112 thoughts on “please don’t drive like an asshole.”

1. How many accidents do people have to cause before they realize that they can be better drivers? How many accidents have to happen before people realize that none of us are immortal? How many accidents have to happen before people understand that they’re accountable and responsible for everything they do on the road?
   My dad used to tell me when I first got my license to be a defensive driver. The only person you can control on the road is yourself, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be wary.

2. Sometimes I feel like I am overly cautious. Stories like this make me feel like I am appropriately cautious. I’m glad you avoided the accident.
   Before I learned to drive, Steve Jackson taught me to drive offensively. It turns out that not all lessons learned from games can be successfully applied to real life.

3. Ungh, god, that’s so scary. I watched a lady who was talking on her phone and not at all paying attention drive *off* the freeway up onto a grassy hill, nearly flipped, drove back down, through the 1 into the 2 lane, all the while going at least 65. Helpts to remind me why I don’t drive any more… ungh. 🙁
   Glad you’re unhurt in the whole ordeal. Keep safe!

4. I know how you feel Wil. A few years ago I saw a guy in North London knocked down by a car racing another around a sharp corner. He was thrown a good 10 feet into the air. He was very lucky and escaped with quite minor injuries. The incident shook me up badley. I couldn’t stop thinking about it for weeks.

5. I’m glad you’re OK and didn’t get hit. Accidents can be pretty scary. Sometimes its bad to think, “what if I was just 15 seconds faster?” it didn’t happen and just be thankful. I’m sure you already did, but it just reminds us to hug our spouse and children (in my case, dogs) extra tightly. I saw a pedestrian get it running across 5 lanes of traffic. He got hit right in front of me, about 5 feet, and just flew in the air. This was the pedestrians fault as opposed to the car. I was so shaken seeing that. Can’t imagine seeing a violent car rec. I hate the freeways.

6. Saw firetrucks & smoke on the 405 North this morning as I merged onto the 105 exit; I guess it’s just an epidemic of crazy driving today. Glad you are ok & that the person in the van didn’t die from that guy’s complete idiocy.

7. In my former life (1991-1994), I was a volunteer firefighter for a small municipality in Saratoga, CA (around San Jose). Did my certifications, got my EMT credential and did a lot and saw a lot.
   Two things I take away:
   1. I never get ‘used’ to the sight of or decimation that can be caused by a traffic accident – It always pumps the adrenaline and luckily my rescue instincts kick in and take over – sort of auto-pilot
   2. It always amazes me how many assholes are out on the road that contribute not only to the first accident, but to any subsequent accidents – pull your heads out of your asses and drive safely.
   Every day I get on the road and hope that today is not the day I meet up with an idiot just not thinking correctly or just has no driving skills at all.
   Kiss you wife, hug your kids and thank GOD it wasn’t you today – looks like a critical success roll to me.
   Bill Teeple
   San Jose, CA

8. My husband and I were involved in a bad crash about a year and a half ago because of an asshole driver. He was speeding, in the rain, and slammed into the car behind us, which then slammed into *us*. He wasn’t paying attention and didn’t see the stopped traffic in front of him. Our car was totalled and we wound up at the hospital, but we’re okay now.
   I wish it was illegal to be an asshole. Then we could take away their licences and throw them in jail. Maybe we should take George Carlin’s suggestion and turn the whole state of Wyoming into a prison, just for assholes.
   Wil, I’m glad you’re okay.

9. Holy crap. O.o When I was little we almost got in a bad crash heading home from my aunt’s place. We were okay, but the guy who almost hit us over-corrected and went cartwheeling through about six lanes of traffic. Didn’t hit anyone else, thankfully, but he was pretty banged up.
   Glad you’re okay, man.

10. That is terrifying. My favorite thing about living in NYC is not driving. Had a similar experience on the 101 years ago. Glad to hear you’re ok.
    On a related note, everyone who drives (particularly on the freeways) should read this:
    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/4/14/720033/-Youve-Seen-It-Before;-READ-IT-AGAIN-DAMMIT!!-(Redux)

11. I think the best advice for driving is a bit that I’ve heard often given to cyclists and motorcyclists: “Remember that everyone on the road is actively trying to kill you.”
    Though that attitude seems paranoid, it’ll help keep you alive when they’re assholes or just stupid.

