Because, really, why wouldn't you interview a stick of butter?
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51 thoughts on “John Scalzi interviews a stick of butter”
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Because, really, why wouldn't you interview a stick of butter?
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Comments are closed.
Now who’s going to interview the cheese wheel?
A bit derivative
That’s soooooo Restaurant at the End of the Universe. It is also my Official Laugh of the Day! I don’t have a Laugh-a-Day calendar, so I have to find my laughs in some other place.
very nice… love the reference to the original Oregon Trail RPG
I like someone’s suggestion of the Stick of Butter having Christopher Walken’s voice. It fits perfectly!
So do I get dinged if I convert the text of the interview to speech?
Oh how did I not think of that too!? It totally is Restaurant at the End of the Universe….guess it has been too long since I read the series…maybe that will be my next readings.
Oh that gave me a much needed giggle fest this morning. Thanks for the link Wil!!!
I see you an interview and I raise you… well.. you just have to watch: http://www.ucbcomedy.com/videos/play/4143
Walken would be good, but I totally pictured Barney,as the Stick of Butter, arguing with Ted (although on second thought, the “sorry” line at the end leads to believe that I was mistaken, and that Marshall is the one arguing). Insert obligatory “Legend ——————wait for it——————-Dairy!!” and “Suit Up” reference here.
Oh, I’d volunteer interview the cheese wheel but I guarantee the cheese wheel wouldn’t survive the interview. 🙂
Those of you who enjoyed John Scalzi’s interview with a stick of butter may also enjoy Mike Nelson’s Socratic Dialogue with a Steak:
http://web.archive.org/web/20010406152030/www.timmybighands.com/essays/steak.asp
That was awesome! I especially liked this part:
SoB: I don’t see you as the Oregon Trail type, either.
Me: Probably not. I imagine I would have died of dysentery.
SoB: Yes.
Me: After eating an entire stick of butter.
SoB: Stop that.
Funny stuff right there!
lmfao, that was great. ;D
That’s awesome!
The dying of dysentery was what put me over the edge, since I’ve died of dysentery over a hundred fucking times, Oregon Trail was like the only computer program they ever let us play in school for some reason. Repressing Catholic school…uggh! On 5 and a half inch floppy disks! Yes, I am that old. But I’m still a year younger than you, Wil.
Heh. Moi, aussie. Okay, everybody, raise your hand if you’re *barely* younger than Wil – if you read this blog when you’re feeling old or sentimental just to say to yourself, “At least I’m younger than Wil Wheaton!” We’ll be propped up on our little lawn chairs at age 80 shouting at our holoscreens, “Who does that old man think he is, paragliding his way through The Fall Guy: The New Generation? He’s going to break a hip! Oh hey – I just got a notice that it’s red Jello night in the cafeteria.”
Oh, that’s just me being me. I started saying it to him years ago on the old site, the one that *someone* broke. It’s like my catchphrase. And since he’s given me ownership of semantics, he’s actually a year and TWO MONTHS older than me!
Call me when he interviews a Snickers Bar…now that will be some great blogging!
That was sheer literary genius!
Awesome history! Ownership of semantics – that’s quite a privilege. It should come with a title and an obscure set of keys.
Well he only gave me semantics last night, and I’m in charge of it as long as he’s in charge of beer. lol
Ugh, beer – let him have it. I’m a tequila or cider girl.
Well, Uncle Willie over here refuses to believe that anything other than Guinness is real beer, so I just let him have his Guinness. I kept Budweiser, which isn’t my first choice as far as beer goes, but if it’s still around in the 23rd century, I’m happy enough with just Budweiser. He’ll be drinking Guinness flavored synthehol. LOL.
My argument that his definition of what beer is was semantics, he wouldn’t budge (no huge shock there), so I got Bud, semantics and the right to pull an old card I have laying around into play whenever I see fit to use it. It was a fair deal. Uncle Willie’s good like that. LMAO…it’s been ages since I’ve referred to him as Uncle Willie. It sounds a bit creepy, considering he’s a year and two months older than me! LOL
No no no. That’s not correct.
There are hundreds of different kinds of beers in the world.
There is also Budweiser.
That’s all I’m saying.
