“Don’t trust anyone you meet online. You could regret it.”

ByWil

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(from Cory Doctorow by way of John Rogers on Twitter)

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57 Comments

  8. LMAO! I had no idea where that was going and I was getting very concerned for the girl – as I should be! Those Cthulhu are dangerous! Does this mean you’ll be bringing Munchkin Cthulhu to the set of Big Bang Theory?

  12. I met you once on an airplane about 20 years ago going from Heathrow to LAX. I knew you looked familiar but I didn’t know who you were. I guess I was staring because you took off your headphones and said “hello”. I ran away. I won’t make the same mistake next time. I’ll say “hello” back, and then run away.
    I am not a Cthulhu and I never ever saw you ever again in person.

  14. I met my wife online, but I’ll be honest, before we met in person I did my best to find a mutual friend who knew her to confirm that she “isnt the kind of person whos gonna make a “man suit” out of me like a twisted inverted buffalo bill scenario” turns out she had asked the same woman beforehand if im “the kind of guy who keeps young women on ice in the freezer to have my way with later”.
    Thats how I knew we were meant for each other. Also, yes that is actually how we met and what we asked.

  18. Firstly,
    Hey Alisa,
    I’d love to talk about this with you in more detail as I’d really like to get a few tips from you in this area.
    Secondly,
    Regarding this post “never trust anyone on the internet…”
    Well, considering this is coming from a guy on the internet . . . haha.
    Thanks for the giggle. Very funny.
    .

  28. Perhaps Cthulhu realized that people weren’t bothering to sleep anymore. Some people just can’t sleep, and others stay up all night trying to beat just one more level of Dead Space, because at night, they can see the screen better without all the damn sunlight glare that filters in no matter how many shades you use.
    So, Cthulhu disguised himself as a somewhat famous actor who made his debut on a TV show about boldly flying to distant galaxies, pissing off the inhabitants, then quantum leaping their asses back home so their bald leader would not get his brain polished by a giant Slor. Only a select handful remembered this actor because he also appeared on a movie about a ball of swirly colors that fell from the sky and made the water supply resemble the T-Virus, which caused his momma to get locked in the attic because she started looking like a head of broccoli. But those who did remember were prime targets for Cthulhu’s mad woo’ing skills. He even growled out some nonsense that Gene Roddenberry thought would make an awesome name for a character. Wssssssssssssssssssssllllleeeekkkkrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*farts a couple times to clear the stutter*rrrrrrrrrrrrsssssssssrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    In episode 97 of season 46.2 you catch a brief glimpse of Mr Wheaton slipping out of character. His eyes flash for a second and if you have the zoom feature on your DVD player, you will notice about 5645697894789768 devoured souls reflected in his cornea. The effect only lasts for a moment, but Cthulhu/Wheaton stands there motionless, savoring the flavor of the toasty damned.

  40. Yog Sothoth is my boy, we cruise Sarnath pumping tunes by Erich Zann–get laid in the Witch House then wasted at Innsmouth and then crash beyond the walls of sleep. You know how we roll, in strange aeons even death must die!

  41. Well, I met my wife on wbs (anyone remember that one?). 10 years later, he is pretty close to insane now. Guess I am one of the Great Old Ones, too.
    Nah … I blame the kiddos for that 😉

  43. Allow me to reference my list of Fark clichés.
    You, sir, along with Cory Doctorow and John Rogers, have won 1 (one) internet. You may pick it up on the way out.
    /has met more creepy weirdos offline than in the AOL chatrooms of the late ’90s & IRC combined.

  45. That’s freakin’ awesome. I’d share with my friends, but only a small fraction of them would get it. And those have probably already been here anyway. 😉

  50. Are you the same author “Whateley” that penned “I Cthulhu” or What’s A Tentacle-Faced Thing Like Me Doing In A Sunken City Like This (Latitude 47° 9′ S, Longitude 126° 43′ W)?
    By the way, Chris Hansen ran across a Cthulhu predator on NBC Dateline not too long ago.

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