12. I had a full year where I could not go more than two month without finding some sort of accident (a pedestrian hit, a woman merging onto the interstate who caused an accident with a family van, etc.). The last, and worst accident seems to have broken the cycle.
    After work, about 23:15, I was driving home. A little red sports car came barreling up the on-ramp, and hit a semi-truck, the car didn’t stand a chance. I pulled over to help, passenger of the car was already deceased when I got to him (a broken neck), the driver (the lucky one), was alive, but had lost a hand. Needless to say, I try to be a careful driver.

13. Which freeway was this? I want to know where NOT to drive today. =(

14. I once came upon a single car accident on a deserted road. It was the worst thing you can ever imagine and obviously someone was an asshole because they left the scene of the accident. Someone called because I could see the lights of the cop coming our way. Thinking I could help I pulled over and started to walk over to the accident.
    I stopped in the middle of the median because I knew there was no helping someone in more than one piece. I waited for the cop, because I didn’t think I could drive right away and it felt wrong to drive away.
    I kind of drive like an old lady – but well, better safe than sorry.

15. It’s amazing just how bad some people are at driving. They don’t focus, they don’t know the rules of the road, and they think it is their right to drive.
    I recall a bad one from October 2000 where I watched a little compact get hit headon by a Lincoln on a rain-soaked rural road. The lady in the compact was lucky to be alive, despite the fact that she didn’t have a seatbelt on. She was a mess. The family in the Lincoln, which was deposted upside down in a ditch a few feet away, where unharmed. I was only a few car lengths behind the compact.
    Every day that I get in the car with my kids I wonder if this will be the day that some meathead who isn’t paying attention or just left the bar is going to plow us down.

16. I can’t wait till they develop cars that drive for themselves. I would be so much more confident in a machine’s ability to keep us all safe than some of these drivers out there. I just don’t understand the whole speed up, slam on your breaks right behind the car in front of you thing.
    What’s the average car trip, 15 miles? If you do the math, driving at 95mph instead of 65mph saves you a whole FOUR MINUTES! On top of that, for most cars that speed probably doubles your gas usage.
    Glad your okay Will… and thanks for spreading the word “Please don’t drive like an asshole!”

17. Happy that you were only a witness and not a participant. As long as you drive with the conviction that someone somewhere is going to do something stupid and that you need to keep your eyes open and reflexes prepared, the better off you’ll be 🙂

18. I feel yah my 17 year old just got his permit. I dread the day I have to let him drive off by himself..He is good at driving, but like you said to your kid, there are tons of asshole drivers waiting to mess your day/life up.

19. Well said. I see unbelievable idiocy every single day I have to drive somewhere – idiots and morons with total and complete disregard for the rules of the road. Why can’t I live in a city in which cars are not required? I never should have left New York.

20. I do not trust machines, I’ve seen the terminator movies. no sir you can keep your smart robots. I’ll take dumb robots (i.e. they require human interaction to even operate) any day.

21. First off, I feel you on the muscle thing, as I am 34 and last night I managed to somehow pull a neck muscle in my sleep and have been wincing all day.
    Secondly, I will never forget what my dad said to me “It’s not you I don’t trust on the road, it’s all the other people”. I’ve always been a defensive driver – he was so right.

22. *shudders* a few years ago someone merged lanes without looking to see if someone was actually already there. There was. That vehicle swerved hard to avoid hitting them, taking them into my lane, causing me to do some fast corrections. Fortunately for other traffic(maybe), the only thing on my left was a wall. Fishtaled and hit it a couple times, ricocheted across four lanes of I85 and hit the other wall. Had traffic been any heavier, a wreck that actually only involved one car totaled (called Tuvok, by the way. At the time the fact that it Tauruses had a Vulcan engine amused me to no end)and a somewhat shaken driver could have been a nice sized pile up with an ambulance or six.
    Meh. Damn drivers. *sigh*
    On a lighter note, the car I ended up with after Tuvok was another Ford Taurus. It also has a Vulcan engine. Its a nice slate/gray-blue, and its name is Spock.

23. I wish it wasn’t just a matter of statistical probability that I’ll get into a crash one day, but it is. It probably is for alot of us. I live in a greater metropolitan area of 3-4 million people. What’s greater L.A. – like seven million? Traffic is crammed and decisions are made at high speed. Under the conditions, every average-to-good driver probably makes a small, boneheaded decision once per week without realizing it. Combine those incidents with the truly bad drivers out there, and it’s just going to happen. Heck, the first time my husband came to town to visit my parents, he encountered a car speeding towards him in the wrong direction on the freeway. He swerved and avoided the guy, but I don’t think the car behind him was so lucky.

