Far Side… It’s a tragedy

  3. I know that it may seem like a good idea at the time to smash your fingers with a hammer, but just trust me on this one, it really isn’t.

  5. That’s why I couldn’t find one for the husband this year! Arrghh!! Had to substitute with “Dilbert” which is okay, but still….

  8. I know the feeling…
    I used to get the ‘Life in Hell’ calendar, notable because it had something of interest printed in the little squares for every day of the year. -And, not just birthdays of famous people; recommendations for books to read, festival notices and more.
    I have made-do with the Futurama calendar, which, luckily they still keep printing. It has a bunch of SF related things noted for the individual days.

  13. I LOVE my Origami A Day calendar. Been recording my progress at my Flickr account. And yeah, five minutes of paper folding a day make a huge difference.

  15. I was also sad about the loss of The Far Side Calendar. However, I was given a Tangram calendar instead as a christmas present, and I’ve been enjoying it quite a bit. A little bit of thinking required when I get to work in the morning 🙂
    Amazon link: http://tinyurl.com/czggpy

  17. By the way, here’s another analog-digital combo entertaintment you may have heard about (or not): Papercraft.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papercraft
    It has an obligatory digital part so that may make you reconsider, but just imagine it, you print stuff, scissor-and-clue it, and it’s a model, sometimes very nice-looking ones.
    The wikipedia page lists some resources, and google will probably yield other good ones, like the Papermodels II mailing list and the 4chan Papercraft and Origami board (if you stay away from the other ickier parts of it like /b/ of course)

  20. I’m with ya. This was a standard Xmas thing. I get my Dad a horrible Hawaiian shirt and he gets me the Desktop Far Side Calendar.
    School for the Gifted is also one of my personal fav’s.
    So is “Get that disgusting thing out of your mouth”

  21. Six years ago, I got an origami-a-day calendar from a coworker. I kept it at work and spent 5 to 15 minutes every day in a peaceful folding zone. It was the best work present I ever got.
    Several jobs have passed, and I’m now in a completely new office with new coworkers. All of the origami that I made during that year have been lost, given away, or thrown out. Save one. That one is a simple four-points star that is, at this very moment, sitting on my work computer while I type.
    Most of the time I don’t even know it’s there. Sometimes in my mind it becomes a handy ninja throwing star that I like to pretend to throw at bothersome coworkers. But mostly it just sits there. Folded.

  28. Bummer! Now I want one even though I wasn’t going to get one anyway.
    My husband got me The Complete Far Side a few years ago, but it’s too heavy to just sit with it on your lap and so big it would take up a lot of space on a desk, so it sits on the shelf and gathers dust.

  29. Im the VERY happy owner of ThinkGeeks custom Demotivator calender. I think this is the first time EVER that Ive paid full price for a calander.
    Been amusing/annoying/irritating my colleagues with it. Much fun.

  30. No Far Side in any format? Wall and/or desk calendar? Not even one of those day-to-day calendar? Massive letdown, hopes it not indicative of how the year will turn out. Just sayin’.
    I’ll shaddup now. :o)

  32. Maybe you can find a Far Side calendar from a previous year?
    1981, 1987, and 1998 are the same as 2009. That is, Jan 1 is a Thursday, and the year has 365 days. Holidays and DST might not match up exactly.

  34. My fiance has an oragami calender too. He loves it. He’s been posting pics of his creations everyday. It really is a few minutes of quiet in a techno world.

  35. Boy, it’s a good thing Anne didn’t give the salesgirl a look, otherwise said salesgirl would be in a rubber room right now, muttering “her eyes…her eyes…they BURN…they BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  36. 1. Ooo. This not be cheap.
    2. Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease… (To be fair, I thought of the CAT FUD one before I read your LA Daily column, Wil. Always been one of my favorites.)
    3. Ahhh, the fuel light is on, we’re going to die! Oh wait, that’s just the intercom light.
    4. You’re sick, Jessie. Sick!
    5. The coconut-like sound of their heads colliding secretly delighted the bird.
    6. Mom said no sitting on the edge, Wayne.
    Those are just the ones I can reel off from memory. I’ll have to dig out my Far Side books and re-experience the fun.

  37. Christ Wil, lament about how the break-up of “Wham” changed your life, how there are no good video arcades anymore, and how no one has been able to better define a generation since the movies of John Hughes and you’ll have a whole night of pity sex in the bag!

  42. Take any tear-off calendar (Cathy perhaps :-), place your favorite Far Side from a previous calendar on top, then take rubber cement and glue all four sides of the calendar. It won’t replace a true Far Side, but it should provide a smile everytime you look at it!

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