Bullshit! You and your Guinness drinking self over there! I refuse to believe that you would drink anything other than Guinness at this point!
Oregon Trail = Awesome
I once ate a little butter ball at a restaraunt just to see if I could stand it, and it was the worst two minutes of my life.
Butter on everything else, however, is quite the opposite.
That was awesome; my favorite part?
SoB: Yes, all right, fine. Literally, I am yellow all the way through. Metaphorically, however, I am the opposite of yellow.
Me: You’re metaphorically blue?
SoB: Stop that.
BTW Wil, I twittered you, but figured you might not have seen it (I know your @replies probably update like 20 time per second).
Basically I wanted to ask if you had any plans (or any clue) on the publishing of your books for the Kindle. I’ve noticed they only have ‘Just a Geek’.
Since I just got the Kindle I’d actually planned to pick up all your books for it. However I shall be content with ‘Just a Geek’ if I must for now…and will pick up paper copies of the others the next time I see you at a Con. 🙂
Edit –
BTW, my ex-wife was the one who gave you the pirate ship at ECCC, she was wondering if you’d gotten a chance to try it out yet. I told her I’d ask when I got the chance 🙂
postmodern! Who says a stick of butter hasn’t got a valid opinion? (http://pattis.blogspot.com/2006/06/hams-worth-of-hope.html)
Wow that was awesome. Wil, how about you interview your morning pancake. Or possibly the syrup that goes on it. Either will work =]
Never interview syrup. It’s life is a lurid tale just too terrible to tell. Plus, it never shuts up.
Never thought of it that way. Maybe it is better we don’t…
*Snrk*
I’m waiting for somebody to interview Chocolate Butter Lumps.
Hahahaha! What, pray tell, are chocolate butter lumps? Do I want to know?
I thought Parkay was the only talking spread.
No, no you really don’t. There is a concept, a commercial, and a theme song. They are all various stages of horrifying.
Does Fabio count as a talking faux-butter device?
No, no, no…you must tell me all about these Chocolate Butter Lumps. I must know!
Fine. But later.
mwa ha ha?
*edit* tired
TEASE! OK, good enough for now, Darv. Good enough for now. That’s generosity.
Only if a duck flies into his head while he’s on a roller coaster.
Hahahaha! You guys really should check out Darvalous’ blog to find out all about the saga of Chocolate Butter Lumps, very amusing tale behind those. Yeah, yeah, insert shameless plug here…piss in Mr. Wheaton’s Corn Flakes, whatever…but it’s really something to behold. I’m still cracking up about it hours later.
Cool little read… but why didn’t he ask the stick of butter how it was, working with Marlon Brando?
Is this really wil wheaton posting all the blogs? its just so amazing that someone would be so cool like that!
In my mind, all i can hear is Yakov Smirnoff saying, “In Soviet Russia, stick of butter interviews John Scalzi! Ah ah ah ah!”
Either that, or somebody else is wearing his underwear.
True story:
At midnight on my 21st birthday (in the dark times of 1998) I went to CJ Barney’s in Pittsburgh. There, I decided that my first legal beer would be a Budweiser.
20 minutes later, I was in my then-girlfriend’s dorm bathroom ralphing it back up.
Lesson learned. I haven’t touched Budweiser, or any other American “beer” (other than Yuengling) since.
Sorry, but I gotta side with Wil on this one, with one modification: There are also Anheuser-Busch products.
LOL someones gotta intterview the French toast
Oh, why don’t you and old man Wheaton just get a room already?! I’ll spare you, Eric, only because you drink Yuengling and you’re a representative of the fine Commonwealth State of Pennsylvania. And you’re totally cool. And you like decent music. And your blog effing rocks! And you’re one of my top 10 favorite twitter friends. But I digress…
Mr. A Year and Two Months Older Than Me? (That would be you, Mr. Wil Wheaton, who tricked me into taking responsibility for Budweiser and subjected me to a public shaming afterward)…you’re totally being put on notice as of now.
Prepare yourself for the relentless teasing that you and I both know that I am capable of dishing out. If you thought I was bad on Teh Soapbox, you ain’t seen nothing yet, old man!
That is all. For now.