24. Maybe someone left, but I’ve seen drivers wipe out *badly* all by themselves. It’s especially common at night.

25. Okay.. maybe total machine control is a little too far. 🙂 But why can’t people at least use their cruise control? I get 40mpg in my Honda Fit if I stick to cruise. When you’re using cruise control you notice how much unnecessary speeding up and slowing down everyone else does… and to me all that speeding up, slowing down, and weaving in and out of traffic is what causes car accidents.
    Wow, I just read what I typed. Maybe I should get a Lincoln town car and start wearing suspenders and a bow tie? Next thing you know I’ll throw my back out sitting down.

26. When I moved to Minneapolis last fall, I noticed how badly my stress level went up from people driving like idiots. (I actually felt safer on the freeway when I lived in LA.) I think it’s because people are in a big hurry. If they’d just slow down and pay attention, a lot less people would get hurt and many parents would be less concerned.

27. I completely agree some people don’t need anyone else on the road to wipe out. However trust me when I say – someone had to call the authorities and the driver of this car didn’t. Someone obviously left the scene of the accident. Whether they were involved in the accident or not – I’ll never know. I just know its been 20 years and I can still see it clear as crystal.

28. We need a PSA with that message. “Wil Wheaton says: Don’t drive like an asshole!” We can drop the please cause it’s past time for being polite. In just over 20 years of driving I have never hit anyone, but they just LOVE to hit me. In the last 2 years I’ve been rear ended twice, while sitting at a red light!! Both times the driver didn’t have any insurance.

29. Man, I’m sorry.

30. HEY!
    I’m watching you, mister.
    /shakes cane

31. When I took driver’s education, they showed us statistics that proved your odds of being in a wreck at least one time in your life are … 1:1.

32. Thank you for sharing this story, Wil. If one single person reads and decides to drive more safely–even for one day before reverting to assholeness–you will have helped the world incrementally.
    My dad taught me how to drive, and since he was a fighter pilot, he taught me kinetically, like, how the car should feel. Learning that way saved my life at least eight times I know of during the five years I commuted over 100 miles per day. I saw way too many drivers actively trying to kill me with their stupidity (or assholeness) to ever relax while driving.
    Glad you’re safe. Thanks for sharing.

33. I got my learners permit when I was 15, in 1995. From ’95 to ’98, I witnessed 4 accidents that all required the response of multiple EMT units. The combination of having seen such accidents scared me so much, to this day, I have not ever held a license to drive.

34. If everyone saw that at 20 – there would be no crazy drivers out there. Also no drunk drivers.

35. Everyone I know has been after me for years to get a license. I’m currently 28 and never have bothered. I work from home, due to a medical condition that keeps me from holding a “real” job, so I’ve never really had the need. This just serves to remind me of why.
    I know I would BE one of those stupid drivers, although I’d probably be more like a little old lady scared as hell that somebody’d hit me or I’d hit somebody, so I’d go like 5 miles an hour on the freeway and cause a pile up by going too slow.
    Glad you’re ok, Wil!
    Jess K.
    http://twitter.com/mynock77

36. My ex-husband and I were rear ended at a red light a few years ago. The driver hit and run, paying no attention whatsoever to that I was 8 1/2 months pregnant at the time. Luckily the baby and I were both okay, but when the police caught the driver, it turned out he had driven off because he was uninsured and had a suspended license.

37. Very glad you’re okay, Wil!
    I just did my driver safety refresher course for Saltmine U.’s vanpool yesterday. (The 3-second rule is now the 4-second rule, and we got warned about those Evil Stationary Objects that attack vans, like parking structure 9.) I’m on the LA freeways for about 15 hours a week, and man, I have seen some horrid things. There’s one accident a week involving the vanpool vans alone. It’s pretty scary, and some nights, once I get into my own car, the adrenaline that flooded my system on the commute drains out of me, and I start crying.
    It’s not worth it to change lanes to gain 50 yards, or to tailgate, or to take curves 20mph above what they were designed for. That extra 5 minutes you might gain isn’t worth the stress and possible accidents.

38. “…so I slowed down too, just in case people whipped out of that lane and into mine. It happens all the time…”
    THIS.
    It scares me sometimes when I’m driving with someone (as a driver or a passenger) and they are completely surprised by some other driver’s maneuver, which I saw coming ten seconds ago.
    There really are no surprises on the road if you pay attention, which includes assessing the “personality” of drivers around you. Other drivers are entirely predictable — even the assholes — once you learn to recognize patterns of behaviour. That guy in your passenger rear view mirror burning down the merge lane that ends beside you? OF COURSE he’s going to cut you off. If that surprises you, it’s your own damn fault.

39. Now just imagine… if you were one of the asshole drivers that is willing to cut people off for a 15 second headstart… you could have been T-boned!
    Sometimes being the sane one has its benefits.

40. CaseyB nails it. In MSF training they taught us SIPDE (which is now out of date – there’s something with a better acronym – but it’s effective nonetheless) Scan (look ahead and all around) Interpret (attach meaning to what you’re seeing) Predict (given what you’ve seen and what you already know, what’s likely to happen next?) Decide (decide what you’ll do if it happens) Execute (do it if does happen).
    Practice actively seeing everything, watch for behavior-based, location-based, time-based, condition-based patterns, and practice predicting behavior. It will become routine. My gf (copilot and navigator) and I routinely see stupid shit and say to each other “yup, I’m not surprised, how ’bout you?”

41. Yeah, it’s been fifteen or twenty years since then, right? They can’t be any better.

42. good old MSF training…that actually caused me to be a better driver in my car, as well as on 2 wheels.
    Wil, here’s a video you need to see (http://www.break.com/index/motorcycle-barely-avoids-scary-accident.html, html code won’t work for some reason)…i’m still wondering if the guy on the bike had to change his drawers.

43. I dunno. There are certain local characteristics to driving in less populous places, I’ve noticed, and you can start to figure out what a driver is fixing to do. For example, there are two speeds in Louisiana, and none of them sit in the middle of the odometer. If you’re behind a bass boat in the afternoon, you’re not going to get anywhere soon. If you’re in front of a bass boat at dawn, you better move the heck out of the way. And if you’re next to a dually at the light, he will burn heaps of rubber just because he can, then probably slow down within a block, possibly cutting you off first.
    But when you’re in a large enough city, you’ve got people from everywhere. I don’t know if I’m behind a Mexico City or New Orleans driver who’s used to driving like he’s in a roundabout (slowly except on the turn, and never signalling), a typical Ohio driver who observes every signal and speed limit so scrupulously that he’s actually caused three accidents behind him on the way to work, a southern rural driver who’s used to going exactly fifty everywhere, doesn’t recognize lanes but does wave one finger above the steering wheel or over his head to say ‘Howdy’ as he cuts you off, or what. The signals get all mixed. You just have to know the most common dangers of the routes you drive regularly and then hope for the best.

44. Yesterday I was attempting to get on the 10 during rush hour. It was on of those on-ramp things where you have to make sure no ones coming in the lane you want to merge onto, and there were plenty of cars coming, so I had to stop and wait. The moment I stop, some crazy woman behind me immediately starting honking and waving her hands around like how dare I stop and I should probably merge right *into* traffic so she can get on faster. It sort of freaks me out, so I go a little sooner than I should, and then this blue truck gets right on my ass and stays there for quite some time, but I couldn’t get over. I was sooo angry at all these asshole drivers who are almost willing to kill me to get to wherever they’re going quicker. I swear, I wish I had some throwing stars or a spear to throw at them…

45. Wow. Thank God for perfect timing.. I haven’t gotten in a crash yet but from reading the other comments it looks like I probably will someday. I dont’ even drive yet so if I do within the next 3 years then it won’t be my fault. Well good thing it wasn’t anything like the one you saw in your mind on Mr. Stitch. Bought it a few days ago.. it was awesome. I could totally tell it was you.. I could still see the freckle on your lip. 🙂 (Wow. That was totally random… sorry 🙂

46. Thanks for posting this up Wil. When I was 6 years old I was riding in the car with my mother, father, and brother when we were rear ended by a large cargo van because the driver was not paying attention to the road. The van literally ran over our Ford Escort and crushed me in the process. The rest of my family had scratches and bruises, I have my skull crushed in. I was in a coma for 6 months and the doctors thought that I would either never wake up, or I would die. By some miracle I awoke and the only damage my brain had suffered was amnesia. I am 26 now and have grown into a well adjusted adult, and am pleased with my life, but I always can’t help but wonder if I would be a different person had that accident NOT happened.

47. Yours is definitely scarier than mine from two days ago. But driving home from work, traffic was crawling through a particular bottleneck intersection not very far from my house (by bottleneck I mean I pretty much can’t go around it–it’s one of two or three points in my daily commute that I have no choice about) because of a nasty accident. Bad enough that an ambulance was on the scene and there was a guy on a stretcher with a neck brace. The ambulance was partially blocking the road I would normally go up, so now that I’d reached the intersection, I detoured around to finish going home, rather than crawl past the accident itself. Very next light, perhaps 100 yards away from that last intersection, had I gone straight instead of around, and I’m waiting on red, front car. In the cross-street, pointed back towards the previous accident, a dickhead decides to try to sneak a quick left turn in through a break in the traffic going the other way. Except he doesn’t actually have enough room, and the car he tried to jump in front of smacks into his trailing corner. Fortunately neither driver was hurt–this wasn’t a highway and while neither car had only minor damage, both drivers were climbing out unharmed as my light turned green. Needless to say, I, too, was very careful with the remainder of my drive home.
    Then later that evening my XBox 360 suffered the 3-blinking-red-lights demise. Not the best evening ever. Not complaining, though–I wasn’t in an accident, and the broken XBox is covered under the extended warranty for that problem. Just have to do without it for a couple weeks while it’s repaired.

48. Jesus H. Christ! I’m glad that you’re all right, but after reading your post, I actually felt like I was there, because I’ve seen things like that happen and was shaken up the way you are right now. I’ve heard that the California Freeway is a bad place to drive, but here in Philly, we have Roosevelt Boulevard, which is noted as being one of the most dangerous roads to drive on in the entire country as far as accidents are concerned.
    The intersection at Red Lion Road is listed as the second most dangerous intersection in the country, and the intersection at Grant Avenue is the third. Thanks to the latter, and some dipshit who was talking on her cell phone rear-ending me at 45mph, I have 2 herniated discs in my back and degenerative disc disease. That accident happened 10 years ago, and if I had known at the time that I would have permanent injuries, I would have sued the crap out of her. Being a new driver at the time (yes, I waited until I was 25 to get my driver’s license, and yes I took driving lessons, and of course I was wearing my seatbelt), I just figured that those magic muscle relaxers my doctor gave me fixed me within a couple of days, so I just settled with letting her auto insurance company issue me a check for the total value of my car and figured I was just lucky or something. Not the case.
    Five years later, while I was trying to calm down one of my autistic students after he began slamming his head on the floor, I felt something in my back pop and I couldn’t feel my legs. It scared the crap out of me, and basically what I was told was that I had aggravated the old injuries I sustained in that car accident. So yeah, eventually I’m going to need surgery, but I refuse to claim disability and won’t take anything stronger than ibuprofen because I’m stubborn about such things.
    I think the only thing that pisses me off more than asshole drivers are drunk/high drivers, who don’t even deserve to be lumped in with regular asshole drivers, at least not in my opinion. I consider them to be criminally negligent assholes. I and almost everyone I know have lost loved ones to the criminally negligent assholes of this world.

49. I often put the blame for traffic accidents on the idea that people have no patience.
    If we just took a little more time to get where we need to go,had the patience to let someone go in front of us or decided to take the long way just cause we missed the turn we were intending to take.
    This is easier said than done and I can under stand that,the pressure to be somewhere and get there fast isn’t always due to our choices but most of the time it is.
    Paint me guilty as well for feeling the need too speed in excess because I have left for work late,trying to get to a doctors appointment and even on my way to traffic court!.
    It has only been in recent years that I came to realise that my being late is going to get someone killed or me, I can deal with my dying but I would feel soo incredibly horrible for the rest of my day’s knowing that I injured or killed some body because of my stupidity.
    Now I undersatnd that if i am late for something that i just have to face the consequences for that,my speeding up or driving recklessly isnt going to do me or any one else any good and an officer of the law isn’t concerned with how late I am when he is writing me a citation.
    “Patience, it’s more than a virtue..it’s saves lives!”

50. Yeah, I originally had my permit in 1989, but waited until 1999 until I actually got my license for similar reasons. Not 6 months into having that license, I was permanently injured in an accident caused by an asshole driver. I wrote a more lengthy post about that towards at the bottom of the page, though.

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